Ashley's POV

When you make the decision to marry someone you don't think how it would end. You feel loved and all you wanna do is share your life with that one person forever.

I kept staring at the divorce papers and kept asking myself how did I get here? This was not even remotely close to what I had thought life would be. Everything went downhill.

I always thought Aaron's presence would make me happy for the rest of my life and now I can't wait to get rid of him. I've confessed to everything, I've filled every complaint I could think of, I've given every thing the lawyers need to prosecute him. Not in million years did I think my marriage would end up with my husband going to jail.

I saw his signature, the same signature that made delighted when I saw it on our marriage license. I feel telling myself, this is real. This isn't some dream that I would wake up from. This is happening and it is all very real.

I signed the divorce papers. The last straw. For the rest of my life I'm going to have to live with these horrible memories and this agonizing pain that I feel. I stand up, pick up the paper and give it to my lawyer. I could tell he wanted to talk but I didn't, I've talked enough. I just want to be quiet now. I don't want to know what is going to happen, what'll be his future, where will he end up. I want to be numb to everything. This is where I resign from everything related to him.

I kept staring at the clock hoping it move faster. I don't know what I was wishing for but I just wanted time to either reverse back or move forward, way forward. I was prepared to deal with the situation ahead of me.

I couldn't stay alone in the room. Every time I closed my eyes, I had flashbacks from the past. Good, bad, memories just keep rushing through me.

I got up and went to David's room. I knew he would worry but I couldn't stay alone with my thoughts.

I knocked on his door and waited for him to open. He must be in deep sleep cause it took three knocks for him to open.

"Hey.." he whispered. He was still half asleep, he couldn't open his eyes completely. "Are you okay?"

"Um" in reality I just wanted to leave and talk to Liam about the situation but that was irrational at considering it was late night. "Can I just sleep in here with you? Would you keep an eye until I fall asleep?" I requested.

"Yeah" he held my hand and lead me inside his room. I lay on the right side of the bed. He laid next to me and pull me closer. I could feel his warm breath on my skin, that calm my nerves. His hands were tightly around me making me feel secure. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked tenderly. I did want to tell him but I was too lost to share anything. I shook my head slowly and he understood. He didn't say anything anymore. Just held me until I fell asleep.

I woke up but David wasn't next to me. I got up and opened his door. He was sitting on the couch with Serena.

"Did you sleep in here?" Serena asked him

"No. Ashley was having a bad night so I was looking over her, making sure she was okay. I came in to get coffee, I must've dozed off on the couch." He said rubbing his eyes.

"Is she okay?" Serena sounded worried.

"Yeah, I think so. I mean I know there's something bothering her and I know she'll tell me when she is ready."

Before Serena could say anything, I made my presence aware. I didn't want to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Want some coffee?" Serena asked.

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks."

She got up. I went to sit beside David. He kissed the side of my mouth and whispered good morning.

"I'll have to leave today. I know we planned more days but-"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah..um no.. just something came up that requires my immediate attention and I can't.. you know.. I'm sorry."

"No worries. We'll leave today."

I held his hand "you can stay. You can spend some more time with your mother. You don't have to rush back too."

"Look, I'm not going to ask what's the immediate situation is but I can't stay here when I know you're going through something. My mom will understand and we can visit some other time."

"Are you sure?" I still felt bad but I really appreciated him offering to come. Having him by my side does make things easier.

"Positive."

"You go pack. I'll talk to my mom and we can leave then."

I kissed him on his cheek and got up to pack.

We said our goodbyes to Serena and Emily. It was a little sad. I had a great time and I was going to miss them. I felt guilty for cutting the trip short but Serena and Emily were both very understanding.

The entire way back home I was lost. All the distant memories keep flooding back. I could hear Aaron's voice in my head. As we were getting closer, it was getting more clearer. I thought I got rid of him, got rid of that abusive life but I was wrong. It is always going to haunt me until I confront it.

I was scared that if I open the door slightly, everything will fall through it and I won't be able to control it. I won't be able to deal with everything that I've buried inside. I was terrified that I'll end up hating myself for the choices I made, David will hate it, that he won't be able to look at me the same way.

I was flipping through the magazine. I kept flipping, I couldn't focus my eyes on anything. I was nervous, unsure, terrified of what I was about to do. I lied to Aaron and even though he doesn't care about me, if he finds out, he'll flip.

Every second that was passing by I was getting more anxious. Every time they called a name, I would jump in my seat. All the wait and anticipation was making my head spin. If I don't do it now, I'll end up changing my mind and that's the last thing I wanna do.

"Ms. Ashley, you're next." The receptionist said.

I got up. The nurse handed me the gown and I went to the room to change into the gown. My hands was shaking and my legs were trembling. I was a nervous wreck.

"Are you sure about this?" The doctor asked.

"No, I may never be sure but this is something I've to do." I said.

"Do you wanna know-"

"No, it'll just make me question everything. I'm sure. This is what I want." I said firmly this time.

The doctor looked at me. She must've saw something in my eyes because she gave me a nod. A reassuring nod to let me know she understood. A feeling that I'll hold onto for a long time. A feeling of understanding my dilemma and not judging.