Shockwave was sitting on the throne of the Nemesis, a suitable change in my optics as he held my servo. He insisted that I sit on the arm rest, and look upon the empty room. 

"This, is what Megatron looked at every day," he said. 

"It's rather... lonely," I admitted, looking down to his singular optic, and he looked up at me. 

"Perhaps, but our situation is quite different." 

Imagine my surprise when he pulled me down to sit atop of him, my backplates resting on the other arm rest as he looked down to me. I felt my cooling fans begin to make their annoying whirr, trying to cool my flustered self down. He wasn't like this... it's very out of character. 

"Sh-Shockwave... I'm still confused," I muttered, "Who's going to lead the Decepticons? We're scientists, not leaders..." 

He looked to me for a long time, not saying a word, until he sighed, and moved so that I was on the seat of the throne, next to him, though my stabilizers were dangling from the odd height from the ground.

"You doubt both of our skills?"

"Wha... well, not yours! I mean, what will the other Vehicons think? They followed Megatron, not you, though they do have a fear of you that can work in your favor-"

"Our favor."

I frowned. There was no getting through to him on this one. How can I lead when I have been following for so long? I doubt anyone would listen to me no matter the circumstance... then again, as I said before, the fear of Shockwave may give me a power over them that forces them all to follow me... and now I feel like I'm using him... and I don't want to be seen as above the others, it was never my intention to be so.

"How are you so sure?" I questioned, looking to my pedes as if ashamed, and in a sense I was. Ashamed that Shockwave's trust and belief in me may go to waste. Would that result in me losing him? Or would it be a temporary problem with a long term fix? Either way, I don't want to take that chance.

"I am sure, because it is logical."

"You're reasoning is rather illogical."

This only made him sigh once more, and I rolled my optics.

"It is your own job to believe in yourself, and that will take time. Think of this as an experiment."

"That doesn't really come off as reassuring." 

This only made him shake his helm once more, letting a silence fall between us. It wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't a comfortable silence either. So there I sat, next to Shockwave, a tiny comparison to his bulk and having enough room to not be completely squished on the throne. 

Looking around, I noted the permeating silence of the lack of drones, the lack of Soundwave and Starscream. So mellow, almost quaint, definitely calming, and a reminder of a looming unanswered question that rattles inside my helm. Sighing, I looked from my pedes to Shockwave's singular optic as he surveyed the empty room. I feel more like an experimental pet then a lover, just something to keep him company and help from time to time, much like Predaking once was. Would I feel that way if we bonded? Would there be so much doubt that he loves me, not as a companion, but as a sparkmate? 

"Shockwave..." 

His response was looking down to me, but I knew I had his undivided attention.

"There is no... no risk now that Megatron is... is gone..." my courage was withering away like a plant based substance in the heat of one of Earth's desert's, but I didn't have the fore thought to think quickly enough to take hold of my peak of sureness of what I was about to ask, "I guess... what I'm trying to say, well ask... is, scrap." My confidence disappeared, and I looked back to my dangling pedes, now swinging in my frustration, cooling fans showing my embarrassment. 

"I know of what it is you are trying to ask," Shockwave said, though he did not make me look to him, and I kept a steady gaze with my pedes, "But now is not the time, you are tired, wounded, and low on energon. Rest, (Y/D), that is the most logical action one like you can take."

I merely nodded, heeding the words of the mech I love so dearly. Shockwave didn't follow me, and I didn't mind, but Predaking did once I was past the doors of the throne room, so either way I had to hide the tears that threatened to spill down my faceplates. I held my helm high, passing the usual working class vehicons, my destination being the lab, where the adjoined office awaits me. I had made my way rather quickly, giving Predaking a short 'thank you' before closing the door to the lab, and slinking to the back where I brought down the berth hidden within the wall. I sat down, and slowly the energon tears began to flow. The pain of my spark didn't help the pain from my frame, my wounds not yet cared for, but I could care less.

"Idiot," I cursed myself, "If he hasn't already he doesn't want to bond..."

But was this sound reasoning? Part of me says 'yes' the other says 'no', making the tears continue to fall, an embarrassing act that made me want to curl up close to Shockwave, knowing he could calm me. But right now, that sounds more like a form of torture to myself.

"If he doesn't want to, why won't he tell me the reason?" I asked the faint reflection in the metal of the wall, "It's just not logical..."

All things aside, I was tired, and my processor was reeling from the activity and then sudden tranquility. Stretching myself out on the berth, I decided that the moment I had the chance, I would ask for an explanation. If he really doesn't want to bond with me, at least I'll know the reason why, and I won't be left in the dark. I just hope that my own courage will hold up when I need it to...