CHAPTER THIRTEEN: DINNER & DIATRIBES

"Hey, it's time to wake up."

Lotus groaned, swatting around her lazily. Whoever was there, they needed to leave and let her sleep.

"Lotus."

She peeled an eye open, Five leaned over her holding a mug of coffee. "We need to go soon."

Her head hurt, she blinked slowly sitting up. She rubbed her eyes and felt a prickle off hair, Lotus froze and grabbed at it. "Oh my god." She mumbled standing up, finding a mirror hung on the wall. Her eyes widened, she had bangs.

"When did this happen?" She questioned, turning to Five. "How could you let this happen!"

"This morning." He shrugged, "You went day drinking with Klaus."

"But I don't drink."

He nodded, walking towards her. "And now I see why."

Lotus sighed, eyes wandering down to her clothes. They were different, no longer the jumpsuit she had changed into when they arrived. Instead she wore high waisted shorts, a blue so dark it looked black. Her shirt was a plain fitted tee, a maroon tone with a wide collar poking out the top. "Where'd my other clothes go?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

Lotus pursed her lips, "Is everyone here?"

"No." Five walked behind her, she could see him in the reflection of the mirror. "But we'll go without them. They all know that it's important and none of them are here."

She watched his reflection, his hands were in his pockets as he rocked back on his heels. His hair was messy, unusually so. And his expression didn't seem as stone cold as it normally was. "Are you okay?" She asked.

"Great."

She raised a brow, "What?"

"Do you really not remember?" He took a step towards her, "It was only this morning."

Lotus turned and faced him, shaking her head. "Why happened?"

He snorted, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards him. "Let me jog your memory."

His face was inches from hers and her eyes widened, the events unfurling that a chapter book. "Oh my god, I did not kiss you—"

He smiled, "You very much did."

Lotus nodded slowly, cheeks turning red. "Don't we have a dinner to get too?"

He nodded, leading her out of the room. How was Five so cocky all of the time, he managed to conceal everything so well. If Lotus was embarrassed she looked like a ripe tomato, or when she was extremely nervous sometimes she'd start to hiccup.

Five stopped in the hallway, holding out his hand. "Shall we jump?"

She rolled her eyes and accepted, "You're a loser."

As soon as her hand landed in his the world warped around them, the interior of Elliott's apartment traded for a quiet street outside as the sun set. They stood in front of a tall building, the name 'Southland Life' stretched out across in blue.

"You ready?" She looked to him, worry in her eyes. He hadn't seen his father in forever, and despite them technically never having met, Five still knew him. He was still his Dad.

He said nothing, in Five fashion. They took off towards the building, climbing up the many steps and slipping through the doorway. It was oddly empty inside, no workers or people mingled around. Lotus followed Five into the open elevator, he took a deep breath as he pressed the correct floor button. The doors slowly closed, but before they could a hand intercepted and they reopened. Diego peaked in, stepping beside Five. "Wait up."

"Hold it!" Allison added, joining them. Lotus couldn't help but smile as the rest of the Hargreeves family shuffled in, ending with Luther who shoved everyone to the side so he could fit. "Excuse me."

Lotus was just behind Five, pressed half between the front of Allison and the back Five. "Good. We're all here." He smiled.

She watched as the number climbed as they moved upwards, a red light bobbing from number to number. When the light hit ten, she could hear Allison shifting restlessly, "Oh."

"Oof." Five mumbled, Lotus grimaced as the smell hit her. "Luther!"

"Sorry, I'm nervous."

Lotus couldn't help but laugh as she leaned into Five and dug her nose into his arm, trying not to breath to deeply. When the door opened, they all practically threw themselves out. Five pulled her along, shaking his head. "Nasty. I'm choking!"

"None of that." Klaus waved his hands, "None."

Lotus paused, straying from Five and exploring. A large sign hung over a few steps leading down, reading 'Tiki Lounge.'

Lantern lights were hung everywhere, with really anything and everything you'd expect from a Hawaii section of a Party City. A large round table was set up in the centre of the room, cups and drinks surrounded a large fruit platter.

"All right, when Dad gets here, I'll do the talking, okay?" Five explained, moving a chair out.

"I've got a few questions for him myself." Diego said.

"Hey, we don't wanna scare him off, alright. He might be able to help us stop doomsday, get us home."

"No, we need to figure out why he's planning to kill the president."

Lotus sighed, taking a seat next to where Five stood. She leaned against the table, reaching for a piece of pineapple that decorated the table.

"This is a matter of life and death, you imbecile."

"Okay, yeah, maybe we should take turns talking." Vanya nodded, turning and spotting a shell on another table. She picked it up and smiled, "Here, whoever has got this conch shell gets to talk."

"Vanya, we don't have time for a debate, okay?" Five huffed.

Allison marched over to her sister and grabbed the shell out of her hand, "Maybe I should lead. We all know I'm a better public speaker than the rest of you."

"Okay, Daddy's girl." Diego snickered.

"Aw, jealous Number Two?"

"Hey!" Diego stopped and walked over to them, "No more numbers, no more bullshit. We're Team Zero. We're all Team Zero."

Lotus leaned her head back against the chair, smiling over at them all. "Wait— hold up, Diego, I'm sorry sweetie but you don't have the conch."

"She's right." Luther agreed.

Diego took a deep breath and nodded, taking the conch and throwing it against the wall. It shattered and hit the ground in multiple pieces.

"Classic." Allison scoffed.

Lotus giggled, maybe she was still a little a drunk. More than she'd like to admit. A door swung open, and a determined looking man in a dress suit stomped his way over and took a seat. The rest of the Hargreeves family followed suit, a mix of expressions going around the table.

Sir Reginald Hargreeves slapped his books down on the table and glared at them, "Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have, on numerous occasions called me—"

Lotus hadn't realized Klaus wasn't at the table with him, a chair squeaked as he sat down, sliding a drink towards Lotus. She reached out to take it but Five grabbed it and dumped it on the floor, sliding the empty glass back to his brother.

"Hey, Pop. How's it hangin'?" Klaus raised his drink.

"—Dad."

Lotus shook her head, "I'd like to say that I haven't done that. Not me."

"My reconnaissance tells me you're not CIA, not KGB, certainly not MI5, so... who are you?"

The family shared looks of puzzlement, that was a very hard question to answer.

Five leaned forward, "We're your children. From the future."

Mr Hargreeves did not look pleased, he crossed his hands on the table and sent another glare.

"In 1989, you adopted us all and trained us to fight against the end of the world. Called us the Umbrella Academy."

"Why on earth would I adopt six—"

"Seven." Allison interrupted, "One of us isn't here."

"Dead." Diego frowned, "One of us is dead."

Klaus jumped in his seat, turning to the back of the room. "Enough of that now."

They all shot him an odd look before Mr Hargreeves went back to the matters at hand, "Regardless, what would cause me to adopt seven ill-mannered malcontents?"

"We all have special abilities." Five said.

"Special? In what sense?"

Luther sighed, "In the superpower sense."

"Call me old fashioned but I'm a stickler for a pesky little thing called evidence. Show me."

Allison picked up a cup in front of her and twisted around a little straw umbrella, "Everybody wants to see powers all of a sudden." She scoffed.

"We're not circus animals, okay?" Luther seethed, "We're not gonna bounce balls on our noses and clap our hands like seals for your amusement."

Diego raised his hand and flicked a knife out, Lotus watched in wonder as it flipped out towards the middle of the table before turning directions and almost missing his Dad's head just before landing in the wall with a metallic thud. Mr Hargreeves said nothing, only opened up a notebook and began scribbling.

They all leaned forward, "What are you writing?"

"You are zero for two, young man."

Diego scrambled up from his seat but Five was faster, he reappeared in front of his brother and shoved him back. "Relax!"

"Now that is interesting."

Five sighed, "Alright, quick run down. Luther: super strength. Klaus can commune with the dead. Allison can rumour anyone to do anything—"

"Expect she never uses it." Diego grumbled.

Allison smiled sweetly over at him, "I heard a rumour you punched yourself in the face."

They all watched as Diego did just that, he groaned in pain as Allison took a long sip of whatever she was drinking.

Reginald turned to Vanya next, "And you?"

"Uh, maybe we don't take Vanya for a test run." Luther said.

Klaus leaned back in his seat, "Oh, yeah, that's probably not a good idea."

"It's fine." Vanya shrugged, picking up a fork. "I can handle it."

"Handle it? Last time you handled it, you definitely blew up the moon."

They all overlapped each other with protests as Vanya focused in on her own cup and hit the fork against it. Nothing happened for a few seconds, then the giant fruit platter simply exploded. Crushed fruit sprayed at them, Lotus yelped as she covered her face, a small laugh escaping her lips.

"Oops." Vanya smiled.

Luther sighed, "That was impressive."

"Look, we know that you're involved in a plot to assassinate the president." Diego stood up, leaning on the table.

Reginald only raised an eyebrow, "You were recently hospitalized, isn't that correct? You still appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia."

"Am I?" He questioned, pulling out a photo from his pocket and placing in front of his Dad. "Explain this. That's you. That's two days from now on the grassy knoll at the exact spot the president's gonna get shot."

He picked up the photo and stared at it, "Well, I suppose you solved it. You've single handedly unearthed my nefarious plot."

Lotus sat up straight, "Wait— hold up a second. Really?"

"Is that what you want to hear?"

She slouched back down, "Oh."

"You fancy yourself a do-gooder? The last good man who will save us from our decent into corruption and conspiracy? This is a fantastic delusion. The sad reality is that you're a desperate man, tragically unaware of his own insignificance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. More succinctly, a man over his head."

Diego slowly sat down, eyes watering. "Y-you're— you're w-wrong." He stuttered.

Lotus frowned, glaring at the old man. "You're a dick."

Five flicked her arm, "Look, forget about the president. We have a catastrophic war coming in five days. We need to figure out how to stop it."

"War?" Their father questioned, "Men will always be at war with each other."

"This isn't a normal war." Lotus huffed, "Doomsday. The end of the world."

"Well... you're the special ones, aren't you?"

Lotus leaned towards Vanya, "Can I hit him?" She whispered.

"Why don't you band together and do something about it?"

They all looked to each other, a moment of silence before Klaus' hands shot up and he started shaking. "Is he having a seizure?"

"Overdosing probably."

"Should we do something?"

Five glared, whispering. "Klaus, now is not the time. What are you doing?"

Lotus stared with wide eyes, she could see Ben and Klaus, mixing together in a weird blob of human and ghost. "What the hell?" She whispered, watching as he turned to Reginald and ground out, "I'm... Ben." Before falling to the floor in a gasp.

Reginald was quick to stand up, he gathered his things and kept them close to his side. "Well, thank you for coming. I've seen about enough."

"No." Luther mumbled, slamming the table. Lotus jumped as he ripped open his shirt and stood up, "Look at what you did to me!"

They all shared a look, Five fell back in his seat in disbelief. "Oh shit, why?"

"This has been a fun night." Lotus nodded.

"Look at it!" He yelled.

Their father made no motion of caring as he pointed at Five, "You, in the culottes. A word, in private?"

Lotus stood up as Five did, "Ima come along."

"I did not ask for you." Reginald paused in the doorway, sending her a look of distaste.

"And I didn't ask you to ruin seven kids lives, but here we are." She linked arms with Five, "And my name is Lotus, by the way."

Sir Reginald Hargreeves glowered down at her, "Fine. Don't dally."

She smiled, nodding at Five as he pursed his lips. "I think I made a good first impression." She mumbled. Five only shook his head and pulled her along.