lola

I ran into the bathroom with an awful stomach wrenching feeling, guilt consuming every fibre of my body as flashbacks ran through my mind. I felt disgusted, I was disgusting. I slam the door behind me, tears streaming down my face with agony in each droplet. I screamed, screaming for this pain to go away and for life to just let me love again. I wanted to be free and I wanted to love him, his emerald eyes and chestnut hair, the way he paints his dreams and curls his soul around each and every stroke of the brush.

My breath was heavy, chest rising up and down rapidly. I lock the door, ignoring those voices just outside the frame.

As I walk to the mirror, the cold tiles seeping into the skin under my feet, I feel heavy and every pump of my heart made me ache just a little bit more. I look into the reflection of the mirror in front of me, not recognising the girl standing before me. That bruise on my cheek red, the purple and blue swirling around; almost like his art. I run my fingertips over the blemish, my red cheeks stinging as I begin to sob heavily.

I stared at myself, the ghost of a girl with her heart too big and dreams too bright. I look into those familiar soft blue eyes that always reminded me of my mother, the glassy orbs dimming with each sob escaping my mouth.

***

friday night - fifteen hours before

"Are you ready?" Harry asks, looking down at me with a glimmer in his green eyes. I nod, smiling at the beautiful boy as I entwine our fingers.

We walk up the stairs of the grand home, the white panelling and large windows catching my eye for a brief second. The front porch smelt of lavender and roses, the surrounding garden creating a beautiful atmosphere. As we neared the door my ears hear the sound of distant music, voices lacing through the tune. Harry glances at me one more time before opening the door, guiding me through.

A smell of smoke and liquor overwhelms my senses, a few people rushing past as Harry closes the door behind us. He attends to me with a charming smile, offering to take the denim jacket off my shoulders, his warm fingertips ghosting my exposed skin. I smile as I noticed Richard walking down the staircase ahead of us, a young blonde following closely to his shadow.

"Well, well, well, hello Harry and Lola." He greets with that awkward grin of his.

Harry shakes his hand firmly, laughing as they whisper something to each other. "Come with me," Richard speaks before gesturing with his index finger to follow him, leading us to another part of the home.

"Who's that?" I question to Harry before we gaze upon the busty blonde following closely to Richard.

Harry shrugs. "Not sure, think her name is Megan."

I roll my eyes but say nothing else.

Richard welcomes us into the living space with a cocky grin, wrapping his arm around the girl we assumed was Megan. I smile politely at her as Harry tugs me past, holding my hand tightly as he greets the rest of his friends with a loud voice, his normally quiet and alluring demeanour had become quite different since we arrived.

"Guys, you know Lola," Harry's head turns to me for a second, a rather proud smile on his lips. "And you obviously know Ethan and Sean, and Z."

"Hello." I squeak, nerves biting at my skin.

"And this is Sierra." Harry points to a brunette leaning against Ethan, the two look at me with anxiety behind their eyes, I question the behaviour in my mind but choose not to say anything to Harry as we take a seat. As the minutes ticked by I grew more curious by the two, I hadn't communicated with them much so it was obvious my anxieties were getting the best of me in this situation, but their glances of worry made my mind tick.

Perhaps they knew Louis?

The night progresses with laughs and long conversations and soon enough I learn to ignore the strange looks. I sat next to Harry as he drank can after can of beer and talked amongst his friends – mostly about college which made anxious thoughts spill down my soul even more.

But watching Harry made all those fears seem silly, seeing his dimples form against the softness of his cheeks and the sparkle in his eyes as he spoke. He would subtly grace my skin with his fingers or move to wrap his arm around my backside between conversation. I felt odd hiding our affections but somehow it felt more right than anything else in my life, no matter what, it always felt right.

My hands felt cold as I held a drink, the fizzy bubbles keeping me occupied as Harry progressed his conversations with Zayn; something about an art exhibit next year. I sigh, standing to my feet as Harry's eyes graze up my body and to my eyes.

Maybe it was alcohol pacing through my veins, or maybe it was that look in his emerald eyes as he stared into my soul. But somehow I felt grounded, I felt okay looking into his universe and letting it slip me away to another galaxy. My cold hands find his face and I lean down to kiss those soft lips, the air goes quiet as I do so and I don't regret that kiss until the next morning. But for now, I enjoyed him, his taste and his warmth against my skin.

I pull away and smile, watching him move away with a weak grin to his lips. "I'll be back soon." I motion away from his presence and walk away, leaving the air thick as my soul exits the room.

I find myself in the kitchen, searching around for a drink. I decide on a glass of vodka and raspberry soda and quickly make the beverage, letting the sweet liquid soothe the dry feeling in my throat. The kitchen was mostly empty, a few people coming in and out to get drinks. I leant against a counter, sipping my drink as I observed the world around me.

But soon my calm atmosphere disappears when a group of girls walk into the kitchen laughing, my heart begins to race as I notice the blonde hair of Louis' sister. I keen my head down, staring at the fizzy liquid in the cup I held, silently preying she doesn't notice me.

"Lola?" I cringe at her voice. I always hated the way she said my name, always pouring fake honestly into her words as she pronounced her undying affections towards me. She was not my friend, and never would be my family. "Is that you?"

I look up, noticing her thickly coated lashes. "Hi, Charlotte." I smile nervously.

"Oh gosh, it is you." Her smile wasn't genuine, but that mischievous glimmer in her bright eyes was. "Where's my brother?"

"Not sure, probably working." I shrug.

"Funny, I just saw him an hour ago at the pub." Another girl – Emily, speaks now.

"Huh," Charlotte says. "Well, have a good night Lola."

I force a smile to match hers. "You too."

I sigh in relief as she and her friends exit the kitchen, that strong smell of perfume still in the air. I decide to skull my drink, quickly downing its contents before scurrying for another. I pour more vodka this time, making that bitter taste linger on my tongue.

I was wondering what a terrible mess I had created of my life as I exited the kitchen, a horrible ache ripped through my heart all because I was lonely, and a coward. I sigh as I gaze upon the party, people were dancing in the living area as music blasted through the home, I envied their happiness. The sound of the music made my headache, nothing about tonight felt okay and as I took a seat on the steps to let the dull ache in my bones rest, I felt even more uneasy with the skies changing colours.

It felt like hours I sat down on that staircase, going back for a couple more drinks until my world turned hazy. The alcoholic liquid seeped into my blood stream, washing away those guilt-ridden thoughts and aches.

I walk into the living room with a slight stumble, leaning against the wall as I gaze upon Harry outside on the patio. He was beautiful in the moonlight, something about the way the pale light kissed his skin and illuminated his soul. An angel, an artist. I smile as I watch him laugh, squeezing his eyes shut as he lingers next to his friends. I felt light pour through me, but soon it was ripped from me and darkness took over.

I feel a tug on my arm, pulling me backwards as I let go of my drink, the red liquid spilling out on the floor like a puddle of blood. Shock strikes me as I turn to see his piercing blue eyes, a sneer on his lips as he stared at me with pure hatred and anger. He tugs me closer, breath heavy with the taste of alcohol. My heart rapidly beat against my chest, my eyes were wide with his and I knew something was really off about Louis right now – anger aside, he was menacing.

I lower back as he grips tighter, the skin on my pale body turning red in seconds and burning with his touch.

"What the fuck are you doing here with him, Lola?" He growls.

I whimper, tugging away from his hold. "I-I'm not, let me go."

He only grips tighter. "You think you can cheat on me? You're nothing without me, you whore."

Tears fell down my cheek as he grunted anger at me, spitting venom into my veins that burned every fibre of my body down to the ground. I was hurting, both physically and mentally. Eyes were all on us now, the music faded into the background as everyone began to watch the breakdown of Lola Davenport, they all loved to watch miss perfect crumble at his feet as he held her skin tightly.

"Let her go." Harry's raspy voice makes me cry more, a stream of happiness shining through my soul.

"You." Louis snarls. "You took her from me."

It only took a few short seconds and my arm was let go, Louis lunging forward to Harry in pure anger. A loud thud echoes as they hit the floor and I flinch back, tears running down my face. Louis was on top as he began to throw punches into the air, coming down and landing on Harry's face.

All I could do was watch in horror. My blood ran cold as I watched another hit land against Harry's nose, red blood smearing over the white rug and Louis' knuckles. I could feel the impact of his fists against Harry's bones, but his eyes still remained open and alert and for a brief second he looks to me. My soul leaves my body as he looks to me, it felt like the sun on a cloudy day that finally broke through those dark clouds and kisses your skin. Delicate and raw, he told tales with one glance and I felt infinite in that small moment.

In a brief second Louis is dragged from Harry, I flinch back as I watch blood pour from his nose with his frame standing tall once again. He gazes at me with bloodshot eyes, nodding delicately to me before walking up to Louis who was now being held by Z and Richard. I whimper as he snarls at Harry, anger ripping through his soul.

"You never deserved her, Louis." On cue with the crack of Louis' bones, I twist my body to shudder away from the scene. Tears streamed down my face as I heard Harry punch Louis over and over, his cowardly way to take revenge on the pitiful boy.

I briefly glance to Harry who held Louis by the collar but before I watched him hit the blue eyed boy again with such force it would knock him cold, I ran.

I ran to the safest place I could think of.

***

Hello, hope you are all well. Sorry, this was a bit delayed, I've had so much going on so I do apologise if this chapter is a bit boring. BUT! the big reveal happened, shockerrrr.

Votes and comments are awesome, thank you guys so much.

-A