me, jungkook and jimin talked and laughed a lot we kept fooling around while playing truth or dare and then we decided to play hide and seek, I told them that we can hide anywhere we want

we decided that I will have to find jimin and jungkook, I counted to 20

I looked around the living room but no one was here I looked behind the couch and any place that could be good for hiding, then I went upstairs looking around all the room doors were closed

I was staring at the closed doors when a memory hit me, from four years

-flashback-

it's been a week since that accident...

I went upstairs and stare at the closed door of my parent's bedroom, I slowly opened the door to be greeted by emptiness, no one was there and it was so cold that night

I fell on the cold ground crying and shouting, hoping that the door will open and my parents will come to hold me tight between their arms

-end of flashback-

a tear rolled down my cheeks as I opened my parent's bedroom door, and again it's empty and cold, I stare at our pictures hanging on the wall, I couldn't help myself but cry, I held a small frame that has our picture in it me,mom and dad all of us were happy and smiling

I spoke quietly

my head felt heavy, my body felt weak and I started to shake, the frame fell from my hands and the glass that was covering the picture broke into many pieces, I couldn't stand anymore, my legs gave up and I fell on the ground and hit my head, my vision started to blur, I could hardly breathe

then everything went black

We were hiding in yoomi's room, I was under her bed and jungkook was standing behind the door

he was whispering

I was interrupted by the sound of broken glass then a loud thud

jungkook left the room

I saw a room with an open door and it wasn't open before

Jungkook was looking in the bathroom, he came to where I was standing, I pointed at the open door

He nodded

I walked ahead of jungkook, as we entered the room my eyes widen in fear

I rushed to her

He pointed at the broken frame, tiny pieces of glass were all over the place

Jungkook went downstairs to the living room where he has left his phone

I held yoomi in my arms, she's cold as ice but her forehead is burning

I held her tight in my arms and hug her

damn it! Where's the phone!?

*buzz ring buzz*

I picked up my phone that was on the couch

With that, i ended the call

I called the ambulance, i rushed upstairs

I went to yoomi's room to find her lying on her bed and jimin sat on the edge of the bed

He nodded

I looked at yoomi's lifeless body and felt sad

I hope she'll be ok...

I snapped out from my thoughts

I shook my head

He sighed

I sat near him

Ugh, this kid! I can't believe that he ended the call!

I feel that there's something wrong...

It's already midnight now and still, yoomi didn't answer my texts she didn't even read them...

I opened her notes once again and continue reading

/20-9-2014 Saturday

Since that time i had gone to the hospital, everything had changed... i started taking medicine when i wake up, when i sleep, when i eat, cry, feels sad... the doctor told me that i have a permanent depression that might lead to suicide... i couldn't believe it at first but as days went by it was true i was always sad and quiet, i changed alot, i can't believe that this had happened to me...it feels so unreal though, or it's just my mind trying to deny this reality.../

I felt hurt

My eyes widen at the second note

It's the first time that i see that she wrote a note exactly after one day from the last one

/21-9-2014 Sunday

...i.. i really don't how to say it ... but i lost everything...this depression is taking everything from me!... i did something that i never thought i would ever do it... i had cut myself with a blade...i don't know why i did it but i felt so numb at that moment, but you know? After seeing the blood drip down my wrist i smiled, i finally smiled after all of this, but a part of me was screaming not to do this...not to harm myself.../

I can't believe what i just read...did she just cut herself? But why?...

A tear rolled down my cheeks as i continued reading

/'monster'

10-10-2014 Friday

Monster huh?... am i a monster?... if no then why does everyone bully me at school? I'm really tired of this... it just keep happening every day!! I can't take it anymore! And these days my parents are always fighting and angry... and they shout at me for cutting myself, I'm just addicted to it! And they keep telling me to stop! They don't know that by shouting like this they only make it worse... they didn't even try to help me, my father is at work most of the time and so on my mom... while me pff I'm at home alone... and it hurts...people just keep judging me for cutting , they say I'm crazy, stupid, loser and a big FAILURE...i hate this life i only want to be alone no one can hurt me.../

Yoomi...

I couldn't help but cry

I wish i was there for you to help you...

I wish that i could have been with you at that time to comfort you...