And Desire smiles, and forgets, for Desire is a creature of the moment.

In their little 'town' on the island every couple, unless they willingly choose to share or had little kids, had their own cabin.

Considering how fucking rich they are, the cabins weren't that luxurious but they were comfortable for everyone's personal needs and big enough to have people hang out or sleep over, too.

Jasper said that last year was the year he decorated and got his own because prior, he had always shared with his twin.

The cabin he brought me to has a lot of green in it, plants too, a ton of odd trinkets and musical instruments- -that he let me organize so in my mind, it mimicked our dorm- -as well as a really big kitchen I knew I'd enjoy cooking in.

"And this is our room." Jasper says, opening the door for me.

In the center of the room was a giant, and I mean giant, bed that Jasper made a b-line to and even the giant had a lot of room to sprawl out on.

There was a desk on the left with notebooks on them, my boyfriend let me look but when I did nothing was in English so, feeling a bit confused and stupid, I quickly closed them.

On the wall across the space were pictures of mostly Jasper's family instead of himself and while I want to know about them, he's way more interesting, so I kept looking around.

In the closet there were some more sweatshirts and hoodies, some of which I know I'd be wearing by the end of the week.

His room had a lot of blacks and dark greens, the rug next to the end of the bed was probably the only light decoration, it being mint.

Everything screamed 'Jasper' at me.

It even smelled like him, which was comforting.

Catching my attention by shifting to sit up, Jasper pouts a little at me until I walk over to him.

"Star," My boyfriend grabs my hips, pulling me into him until his face can nuzzle into my stomach. "Do you like it?"

"Fuck yeah, I look at- -at, at, at- -everything and it reminds me of you." I smirk, running my hand through his arms as his arms tighten around my hips. "Why wouldn't I like that?"

"I don't know..." He whines. "No reason?"

Jasper worries too much, that much is obvious.

"I don't know...there's a lot of green?"

"I like green." Explaining this, I think how oblivious this green-eyed man must be to think that I don't like the color of his eyes.

"You do?" I nod, making him sigh. "Bueno mierda, I thought you might not like it."

Grabbing onto his raise, I force Jasper to look at me. "Don't curse like that.

"You know how to curse in Spanish?" Jasper blinks at me in surprise, cheeks flushing.

I shrug, "Yeah..."

"Does that mean...you knew when I was cursing all the time, and you said nothing?"

The musician looks and acts so fucking cute when he's caught doing something 'bad' even if it's something like this, where all he said was 'shit.'

"Well," My smirk speaks for itself. "I figured you were doing it in another language for a reason."

His pout deepens. "But you don't know anything else?"

"I've actually been- -bit hot innit-" This british accent is a bit annoying to me. "-practicing with my uncle."

Nose wrinkling a bit, Jasper tilts his head at me adorably. "Why?"

Shrugging again, I squish his cheeks a bit, chuckling as he angrily pouts at me for it so I lean in to kiss him, which he happily accepts.

"Your entire family speaks it," Saying this, I give him a small kiss on the corner of his now-grinning mouth. "And you've- -mother ducklings- -had to make them talk in English before, just so I could understand. I'm a lot better at understanding what is said than actually speaking it. But I've learned a lot!"

Another reason I didn't sleep much.

"Was that, is that weird?"

It is, isn't it? Just like when I brought Noelle over.

Oops?

"Weird?" He huffs. "That's not weird, you just wanted to learn and be excluded more and be able to understand my family -which is very considerate of you, not weird, Castor."

Blinking down to him, realizing how sincere he's being while also being the most adorably attractive person alive, it takes a bit of concentration not to blush.

Me being a genius, I come up with the most amazing reply in the form of, "You're odd."

Jasper pauses, eyebrow raised. "I'm odd? Why am I odd?"

"The way you act towards me, even from the day we first met," When I knocked myself out with a box. "You never treated me like I was weird which makes you weird."

That wasn't a confusing explanation at all or anything.

"That's not how that works, also, why would I treat you like you're weird?" Because I'm literally a freak? "You're really awesome and all that, but it's not like you run around the streets naked. Now that is weird. Besides, I'm odd for reasons completely different than treating you like an actual human being."

I hum in reply, not wanting to have to describe to him how weird I see myself.

Running my hand through his hair, one of his arms tighten around me as he changes the topic back to the start.

"I'm guessing you know what 'fresa' means already, of course."

"Duh," I snort, grinning, since it was pretty much the first thing I looked up, I also know the double meaning. "I've known what Cece has been all along."

Jasper's jaw drops for just a moment before he laughs, hiding his face against my abdomen again. "That's mean!"

"Who would have guessed that me, the asshole-" I sarcastically gasp. "-was mean."

"Castor Alpha." Jasper scolding me while nudging his nose into my side sends a slight shiver up my spine that makes me glare down at him, knowing he can't tell what he's doing to me. "You are not an asshole! At least, not to me."

"We've already been through this Jasper, if I was mean or an asshole to you, something would be wrong."

My boyfriend just shrugs, making a 'meh' sound that just says he doesn't really care.

And it made me think that with his last boyfriend, he wasn't given the choice to care.

"Wait, Jasper, if I was mean to you," I gently angle his jaw up so he faces me. "Would you tell someone?"

"What kind of mean?" He asked, head tilting up.

"Any kind. If I'm yelling at you a lot, or insulting you, or- -mother duckling!- -hitting you, would you tell someone?"

This was important to know.

Not because I'd ever do any of that, I would never abuse him in any way but I know that it's not only romantic relationships that can be toxic.

The musician just looks confused as he responds. "You wouldn't hit me. Well, not on purpose."

"Jasper," I tighten my hand and he sits up straighter. "That wasn't what I asked. Would you tell someone if I was hurting you?"

He frowns, minty eyes blinking at me. "How many times would you do it?"

That reply feels like a punch in the gut.

My jaw clenches as I shake my head at him. "That doesn't matter."

"I don't -but..." Jasper shrinks in on himself, fingers fidgeting on my hips. "If you were yelling or something, I-I'd deserve it?"

"No you -no you wouldn't." I growl, shoulders tensing. I'm trying my hardest to stay calm but this is all making me want to cry the same time it pisses me off. "That's not good communication, even if you did get me- -Christmas lights- -upset. You don't deserve that, ever, and if I ever treat you like that you shouldn't ever think you deserve it."

"B-but everyone has bad, has bad days, if it happened once that's n-not a big deal." My boyfriend's stammer makes my heart clench and his words make my stomach drop.

"It is a big deal," I correct, growling before squeaking three times. "If I hit you, just once, just one time because I lost my cool, that's not okay. I'd never hurt you. Fuck- -Sasuke!- -I'd never do that, but know that that isn't okay, Jasper. It's really not."

"I...don't understand." Admitting this, I see tears building in Jasper's eye. "I, I mean, if I'm the only one g-getting hurt why does it matter?"

He actually doesn't understand.

That's not because he's dumb or doesn't know those things are serious, it's because he's been conditioned to think that.

And that's not okay.

It's fucking terrible.

"If Fly punched me, even once, even if I- -if, if, if- -was being annoying, or called me a freak, or spaz because of my- -Sasuke- -tics, would it matter? Only if it just happened one time?"

Hopefully saying it like this will get him to understand -I know he really, really doesn't like it when I get hurt.

Even by pomegranates.

"Yes." Jasper nods. "But I still don't get why I would have to tell someone."

So someone like your dad or me or even fucking Axel can show up and beat the shit out of them before letting the police handle it.

Instead of saying that, I tell him, "Because your pain matters-" A growl interrupts me. "-the exact same way mine does, Jitterbug. It doesn't matter if you do something to make someone else mad, there's no reason- -Christmas lights- -for them to hurt you."

There really isn't one, not one, excuse for it.

Abuse is abuse.

Love doesn't change that, just makes it easier to hide.

"Otherwise it's abuse. Or assault. That's why it's illegal."

"I'm sorry," Jasper looks down, hands moving up to my sides. "I should've known that."

"Hey, it's okay that you didn't." Saying this, my fingers tap on his cheek three times and it's relieving that he doesn't flinch. "Well, not okay- -Sasuke- -because you've been hurt, but because someone else made you believe that. What matters is that you learn that now."

"I w-want to learn, I just...um, I just also d-don't want to know everything he did." I understand that. "All the bad things, I mean. I don't want to know how bad it was, even if I know it was bad."

A lot of the time people who are abused have separation anxiety. Sometimes it's because the good people in their life left but other times and often, it's because the abusers convinced them that the world was much crueler than they'd ever be.

That if they were separated, when they got back together- -like it was some inevitable thing- -they'd have to prove their love. Or have hell to pay.

Or they're just so used to constantly being watched, told what to do and needing permission for everything that without that it makes someone so anxious to have to do things it feels worse than the abuse.

Jasper asks to do things he shouldn't have to ask for.

And I don't think he knows that just because I'm doing the right thing, it doesn't mean I'm 'the one.'

Of course, I believe I am and want to be with him until he gets sick of me, but that's not why.

"It's okay, Star," Jasper mumbles, chin resting on the top of my hip as he looks up at me -breaking me from my thoughts. "I didn't mean to make you angry."

"It's- -Sasuke!- -not your fault."

He cuddles closer to me. "Castor? I...I know what h-happened to me wasn't okay but you know I'm okay, right? I'm recovering, but I'm okay."

"I know, Jitterbug," Sighing, I run a hand through his hair and focus on my love for him rather than my hate for any of the other fuckers. "I just- -I want you to stay safe and stay okay and it makes me so angry that he hurt you the way he did, angry because he conditioned you to think that you deserved something like- -Sasuke- -being hurt. It makes me want to- -to, to, to- -hurt him back, Jasper, that's how angry I get."

"But that's okay! Not that he did all that, but it's okay that it makes you angry. It makes me angry too. I'm just scared." It's more than anger for me though, it's vengeance, it's violence. "You'll never hurt me, that I believe. Even your headbutts are more amusing than anything else. So I can learn, and you can teach me. You're angry but you can't hide that almost-therapist brain of yours."

Almost-therapist brain?

I'm pretty sure I'm just an overthinker.

And an asshole.

"Yeah, okay." I snort, shuffling slightly as his fingers run over my hips. "You're pretty much the only one that thinks that."

Jasper shakes his head adorably. "Viv thinks so too."

"You gossiping about me to that D'Silvetta?" I ruffle his hair, pretending to glare at him as he grins at me. "How rude."

"I have to fanboy about you to someone that doesn't make them too annoyed, she's the perfect candidate, because then she gets to complain about Ahmik as much as her blackened heart desires. If I try to talk to Axel or Dela about it they just end up teasing me."

Stupid Axel.

Wait -fanboy?

"You 'fanboy' about me?"

I didn't think he was serious when he said he talked about me.

Before my boyfriend hides his face against my stomach, I'm able to catch sight of his now bright-red cheeks. "And there I go, searching for a hole to die in."

"C'mon, Jitterbug, no dying on me now. Do you know how awkward that would be to explain to your parents?" I scoff. "Fly texted me and said he wanted us all to play volleyball at the beach."

He just groans in reply, saying words that are distinctly Russian. But they're in the exact same tone he uses to curse previously in Spanish.

That's so fucking cute.

And fuck-

He's so smart.

"Are you- -bit hot innit- -swearing Fly out?"

"Um..." Now even the back of his neck heats up under my palm. "N-no?"

"Liar." Pulling back to be able to bend over and give him a small kiss, I can't help but to smirk. "Your jealousy is so cute, Jitterbug."

"I can't help it." Jasper pouts at me. "You and Fly always -uh..."

"What were you going to say? What do Fly and I do?" I frown, not having thought me and Fly do anything weird together.

Besides, maybe, exist.

"It's stupid."

"Just tell me, please."

"You guys stare at each other a lot," Does he mean during games? "It's like you're waiting for something."

Oh.

We communicate in a way, just by the way we stand, move, slight hand or head signals. I can tell everything from what way he's sending the ball, how hard he's going to throw, what way he's thinking I need to run, to what mood he's in, if something happened with his mom, if he wants to talk about something, or wants me to go over to him.

He knows how to read me like that too, it's just because of how long we've played together and been friends. It's not a big deal -it's not like we're checking each other out.

How do I explain that?"

Slowly, I say "...we're talking?" but that doesn't even explain half of it.

"That's cool, still jealous." Seeming to understand without further prompting, Jasper admits this with a slight pout still on his lips. "But it is cool that you guys can do that. Blaine and Damien can do that, too -read each other's body language enough to have an entire conversation."

I just shrug, "I guess it's just something that happens when someone around you doesn't talk a lot."

"Fly used to be quiet?" Jasper looks taken aback and honestly, I don't blame him. "I didn't know that was possible. N-not to be rude! Just, um, observational?"

"Yeah no, that's definitely impossible." I scoff, but have to pause for a second because of my confusion. "Jasper -do you think I'm a loud person."

He blinks at me for a second before slowly saying, "Yeah? Like uh...like Circe is."

Oh no.

My flirting when we met tricked him.

"Jitterbug," I cup his face. "You're the only person I really talk to. It's rare for me to- -rare, rare, rare- -do anything but text someone else. Let alone carry on conversations. Why do you think it's hard for me to talk to your family sometimes?"

Jasper, obviously surprised by this, takes a moment to reply. "I thought it was because you're anxious."

"Nah, I just hate everyone and don't like talking." Instantly at this, I see his face fall. "I like talking to you though! Flirting with you too. Otherwise I wouldn't do it."

His minty eyes flash up to mine as a small, smug smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "That means you didn't even talk to Fly and you've known him for years."

"Yeah, since fifth grade."

And Jasper was right.

During that entire time, Flynn Jacus wasn't quiet.

Idiot.

"Woah, that's nine years!" He gasps, hands tightening on me. "I want to know you that long!"

"Dork." I squish his cheeks. "You're going to know me for even longer than that." This alone makes him smile. "But yeah, it's a long time. I remember when I was taller than him. Didn't last."

"I'm taller than you too," He teases me, smiling widely. "Shortie."

"Giant." I retaliate, eyes narrowing. "You really want to go there?"

"Sure," His thumbs run along my hips as he leans into me. "It'll give me another reason to bite you."

Trying to control how flustered I'm getting, I smirk in reply. "Tempting."

And it really, truly, is.

Something Jasper clearly knew too because in a single swift movement he pulls me onto his lap and places an open mouth kiss to my neck. As my waist arches into his chest, he pulls my shirt down more, teasing me for a few moments for he actually bites me.

It's definitely a little painful, but the pleasure over rides it by far.

His warm tongue traces the bite mark, soothing over the sting before he kisses my neck again.

"Very tempting." Jasper breathes out, pecking the mark.

I thread my fingers through his hair, angling his face up to mine as my smirk grows. "You haven't even proven your point yet."

Jasper hums, "I haven't? What a shame."

With that, he's back to kissing me, teeth shamelessly digging into my skin only for his soft lips to make shivers run down my spine.

He trails along my jaw, arms pulling me closer as his lips finally meet mine.

Without warning, loud knocking sounds out which makes Jasper jump.

"You two better not be sinning in there," Axel fucking D'Silvetta's annoying voice rings out. "We have a game to play!"

I know a game me and him can play.

It's called Murder.

"By the bible's standards, we're already sinning by existing, by yours we aren't, because you have no standards."

Um, actually, the bible and God doesn't care, it's the way modern Christians interpret it that's the problem.

But that's an argument for another day.

"Ouch, Cutie, ouch." Just by the sound of his voice, I can tell he let himself in and was annoyingly right when he prances into the room and makes a very suggestive face at the way we're sitting. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Yes," Jasper says, voice a little annoyed as. "I was proving a point."

"And that point is...?"

"Left unfinished because of you." I deadpan, glaring at the idiot as he grins at me.

And I really, really wanted him to make that point.

Fuck.

"Tragic." Axel replies sarcastically, having the audacity to wink at my boyfriend. "Come on, we're playing volleyball and it's really warm out. No shirts to get tan and because you look better naked, Cutie."

"Fuck off, you have no idea what I look like naked, stupid."

That's good.

I thought for a moment there I had to actually kill him.

"One can imagine." With the way he sighs, face pointed up at the ceiling, I'm tempted to kill him just because I can.