An update.

Heaviness.

Every corner of my upper body felt squished as an unfamiliar weight engulfed my waist, mimicking a million pounds worth of smooth muscle.

I tried shifting in my sleep to perhaps attain a more comfortable position but it was hard moving. I was exhausted, no part of me wanted to be disturbed first hand, the heaviness was sadly not helping. And I had a serious headache. My head hurt so badly.

Warmth.

It was unexpectedly hot.

I prompted my lidded eyes open and instantly realised that Enos was sleeping peacefully while spooning me on the bed as he buried his face on my neck.

His arm was encircling me, plastering our bodies together. Legs tangled, both of us twisted in bed sheets and last night's clothing was scattered on the floor.

Pause.

"What happened?" My voice was barely audible but hoarse and my throat a bit sore and scratchy.

Enos was still rested, unable to respond.

Before panic managed to drown me in a wave of shock, apparently, I'd used Enos's other arm as a pillow and his Tshirt as a night gown while he wore his briefs.

I exhaled in relief and then proceeded to raise the covers a bit more and take a clear sneak peek of what laid inside the sheets.

Note, only his boxer briefs.

I quickly stopped glancing at his clothed crotch.

This scene is seriously______confusing.

I remember drinking and laughing and abusing food. Nothing aside from that.

It was odd, never have we slept in this style. Almost bare and revealed.

But Enos and I could never do that specific act even as drunk and wasted half concious minds. He wouldn't let that happen.

Right?

Juggling my mind for any memories of what may have happened last night after lasagna and amounting to nothing, I decided to rather get up, take a quick shower and then drink pain killers.

Sure, I can't remember much aside from dinner and a few drinks but It's okay. As long as I don't feel any different aside from the massive headache that I badly want to get rid off then there's no need to worry.

Plus, I trust Enos. Having sex while we're both incredibly wasted is something that he'd avoid. And I can't ever instigate anything of that sort, even while drunk. Basically, I trust myself as well.

William taught me a million times how to handle liquor. And he's a pretty good teacher. So I don't want to dig up last night, I'm sure absolutely nothing happened.

There's one thing though, how did I end up wearing Enos's tshirt and the rest of my clothes roaming all over the floor? We were in the livingroom, I don't remember us moving into his bedroom.

But then again, if nothing happened, what is there to worry about? I just hope Enos didn't help me take of those clothes, cause then he'd have seen me naked. Only James has set eyes on every corner and I want it to remain that way.

Enos is a heavy sleeper so getting out of bed without waking him up wasn't hard.

I began picking up our discarded clothes from the floor then folding the garments slowly. My head was pounding against my skull and I figured to rather get pills first before having a shower.

Luckily, Enos had painkillers by his bathroom shelf, Lots of those actually.

It made me wonder, Does Enos occasionally get migraines or something? He had some of the strongest painkillers out there. Why would Enos even need Morphine?

Morphine? That's intense.

I didn't dwell on that and instead grabbed aspirins and a paracetamol pill. Hopefully, that may help. I have never been drunk before but I guess there is a first time for everything.

I glared at Enos's huge tshirt as I took it off. It made me feel smaller than I really was. Last time checking, I was gaining the shredded pounds lost during my short life crisis back in New York City.

Thank heavens that ended.

Walking by the mirror to examine my current physical attire and praying I don't look worse than I feel, I gasped loudly at my messed up reflection.

"Oh my God." I breathed. "No no no no___way."

What in the name of____

The door of the bathroom flew open as Enos stepped inside, seemingly worried out of his damn mind. His eyes still puffy and red due to sleep.

"Are you alright?" He held the door, eyes checking everywhere to pin point the source of my panic. "I heard you scream."

Did I scream?

It took me a second to register that I was half naked, wearing my underwear.

"Leave." I bluntly stated while covering my chest. "Get the FUCK out."

Shit.

Enos stared at me perplexed and stunned at my choice of slurs directed at him.

"Elisabeth, its not what you're thinking." He immediately affirmed upon realising the matter at hand. "I can explain."

Something actually happened between us!

I picked up his t-shirt from the floor and threw it at him. "GET OUT."

"Listen_" Enos tried to convince.

Shut up.

"Can you please just leave me alone for once?" The tone of my voice was vibrant and shakey and sharp.

I saw the hurt in his expression and how desperately he wanted to clarify the situation but I wasn't ready to hear any of it. What can he possibly say to justify last night?

The images kept coming in my head, flashes, dots and dots filling the puzzle.

Enos shut the door behind him as he existed.

"Elisabeth." He called against the wooden barrier.

All I did was stare at the myself by the glass in owe and disbelief.

Bites, hand prints and hickeys. I had those on my neck, breasts, belly, shoulders___

I bet they're under my skin too, painted there.

"Nothing happened," Enos assured, his voice low and softer than I have ever heard it. "We didn't sleep together."

I know we haven't done that but seeing Enos was triggering memories of the events taken place at his livingroom.

"Believe me." He cooed again. "I could never do that to you."

What horrifies me about the whole thing is ME!

I caused everything.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I should be the person apologizing.

Christ.

The mental picture of me taking off my clothes infront of Enos made me want to hang myself.

"Take it out on my body. I don't minded the pain."

That was the line I used while sited on his lap wearing only my panties.

"Ughhhh..." I groaned in pure anger at myself.

I even remember how he insisted that we might regret everything the next day and further complicate our friendship.

And what did I reply Enos with after he stated logic?

"To hell with that." I told the man.

Why_Did I have to embarrass myself in that way? Placing Enos in that uncomfortable situation as I literally_literally, Oh God, begged him to make a mess of me.

That was another thing I said. "Make a mess of me."

I sounded like a freaking whore.

He was trying to avoid escalating the scene further but I kept on pushing and pushing the heated moment.

I even used the feelings Enos had for me as leverage to walk over his stamina.

And he pleaded that, "Don't use my feelings for you against me."

But what action did I take once Enos made the request? I ignored that, and proceeded to remove my skirt and even say, "You can have this."

Ughhhhhhhhhh.

What have I done?

"Betty," Enos kept on reaching out for me by the door. "I'm sorry okay, but lets talk about this. We were drunk and stuff happened that I failed to control, but please just come out and hear me."

I CANNOT FACE HIM.

How do I even begin to stare into his eyes and apologize for LEGIT attempting to get inside his pants?

Being wasted is not an excuse for that.

Voices emerged.

God, please, anything but those damn voices.

I covered my ears tightly and prayed that the whispered don't swallow me whole.

"Elisabeth." I heard Enos's persuasive voice again as he began to knock repeatedly.

Calm down Elisabeth, I told myself while biting down on my lip.

"Enos." I tried not to stammer while responding, taking deep breathes and choosing to be open with him. "There's a voice in my head_ and she's holding me back."

He remain quiet for a second, digesting my sentence as I shut my eyes.

"Betty," Enos calmly exclaimed.

"Mmmmh."

"Tell that voice I'm coming in." He opened the door. "I'm coming in."

_____________