Please listen to this song above while reading.

Enjoy!

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If someone would have told me I wouldn't be excited for the trip two days ago, I'd be laughing at them but if I see myself now it was the truth of my life.

After I somehow got home last night, Ethan called me asking where I went and me who had a complete mental breakdown in the bathroom a minute before, texted him back that I just didn't feel good.

I knew if I tried to speak he'd know something was wrong and even though I wanted to tell him about truth but it wasn't the time I wanted anyone near me.

That's the problem. My anxiety made me like this that whenever I feel like breaking down, I want no one near me.

Next evening even though they all decided to cancel this trip for me but I wasn't that heartless to ruin their fun so here I was sitting in the front passenger seat, Nate and Rachel in mid behind us while Leo and Gwen stuck at last, their choice not ours.

They all were mingled in some kind of discussion while this song was blasting in the car which I couldn't focus on as my mind wandered back to last night and my fist curled tight on my thigh. If only I had fought more, I'd have save it from being useless.

Tears burned behind my eyes and I felt my throat tightened but I shook it all as fast as I could.

I was so out of scene that I didn't notice Ethan's voice calling me out and his hand squeezing my thigh.

"Aria? You okay?" He looked between front and me.

"Y-yeah why?" I replied clearing out my throat realizing the whole car was silent by now.

"You've been so lost since we've started this drive. If you're not feeling well we can turn around and head back," Rachel suggested while munching on her chips. Ethan again glanced my way, his brows furrowed but I gave him a small smile of assurance and decline of heading back.

Whew...

"Just a little tired but no worries once we'll get to our destination, I'll be more than fine," I cheered up as the conversation continued behind me.

"So I was saying, chase Atlantic had a concert in Chicago last week and it was so damn good, sadly I couldn't go," Leo's blithe voice spread like colors as he snatched the the packet of chips from Rachel making her pout.

"Oh really they're Aria's favorites, aren't they?" As Gwen asked to confirm her assumption. I turned back slightly, unaware of their conversation.

"Huh yeah," I trailed off not sure what even she asked. Soon we reached our place but I didn't miss Ethan's curious eyes cut to mine as we all stepped out of the car to this private vacation house of Leo's.

My heart skipped a beat to just think about what I'd answer If he ever asked about the proof.

Would he believe me or would he go away from me like before?

All I knew was the creeps under my skin had started eating my bones once again. The fear crawling in my head was increasing second by second.

But I knew my mood would ruin everything so I put this weird feeling aside. It was just for one night though and I could do that for them.

I couldn't ruin my today because of tomorrow.

As my eyes fell upon this double story house in the middle of the woods, I couldn't help but adore it's beauty. It was beautiful inside out. The exterior was all wooden with stoney pathway. The silence around was peaceful and fresh air made me smile.

Leo did plan correct place to chill.

It had three rooms, as Leo told us. One was upstairs and two were on ground floor with a small lounge on right and kitchen facing it on left with a back door facing this fascinating lake.

Everyone walked in, placed their luggage and soon stepped out the back door to the lake after choosing rooms but I was stopped by a hand on my elbow.

"Listen Aria, You're not okay, I can sense something is definitely not right," Ethan pulled me close, scrutinizing me closely. The close proximity made me anxious.

"Just tell me whatever it is please,".Je cupped my cheeks making my heart skip all of it's beats.

I wasn't scared of that he'd read me because I knew he would but the fear of he wouldn't believe made my stomach churn so I just twisted my words and asked.

"Do you trust me Ethan?"

"What- of course I do, is it all about that?" With serious expression, he replied to which I just nodded.

I opened my mouth to tell him more but before we could discuss further a shriek came out outside.

"Let's get it guys!" An ardent voice spread in air with a splash came after as me and Ethan shared an amused glance before hurriedly stepped out the back door just to see a pair of clothes scattered on the dead lawn and further from there was Leo in the middle of lake grinning at us.

Impatient boy.

"Oh my God, I think I just saw the head of crocodile there!" Nate covered his mouth with his hands all bug-eyed. Gwen who had a smile on her face took two steps further with haunted eyes as Leo eyes widened and he started to swam back.

"Oh there it is!" Rachel shrieked pointing behind Leo playing all along Nate as Gwen took two more steps further to pull Leo out. Damn these two love birds cared so much.

Ethan took my hand grinning as we walked to them. Leo took the shirt from ground and wore it.

"There are no crocodiles in lake Leo, they're just teasing you," I leaned in against Ethan's side who nodded.

"Didn't know you're such a baby Leo," Rachel amused shaking her head in disbelief.."Look at us, do we look scared?"

By us she meant girls...

All the boys shared a look but before I could process what's happening I gasped as Ethan pulled me from ground. His arms tucked under my neck and other under knee pits and Nate did the same with Rachel and of course Leo followed along.

"Put me down!" I demanded but Ethan, Nate and Leo just grinned.

Soon we all were freaking freezing in the lake, clothes clutching to our bodies, giggling loud on something with shattering teeth.

"I-m nev-er trust-ing boys again," Gwen shivered before Leo splashed more water on her.

"You are so dead today!".Gwen screamed wiping off water from her eyes before started wading after him.

"Let's change before we all catch cold," Nate adviced pushing his hair back from his face as we all went out of the lake, changed in some warm dry clothes before came out to see a bonfire set up and B.B.Q grill on the left.

Must be done by the boys who came out before us.

The sun was already drowned, spreading the darkness so the dim festoon lights were illuminating the whole lake and the cracking of burning fire soothed my soul.

Deep breathe in, breathe out.

Later we ate, we talked, we laughed on Leo's lame but funny dad jokes and we drank but I didn't drink that much comparing to Rachel and Nate.

Even Nate tried to stop her but according to her she was a footloose.

I didn't know she'd be a drunkard but no judgment until and unless she'd be handling it and causing no issues to herself and others, it was okay.

Watching her tipsy self and Nate all shy smile together gave me a little hope for them.

Nate chuckled when she hiccupped out loud. Taking her hand, they stood up and leave to sit by lake. I didn't miss the moment they leaned in and shared their first kiss. I felt truly happy for Rachel but I hope it was a sober one.

Gwen and Leo also went to full their empty stomachs again.

The sound of silence never seemed more beautiful than before. Silence had always haunted me but now it was accompanied by our mingled jubilant heartbeats.

"Did you enjoy? It's been a long time we had so much fun," Ethan's chest heaved against my back as my back was resting on it and I was in the middle of his legs against the small square haystack on the ground with a warmth radiating this burning wood.

"I did a lot, in fact I never had this much fun in such a long time and these people who I love the most have biggest smiles on their faces after so long so why wouldn't I be happy?...I feel relaxed," I sighed before placed my palms over Ethan's and intertwined our fingers.

He snuggled his nose in my hair before placed a kissed on my head.

"My hands are so small than yours," Ethan threw his head back laughing out loud before looking over my shoulder to my pouted lips.

"That was sudden but they're small so I can scooped you up in my arms easily," His candid voice brushed my neck and he engulfed me tight in his arms.

I wished this moment last forever.

"When you left New York, where did you go? and all this time what have you been doing there?" I softly questioned fidgeting with his fingers.

He sighed and I knew he was preparing himself to tell.

"When I realized out what had happened, I lost it Aria. I was a complete mess and without even thinking about anything, without doing anything I just left for Paris like a coward," His painful voice pierced though my skin. "After some time there, I met this guy Noah at a bar and then he was the only one I knew there beside Mr. Kim."

My eyes were to stuck to this beautiful fire but the fire I felt by his words bruised my heart.

"Life is always unfair to most of the people Ethan. When you left me alone I was shattered into millions pieces. You should've just talked to me," I said in low hoarse voice. "I asked Aunt Jane about where you went and even people you used to hang out but when I didn't find anything, it was the scariest feeling."

"I know and I'm sorry for that. I know I should've given you a chance of explanation but like everyone, my demons took control of me and I lost my senses Aria. I sometimes had restless nights too," He breathed out heavily pressing a soft kiss on my neck.

Ethan was a light-hearted guy who would always be the life of the party but he also had more depth than maybe I’d given him credit for.

Watching him reveal the darkest nightmares of his was weirdly fascinating and alluring and it created an energy that pulled me into his orbit. The thing was, the more time I spent with him, the more I knew that even being on different sides of the world in our darkest times we both had struggled with the same nightmares.

Breaking his arms I turned around to his crystal melting orbs under red burning light before I'd realize we were under the spell of Euphoria of silence.

A fever of longing desire rushed to my cheeks and a helpless heat simmered in his eyes. We reduce the distance, his hot breathe hit my face before he placed his awaiting lips on mine.

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