I didn't anticipate it, atleast not intentionally. I hate mirrors, it was a big mistake on my part. But that's what got me to this point. Where my senses aren't working with me anymore. It feels like this isn't my mind. Like I don't have control.

I try opening my eyes, but they don't budge. My eyelids feel heavy and my body sore. I know exactly where I am, the smell of this place is so clear. His cologne everywhere.

Earlier this morning I went through something. It's strange how stuff can take a ninety degree turn in a matter of second. I was so scared, but most of all, I felt like wanting to die. I've never felt that way before. Not even in the past when I was an object of bullying and slander. This time it was so different.

The only thing I wanted was for everything to stop. For the pain to stop. And the preying agony, and the suffocating grief. Never before has such a wave hit me. I remember calling out for him. Wanting him to make the voices stop but he wasn't there.

If tears could be borrowed, I'd be bankrupt. I recall Lucy screaming my name. Asking what the heck is happening to me, but I wasn't sure if it was really her or the images.

I used to think it couldn't get any worse than this. That the voices are the only things coming out of my mistakes. But when I saw them, when I witnessed those voices turning into people, I knew from that moment I was loosing my mind.

And that was my undoing.

________

Lucy wasn't there when I woke up. I knew she hadn't left campus because her bag and laptop lay on her bed. Either she went to have breakfast or to deal with something for a short while.

I took that as an opportunity to freshen up.

My body was still in pain from the beating I endured yesterday from Merissa and Emily. I had visible bruises and some of the wounds began to bleed again.

I needed to do things fast. Lucy finding me in such a condition wouldn't be any good.

I got off bed and limped to the bathroom. Lucy left the lights on. It was already bright day, probably nine o'clock in the morning. She gets forgetful sometimes and who can blame her? College is tough as it is and you can't deal with everything at times.

Little things tend to skip your mind before you can notice them.

"Damn that hurt." I cursed when I accidentally tripped on my feet and fell down on my side. My ribs were sore thus the aching pain.

After recollecting myself, I went into the bathroom. I opened the door slowly and shut it behind me.

I needed the kit.

Bandaging the wounds again was the first thing in mind.

I avoided looking at the mirror as I approached the drawer. I knew my face would scare me. It ached the most which means it got the heaviest blows. My right eye was still shut closed. Water dripped from it and I really didn't want to touch it.

But I needed to atleast wash my face.

I reached for the kit at the shelf and sat on the toilet seat. It took me atleast fifteen minutes to finish treating the bruises and cuts.

The tap water was cold. I bend down and splashed the freezy liquid on my face. It stung a bit but it was tolerable.

After washing my face, I grabbed a towel and wiped myself dry slowly, careful with the injures.

Then per usual, I glanced at the mirror. It was a risky move.

I gasped in shock the moment I saw my reflection. I couldn't recognize myself. The only thing that remained the same was my bright green blue left eye.

Sure, they beat me up, but I didn't really realize how bad it was until I glanced at my swollen purple cheeks. My bruised lips and the ugly black marks on my exposed shoulders and collerbones. I could see my bruised arms.

I was about to look away when I saw William's reflection on the mirror. I flinched.

"That's what you get for not using you head." He voiced.

I turned around almost immediately but he wasn't there. Confusion run through me. What the hell is going on?

"We told you so! When we're done with you, you wouldn't dare attempt getting involved with men who aren't yours." I heard Merissa's voice. It sounded so real, as if she was right there.

I closed my eyes.

"Shut up." I commanded my mind. I didn't want to her those damn voices again.

"We aren't in your head so don't bother shutting us up." Yeimy said.

Yeimy?

I opened my eyes again and chocked on my spit the instant I saw the bathroom crowded with people.

"The ugly got uglier, what a shame." Frank walked closer to me, his eyes cold and alarming. I placed my palm above my mouth.

"We're never gonna leave you alone Betty. We're part of you." I almost screamed when I saw Carlos. I hate him. I've hated him for years for making my life a living hell. His blonde hair roughly messed up. They all looked crazy.

"Get out of my head." I pleaded.

I tried to limp backwards but my back hit the sink. I hitched when I felt a sharp pain from my side.

"You need us here to remind you of what a useless piece of trash you are Elisabeth." That was Henrietta's annoying rant.

I could see them all, Carlos, Yeimy, Henrietta, cynthia, Eluis, Patrick, Gregory, The principal, Jonathan even Merissa and Emily and William.

"The past will always come back to hunt you." They told me.

"." I thought.

"As you should." Callum's voice rang in my ears. What is he doing here? Please go away? I can't do this.

"I've been kind to you. And what do I receive from that?" He screamed in my face, his blue eyes burning with rage. "Where did you even get the nerve? I thought you cared about me. Now I know you have no scruples."

This can't be real. God please no.

"Shut up."

They all started laughing.

I felt sweat dripping from my forehead as my heart pounded fast. I needed air. I can't breath.

I began to pant.

"You should've taken my advice and killed yourself." Carlos was holding a blade between his fingers. "What's there to live for."

Tears streamed slowly on my cheeks.

"You don't know anything." I choked out.

"Of course we do." They all spoke together smirking at me. I shifted uncomfortably. I felt so submerged in the crowd.

"Nobody is around anymore Betty. We don't need you in our lives. You're an emotional burden that neither of us wish to bare." William said to me.

" I reminded myself.

"It's me Betty. And guess what? I've realised what a selfish little brat you truly are. I'm done with you just like the rest." He spat.

"You don't mean that." I cried. "You said you love me. You promised me."

Something in my heart tightened. I couldn't breath and I swallowed hard to relieve the feeling.

"Loved, past tense. I used to love you. That ship has sailed." He mocked me.

I placed my hands against my ears. "Keep quiet."

I bit my lip hardly until I tasted blood.

"You deserve to be alone." They said. "To die alone. Why don't you just end it here and now Elisabeth? Mummy doesn't even care about you. She never wrote back and daddy hates you. Remember when he told you that? How Jonathan tried to rape you, he almost succeeded. That's the only thing you're good for. Being used. That time when Gwen drugged you and took naked photos of you. Everyone saw your disgusting body. And that one time when the school's principal tried to abuse you. Remember how his hands touched you. How he managed to stick his disgusting fingers inside you before anyone could stop him. He harassed you. He couldn't sleep with you because you fought him off hard but we all know he wanted to destroy you. He even got you kicked out of school. Die already."

I was on the verge of throwing up.

They were bringing everything into the surface. Everything from the past.

"No... you're lying to me." I screamed at them. "Get out of my head."

"We aren't leaving." They moved closer. "And you can't chase us out of here."

I shut my eyes tighter again.

"Nobody wants you Betty. Lucy feels sorry for you that's why she's still there. But when she gets fed up like me, she'll leave." I could hear Will's voice.

No...it's not Will. He would never say that to me.

"Dirty, stupid girl, shameless bag of shit. Who everyone always puts aside because she ain't worthy of love." They sang it in sync. Like a broken record, over and over again.

"You have nothing and nobody left. Where are your brothers now? Gone. They could never stand you." The voices repeated.

"Look at us." They screamed.

No .....I told myself.

Don't look.

I slowly knelt on the floor, pressing my eyes firmly.

"What's there to fight for?" They told me much louder. "End it."

"Shut up....shut the fuck up." I screamed again. "Leave me alone."

"We're never going to stop. It doesn't work that way."

"Lies." I bit my bottom lip. The taste of iron was so strong on my tongue as blood gashed out of the bruised lip.

"The only way out of this is by ending it."

The voices got louder and louder. I pulled my hair when I couldn't take it anymore.

"Make it stop." I flinched pacing nervously. "I don't want to hear anymore."

"Of course you do." It echoed in my mind.

I found myself calling out to the only person I knew would get the voices to stop.

"Betty, why are you screaming." It sounded like Lucy, her voice was hoarse, panicked and rushed, as if scared. I could feel her hands on my shoulders. "What happened to you? Who hurt you like this?"

"She wants you to dissappear as well. She never liked you. She's pretending to care." The voices yelled in echoes.

"Shut the fuck up. Leave me alone." I muttered against my throat.

"I'm trying to help you." I heard Lucy.

Is it even her?

"I don't want to die." I confessed.

"What are you talking about? We need to get you to a hospital." I think that was Lucy. May be not.

"Just end it here and now." It repeated.

I got up instantly. I opened my eye and the bathroom was even more crowded.

I don't know how I did it, what road I took. Which way and what time I arrived there.

I remember shutting down the voices when they insisted I jump infront of a car. When they told me to get to the highest floor of any building and drop down.

I remember being relieved when I got inside his apartment and saw him sitting there on his sofa with a braille type writer by the table.

I remember begging him to make them stop and his green eyes staring down at me in worry.

I remember him holding me in his arms on the floor and telling me it's going to be okay.

I remember witnessing the images disappear until all I saw were those shades of green.

Then it went black.

___________