Listen to "All I want" by Kodaline.

It's been hours since I started dealing with the files. Hours since I sat here on my livingroom coach, a laptop on my lap and papers scattered on the floor. She was pacing around my living space desperately trying to convince me to take her to the mall as though I've nothing else important to take care of. I'm not doing it. We talked about this already for nth times. She swore to never being a nuisance.

But April is nothing but that.

"I won't ask you for anything else James. I cross my entire heart." She swore...... Again.

I paid her no mind and kept on working. I have alot of things to catch up on. I wasted too much time on Elisabeth and now I have a shit load of stuff I need to complete. Starting with lectures and assignments.

I should've known better. Follow your heart is a trap. A big unkind trivial hole in the dark. And for a while there, I almost fell into it. Even after being warned since fifteen. I guess you don't realise you are about to fall until you see the grave infront of you.

It's funny to think that I might have actually jumped if she would've jumped with me.

That's just how she messed me up.

"Do you hate me?" April's voice filled the once empty space.

"I'm busy."

"All the time?"

"Of course." I kept on typing. I need to finish this pending task before Adrian shows up here demanding the HIO files for Dad's newest investors. I can't believe we're even doing this shit for him. If it didn't involve mother's textile companies, I wouldn't have picked up his call. He knows my mother is the only key to getting to me. That son of a bitch. He won't talk to me once and now he needs my help.

"I'm starting to think you're those types of men."

I groaned and focused my eyes on her for emphasis. "Could you please shut up for once April."

She huffed, crossing her slender arms and making an annoying face. "Gishh, no need to roar at me."

"Go to your room." I affirmed then repositioned my gaze on the computer screen.

"Oh my god, you sound just like my father."

For pitt sake. "Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Because you always leave me alone. That's not how friendships work."

I can't with her. "We aren't friends and stop whining like a child. I shouldn't have let you stay here. You are moving out this Friday."

Why did I agree to keep her here anyways? I can't even remember the basis of that. With all the work I have, I didn't think alot of things through.

Her face paled for some reason. As though I gave her the worst news on earth like somebody died. "What?" She muttered.

"You heard me."

"I w_won't ask for anything anymore, okay. Let me stay and I won't speak a word again in your presence unless you want me too. I'll go to my room now." She turned around in a wave and began leaving, her movements swifter than usual. "Thank you for harbouring me James."

She never takes anything seriously.

"I'm serious about this. I will find you another place to stay until you are financially able to support yourself. You also have to start work next week. My sister isn't the kindest person so you better behave."

"You make her sound like a monster." April turned around again and narrowed her eyes at me, stoping her own movements. "Not once did you ever mention anything remotely nice about Inez. It's always Inez is serious, Inez doesn't entertain excuses, Inez will fire you at the slightest mistake. Is she even pretty?"

"Her looks won't matter when you are fired and living in the streets." I said simply.

"You won't let that happen."

I lifted my eyes, "Let me remind you April that as soon as you receive your first pay check, I don't ever want to see your face again. Don't take advantage of the opportunity Inez is giving you because I won't help you get back on your fit. Our deal ends here."

"Ouch." She pouted her pink lips. "That actually hurts my feelings. Care to be less blunt next time you kill my hopes. I literally don't know anyone here and you know how hard it is surviving New York alone."

April's words reminded me of her . I can't even bring myself to mention or think of her name.

I never made her life easier. Infact, New York was three times hellish to her thanks to me.

"Listen," I tried to sympathize. "Nobody forced you to come to New York. It's not anyone else's responsibility to fix your problem. I've gotten you a job and a temporary place to live in. I'd appreciate it if you would atleast try to behave. All you've done is make alot of noise and nag."

She sighed. "Alright. I won't bother you anymore. I honestly thought you'd atleast stop hating me by now."

"I don't hate you April."

"You won't even look at me. You are always on that piece of technology as if it owns your entire life."

"Because I got work to do."

"Once!!! Can't you look at me once?"

"Do you want to leave Tomorrow instead?" I raised, annoyed by her predicaments.

"Ugh....." She growled. "Fine, be that way. You'll eventually die alone."

How many times am I going to die?

It's a constant process. But April's mention of shopping actually reminded me of something I had forgotten about. It's strange that it's only now coming into my mind.

"You don't need to go to the mall for clothes, there's plenty in here."

"I'm tired of wearing your baggy tshirts and shorts James." She uttered instantly.

Leave it to April to forget her suitcase at the airport for the sake of running around in woe for New York.

"That's not what I meant." I replied and proceeded to set my laptop at the side table and stand up. April gave me a confused look. "I don't like sharing my stuff with you either. I was referring to clothes outside the male wardrobe."

"As in decent feminine colourful clothes that actually fit me?" She narrowed her green eyes.

"Well.... I'm not sure about the fitting you part but you can always tailer the ones that won't." I suggested while moving towards the hallway.

She followed behind me, "And how is it that you have a collection of women's wear in your house? Did you live with someone? .....Wait.... Are you giving me someone else's left overs? Skin infections exist James."

I almost laughed. "They are brand new. I wouldn't have offered them if they weren't."

"Oh, okay then."

I walked us to a room at the end of the hall just besides mine where I stored the colony of surprises that I had bought for.....well... Her...for when she'd return with me....if she would've returned with me instead of staying with Enos. Perhaps some of those clothes might do April good, figuring that they will never get worn by the person intended first. She would've loved every single one of them, especially the sundresses, her favorite. And the sunglasses, shoes and the jewelry though she doesn't wear those often.

"Earth to Mister Andrew?" April was clicking her fingers on my face.

"What?"

"You aren't walking and won't stop staring at that door." She pointed at it. I hadn't realized I was standing infront of it already. "What are you thinking about? You have this look on your face that reminds me of that guy in this film called A walk to remember when the girl died."

What does that even mean? I didn't care to ask. Instead I opened the wooden door and allowed April inside.

"Get in."

"Where are the lights? I can't see anything."

"At your left." I instructed. "Pick whatever you'd like except the accessories and then call me when you're done."

"You aren't coming inside?"

"Picking clothes doesn't need an escort." I began to walk away. I don't think I'd be able to look at that fucking room. She never saw it before nor anything that's inside but I can't shake the feeling that it already belongs to her.

On second thought," You know what!" I voiced to April, "Let's go shopping for clothes that will actually fit you."

"What?" Her jaw dropped. She was staring at me like a child again. "Wait wait wait.... You serious? Because you look serious." She was already walking into the room, her wide-eyed gaze then diverging from me to the content inside.

"WHOA!? What In the name of...." She paused, her eyes lighting up and getting wider as they surveyed the entire room. "Is that? Wait!_____ These are gorgeous." She ran to a corner of the room I didn't see as I stood outside. I could hear her glee as she admired the outfits. "What are these all for? They look fucking expensive." She asked loudly. "Oh my god James."

I did infact take my time on picking each item. The devil's in the detail. It was meant to mean something to her. That if she'd see the effort, the thought on everything I gave her, she'd eventually realize I was serious about wanting her back.

"Is it just me or do they have Elisabeth's name on every cover?" April addressed intuitively and the mention of her name made my chest tighten. As if the memory of the lose hit it again. "Why did Betty leave these here?"

It took me a minute to reply. "Maybe it's because she doesn't know about them." I said quietly, almost embarrassed at my own naive assumptions. April didn't say a word to me until she came back outside. Her eyes suddenly looking slightly sad and softer than her usual wildness.

"You must've really loved her."

Loved?!

Is that even what this feeling is? I never called it that.

"You can't keep those clothes." I informed.

"I figured." April replied. "What are you going to do with them?"

I sighed while bending my head ashamed.

"I don't know."

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