Devon

My wolf was calmer than he'd been in months now that Amber had let me mark her, although he was still a greedy aggressive monster who wanted to pursue her until she couldn't escape me any longer.

That side of me had always been problematic, but my human side had helped moderate it. I'd been fine until Amber's arrival in my life had thrown off my equilibrium.

Was I complaining? Hell no. Considering the disaster of her return to my life, things were going better than I would have dared to hope. I didn't deserve any of this, but now my beautiful little mate was marked as mine. No sane wolf would dare look at her twice now.

That thought really did please my wolf, which was good because he was pissed that we didn't follow her to her room. Instead I cleaned up the kitchen and stuck what was left of the pizza in the fridge. I kept myself busy as long as I was able, and only when I really couldn't occupy myself any longer did I bother her.

While she had been excited about the way we could speak into each other's minds, she had quickly become overwhelmed. I had seen her distress as much as I had felt it, so instead of just talking to her through the link as I might have with one of my pack members, I walked down the hall and knocked on her door. "Amber? You okay?"

For a minute I didn't think she'd answer, but then, "I'm fine. You can come in."

That was permission enough for me. I pushed open the door to the sparse little room. I was torn between annoyance that Sarah had dared to take the larger room than her future luna, and satisfaction that the small bed and unimpressive setup probably meant Amber never had any intentions of bringing anyone back here.

I was also a huge hypocrite, considering the way I had turned to Megan to try to cope. I wasn't even sure we would have gotten to the point where we would have had sex the night we'd been caught, but there was no point in protesting that considering there had been clear intent. No matter what we actually did, it didn't change that I'd tried to move on with Megan. I was stabbed with regret whenever I thought about it.

Sarah was right to be furious at me. The strange part was that Amber wasn't angrier.

Whenever I thought about Megan, I worried that I had destroyed her chance with her mate, someone she had been dreaming of since we were children. I didn't know how I'd face her if Dan rejected her after everything. They already had so many barriers between them—who'd ever heard of a werewolf bonded to a vampire?—and I'd only made it worse.

Maybe I should talk to him. I knew he had good reason to resent me, but...

That was something for later. For now, it was just me and Amber and there was something my wolf desperately wanted from her, something I hoped she would allow.

I wouldn't push her, but asking couldn't hurt, right?

"You sure you're alright?"

Amber was sitting on the middle of her bed, looking fragile. As I approached, she looked up at me and nodded. "I'm fine. You just feel so much... I don't know what to do with it."

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to let anything through." I'd thought my walls were up. Maybe she was extra sensitive because she was human and unaccustomed to that sort of connection.

She shrugged. "You were really happy."

"I am." I paused, and continued carefully, "There's one more thing I was hoping you would allow."

Her eyes widened nervously.

I didn't like her fear, but now that I had said that much, not asking wouldn't make things better so I just threw it out there. "My wolf wants to really meet you, and the simplest way is in my other form. I know the only other time you really saw him was when he took control and tried to mark you, so I couldn't risk letting him out near you before, but now..."

"Is your wolf like another person living in your head?"

"Not exactly, more like a separate set of wilder intentions that influence me."

She exhaled slowly. "Well, I guess you can let him out. If you think it's a good idea in my apartment."

"He will behave, or I'll take back control. We were usually more in sync, it's just lately I've been having more trouble. It should be better now." Guilt flowed out of her, and I regretted my words. "Don't worry, it's fine, and he'd never hurt you."

"Alright."

"You can watch if you want," I said.

She blushed, and nodded.

I stripped off my shirt, and I was surprised when she kept her eyes on my face. She was better now with making eye contact than she had been, but I could tell it was still a struggle.

While I pulled off my pants and underwear, her gaze didn't waver. She seemed to want to avoid looking lower even more than she wanted to avoid my eyes. Her shyness was too cute. I wondered what she would think if she did let her eyes wander. I worked hard, and it showed. I sensed her curiosity, but more embarrassment than anything else.

I would have to help her find a way to improve her control over the mind link soon, especially before she joined the pack, if she even wanted to someday. My bones and muscles shifted and stretched into new shapes. I watched her wide eyes as I changed into my wolf form. She'd seen our wolves, but watching an actual shift was something else. I hoped it hadn't scared her.

Soon I was solidly on my four paws, far larger than a normal wolf, a mass of fur covered muscle. I didn't want to frighten her so I padded over to her bed slowly, while keeping my head down and my posture relaxed to try to look nonthreatening. She was watching me warily, and I couldn't blame her after what I had done the last time she had seen my wolf form so close.

I let my wolf have the control he wanted, and his head hit the bed, and he looked at her pleading like a puppy begging for a treat.

"Is this your wolf? Your eyes are yellow now."

"Yes, my animal is in charge now."

"You don't look as scary this time."

"I couldn't hurt you even if I wanted to. I couldn't even want to. You're mine, right?"

She leaned forward and ran her hands behind my ears. "I guess I am yours? Is it weird that I'm petting you? This is weird, right?" She pulled her hand back.

"I like you touching me. You can do anything you want to me and I'd never complain, not my wolf or human side."

"Are you sure?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"I'm sure. I..." I stopped mid-sentence. Did I love her already? Maybe I did, but saying it already might pressure her into wanting to run again. "I'd do anything for you if it would make you happy. I want to make you forget the troubles of the past, and the mistakes I made against you, so you can only look forward."

"I want you to be happy, too," she said, and she lay down on her side on the bed, facing me, her hand still buried in my fur. It felt good, better than I could describe.

We stayed like that for a long time.