I woke up, the aches and pains dull but there, and rather uncomfortable. Still I forced myself up, finding that Predaking was still waiting by the front of the lab entrance, awake and not showing any signs of tiring as he smiled his good morning to me, and I smiled back.

"Do you know Shockwave's whereabouts?" I asked.

"He's in the main computer room," he informed me, "Shall I escort you?"

"If you could, please."

The journey was quiet, and short, passing by vehicons whose gaze seemed to linger from time to time, and it made my circuits prickle. When the doors of the computer room opened, I was met with everyone's attention, and the sudden bowing of every vehicon in the room.

"My lady," was their chorus, and I gave a weak and nervous smile as I shuffled my way to Shockwave, who was in the middle of the room.

"I see you are up earlier than expected." he noted, "I hope your welcome was... welcoming."

His loss for words was cute, but that was not something I'd force anyone to do just because I walked in a room.

"Must you make them hate me any more than they already do?" I sighed, "It's not quite fair to them or me."

This received a nod, and few tappings of the key board keys.

"It is done."

I smiled, and gave him a quick kiss at the side of his optic as my 'thank you'.

There was a long silence as we surveyed our empire, a few vehicons looking quickly away as my optics passed them by. I've never thought myself as above them, and now I find myself in that position anyway. My how the tables have turned in my favor. Yet I can't shake off a lingering fear. Perhaps it's the hate my fellow vehicons have toward me, or maybe it's my spark acting up, who knows, but this fear stays, and I am not fond of it.

"(Y/D), I need you to take charge for a time," came the sudden request from Shockwave.

"Wh-what? I mean, well, hold on..." I tried to straighten my thoughts out before I spoke, "Shockwave... I don't think I can."

"Why not?" he asked, antenea going down, a show of confusion.

"I'm a vehicon," was my reasoning, "It's in my programming to follow, not lead. I don't know the first thing about leadership."

Shockwave let out a deep chuckle, finding my frustration amusing, much to my chagrin, and I frowned.

"You are a smart femme, you will learn."

"Yeah, maybe in a few more vorns," I huffed, crossing my arms and feeling a familiar pain that often resulted in my carelessness.

Shockwave shook his helm as he brought my arms away from myself, and inspecting the damage done. This time it wasn't much, but I hadn't been repaired from my run-in with Megatron, so it looked much worse than what it was. I winced as Shockwave inspected my injuries that were ignored previously, some deep gashes already starting to rust.

"You can be so careless," he sighed, and I rolled my optics.

"And you can be near insufferable, HEY!" he had started to inspect my backplates, where a rather deep gash was still oozing energon, slowly, but enough to cause some worry, me being so fragile. He began to poke at it slightly and I hissed, stepping away from him.

"This was not noticed beforehand?" He looked to Predaking, who seemed rather baffled as to how the gash even got there.

"My apologies," the predacon showed his concern, and I shook my helm, why apologize when it's not your fault? "I had not realized she was so badly wounded."

"Don't apologize," I groaned, "I'm fine, it's just a scratch."

"A scratch that's rusting and still bleeding," Shockwave noted, taking a firm hold on my arm, though he was careful not to wound me further, "Predaking, stay here while I tend to (Y/D)'s wounds."

"Of course Shockwave." Predaking bowed, and looked to me with a sorrowful gaze, most likely feeling responsible for my current position.

On the way back to the lab, we ran into Starscream. He seemed somewhat at ease, but I could not tell for sure as he stopped to bow.

"The imprisoned femme demands an audience, my lord."

Lord Shockwave, who knew such a title would be so fitting for him. I rather like it.

"Inform her that she is not a priority."

"Of course," Starscream bowed before bypassing us, and we continued on toward the lab.

"You sure grew accustomed to that title quickly."

"I care little about the title, it was not my goal."

"I see," nodding, I noted that we had arrived, and I was quickly led to the open berth. Shockwave ordered that I lay so my wound was pointed skyward, and I complied, setting my helm on my arms so that I wouldn't scratch my faceplate on the metal of the berth. Whining as he inspected the many scratches and dents once more, I shuffled and fidgited in a form of defiance as he cleaned and fixed my wounds. I gave a sigh of relief when he was done, only to grumble further as we both remembered that my arms were in bad shape as well.

"Must you be so careless of yourself?" he asked monotonously, "I fail to find the logic in it."

"Sometimes there is no logic," I chuckled, "That's just how I am."

"It is illogical," he stated once more.

"Well so is you offlining Megatron to protect a simple vehicon," I shot back.

"To protect the one I love."

I frowned at this, not expecting such a statement.

"Yet you will not bond," I'm tired of beating around the perverbeal bush, it's about time we settled this matter. He's always avoiding the subject, either abruptly moving to a different dilemma, or saying that I was far to tired, or hurt, or had been through enough to warrant me as somewhat unstable at the time. Well, now I'm well rested, haven't been through any major strain, and Shockwave set Predaking in charge, so he doesn't have to leave any time soon, "Shockwave I want to know why. Say it however you need to, even if it may break my own spark. I've already come to terms with the fact that you don't want to bond with me, I just... need to know why."

My plead was answered with silence as Shockwave simply stared at me. I tried to hold his gaze but my confidence withered, so I looked down to my servos, surprised to see that they were still being held by the single servo of Shockwave. He showed no intention of letting them go, and I didn't have any reason to take them out of his grasp, so instead I shuffled them so that I was the one holding 'his' servo, quite content with this as I let a small smile appear on my derma. Yes I had come to terms with the whole ordeal, but I would still like to know why he won't bond with me. Perhaps he can't bond, or maybe it's just because I'm so fragile, and my spark I so much weaker compared to his, perhaps my spark wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I-"

"Fear."

My sentence was interrupted, and I looked up to the mech that so often plagued my dreams, and my nightmares. He was no longer looking at me, but rather, his own servo wrapped in my two.

"Fear that you will be disappointed."

How could I be?

"Fear that the bond may hurt you."

Perhaps, but I could bare it.

"Fear that I am not what you want, what you need."

I could not help but smile, seeing close to the same doubts I've had. Taking my servos from his, I lifted myself to sit on my kneeplates, and extended my arms as far as I could behind him, my faceplate at one side of his optic.

"You're more than that," I assured, low enough for only him to hear. My smile widened as he stiffened, awkward and not knowing what to do, "You're what I know, what I've had, and what has been keeping me from just ending it all." his singular servo came up to rest on the small of my spinal strut, his canon resting on the berth just beside me, "You're everything a femme could wish for, whether anyone else realizes that or not."

I stayed like this, draped over his chassis, fiddling with his delicate and finicky antanea that only I was allowed to touch, smiling as they flicked away from my digit s I lightly brushed them, only to come back as the feeling became familiar and enjoyable. Shockwave sighed, and his optic dimmed as he relaxed, single servo still firmly, but gently placed where the armor was naturally thinnest on my back.

"You are the most illogical variable in my life."

I giggled at this, and slid off of him, sitting completely on my kneeplates as I smiled.

"If I was that illogical, you would have gotten rid of me long before now."

"You are the only variable, illogical or otherwise, that I truly enjoy the company of."