watching the moonlight

spilling through tree branches

as she took walks through the forest at night

how tragic it was

the way moonbeams loved the trees

and danced on the treetops

but trees who could never catch them

as they slipped through the branches

it reminded her of things she couldn't hold

for as long as she wanted

she was never good at letting go

never good at saying goodbye

for she always had to hold back tears

put on a fake smile that seemed so real

as she watched them go without looking back

goodbyes weren't good

she pushed the nostalgia away into the back of her mind

threw away her memories like forgotten dolls

she played with as a child

left them in a dusty attic filled with mothballs

pretended that her bren heart was , pretended so much she made herself believe the lies in her head

she hated remembering

she wanted to give away every part of herself

her blood vessels, her skin, her heart

she was tired of belonging to herself, someone she hated

and she'd give away herself piece by piece

rose colored smiles to strangers on the street, smiles no longer hers as soon as it left her her lips

gave away flowers she picked in the park on a sunday morning to little boys and girls looking for the same thing

and what she discovered was that the more smiles she gave the more were returned

that the more flowers she gave the more she got

and it made her happier, somehow

that as she stopped belonging to herself

everything began to belong to her