"Sweetheart..."

"Mmmmmnngh"

Arthur chuckles, his fingers tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, you never were a morning person. "Y/N, sweetheart. It's morning."

"Mmmmngh......No.....too early." You pout and try to pull the blanket further over yourself.

Although you were a nightmare to take on hunting trips because of your aversions to early starts, Arthur loved when he saw you like this. Your hair, softly tousled, your eyebrows set in a soft frown, and your lips pouting and oh so kissable. He can't resist as he leans down and steals a kiss, your lips chasing his as he straightens.

Photo credit: Instagram sadiexarthur

"If ya want more, you'll have to get up."

You blink your eyes open, the offer of morning kisses outweighing your desire to sleep, but Arthur is fully dressed and smiling down at you, his back, and hips already laden with weapons. Shit. It was that morning.

"We're riding out soon, they're just finishing up with the horses and then we go."

You nod and quickly rush to get dressed, feeling the familiar knot in your stomach that only comes when Arthur is about to ride out on a job. You hated mission days because you knew you were in for a day of worry, glancing at your fingers nails you sigh, knowing they'd be chewed to shit by the time he got back.

Following Arthur outside you see the camp is buzzing with energy. Susan, being her usual self, is barking orders at the girls. Their frowns indicate that she may have been particularly demanding this morning. You bite your lip holding in the smile as this is confirmed when Susan turns her back and Karen offers her a particularly rude hand gesture. John, and Charles, are finishing up with the horses, as Dutch and the rest of the men gather to finalize the details of Arthur's plan.

Arthur had been meticulous about the plan, leaving no room for error, he wanted Colm and his men dealt with swiftly and quietly. Removing any threats to your safety was always his number one priority, his second was giving you the life you wanted, the life he now wanted too.

"Sweetheart, I gotta go check they're ready. I'll be back to say goodbye." He kisses your knuckles and heads over to the group. The knot in your stomach didn't let up as you watched him walk away.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't tell him?" Abigail crosses her arms as she steps beside you.

'Not this again, you think to yourself. "No, Abigail, I ain't saying anything unless I'm sure."

She drops her arms, "So you agree, you think you could be? If that's the case Y/N you have to tell him, and you better do it soon. He's about to ride out and kill a man, the least you can do is tell him he could be a Father! What if he gets hurt?"

You spin and face her, tears threatening to spill. "That is exactly why I can't tell him! His mind needs to stay focused, and besides..." your voice becoming small and quiet "...What if he doesn't want me anymore?"

Her face softens, as she draws you into a tight hug. You hoped you weren't pregnant, but you were quickly realizing there was a strong possibility that you were, and with that came the very real fear of telling Arthur. He was great with Jack, taking him fishing, playing with him, and sometimes even stepping in when John failed but you'd once heard him say, 'This is no life for children.' Confirming for you that he never planned on aiding bringing a child into this world.

"Oh Y/N you know that's not true." She tries to soothe you, stroking your hair. "Lord knows that man can't live without you, he's smitten. And need I remind you, that the man he's going to kill, he's going because of what he did to you. I've never seen him like this, he adores you."

Nodding your head, you wipe away the tears quickly, you didn't want Arthur to see you like this before he rode out. Giving you one last quick hug, Abigail tucks her arm in yours and leads you over to the men. You both watch as they each begin to mount up, all of them laden with enough weapons to arm a small army. John walks over, stealing Abigail away for a quick goodbye, leaving you to wait patiently for Arthur as he finishes tightening his saddle.

"Is it time?" you ask sadly as he takes your hand in his.

"I'll be back before nightfall; you won't even know I'm gone."

You highly doubted that but chose to keep quiet as he kisses you goodbye, his stubble tickling your chin as he deepens the kiss. His hand threads into your hair as his tongue pressed into your mouth. Arthur was never very good with words when it came to telling you how he felt, but he was always able to pour so much emotion into a kiss. His kisses were like beautifully written poems that he only gave to you, each caress of his lips a new line telling you exactly what he wanted you to know. This kiss was no different, his emotions were laid out as his molds beautifully against yours. All too quickly he pulls away, leaving you breathless and wanting more.

"I love you Y/N."

"I love you too Arthur." The words felt like a long goodbye and you hated it.

Quickly mounting his horse, he spurs her on as the others fall in line to follow. You watch as they ride away, getting smaller and smaller in the distance until they no longer resemble men, just ever-growing smaller dots.

It was lunchtime before you found the ability to focus long enough on a task without thinking of Arthur. As you chop the carrots you tried to concentrate on Pearson's story, using him to distract you from your thoughts.

"-then I said to her, Lady, I know you can't resist me, but I can't be with you." He drones on as you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. His stories usually involved some tale of how he was irresistible to women and this was different. He was recounting some (embellished) tale of a woman he'd met at a port in St Denis while he was in the Navy and you nodded along as he continued, not sparing any details.

"M-Miss Y/N, may I speak to you?"

You almost nick your finger as you see Keiron standing before you, his arms wrapped around himself as he nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He always kept his head bowed when talking to anyone in the gang and he often reminded you of a dog that had done something it knows it shouldn't have.

"Get lost O'Driscoll, you know you ain't supposed to go talk to her," Pearson warns. Arthur had forbidden Keiron from coming within five feet of you, he still didn't fully trust that he wasn't working for Colm. Even though you'd tried to convince him he insisted on the rule, and apparently, he'd ensured everyone was going to enforce it.

"It's okay Mr. Pearson. Keiron just wants to talk, he's not gonna hurt me."

Keiron shakes his head quickly as you lead him away and over to where the horses graze. You could feel eyes on you as the gang saw you alone with Keiron, no doubt Arthur would hear about this from them the minute he got back.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?"

Keiron looks as white as a sheet as he shuffles his feet on the ground, staring at them like they were the most interesting thing in the world. His nervousness what catching, and you began to fear that maybe you had trusted him to quickly, maybe he was going to tell you that Arthur and the men were riding into a trap.

"Miss I-.... I just..."

"Jesus man, spit it out."

"I'm sorry Miss. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, for everything."

You drop your shoulders as you instantly relax. Of course, Keiron wasn't working for Colm, the man didn't have the balls for one, and you'd seen the state of his face when he'd arrived, the bruises and swelling still looking painful.

"Keiron it wasn't your fault. You- "

"Didn't do anything." He meets your eyes looking sad and much younger than his years. "I didn't do anything to help you, Miss. I was just as bad as them."

"No Kei-."

"Don't try to defend me, please."

He was a martyr to his cause, and you knew you weren't going to be able to convince him otherwise so simply nodded and left it a that. You didn't understand how someone like Keiron could end up in a gang with the likes of Colm, so curiosity got the better of you. "How'd you even end up in the gang?"

I'd been running with the O'Driscolls for two years, but I wasn't by choice. My dad ran with them most of his life, but I didn't want to, two years ago my mum died, and he said if I wanted to prove I was a man I'd join him. I didn't have anywhere to go so I did. Colm didn't like me very much and said I was dead weight, but my Dad insisted I stay. He was killed on a train robbery 6 months later and so I stayed because then I really did have nowhere, and only they treat me like a slave."

"Why didn't you leave then?"

He shrugged, shuffling again on his feet. "Colm said I'd seen too much and that I had to stay so they could keep an eye on me. He said they'd gut me like a pig if I ever left."

As you looked at the man before you, you realized he was as much a victim of Colm as you were. He reminded you of yourself, you'd joined a gang through no reason but a necessity when you'd been left with no one and as you thought of Dutch you wondered how long it would be before the Van Der Linde gang began to resemble the O'Drisolls.

"Colm saw you when you were in Blackwater, he knew you were with Arthur, but he became obsessed with you, he told everyone that you were going to be his. He's been tracking you since then, and when he saw you all flee North from that boat, he knew it was his chance."

Your blood began to run cold. The thought of Colm watching you from afar felt so violating, the fact that you had no idea this whole time was even worse. They must have known Arthur wasn't with you that day, no one was stupid enough to take on Arthur Morgan like that, he was known across 3 states for being deadly with or without a gun. Your stomach churns uncomfortably as you realize they'd been watching you the whole time, just waiting for an opportunity.

"You okay Miss? You're looking a little green again, you ain't still sick like back with the O'Driscolls are you?"

Your hand ghosts over your stomach, but you quickly move it away. Shaking your head, you offer him a weak smile, Keiron was sweet and you knew his lack of help has been bred out of his own fear.

You'd made the decision then and there. You were getting Keiron out of this life too, you were going to give him a chance at a life he deserved.

"Thank you for your apology, but I want you to know I don't hold any bad feelings towards you. I can see you're not like them, and I would love for you to stay with us." You left out the part where 'us' only meant Abigail, Jack, John, Arthur, and yourself.

"Thank you, Miss, but I don't think Mr. Morgan will let that happen. He doesn't like me very much."

You smile knocking his shoulder playfully. "You let me worry about Mr. Morgan."