Notifications alerting me of new text messages pop up on the lock screen of my phone but I swipe away each one, refusing to talk to anyone. I know Gracie was hoping we would all go out for dinner tonight, but I don't have it in me to socialize. All I want to do is crawl in a hole and wither away.

Another notification comes in and I sigh out loud. I see that it's a new text from Gracie. I finally open her texts and see a long thread of texts from her.

Hey Alexa! How's Vegas treating you?

Alexa?

You there?

Are you okay?

I know when I'm being ignored. Why are you ignoring me?!

Did something happen between you and Nate?! Do I need to kick his ass because I will? Just say the word.

I laugh for the first time in hours and it feels good. If only it would last, but I know it won't.

Don't make me come to your room and get you!

I sit there and stare at her text messages but don't respond.

Should I feign sick or tell her the truth? If I tell her the truth, I may just ruin her joint bachelor and bachelorette party that's supposed to be fun and the perfect way to celebrate her upcoming nuptials. I don't want to take that away from her, but she also deserves to know the truth since it concerns her brother.

I bite my lip nervously, not knowing what to do and just stare at my screen when another text message comes in.

I know you read my texts, now tell me what's going on.

Nothing.

I just don't feel good and have been resting since we arrived.

I decide to go with a small white lie.

That's funny because Nate isn't feeling well either.

We must have eaten something bad.

I'm not buying it. What's really going on with you?

Nothing. I just don't feel good. That's all.

I don't believe you or Nate but it's not any of my business. You two can stay in your rooms and mope if that's what you want. The rest of us are going out to have dinner and some drinks after. Have a great rest of your night and "feel better."

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I think we're done when another text comes in.

And just so you know, you're not off the hook tomorrow. I expect you to join us for brunch, so no more of this sick business, okay?

I'll see you tomorrow.

I let my phone fall to the floor after locking it and drag my fingers through my hair in frustration as I stare at the same spot of carpet I've been staring at for the last couple of hours. I haven't moved from my spot against the door and I can't be bothered to move. I see no point. I don't have to go out to dinner with the bridal party, which I wasn't planning on doing anyway. And I have nothing urgent to do. Nothing matters right now. Not even the fact that I'm sitting in the same spot shirtless.

If Mia saw me right about now, she would be pissed I'm still moping and would be whipping my butt into shape, but she's not here, so I'm gonna mope all I want tonight. And tomorrow I'm just going to have to suck it up and go eat with everyone as if nothing happened today. But so much did happen and that's what hurts the most.

Nate told me that there's no chance of us ever reconciling and he said that he stopped loving me a long time ago. What could possibly be worse than that? Him and Miranda getting together? Ugh. I can't even bring myself to worry about that right now. What they do or don't do is none of my concern. Nate can do what he wants. It's his life, not mine.

Lies.

Deep down I know it would kill me if Nate and Miranda got together. I don't know if I could just stand back and see that happen.

I finally stand from my spot on the floor and grab my phone off the floor. I walk over to my suitcase and pull the first shirt I find and throw it on before walking further into the room. I see that there is a mini-fridge near the TV stand, and make my way over to it and open it to see that there is an assortment of small bottles of tequila, vodka, whiskey and all sorts of liquor.

I pluck a bottle of whiskey from the fridge and take it with me to the couch. I plop down on the couch and get comfortable. Or at least as comfortable as you can get on a stiff couch. I find the audiobook Mia bought me and put it to play while I sit back and listen to it.

It's right back on the scene Nate heard earlier and I can't help but smile at the memory as embarrassing as it was. I open the whiskey bottle and take a sip. It burns a path down my throat and usually, I would hate that sensation, but tonight I welcome it because it's the only thing that's helping me numb what I'm feeling. Even if it's just temporary.

I take another sip and stare off into space while the audiobook plays in the background, getting lost in the story while my thoughts run rampant through my head.

Why did things between Nate and I have to come to this? I never wanted any of this to happen. But it did and I don't know how to fix it.

I push my thoughts to the back of my mind as best as I can and focus on my audiobook that is too good. Thank you again, Mia, for giving it to me. It has been the best part of this whole dang trip so far, which is sad because I'm in Vegas and am not even enjoying it. That doesn't even sound right but here I am, moping over Nate. Nothing new at this rate.

Okay, that's enough of that. No more moping, Alexa.

I shake off all negative thoughts and get lost in my audiobook, tuning out the rest of the world for as long as I can.

I snap out of my daze and realize there's a ruckus going on outside in the hallway. I look down at my phone and see that hours have passed since I started listening to my audiobook. I pause my book and stand up from my spot on the couch, and do a good stretch before grabbing my room key and walking over to the door to take a peek through the peephole. I can't see anything. It's too blurry.

I yank the door open and find Nate walking down the hallway. He sees me and stops in his tracks. The first thing I notice is that he's wearing a shirt now, but he looks like a complete mess. His shirt is wrinkled, his hair is disheveled and his eyes are glazed over.

"This is all your fault," he says point-blank and points at me as people walk by. They give me weird stares but I ignore them and focus on Nate, who's clearly not in a good place.

"Nate this isn't the time or the place," I whisper yell and he frowns.

"It's never the right time. Not for us," he responds with pain in his eyes. I feel my heart clench and guilt settle deep in my bones. This is all my fault. If I hadn't done what I did, Nate wouldn't be like this.

"I'm so sorry, Nate," I say apologetically but he just shrugs off my apology.

"Don't be. If I had been a better boyfriend to you, you never would have cheated on me."

"Nate, why are you saying this?"

"Because it's true. I failed you so you ran into the arms of someone else."

"It's not like that and it hurts me to hear you say this. What happened between Johnny and I was not your fault. It never should have happened in the first place and am so sorry it did."

"But it is my fault," he says with a shrug of his shoulders. "This is all my fault," he adds and I can tell he feels guilt-ridden. Poor Nate. I never wanted him to feel like he's at fault. This is all so wrong.

"No! Stop taking the blame. We both messed up but I messed up worse," I tell him and step out of my room, letting the door close behind me. I approach him carefully, treating him like a wounded animal, and he just watches my every step. When I get closer I see that his eyes are slightly bloodshot. "You've been drinking," I blurt as it dawns on me and he chuckles.

"Yeah, I guess I have. Want to join me? I have plenty." He holds out a bottle of whiskey to me that has been consumed a quarter of the way through and I shake my head.

"No, Nate. I want you to go to your room and get some rest. You need it."

"Don't tell me what to do, Alexa," he responds angrily, doing a complete one-eighty. I ignore his mood swing and reach out to help him when he sways. He pushes my hand away and I shake my head at him.

"Nate, just let me help you back to your room and then I'll leave you be."

"No, stay the fuck away from me. You've already done enough damage," he tells me with anger in his eyes and walks away from me. I watch his retreating figure and just stand there until he disappears out of sight. I hear his door slam shut behind him and sigh.

I go back into my room and try to listen to the audiobook some more, but I can't focus no matter how hard I try. I pace my room and consider drinking another bottle of whiskey since I downed the first one while I listened to the audiobook but decide against it. Gracie doesn't need two drunk people on her hands. That would be an absolute disaster.

I bite my lip and consider my only other options. I could just go to bed and try to get some sleep and get up bright and early to get ready for the brunch with the bridal party but I doubt that will even happen with how riled up I am or I can march over to Nate's room and try to talk him down. I don't like how we left things and I'm worried about him in his inebriated state, but I'm also scared that me going over there could make matters worse and set him off.

I'm not sure what to do.

I bite my lip nervously as I look out the window and take in the city lights for the first time since I arrived in Las Vegas. The city looks beautiful all lit up at night and makes the bleak city not seem so ominous despite its bad reputation, but the more I stare at all the lights, the more guilt settles deep in my gut. I'm just standing here, wasting time staring at some lights when I could be with Nate talking things out.

But what if he doesn't want to see me?

I hear my phone start to vibrate from its spot on the couch and see that I have an incoming call. I grab my phone and am relieved to see it's Mia. I answer with a swipe of my finger and a sob tears from my throat as soon as I put the phone to my ear. I quickly cover my mouth but it's too late. There's no way Mia didn't hear that loud sob. I don't know where it came from. It came out of nowhere.

I close my eyes and try to reel in all the emotions that are threatening to spill out of me.

"Oh, no! What's wrong? Do I need to go over there and kick some ass?" Mia says and I just break down for the first time today. I'm just glad it's with Mia and not Nate. I don't want him to see me fall apart like this. He's already struggling as it is. He doesn't need my baggage on his shoulders.

"Maybe," I whimper over the line and cover my eyes with the heel of my palm.

"What did Nate do? He's gorgeous but I will kill him for hurting you."

"I know you would," I say with a small smile in between my tears. "I-I finally told him about what happened with Johnny."

"And?"

"He didn't take it well at all," I say sadly. "He got drunk not long after."

"It's not your fault," she tells me, knowing full well I'm feeling guilty about his actions.

"But it is. If I hadn't kissed Johnny back and pushed him away like I should have, we wouldn't be in this position. Nate and I could have worked through this by now but we haven't and I'm the one who's to blame. Not him. Me."

"I get why you feel guilty but you need to stop being so hard on yourself and just forgive yourself once and for all. You can't undo what happened but it's in the past now. You did what you needed. You told Nate. It's time to move on now."

"I don't know how. Not without Nate," I say in between tears and look up at the roof of my hotel room, willing the tears to just stop but they never do. They just keep pouring out of me like a river running down my cheeks. "I just can't imagine a future without him in it."

"Then go fight for your man. If he won't come to you, you go to him and grab him by the balls. Okay, not really. Don't do that," she says, making me laugh. "Just go to him and try and talk things out. I know he still loves you. You just have issues you need to work through but together, you two can do it."

"Thanks, Mia. When did you get so wise?"

"I've always been wise. You just didn't notice what a brilliant bestie you had," she says and I can just imagine her flipping her hair over her shoulder as she says it over the line.

"Oh, shut up. But seriously, I love you, Mia. Thank you for always being there for me. I really don't know what I would do without you."

"I love you too. Now stop dragging this out and go take back what's yours. I know you like the back of my hand. You're trying to put this off as much as you can."

I groan and she laughs.

"You know I'm right."

"You are," I admit.

"I know I am. Now go get your man and no more stalling, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am!" I say with a laugh. "I'll talk to you later. Don't miss me too much while I'm away."

"I'll try not to. Love you! Bye!" she yells at me before hanging up.

I put down my phone and go to the bathroom and wash my face. I wipe off the smeared mascara from underneath my eyelids and dry my face, making sure I don't look like a raccoon before I see Nate. The last thing I want is for him to be able to tell I was crying. Although I'm sure my puffy eyes are a dead giveaway I cried, I'm hoping he won't notice.

I walk out of the bathroom and grab my phone off the couch before checking the back pocket of my pants for my room key. When I feel I still have it on me, I don't give myself a chance to second guess myself and march over to Nate's room.

I knock on the door as soon as I reach it and when he doesn't open, I knock again.

"Go away!" I hear him yell but ignore him and knock again. I hear a curse and some loud noises come from inside and knock even louder. I don't care what it takes, but I'm not leaving here without talking to him.

Moments later, he finally opens the door and looks downright dreadful.

"I came to talk."

"I'm done talking," he responds and I can smell the strong stench of alcohol on his breath.

"But I'm not. I still have a lot I need to say."

"Not tonight." He starts to close the door on me, but I stop him and push my way into the room. "Alexa, get out," he tells me as he follows me into the room.

"Not before I say what I need to tell you."

"I don't want to hear it."

"Well you're going to have to," I insist.

"Fine," he says with a sigh. "Just say whatever you need to say and leave."

"Fine."

"Fine," he mimics and I sigh, realizing this is going to be one long night.

"I know you're mad," I start and he rolls his eyes.

"More like pissed."

"And you have every right to be. But are you seriously going to let what happened ruin what we had? We can still fix this," I tell him, gesturing between us.

"I'm done trying to repair what we had," he says with a sigh and walks over to his nightstand to pick up his big bottle of whiskey he had offered me a drink from earlier. He takes two large gulps from it and slams it down on the nightstand, spilling a few drops on the top of the nightstand before falling back on his bed.

"Nate, why are you doing this to yourself? This is no different than what I did at the club. Drinking isn't going to fix anything."

"Are you done yet?" he asks annoyed.

"No, I'm not even close to done."

"Well, you can save your bullshit lecture for some other time. I don't want to hear it. Go preach to someone else."

"Nate, don't be like this. I just want to talk," I plead.

"Fuck, Alexa. Just get over me and move on! I'm done with you," he says angrily and hits the headboard with the side of his clenched fist.

"If only it were that simple, but I just go back and forth with myself and tell myself I need to forget you but I can't. I can never bring myself to let you go, Nate. You know why?"

"Humor me," he says with a dry laugh.

"Because I love you," I tell him and he shoots up in bed and struggles to steady himself but he finally manages to sit up and looks me dead in the eyes.

"Don't say you love me. Not after the way you betrayed me."

"How is my kiss with Johnny any different than your kiss with that woman?"

"Because you kissed him back!" he seethes in anger.

"I didn't mean to," I say, feeling defeated with tears in my eyes.

"That doesn't change what you did."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. You need to get that through that thick skull of yours."

"How many times do I have to say sorry before you forgive me?"

"You can say it all you want, but I will never forgive you. Not now. Not ever."

"It hurts me to hear you say that. More than you know. But I don't know what to do anymore," I say feeling resigned and wipe away my traitorous tears. I don't know what other way to say I'm sorry anymore. I'm starting to feel like Nate never will forgive me and the thought alone breaks my heart but I don't know what to do. How do I fix this?

"There's nothing you can do." He lets his head slump forward and I move toward him without thinking, worried he might fall forward. "You said what you had to. Now please leave," he tells me but he doesn't bother looking at me when he says it.

I drop to my knees in front of him and lift his head but he just looks to the side, refusing to meet my gaze. It hurts me to know he doesn't even want to look at me, but I refuse to give up on him. I move my hand and caress his cheek and when his eyes finally connect with mine, I see nothing but pain reflected in his hollow blue eyes that are emotionless as the day he broke up with me. This isn't my Nate and it kills me to see him like this, but I can't help him, not unless he lets me in.

I see a flicker of emotion cross his eyes but it's gone in the blink of an eye and in its place is nothing but rage.

"Don't touch me," he yells, slapping my hand away. I fall to the side from the force of the impact and feel my eyes brim with tears.

"Nate, how could you?" The slap itself wasn't painful but it hurts me that he would go as far as slapping my hand away. I get that he's upset but nothing justifies what he did and I don't know if I have it in me to forgive him this time. He has never lifted so much as a finger at me, but this is a new low even for him and I'm so disappointed in him. He could have easily hurt me for being so careless.

When he takes in my fallen form on the floor and it finally registers what he did, he sobers right up and moves to help me up but I don't accept his help. I scoot back and away from him. He looks hurt by my actions but I'm not about to beg him for forgiveness when he's the one who hurt me, not the other way around.

"I'm so sorry, Alexa. I shouldn't have done that," he says and I see his eyes fill with remorse.

"No, you shouldn't have. You should never hit anyone no matter how mad you are. This time it was just my hand, but next time, what will it be? My face?"