***

Rowan drove me to my car, only after the cold had become too much for either of us to handle. The heat was on full blast, so I'd taken off his hoodie and was in the process of folding it when we'd reached my car.

He slowly pulled over and parked before turning to me with a beguiling smile.

"What are your plans for this week?" He asked. His eyes were magnetic, and I wondered why the more time I spent with him, the more they seemed to entrance me.

"Um, just class, and I have to tutor tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday."

"I didn't know you were a tutor," it seemed like a tease, his eyes sparkled.

"I didn't mention it?" I answered warily, and his smile widened as he shook his head.

"That's pretty fitting for you."

"Is it?" I asked, my interest piqued, "how so?"

Rowan looked me over once, before shrugging,

"It just kind of works." My mouth dropped open, and I stared at him in fake offense.

"Are you implying that I'm a geek?"

"No, of course not." Rowan said reassuringly before adding, "I get more of a dorky vibe from you."

"Dorky?!" Rowan covered his laugh behind his hand as I adjusted to face him better. "How do I look dorky?!"

"I didn't say you looked dorky. It's your personality, overall vibe." I continued to stare at him, feeling my face heat as his eyes lowered down at my chest with joy. "But that sweater isn't helping."

"Oh my god."

Rowan's laugh returned even louder, and I couldn't help but smile too after a minute.

"Come here," Rowan placed his hand behind my head and pulled me to him before he kissed me softly. "You and your sweater look amazing," he said after pulling away.

My face instantly flushed but I smiled anyway wanting to compliment him back, but he continued speaking.

"Well, what time does your tutoring usually end?"

I cleared my throat, still flustered. I didn't know if I could ever get used to being kissed by him.

"Uh, usually around five-thirty, but when they have exams I can be there up until the library closes."

"Do they have an exam coming up?"

"No, not for a while."

"So would you want to come to my game on Friday? It's at seven. We could do something after."

I smiled involuntarily again because Rowan had never personally invited me to one of his games before. I felt comforted by the knowledge that, yes, Rowan did want to continue seeing me, and this didn't feel like some one-way crush that would amount to nothing anymore.

"Yeah, I'll come," I said, trying to hide my smile, but based on his I didn't think I was succeeding. "What would you want to do after?"

"There are parties, or we could get food and watch a movie at my place if you want. You're welcome to stay the night again, too. If you're fine with Shea harassing you again."

I laughed, looking down at my hands before nodding.

"That sounds good. I'll be there."

I glanced back up at Rowan, but his expression had hardened, and his steely-cold gaze was set on something behind me.

I turned and jumped slightly in my seat when I saw someone walking towards my window. It was a police officer, his hands on his belt, while a patrol car was parked across the street with its lights off.

"Fuck... leave this to me..." Rowan said, his tone was low, furious. My heart beat quickly like we'd been caught doing something wrong. The officer knocked on my window, and Rowan rolled it down.

The officer put his arm on the roof of the car as he leaned to the level of the window. His hair was grey and slicked back though it didn't look neat. His icy blue eyes reminded me of... who?

"It's been a while, Williams." Though his face was serious, his tone was light, and my eyes lowered to where his left hand rested on his belt, his index finger methodically tapping dangerously close to the gun that sat in its holster.

"That's a good thing, no?" Rowan said, his voice was calm, slow, and I tore my eyes away from the gun.

"Sure, it means you're staying out of trouble." The officer diverted his gaze to me, "and I don't think I've met you, son. You go to Creighton too, then?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but Rowan spoke up quickly.

"Chief, did we do something? Or can we go home?"

Chief...

My eyes glanced towards his badge, which was a gold, circular star shape with eight points, reading Omaha Police Deputy Chief. On his right side, sown into the uniform was the name, A. Anderson.

Oh.

I looked back up at him. He'd raised his eyebrows at Rowan for a few seconds before he turned back to me. His eyes scanned my features, narrowing before he spoke again.

"Nope, just saying hello."

"Alright. Hello, then." Rowan answered, and I held my breath.

The tension in the air was so strong that I half-expected to hear get out of the vehicle next, but the chief chuckled instead.

"I'll see you, Williams." He tapped the hood, taking a step back and looking back down at me, "nice meeting you, what was your name?"

"Uh, Evan," I mumbled, my voice lowered with discomfort.

"Nice meeting you, Evan."

He turned back around, and Rowan rolled up the window.

"Fucking dick." He said as the chief got in his patrol car.

"That's... your coach's brother, right?"

"Yup," his eyes stayed on the patrol car until it finally drove away, taking a turn at a light up ahead and disappearing. "Sorry about that."

"Why is he on patrol if he's the chief?" I asked, looking towards where he'd disappeared.

"That's a great question."

***

"So when is Lucy coming back to town?" My mom asked politely.

My cheek was resting against my palm, and I stared down at the dinner plate below me. My eyes were threatening to close from the long day of school and tutoring, but mostly due to having spent most of the night before trying to research everything I could about the Omaha police department and their leader.

"We'd love to catch up with her parents, maybe we'll invite her family over? Isn't Jude in high school now?"

I tried to suppress a laugh at the thought of Jude wanting to come to a dinner party filled with political and philosophical talks.

Though they had a great relationship, Jude despised most things her sister liked. In fact, maybe the only thing they had in common was their love for their friends. She wasn't dumb by any means. She just found more joy in other things, like swimming and electronic music.

"She's coming next week, I can ask about dinner if you want. And Jude's a sophomore."

My mom beamed and clasped her hands together.

"That's wonderful, please do let me know."

I bit the inside of my cheek, my stomach turning in guilt. I was excited to see my friends of course. But Lucy and I used to share everything. We used to know everything about each other. But I didn't know how to tell her what my life was like now.

How would I even begin to explain? Let alone to Madison and Alex? Sure, she could've seen me with Sam at that party over the summer... but that didn't seem like anything anymore.

My parents didn't even know anything.

I looked up from my plate, my dad held the same newspaper he'd had that morning, trying to figure out the last few answers on the crossword puzzle. I wondered what his reaction would be if I said it. If I told him I was...

Yeah, you're gay just accept it.

I leaned back in my chair as my mother took her empty plate to the sink. She was humming happily to herself, most likely planning the dinner with Lucy's family in her head.

You could tell them.

I wondered how she'd react. Her own sister was blatantly homophobic, was it due to their upbringing? Did she deep down agree with her sister's decision to send her son away to be "fixed?"

You should tell them, get their reactions over with.

"Hey, guys..."

My parents looked to me, my dad's eyes glancing above the top of the paper, waiting.

What are you doing?!

"Uh..." my voice faltered as I watched their curious, light expressions. "Well, I'm..."

I'm gay. It's only two words.

I felt my face heat as they watched me and I remained silent. The words wouldn't come out, and the silence seemed to make the time go by excruciatingly slow.

"Yes, honey?"

My eyes snapped to my mother, who was leaning against the counter with a slightly concerned expression.

"I'm tired," I exhaled and felt disappointment rush through me almost instantly as the guilt grew in my stomach.

It could've been over with.

My mom's expression turned into a confused smile,

"Well feel free to go to sleep, Ev."

***

I'm outside. I can tell because of the light breeze that comes from the darkness around me. Shouldn't I be able to see something? I squint, trying to focus on my surroundings. But there's nothing.

I turn, and jump in surprise, covering my hand with my heart.

"Shit, you scared me," I say.

It's Rowan, his gaze is on me, but he's frowning and doesn't seem to acknowledge the fact that I've spoken at all. His chiseled jawline, dark hair, and sharp eyes look as real as ever. I'm not used to being on the other side of this look, he seems... unimpressed.

There's a dark blue glow surrounding his figure. I try stepping towards him, but immediately collide with something solid, clear, and am forced to recoil back.

What the fuck?

"Rowan?"

I reach my hands out, feeling the partition between us. It's almost invisible. How far does it go? I look to my sides, noticing that the darkness only continues around me. It's pitch black, unsettling.

My heart rate quickens. Why are we separated? I look back at Rowan, his expression doesn't change, though his eyes look me over, indifference painted across his face.

I get an uneasy feeling... what's going on?

There's a shadow behind him, distorting his dark blue glow until it comes closer. She's holding a paintbrush, it's thick, and dripping with black paint. Rosie's long, beautiful hair is as dark as the night and sways as she turns to look at her son, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What do you think?"

Rowan's brows draw together as he continues to examine me with distaste.

"It's kind of boring, no? Compared to your other works."

Other works?

Rosie frowns, her fingers tightening on his shoulder before she releases him, and takes a few steps forward.

"Well, what would you have me change?"

Rowan crosses his arms,

"All of it."

Rosie's hair whips around dramatically in the wind. It's stronger on their side, but they both seem calm. She walks closer to me, approaching the clear partition, and raises her arm, sweeping the paintbrush across the clear barrier. A thick black line trails the brush.

"Well," Rowan says, and his mother turns. "Can't you use a different color?"

She shakes her head and resumes painting the partition black.

"No, that just won't work."

Rowan doesn't answer her and instead watches the paint quickly cover the surface. It crawls out from where she starts, expanding in both directions into infinite distances.

"Wait..." I say, "what are you doing?" It's futile. Either they can't hear me or are choosing to ignore me.

The paint is spreading so quickly that I'm starting to lose sight of Rowan. I look behind me in panic, the darkness there is starting to match what was in front of me. When I turn back around, Rosie finishes her last brushstroke, filling my view with black.

My heart pounds, as I look around. It's pointless, I could've seen just as much with my eyes closed.

Rosie's soft voice echoes through the air, but now it sounds like it's coming from every direction.

"Now he won't be able to see a thing."

***