《Scars Of Regret | COMPLETED✔️》CHAPTER 42
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I've heard a lot of stories. During the years that mom used to tuck me into bed before she brushed the hair out of my face and gently kiss my cheek goodnight, she told me some stories which weren't fairy tales where a knight in shining armour would come on his white horse to save his princess from all the torture and then happily ever after but were cruel, wild and real.
Those were none other than histories, memories...biographies.
It wasn't unusual for a parent to tell their child the truth, the reality of the world. My mom was different. She didn't raise me to be dependent and look for my prince charming but she created this bulletproof sheet around my heart by telling me how this world would play with it.
Love was stupid but now I'd make it crazy.
She prepared me beforehand cause she knew somewhere, at some point, I'd fall and it'd hurt like shit. Maybe she went through the same but even I was strong from inside and fearless, why it hurt like a hell and now a feel numbness?
Was it because mom thought it'd only hurt here in my heart but didn't think about my head which held every single memories in it.
It was hurting to breathe at this point. I couldn't remember how to shine in the light I was chasing then. The more I went behind it the more I fell for the night cause it provided me the comfort I was seeking in rays.
He stole me from myself.
It had been a week I came back home with Blake. Dad insisted to take a leave from school so I did. It had been so nice spending my time with Blake and not having to deal with the reality. He'd been very conscious about everything.
He didn't ask me about anything the first three days cause I was so stressed then when he asked me today I knew I had nowhere to jump and hide it anymore. Dad was home and it pained me to see him like that, worry written on his face because of me.
We came here for a walk in this park like we had been for past few days and to be honest I felt good and calm. He gave me this book to read which I was nearly done with.
It was almost dawn as I was sitting on the bench facing forward the cliff. The orange hues were molding into greys of blue as those nascent rays reached down. It was like an end game for them but only for today. No matter what, light would wake up again with another shade of aspirations.
"So how's it? I hope it's not that boring. I read that last year when I felt low and like a failure in one of my cases. It helped me in many ways," He said pointing at the book on my lap before leaned back. "So you wanna share your truth?"
Truth, not the story.
He didn't use the word story cause he very well knew that stories meant fiction and my life was beyond than that. I took a deep breathe and closed my book then placed it beside me on the bench.
"Have you ever lost a friend Blake?" I asked. Leaning back I rested my back against the bench before wrapped my coat around as it was getting dark and the cold breeze was making me shiver.
"Yeah I have. We're agents just like police officers. We sleep in the field of mines everyday wee-one. I did lose so many close friends in the past years who were more like a family and it hurts to not see them with us anymore," Sorrow grew on his face as he stared straight.
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"Did you ever feel helpless?" I questioned again looking at him. His eyes were soft as he pulled himself up and took my freezing hands in his warm ones and blinked nodding.
"Have you ever got blamed for something you didn't do? cause all this time I've been breathing with this burden on my back Blake. What'd you do if you couldn't find your way out of this dark maze you got lost in? No way to help yourself?"
"I know what you mean Aria. I can't read what's inside you but there's always a way for every issue. If you can't see it, can't find it then it doesn't mean that you're a failure or not working enough. Maybe it isn't the perfect time for it to reveal itself to you. You've to keep looking for it. If you couldn't find it in the light, try searching in dark then. You know what I mean wee-one."
I knew.
He was referring to take a different route. One no one thought of but Max had burnt the card and it was the only thing I had. I squinted my eyes to think of something I still could do.
Max was sharp. His words still rebound inside my head from that day. Whoever was behind this all was way ahead of us. He planned everything so clean.
'Have you ever felt betrayed in love' I wanted ask but I didn't.
"I've tried my best Blake. Beth was my best friend and her killer is living freely in front of my eyes. I see him everyday in school flirting and harassing another girl and it boil my blood. Not only that he framed me for my own best friends murder in a way I don't know what to do now." Explaining him, I ran my hand through my hands, grazing it with the bandage on my forehead.
"Every criminal leaves some kind of evidence Aria. I believe you but I can't do anything till we have something against him. There must be something, a clue he must've left behind him-
"He did but-
A soft sound of phone ringing environed in the air breaking me off in the middle as Blake took it out from his coat and held it's forefinger to me before stood up and walked to the iron railing talking to someone with very serious expression taking over his face.
Must be from FBI headquarters.
Even he's on his vacation, he wasn't free.
The post lamp was blinking over my heads with cityscape being the art of night. This city had long been our home, the setting of every memory we treasure.
I sighed as I eyed his back suspiciously. Was it Sasha? I heard him talking to me when I wasn't conscious that he found his second half but I just remember in fragments then some days ago he told me about her.
From him she sounded sweet. I was sure Blake and Sasha would be perfect for each other though we hadn't met till then but you know when from just aura or how someone's sweet description of that person, you could actually guess their charm. I loved how bold she was otherwise I had no idea what'd have happened to Blake and his love life if it wasn't her.
Blake paced as his brows furrowed
before his exclaimed cheerfully. After some seconds he cut the call and came back to me.
"Congratulations?" I said confusingly more like a question.
"What?"
"Sasha is pregnant with your baby isn't she? you seem happy. Well I won't judge her being pregnant so soon." I shrugged amusedly.
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"God wee-one she isn't pregnant!" He chortled loudly before ruffled my hair as he sat back beside me with a grin and stars in his eyes. He didn't mind me saying that.
"Then what it is? You seems like you win a lottery or something?" I put my right shoulder against the backrest and turned to him raising my eyebrows.
"Well there's a good news but not the one you are thinking. It's about a case I got assigned for two months ago," He said before continued. "A murder of an old lady happened back in Toronto two months ago. There were no cameras in her house or around the alley cause the area is poorly known. It's a small resident area and no one saw anything even in the daylight but the headman of that area had a car which had a black box and I'm sure it captured everything cause it was parked just outside that lady's chalet apartment."
I furrowed my brows as I paid attention fully to his words. "So the killer get arrested?"
"No Aria, the car which had the black box blasted somehow which is suspicious but in result damaged the black box in it," He shook his head wistfully.
"I don't understand, than what are you happy for?"
"We have been looking for someone quite for some time who can restore it's footage cause it was badly burnt and one minor mistake would have lead to nothing but finally our team found someone here in New York City. He's a Chinese agent who finally agreed to do it. That's why they send me back here."
Just as he said I sat up straight. So that was what he was so busy in that we hadn't got a chance to talk. He wasn't here for vacation but what caught my attention was that this thought never crossed my mind.
He didn't know I had an evidence. I didn't tell him yet.
The fact that it'd be hard for me to find someone who'd restore file from a burnt device but I remembered that max dropped the SD card before it could get fully burnt so surely it wouldn't be that difficult to recover the video.
Oh my God!
I still had it in my drawer.
There was no one who could do that but if I would ask Blake, being a FBI agent, I knew how much he hated criminals so he'd definitely help me. It's not that I was asking for some science project but a murder of a person. It was about the only evidence.
I wasn't afraid. Not before not now. I was searching for that one chance I was seeing now in clearing moon dust. Piercing through the darkness, lambency was settling in.
Breaking my trance I turned to Blake with my last hope as I asked. "Blake....can I ask you a favor?"
°°°°°°
Coming back home, I came straight in my room as I stepped in my walk in closet and took out a sweat pants and a black shirt from my closet before stepped into the bathroom.
I didn't have much appetite since past few days cause everytime I had threw up and it wasn't pleasant.
Instead of a peaceful warm shower, I sat in hot water bubble tub and leaned back against it. It felt like I was going forward in achieving something I've been trying for so long but I myself was lost behind.
Maybe my fate wanted me there.
My muscles felt relax from the ache. I rubbed the soap along my hands with a faint, transient, wistful smile appeared on my brooding face as I was thinking about him. About our deep but intoxicated love.
Everything since day one was me daydreaming about us. He made sure that with every touch. We never were us. It was always me against every single hurdle.
'It was all a game Aria.' sure it was.
I rubbed soap leather along my neck to remove his sweet touch than ran the loofa over my smooth shaved legs.
I rubbed till my skin was red and itchy.
'I will break you after taking you high.' sure you did.
My eyes weren't wet. They were hard, dry stones, making me looking crazy in love. He played his game thinking it'd be my closure from him but would it count a fair game when one was unaware of?
No.
Coming out of the tub I wrapped the towel around my body before walked out of the bathroom and dressed in my sweats than sat on my bed. The room was dark with only beam of my lamp placed on my side table. Opening my drawer under it I took out the black burnt SD card and stared it with tilted head.
Smirking I thought how this little piece of plastic was the key of my innocence. Placing it back I didn't close the drawer before I put something else in it.
Unhooking my locket around my neck I placed in my palm before stared at it with amusement. A piece of sin he did when he gave me.
"You think you won the game honey but I wasn't a part of it so it wasn't fair of you," Putting it inside I locked the drawer. "This time we'll play fair baby."
Even it was just beside me, It felt like I put it on the farthest shelf of my heart.
"It's my time to make you regret everything Mr. Ethan Anderson.
I'll make you have the taste of your own medicine. Day must be yours but I know how to control the night. It'll be the longest night of your life soon when you'll regret every single second of your existence."
My fate had always been very interesting but I never backed off from it. I hoped the long hours of this night would help me sort out somethings I had planned for. My mind wouldn’t stop hanging on everything Ethan did and said to me. It was everything, and so much more.
These past days I only heard screams of my own heart beat ringing in my ear which I couldn't block. Dad requested a therapist Blake knew back in Canada but I had some errands to run before it.
"I was upset, broken cause your love made me crazy in itself than I got tired of this shit but now.....now I'm nothing but exhausted," I whispered as I bend and eyed the frame of me and Ethan set on my side table. "I'll break you just like you broke me sweetly. You will beg me down on your knees and accept your regrets Ethan Anderson. I'll make sure of that."
With that I took a deep breathe and popped sleeping pills in my mouth. Never knew someday I'd depend on them again.
No one knew about me taking them.
Turning off the lamp I pulled the duvet till my chin then didn't remember when I fell in deep slumber.
°°°°°°
It was 4:40 AM.
Caressing her head with his finger and eyeing the bandage on her forehead, the tall figure placed a soft kiss on it before held her palms open slowly, not to wake her up. Putting something in it, he bit his lip to not let out a sound as he stood up when she stirred a little.
He took a step backward and again not taking his eyes off her till he reach the window as his silhouette spread under moon lit night. Wearing his baseball cap he pulled the hoodie over his head and mask to cover his face before he opened the window.
Under the gush of soundless breeze which was more like a whisper passed through the curtains, he was gone.
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