Listen to "Demons" by Imagine Dragon.

Callum's right arm was wrapped around my shoulder as we walked side by side along the street.

It was almost midnight, we spent the evening together just moving from street to street, visiting any exciting place we find and had dinner at this really cute Japanese restaurant. It was so adorable and the food was really good.

The evening was simple. I tried my best to appear as happy and as comfortable around Callum as I should be.

The makeup Lucy did on me worked wonders in hiding the heavy dark circles under my eyes, my skin looked healthier rather than pale and the dress I wore was enough to cover up the weight loss.

I hadn't noticed the pounds I lost until today when I was ravaging in my closet looking for anything that would make me look fatter than I actually was. I almost cried.

"Why's so quiet?" Callum asked me. "You haven't said a word ever since we left that restaurant. Is everything okay? You can talk to me."

Recently the voices in my head are getting louder. I hear them all the time, and no matter how hard I try to shut them up they just get louder and louder.

When they get too loud I prefer not to speak. I can barely hear my own thoughts in between the whispers.

Being near Callum makes the sounds linger. The guilt amplifys the noise.

May be if I tell him the truth I can finally be free from this torture.

I stopped walking and faced Callum. He had this look in his eyes as he waited for me to say anything.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He drew me closer to him. "I'm here if you need to get something out your chest." He assured.

He must have noticed my uneasiness.

"I need to tell you something." I muttered nervously as my eyes roamed his face. I couldn't decipher his expression very well. He always looks calm and collected.

"Okay. What is it?"

Don't tell him anything, the voices started.

Are you insane? He's going to be crushed when he finds out. He'll hate you.

You're heartless than I thought. So you want to tell him that you let his bestfriend fuck you? You really are stupid. William was right about that.

You'll ruin the friendship he has with James just like how you ruined the one you have with William. Is that what you really want? To destroy a friendship so you can feel good about yourself.

You don't deserve peace remember. Peace is for good people. Whores like you should be miserable. You deserve to be sad and alone, drowning in your shame.

He's going to finally see the kind of slut you are. He'll stay miles away from you. Then you can add him up to the list of people who are done with you.

He won't ever trust you again. No one trusts a whore.

"Callum..." I began. "The tru..." I stopped.

I can't do this.

"Don't feel pressured Lisa. You don't have to tell me right now if you don't feel comfortable." He told me.

"Its William, we haven't been on right terms lately and he crossed my mind." I half lied.

William isn't the reason I've been quiet. Either way, we aren't in the best of terms so half of what I said is true.

"Who's William?" Callum inquired curiously.

I'd forgotten about that.

I never told Callum about William, it didn't come up. And since William wants nothing to do with me, I figured what's the point?

"My best friend." I respond sadly. I'm not sure if Its right to call him that anymore. William is more friendly with Lucy than with me. They hung out so much often and I feel so left out. He doesn't even look at me in the same way.

"He wouldn't talk to me. I've known him half my life and now we're like strangers. William was the only true friend I had. The only one who stack around and put up with me. I don't know what to do." I didn't hesitate to say those things. Callum is usually a good listener. He has listened to me rant about little stuff like classes being cancelled and too much ketchup in the hot sauce.

"Did something serious happen?" He lightly squeezed my shoulder in a comforting way. "An argument?"

I nodded.

"It was bad." I confessed. "I can't fix it, I've tried."

There is no going back now. William's opinion of me is really messed up. And who can blame him for thinking those things? He's right about everything. And as much as I want to go back to the days when we were close, I know it's impossible. I've ruined us.

"I'm sorry babe." He kissed my temple in a soothing way. He moved infront of me and pulled me into a warm hug.

I wanted to hug him back , but the voices started screaming in my head and red lights just went on.

Push him away. He'll hate you the moment he discovers your betrayal when all he ever does is treat you right.

No! pull him closer so he doesn't suspect anything.

He cares and you don't deserve to be cared or comforted by him after cheating on him.

He's trying to make you feel better, you should be feeling worse.

Push him away.

I froze. What should I do?

"It'll be okay." Callum wiped my tears with his palm while keeping me in his hold. "It won't always be this way."

I didn't even notice I was crying until he began kissing my wet cheeks.

I just stood there.

"I want to get some sleep." I told him. His eyes locked with mine in confusion and I shifted my gaze to the ground. "It's getting cold and am tired."

I don't want to be out here with him anymore. I only feel guilty and ten times more miserable each moment I see his sweet smile and bright blue eyes. When he shows his affection and care it makes me sad because deep down I know I don't deserve it.

And when he kisses me and hugs me, it doesn't feel right anymore. At first it felt so comforting and an escape but now, it feels wrong. Like all the things he does aren't suppose to be done with me.

What would you do? If you cheated on a good man with his bestfriend. How would you tell him without hurting him, without losing him? I can't tell him. I can't.

Callum pulled me into a hug again and began rocking me. We stood there for a while, me in-between his arms until the tears dried. I was drained, numb and tired. The voices sounded like annoying whispers in the background.

Callum dropped me at NYU campus about an hour later. He walked me to my dormroom. We stood by the door.

"Get some rest and take care of yourself." He advised. "I'll see you tomorrow right.?" He asked hopefully.

I nodded my head. I couldn't find a good excuse to refuse. I used to enjoy his company. But now I dread on the thought of seeing him again.

He smiled.

Callum wrapped his arms around me. "Don't stress yourself about it as much. He'll come around." He said.

I wasn't comfortable but I let him try and soothe me.

His palms cupped my cheeks as he planted his lips on mine.

He kissed me once, moving his lips chastely. I leaned into his mouth to reciprocate, ignoring the red lights and warning bells.

Callum has the smoothest lips, they feel nice.

"Good night." He said above my lips as his warm breathe fanned my cheeks.

"Good night."

________

I walked into the room and left the lights off upon noticing Lucy sleeping soundly on her bed. It's a rare sight. She's always out at these hours doing I don't know what.

I sat on my bed after removing my shoes. There was a folded piece of paper placed next to my pillow.

I reached for it.

Who placed this here? I thought. Could've been Lucy, or if I'm Lucky, William.

I turned my side lamp on and leaned on the headboard. I unfolded the heavy paper.

When I opened the paper, I knew exactly who wrote it. The paper was in braille. There's only one person I know who can read and write the language of the blind aside from myself.

It was one of the few qualities that drew me to the person. I was shocked that he would write to me. That he would resort to this. The last thing I expected was to hear from him after doing all I can to avoid him. I thought he'll give up on his pursuits and finally leave me the heck alone.

I debated on whether to read the note or to dump it in the trash. The voices in my head were in loud screams and the ringing made it impossible to comprehend what they were saying.

I placed my fingers on the dots printed on the paper carefully and closed my eyes as I took a deep breathe. I traced the writting trying to read them from the heart. It's been a while since I've read anything in braille.

I don't know why but my heart pounded so hard against my ribcage. At the same time, as I began to read, the voices stopped.

The first thing that left my mouth was a laugh. A real laugh.

Visualizing James waking up in the morning and printing in braille. He was never a morning person.

The first night that I and James met, we talked about alot of things. I discovered he could read braille. That was one out of many things we had in common.

I frowned.

I reread the note three times after that.

It was smart of him. Writing this letter in braille meant only I could read it. That it was for my hands and eyes alone.

That's a stupid thing to think.

Perhaps he's doing this to get my attention. Wait, James is really doing this to get my attention.

So I can talk to him. Or may be he just wants to know how I'm doing.

Perhaps he genuinely cares.

I hate the voices, but I wish they were here to whisper their opinions. To contradict each other and drive me insane. Then I would stop thinking about James and start drowning in self loathing. Its way better than dealing with this. To deal with the strange feeling in my chest when I read the note. Like I'm angry but a little relieved.

Angry because James won't leave me alone. Because he has the nerve to do this after causing trouble for me.

Relieved because may be the voices won't last forever. If they can seize even for a minute like how they are doing now, then may be they'll eventually leave me.

Now I'm left with my own thoughts. It's been a while. Being the only voice in my head is starting to feel strange.

I wonder how he did it?

He made them stop without even being here.

I opened me side drawer and took out my note pad.

____