The car was quiet. Uncomfortably so. Theo's fingers stayed gripped around the steering wheel, unmoving. They didn't tap, or jitter, just sat, the muscles beneath the skin shifted only when Theo would turn the wheel to accommodate a slight curve in the road. His heartbeat was soft, even, a slow and gentle beat that would have made him seem calm were it not for the carefully blank face that left Liam's stomach writhing because it was too blank. Too calm. It was the kind of expression Liam had grown used to from the Theo who first arrived in Beacon hills, a practiced look that at first glance seemed casual but once you knew him, it gave the distinct impression that something else, something big, was rattling around inside his brain.

It felt like before a storm, when the birds would stop their squawking and hide somewhere unseen, when dark clouds would roll across the skies like waves and the air would taste like blood. Where the world would hold an unearthly silence that had everyone biting their tongues and waiting for the first crash of thunder to roar through the skies.

It had been an hour. Theo's hair still held the telltale dampness of the rain even though they'd long since left it behind, outrunning the clouds as Theo tore off towards Florida. His hands were flecked with crispy flakes of dried dirt, his freshly washed clothes smeared with streaks from where he'd yanked them on ignoring the fact he was still dripping wet and muddier than Liam had been after he fell in a hole. The road whipped by outside, tree's passing at a speed that would make Liam dizzy if he looked too long.

Liam couldn't bring himself to complain about it. Hoping that maybe, if they went far enough, fast enough, the uncomfortable tension that smothered the car ever since Theo had hopped out to push them from the field, would be left behind them.

He thought about breaking the stillness that suffocated the car. About propping his legs up on Theo's lap and talking about his favourite Disney movies until he fell asleep.

He thought about taking it all back, about how different the moment could be if instead of slapping Theo's hand away from his neck he'd used it to tug him closer.

But Theo didn't look at him, his eyes stayed firmly glued to the road, mouth stuck in an impassive straight line. And Liam had grown used to the looks, how Theo's eyes would drift over every few miles as if to check Liam was still there, he'd grown used to Theo wanting him to still be there. As it was he was fairly sure Theo wanted him anywhere other than right next to him.

He wanted to apologise. But how was he meant to do that when he'd only managed to prove that Theo would be happier in Idaho than he would be with him because despite Theo's blank expression and calm exterior it was painfully obvious he wasn't happy.

The hush kept going, the storm brewing below the surface but the thunder never cracked, the rain never came and the two boys stayed silent.

Liam fell asleep to the hum of an engine and the burn of regret in his gut.

*

He had hoped that by the time they got to Florida the silence would have broken, it had, in a way. But Theo playing the radio just too loud for them to reasonably talk over it wasn't exactly the end of it that Liam had wanted. He'd thought he'd be happy to reach Florida. it meant they were one step closer to Disney World. hell, in a handful of hours they'd be there.

But all Liam could think about was that as it stood he was pretty sure Disney World was the last stop before they were going home. Before Theo would be leaving and how it seemed that to Theo that couldn't happen fast enough. The fact they hadn't gotten pulled over for speeding was a miracle.

"I'll go pick us up some food." Liam jumped when Theo finally spoke, twisting the radio until it was running at a little more than a whisper. "You go book us a room."

"Yeah, okay, I can do that." Liam said, nodding along eagerly. "Or I mean, we can just go eat and book in later, or sleep in the car or-" Theo tossed a roll of notes at him.

"Just text me what room we're in." He sighed. Liam deflated, giving a small nod as he slid out of the truck, hand clutched around the money. Theo pulled away the moment the door was closed, peeling away from the curb and rocketing down the road. Liam turned back to the motel anxiety curling in his stomach. He had the sinking feeling that trying to make Theo happy had done more harm than good.

Liam shouldered open the door to the reception. The harsh smell of stale smoke hitting his nose the moment he was inside. A woman who seemed barely older than Lydia sat behind the small desk, popping gum when she looked up from a magazine eyes narrowing as if she hated Liam for being there.

"Uh...Hi." He said, inching closer. Her tongue poked out as she stretched the gum over it. A moment later she was blowing a bubble. Liam watched as it grew, slowly inflating like a balloon and going see-through as it got thinner and thinner. It popped with a loud crack. She raised an eyebrow. "Could I get a room?"

"How many?"

"Just..one room?" Liam said slowly, the receptionist's eyelids fluttered in distant. Liam worried for a moment that she was going to reach over and slap Liam upside the head.

"How many people." She clarified stiffly. Liam watched as she blew another bubble.

"Two." He hummed, resisting the urge to reach out and pop the growing ball. Luckily it broke again, this time without a crack, a small tear appearing as it deflated sadly. She sucked it back in. A small glob of pink gum stayed attached to her chin. she broke the strand with a quick flick of her tongue.

"King or two queens?" She hummed, wiping at the still hanging piece of gum.

"You mean beds?"

"No, I mean would you rather one decorative monarch or two?" She scoffed. "Of course I mean beds."

"You're not very friendly."

"Kid." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Two queens is what Liam tried to say. It was not, however, what came out.

*

Liam was sprawled across the large king bed, eyes on the ceiling phone ringing in a mockingly jaunty tune as he waited for Mason to pick up. It seemed to take forever before the dial was cutting out and Mason was chirping 'hello' in a way far too cheerful for Liam's current mood.

"I fucked up." Liam moaned.

"Is calling me mid-crisis going to be a thing now?"

"Did you not hear me?" Liam hissed. Mason let out a long sigh.

"Alright, how did you fuck up?"

"I made things...awkward." Liam said. "Like, unbearably awkward. He won't even look at me and he's going to Idaho and-"

"Did he reject you?" Mason asked.

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I kinda said he should go to Idaho and now apparently I'm the kind of person who's okay with tricking people into sharing a bed with me."

"Okay, No. Go back to right after you hung up on me and tell me exactly what happened until now." Mason said urgently. Liam rolled over, eyeing the door and listening for any signs of the truck coming back. When he heard none he started talking.

*

"You told him he doesn't belong in Beacon Hills?" Mason asked for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Yes." Liam sighed.

"And then you ignored your whole 'nothing can happen' and got you two a bed to share without even asking him if he'd be okay sharing a bed with you?"

"Well, it's not like I'm planning on sleeping with him. I mean, I am but like..platonically. You know. Like-"

"Platonically? Yeah, I remember all those times I've tricked my buddies into sharing a bed with me."

"I don't...She asked and I panicked. I wasn't thinking-"

"Then just go and say you said the wrong thing."

"I..don't want to."

"So you want to share a bed with Theo?"

"...Yes...Platonically." Mason let out a scoff at that.

"Are you aware you're an asshole?"

"Hey!"

"No seriously dude that's... just mean. If someone I liked did that to me I'd punch them. That's ......it's cruel. You're dangling the carrot in front of his face."

"My carrot has been nowhere near his face." Liam hissed. Mason made a strange choking sound.

"That wasn't....." Mason broke off. "You know what, it doesn't matter, I just mean. Do you know how many mixed signals you must be giving right now?"

"There are no mixed signals."

"No mixed signals?" Mason said with an actual bark of laughter. "dude, you told him he didn't belong in Beacon Hills and now you're planning on sharing a bed. That's mixed signals. One minute it's 'Please stay away from me forever' and the next it's 'please take me'."

"It's hard!"

"It's hard?" Mason said dubiously.

"Yeah! It's hard. it's like.....okay right, so he's like needing to pee in class." Liam said.

"What?"

"You know. Like...You can need to pee and be fine, it's just that little thing there in the back of your mind like oh I should pee soon, but then the second you ask to go and the teacher says no it's like this all-consuming desperation where if you don't pee in the next three seconds your bladder is going to explode and coat everyone in a three-foot radius in urine."

"I repeat. What?"

"So I liked him before but I didn't know I liked him and so I could ignore it but now, now I know I like him. I've been told I can't pee and the desperation's building, there's no way to ignore the urge to pee anymore."

"And Theo's the urge to pee?"

"No. Liking Theo's the urge to pee! I could ignore it before but now I can't and now I know it's impossible to do freaking anything without thinking oh wouldn't it be nice to hold his dumb hand and kiss his dumb-"

"You want to kiss him?"

"That's not important right now. What's important is that he should go to Idaho but I don't want him to go to Idaho and apparently my mouth is trying to get me in shit by forcing us to share a bed and I don't...Just..what do I do?" Liam ranted.

"I think you pee." Mason said

"What?" Liam hissed. "I can't pee. Peeing would be bad. The toilet is going to Idaho."

"The urge is there. Just because the teachers said you can't pee doesn't mean you won't pee. You remember in second grade when you wet yourself-"

"Didn't need to bring that up but okay-" Liam said with a frown, uncomfortable memories of humiliation fluttering into his brain.

"Just because there isn't a toilet handy doesn't mean you won't still end up going. I get that you're trying to protect yourself, or him, or whatever but not peeing is not a good idea. It's going to end up with you being rushed out of class in wet pants."

"Wait, what? This analogy is confusing me." Liam pondered, eyes tracing the popcorn ceiling.

"Look just..Talk to him. Like an actual human, no analogies, no weird double meanings, No tricking him into bed with you. Just the truth." Mason said. Liam let out a frustrated sigh.

"What's the point?! He's going to Idaho, I can't ask him to stay. He'll be happier-"

"I'm not telling you to ask him to stay. I'm telling you to tell him the truth and let him make the decision. Talk to him."

"We already talked."

"No, by the sounds of it you talked. He sat and let you crush his still debatably present heart."

"Debatably present?"

"He can be a heartless bastard." Mason said. Liam wished it was possible to slap someone over the phone.

"He has a heart." Liam growled. Mason ignored it.

"Look, dude, even Theo deserves to make an informed decision before upending his entire life and moving to Idaho. Maybe you liking him makes him stay, maybe it doesn't but that's his choice to make and he can't make it if he doesn't have all the facts."

"If he stayed for me he'd be a dumbass."

"Then you'd fit together well." Mason said, Liam's lips pulled in a frown.

"Whos side are you on?"

"I'm on the side of you being happy. And apparently you being happy correlates with Theo now so I may not be his biggest fan but I kinda have to be on his side as well if it makes your side happier.."

"What if I do tell him?" Liam asked, chewing his lip. "Then he leaves anyway and we get what, a couple of days? That's not-"

"What about Hayden?"

"What about her?"

"Do you regret being with her? Now you know it ends with her leaving? If you'd known she'd leave would you still have kissed her?"

"Yes." Liam said instantly. "I'd just have done it more."

"Pretty sure you did it enough." Mason snorted.

"Dude."

"What, you were gross with the PDA." Mason laughed, Liam had a moment to grin at the memory of Hayden's lips on his before Mason was talking again. "So you don't regret it?"

"No, of course not." Liam said. "Her leaving sucked but I loved her, I wouldn't trade what we had."

"So why would you regret doing the same with Theo? Sure, maybe you know how it'll end but isn't that better? This way at least you can prepare for it." Mason said softly. Liam gulped, shaking his head. It couldn't be that simple.

"But-"

"If it's going to hurt when he leaves anyway why not say goodbye with no regrets?"

"That's..Well, it's smart but it's not-" Liam tried desperately.

"Listen to Goda."

"Goda?" Liam inquired, brows pinching in confusion.

"Gay Yoda." Mason clarified.

"I hate you so much right now."

"Because I'm talking sense?"

"Because you just said Goda, Isn't that a cheese?"

"That's Gouda." Mason said tiredly. "You like it, it's that one with the red skin."

"I thought that was baby belles?"

"No dude. I mean yeah, but it's way bigger, baby belles are like...little goudas. little plastic Gouda but we're getting off track this isn't about cheese."

"You sure you don't want to tell me your opinions on Monterrey jack?"

"You know you're not going to distract me right?" Mason said, Liam could practically hear his grin. "Tell him, or better yet show him since you apparently can't be trusted to use words." he blinked, mildly insulted.

"You really think I should do something?"

"I really hate to say this because it's a blow to my best friend pride but I haven't seen you smile the way you were the other night since Hayden left and I've never seen Theo actually smile before. For whatever reason you two seem to make each other happy when you're not punching each other."

"We haven't punched each other in ages."

"You said you had a fight in Walmart."

"Well yeah, but that was like almost two weeks ago." Mason paused for a moment, a few garbled words coming out as if he were about to argue that two weeks wasn't actually that long ago. He broke off before he could. "Just talk to him, please?

"I can't. It'll...It'll just screw everything up."

"You drove like ten hours in silence. I'd say it's already pretty screwed up."

"What if you're wrong? What if he doesn't like me? Or he chooses to stay in Beacon Hills and then he hates me because I made him unhappy and we break up ad-"

"Dude, Maybe you should stop thinking about him hypothetically hating you in the future and start thinking about him actually hating you now. If you don't want to tell him you like him fine but you should at least let him know you don't actively want him to leave. Like...let him know he has the option of Beacon Hills if that's what he wants.

"He shouldn't want th-"

"That's his choice man."

"You know I liked you a lot better when you didn't advocate for Theo."

"Don't lie. You know you're loving me sticking up for your boyfriends best interests."

"No! I don't...he's not my...shut up." Liam grumbled, cheeks warming as a smile crept onto his face at the use of the word boyfriend.

"You're blushing, aren't you?"

"No. Shut up." Liam lied. Mason snorted as if he knew that fully well.

"Not even dating yet and he already has you wh-"

"I'm hanging up."

"Don't screw it up this time."

"I got this." Liam said. "Thanks Mase-"

"Goda is always here to help."

*

Liam only thought about the room situation again once he heard Theo's truck pulling into the parking lot. He waited, staring at the door as he heard the truck's engine cut off and Theo's feet scuffing across the concrete. He had got a room with one bed. How the hell was he meant to explain that without sounding like a creep? The door swung open before Liam could panic too much. Theo marching in only to freeze almost as soon as his feet were over the threshold. A bag of food dangled between his fingers when his eyes settled on the bed.

"They're really busy. Only had Kings left." Liam lied, praying for his heart rate to stay steady. Despite the fact he was sure he heard a small flutter in it Theo didn't seem to, just gave a small nod eyes swinging away from the bed as he walked further into the room. The bag of food hit the table with a small clunk. Liam took the takeaway box as it was thrust at him, mouth uncomfortably dry when he replayed Mason's 'Trust in Goda' pep talk in his head."So Hey, I was thinking-" Liam's words died in his throat as Theo's eyes moved to meet him. His gaze swept away again a moment later.

Just say it. Liam thought. He swallowed the lump in his throat, shifting in his seat as his eyes followed Theo still riffling for his own food. He opened his mouth and let out a small strangled sound. Liam wished that it wasn't that that finally got Theo to look at him properly for the first time that day. His forehead creasing as his eyes roamed over Liam as if checking for an injury. Just say something. Liam thought desperately. He let out another sound. Theo opened his mouth- Anything!

"I have to pee." Liam finished. Theo's eyebrow arched.

"Okay." Theo said slowly. Liam stayed seated, heart racing. "What? You waiting for a hall pass or something?"

"No?"

"Was that a question?" Theo asked, Liam shook his head. Theo stayed waiting almost expectantly. "Well? Are you gonna go then?"

"What? Oh..yeah..totally."

After a short trip to the bathroom where Liam ran the tap to make it sound like he was using it and sent Mason a panicked handful of texts that consisted of 'abort mission' and other equally as dramatic phrases, Liam was ready to try again. He poked his head out of the door and spotted Theo instantly, feet kicked up on the table as he dug into his own food.

Blurting it out wouldn't be a good idea, surely it was rude to just scream your interest at someone. It would be like catcalling, but while Theo was stuck dealing with him and being forced to share a bed. Liam wracked his brain for a conversation starter. If they could just start talking then-

"Sandcastles!" Liam yelped. Theo fumbled with the box, barely managing to stop his food from tumbling to the floor, head snapping round, eyes meeting Liam's wide and bemused. "Uh-"

Why did Hayden ever date you? Liam thought, cringing at himself.

"So, It's only like an hour drive to the beach. What do you say we go tick sandcastle building off your list?" Liam improvised. Theo's brow pinched.

"Not in the mood. Maybe another day." Theo said, he didn't have to hear his heart to know it was a lie. "You should eat before it gets cold. I'm gonna take a shower." He plopped his food back onto the table and went to stand up.

"You should finish eating too." Liam said. "Cold fries are gross so.." Liam swooped to the table, sitting down next to Theo and yanking his own food over. Theo eyed his food for a moment before he slowly reached for it.

Start a conversation Liam thought, taking a deep breath. And one not about sand.