Listen to "Skyfall" by Adele

I replayed James and Callum's argument in the depth of my mind. The backlashes, the truths, the ugly, the confessions and the blows.

I walked silently across the crowded streets of New York city. The night lights and sirens of moving vehicles mixed with chants of people having conversations drew my attention.

I used to love the idea of this City more than anything. I thought of nothing else but finally leaving Orlando to survey and memorise the sites of New York. I had a dream. That dream gave me a reason to cope with everything.

I doubt that dream exists now.

I wiped my tears with the thick layers of James's hoodie and kept on walking. The cold air burned my flushed cheeks and I palmed the skin there to create warmth.

I spotted a phone booth by the end of the street next to a post office. Ravaging through the pockets of the sweat pants that I wore to perhaps find any lose change I can use to make a call.

I exhaled in relief when a hundred dollar bill and some cents came out of the joggers. I walked to the booth and slipped in the coins, dialing the number of the last person left to turn to.

"Hello." I heard her clear voice on the other side of the line. "Meghan Vance speaking."

I released a weary and shallow breathe.

"Aunty." I mustered to speak with a hoarse tone. I rarely refer to her as Aunt.

"Betty?" Meghan called out expectantly. "Sweety, is that you?"

I placed a hand above my mouth to muffle a cry as I tightly shut my eyes.

"Elisabeth?"

"I have nowhere else to go." I managed hesitantly holding back the tears. I bite hard the trembling lip and grasped the pay phone tightly. I can't return to campus. Facing Lucy and perhaps William feels like to much to handle especially after almost collapsing in James's apartment.

"Where are you?" She inquired instantly.

I stuttered failing to talk because of how sore my throat felt. It's been a long night.

"Darling tell me the exact location and I come find you." She urged worried.

I managed to provide an address.

"Wait for me okay, don't go anywhere else. If there's a restaurant or safe place near by then you can settle inside." She instructed. "Aunty's coming for you."

I hiccuped a thank you before the line went dead.

I leaned against the tinted glass of the booth and closed my eyes.

Flushes of the previous scenario clouded my thoughts. I'll never forget the way Callum looked at me when he walked into that apartment. His wide eyes, the way his shoulders shrugged in defeat and the sadness. He was so crushed.

James tried to explain that we weren't doing anything wrong. That he aimed at protecting me and it wasn't his intention to hide anything from Callum.

I didn't even know anyone was searching for me. I assumed they didn't bother but turns out they looked everywhere and James hide that fact. I pleaded with Callum to believe and trust me but he saw no sense.

James raged at Callum for throwing accusations and insults. I tried to stop the fight but they lunged at each other and I couldn't do anything. Callum felt betrayed and he had every right to lash out on us but James was to proud to watch Callum confront us about anything. James claimed he had logical reasons and that it wasn't his fault I run to him first.

"How could you? Both of you. I was loosing my mind driving around New York like a mad man and this entire time she's been here. Coaxed into your embrace as I dropped everything trying to find her." Callum cracked. "What sort of friend are you? You tiptoe with my girlfriend as if I don't matter. Like everything we've built over the years meant nothing to you."

Callum turned to face me.

"I trusted you Elisabeth. I thought you'd be different and loyal and honest. But you let James hide you from me as I tore myself apart looking for you." He spat. "Going behind my back to be with my best friend." The accusations kept coming.

"I had no idea." I repeated again as hot streams of tears flowed from my eyes. "If I'd known then...."

"Stop." He interrupted harshly. "You're nothing but a liar."

The rest happened in a blurry red and black hue. James popped off as soon as Callum landed a blow across his face. Before I could even stop it, James was flooding. Punch and punch until red formed on their fists.

"I sure as hell don't regret sleeping with her three days after you claimed her yours." James ranted at Callum, punching his jaw as Callum froze. "Or the day after that."

My knees connected with the tiled floor in a moment of weakness. I doubted that James registered his own words when altering the digits because he doubled back once realising what he said.

Callum leaned on the wall panting as the sentence hit him, hard.

There's nothing I could've said right then to fix the damage once made. My heart broke and trumpled as I hated myself.

Callum glanced at me displaying hurt, disbelief, anger and pain. Everything Callum said to me after James's confession were sharp knives and arrows pointed at my deepest hurt. He wasn't kind and it was deserved.

If hearts could bleed, I'd be drench in red and muscle.

"Don't dare disrespect her that way moron. Especially after what you were planning to do with her." James grabbed Callum's shirt. "Playing innocent while plotting malice. You can't fool me."

That was the final blow directed at my wounded heart. Discovering the plot designed at using me as a distraction so that Callum can move on from another woman. That precise truth made me question everything. Did what we have mean nothing to Callum? Was it all a lie?

"Elisabeth wasn't even in our lives back then." Callum defended. "Quit spitting crap."

"Yet you never verified cancelling it." James backlashed. "You led Adrian believe that Betty is a mere distraction. And you decided to push through with everything. Look, clearly you turned her into your girlfriend."

I had no fight left in me. Once again I was reduced to something I feared the most. A tool.

I walked out the door with million bloody pieces of my heart against my tight sleeves. When Callum caught up to me, I just stared at his blue eyes and wondered how such a beautiful perfect shade of blue can stain so deeply. But I couldn't blame him. I wasn't present witnessing that agreement being made. Yet I was stuck between a man and a vow. It was the fickleness in my fate. That cruel and merciless fate of mine that crossed our paths together and forced us to met. Who's to blame for that? Nobody.

James tried to stop me leaving. But this time around, there was no more reasons for me to stay. I literally had nothing left, not even my heart.

In a split second, I felt like my conciousness stepped out of my body. And I was standing there at a distance, staring at my life and the situation I was succumb to. Suddenly everything was so clear and simple. I saw my life for what it truly was. No good.

I knew in that moment the harsh realities of the past must always be faced. If I don't make peace with my past, I won't have a future.

Wherever I'd run to, the demons are constantly going to follow.

Its time to stop running from myself and expecting to grow out off what I had been through by escaping. If I can't even look back and accept the dispeakable things that were done to me and truly move on then thats basically lying to myself and its not fair.

I walked out of James's life and Callum's and whoever at that instant. I was done.

They probably didn't realise it. I hadn't told them. So they let me step out that building when I claimed needing fresh air.

Honestly, I still can't breathe.

I opened my eyes and placed the pay phone back.

I stepped out of the booth and entered a fast food restaurant. I glanced around and sat myself at a seat closest to the door. I ordered water.

An hour later, I recognized Meghan from across the street and walked upto her. Her eyes inspected my face and attire cautiously as she moved towards me. I failed to avert my teary gaze from hers. I saw the pity there.

A sad smile formed on her soft features as she embraced me into a hug. "Oh darling, so sorry." She noticed the quivering.

I hitched as the drops covered my cheeks. A painful noise escaped my lips and Meghan hugged me tighter as I cried.

"I c_cant ......" I stuttered hugging her back. "Breathe."

"Everything's going to be alright." She encouraged rubbing my back. "Everything's going to be just fine."

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