Friday has come and nothing. I'm still waiting on her .

It's been two weeks , and I don't see any improvement. A week ago I asked the doctors to cut off visiting.

I cant stand everyone telling me that it'll all be alright . I cant stand it because we've been here for six weeks . Waiting patiently , I've been watching my wife fight for her life .

I feel so helpless , knowing that there's nothing that I can do to help her . Where do I begin , how do I begin.

I'm not even in the right headspace right now . I had to ask Jason to leave a werk ago because honestly , had he let me interrogate Kayla from the first moment , we would not have been here .

I'd be telling a completely different story . I know that he claims that he's changed, but right now I cant stand the sight of his face , knowing that this wouldnt have been happening.

Lately my moods are all over the place , I cant keep food down and I dont sleep at all .

I dont care what doctor says what , I need to see my wife alive.

The belly grows and moves almost every week . And it's beautiful to watch . But the Lord knows it would be even better with her watching and being conscious of every chance happening to her body.

Some of the bruises are now gone , the cuts that were on her thighs are close and her nose looks like it was never touched .

She does look a bit thinner , but she looks way better than when we found her in the warehouse.

The only thing that makes me really happy , is that she's still breathing on her own. This gives me daily hope , it reminds me that the journey is not yet over .

The nurse walks into the room and does her daily check ins.

"Mr Bernett, have had something to eat?" She asks, concern lacing her voice.

"Its not me who you should be worried about ." I say to her.

"Mr Bernett, you have to eat something or you will faint." She says .

"I dont care! I dont fucking care! I won't eat until I have that meal with her and my child! You can stop wasting your time . I just said I dont want food! Leave me alone. Please." I yell at her.

"Mr Bernett, we are doing all that we can to-" she tries .

"It is not enough! It is not fucking enough! If it was , she would be alive and standing next to me! " I yell .

"We are doing everything that we know how ." She defends .

"Do anything , everything! It doesn't fucking matter how much it costs , just help her ! Dont ask me about my stomach , it does not matter whether I've eaten or not ." I yell frustratedly.

Everyone should just stop asking about me, I'm not the one laying on that bed fighting for my life . Its Cass , so why in fucks sake would they ask me.

I glare at the nurse , silently asking her to leave the premises before I do anything I'll regret.

A week ago the doctor had asked me if I wanted the baby detached as it is six months old now .

But that all felt wrong , had Cass woken up and found that the baby was removed prematurely she would not be happy . This is a decision we are to make as a team , not just because I feel that its what would make me happy .

Especially seeing that it's a decision revolving around her body , her permission is the first thing we should be looking for,not mine .

I will only allow detachment if Cass passes away and that is not going to happen .

I never saw this as my life you know .

I always thought I'd marry the love of my life - whom , by then was Melanie - , that I'd have kids with her and we'd live a simple and happy life .

But Melanie cheated , I murdered someone and went to prison. As bad as all of that seems , I met an angel there in prison.

Cass , from the moment I met her, was just a vibrant and unapologetically unique human being .

The way her smile was contagious was absolutely inhuman .

I fell inlove with Cass , and that was just it . I knew that I'd wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman.

We got married and she is expecting a baby. My life was perfect two months and a week ago , it was exactly what I'd dreamt of .

But as they say , it was only the calm before the storm .

I'd spent a week looking for my wife in every corner of every alley in New York .

And when I found her , she was beaten up. Starved and even tortured. How can I forgive myself after that .

And its Jason's fault . Had he allowed me the right to interrogate Kayla, I would have known from day one of my wife's whereabouts.

But I cant keep blaming Jason . I had a hand in it too . Just because Jason has not approved of me interrogating Kayla , does not mean I was to listen to him.

I should've fought against him and still interrogated Kayla , I should've threatened her with something . I should've not listen to him , I was just a fool .

And I know that he wasnt a part of the scheme , but he should've let me find out.

If it was not her , then I'd have at least consoled my heart by interrogating her.

"Oh, Cass . I'm so sorry . I cant believe that we're here .

You dont deserve this honey , you deserve so much more and far more better than this . Please fight baby , fight the war .

I'm right beside you , I'm holding your hand every step of the way . Just dont give up , please baby.

Fight. We'll get through it , I just know it and you know it too. I love you very much Cass , so much." I say .

I lay my head on her chest and I hold her hand .

Why is it not me in this position .

But do I really want Cass to be in mine ? Holding my hand everyday and crying , she would've taken it much worse .

She would not be okay. But I would've faught for her, I'd have made sure that within a week , they have discharged me and I am heading home with her .

But I know she's fighting for her life . I trust that . She would never betrayed like that, the same way I wouldnt her .

I love you Cass .

To infinity and beyond .

God , I know you're listening. I know you are , please protect my wife .

Protect my child and be there for them both . Give me strength to stand by their side every waking day and love them , even as they're still unconscious.

I believe that you will make a way. I trust that you, you are a God of all God's. You are a miracle worker .

I know that I should be the last person to request this of you , but please Lord hear me.

Lord , please save her for me. Do this one favour for me. She's my everything . Please.

The hand of hers that I'm holding holds me back .

At first , I think I'm hallucinating. I think that maybe it's just a delusion. I haven't eaten in days , maybe that's why .

But then the hand tangles with my own , no this is a dream right?

I bring my head up from her chest to look at her .

Her eyes are not fully open , but they are open. She's staring at me , and a weak smile is playing at her lips .

I press the nurse button , and she comes bolting in . Maybe because I've never rung that before , she thought something bad happened .

I peel my eyes off Cass to look at the nurse and she looks to be in utter shock . She runs out yelling .

"Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!"

I stare back at Cass . Her chocolate eyes looking fairly inviting. I haven't seen them in months .

She smiles weakly again .

The doctor walks in , and I hear the relieved sigh from him.

"Ahh, Mrs Bernett how lovely to see you awake ." She says .

I feel the tears spill from my eyes . Thank you God! Thank you Jesus! He has heard my prayer and answered it .

"Mr Bernett, your wife is fresh out of a coma , she may experience things like temporary or permanent memory loss. The inability to talk or walk . And confusion . Please , do be patient with her . But right now she needs some rest

I'll be back later on , to run some tests on her and to check her stability. And after that , I'll inform you when she can be released and head back home ." The doctor says , smiling .

I pray that she does not experience any of those . I know she does not have any memory loss , from the way that she looks at me .

She smiles and she holds tighter onto my hand .

"I'm going to bring her food after an hour . Do ring that bell if you need anything else." The nurse says , and she and the doctor leave .

"I love you. I love you so so much." I say to her .

She squeezes my hand weakly , and a small smile plays at my lips .

She closes her eyes again . For a moment I'm scared that she has gone back into the coma , but then I hear light snoring coming from her parted lips.

I fish for my phone , I haven't used it in months , but Cassandra's mom charges it everytime she comes over , she says incase I need to call her.

I dial Bethany's number and it rings once . She picks up.

"Hello?" She says .

"Hi Beth , put me on speaker and get to momma now." I say to them .

"What's wrong , is Cassiey okay?" She asks , and from the background I hear rushed footsteps .

"Cassiey?" Momma's voice sounds from behind .

"Momma , you guys have to get here . Cassiey woke up . But right now she is resting a bit . Bring her some clothes..." I scrutinize her body.

"You know what , get her one of my hoodies and a skirt . I dont think she'll fit into her old clothes . The tummy is getting really big now." I say to them .

"Oh , thank the Lord!" I hear momma say.

"She is awake? " Beth breathes into the phone .

"Yes , and you guys can come to see her , just bring those clothes I mentioned and cosmetics . She's going to need them ." I say looking at her beautiful face .

She is not looking like she is quater to death anymore. She looks happy and almost at peace. I hold her hand and kiss it .

"I'm not letting you go this time. ".