"but there was also an open sky, a blood red sun, and light."

since last weekend at the ocean » the waves from shattered waterfalls » spilling tears from the eyes » a skull of stone and cliff » oh, the waves singing of beautiful tragedies turned his walls into softened egg shells and sprinkled vinegar rain over them

he was a speck of sand floating in the empty vacuum of time, never able to bloom into beaches of burgundy blue » never able to find a friend

he was a lost cell in a body of stars connected by asteroid belts

now he found solace in his numbness » and instead of breaking his fingernails and knives against the darkness » he began to believe

a writer doesn't always create dreams

sometimes they continue them

it was at 9:42 pm when » he stopped staring at the endless rubric for the analysis essay » instead, he began typing:

sometimes the boy wondered if wild ivy and wallflowers and sea poppies grew in the thin gray sand on the other side, rooting into tide pools and caressing the rough skin of starfish and

sometimes he fantasized of moons the color of freshly baked chinese mooncakes sliced into crescent pieces surrounded by explosions of crumbs that were the stars and

sometimes he imagined a gray gray sea and a blood red sun, a red paper boat floating on the deadly tranquility, so small and fleeting as the ocean lulled it to its ash gray tentacle filled depths and

sometimes he remembered the old days, the days where his town was licked with sunlight and tender bliss that oozed warmth into the flowers in front of the biology classroom window,

in which he stared out the window and wrote latin poetry into the blueberry sky instead of listening to his teacher ramble about mitosis and cellular reproduction and

sometimes he reminisced of the day when he sat on the emerald grass of the park, his face stained with wind where he laughed with his friends and

sometimes,

he dreamed about her

-[🌙]-

she was an ocean nymph he'd saved before the wall was built. he didn't remember much of anything, the darkness eating his mind away as amnesia embraced his heartstrings (his heart had forgotten how to love), but for some reason he remembered her.

she lay on the beach, her chiton cut from a piece of turquoise sky, stained with coral and indigo, seaweed tangled in her beige hair and pressed over her pearly blue skin. she was so enchanted by the song of the sea stars that she'd gotten too close to the human regions, where she walked too far to the shoreline and passed out when the ocean was too far away to satisfy the thirst of her cells

he cupped his hands and dipped them into a tidepool and watched the water sprinkle over her skin like sand and then she frowned, making whirlpools over her forehead and when she opened her eyes he drowned in the starlight they held and then she was gone.

as he stared at the horizon, a voice the color of tranquil storms echoed in his head, fleeting like the seagulls that swam the skies,

"i will save you when you're drowning."

-[🌙]-

sometimes he would be so cold that no icicle could stab him but then an ocean of hot salt spring water would pool into his soul and it felt like beige hair and eyes filled with sticky starlight and it was so beautiful he couldn't breathe and

sometimes he still heard her voice in his mind and for a moment he would believe it was real, and

sometimes sunlight was just yesterday but he was too weak to believe,

too weak and that was when he truly withered, never knowing that she sat on the rocks on the beach every night, and

sometimes she tried to climb the ivy but it always cut her delicate skin and she'd bleed salted blue honey that seeped through the sand and into the dark town into his soul and

sometimes she would try to talk to him, telling the boy she fell in love years ago that she'd reach him someday and collect his tears and make starlight ponds with them, but the golden wall was too high and his walls were higher

the bottom right corner of his computer said 10:31 » he stared at the constellations outside the window » shades of inky love scribbled into crocheted star trails » dreaming of his rose

he scribbled a letter on the back of his old english homework:

oh darling, for it is thee i search for amongst the stars,

i remember the first time i saw you, two years ago in the bleak hallway. i was talked to her, the girl who tries to trip you whenever you walk past her. i was faking a laugh when i saw you. you looked at me and i saw starlight in your eyes and your gaze was so cold that it froze my insides, back then when i was human, when i could feel.

like a rose in the rain, trampled by thousands of shoes. you belong in the ocean where the sea's tide pulls you into feverish quietude but when i saw you you were drowning on the air of this human world.

you don't know it was me but i slipped a note into your locker. i'd written "bloom like a rose in the sea." i know you got it, i saw it's corner peeking out from the corner of your honeysuckle yellow binder, a small periwinkle flashcard. that was just a year ago, i think. i didn't even know your name until seven months ago, but it was the way you faded so tragically, in the gloom, and i thought you looked like a rose.

you were covered with so many thorns but they were useless against the knives hidden in words. i wondered what it would be like to get close to you but i was turning into a monster at that time. i wanted to know how beautiful it would feel, pricking my calloused fingers against your thorns, to taste the euphoria and loneliness but i was too afraid.

but oh, roselin, bloom like a rose in the sea. you belong in the ocean, and i don't care if following you will drown me. i just wanna be with you, even if it means waiting on the shoreline from dusk to dawn.

from auburn

this is the letter i'll never get enough courage to send to you

-[🌙]-

11:11

with a sigh » he closed all this documents and began his essay » which he worked on till 2:31 am

-[🌙]-

me reading the last line: damn that's a long a$$ time for writing an essay

if u haven't noticed i finally did name reveals 😁🎉

oh, and shout out to ! she will be busy on semi-hiatus for some time so make sure to shower love on "2:31" 😉

check out "lullabies" by as well! and if you want to read something sad go to and read "to my dearest darling," or any of her books to be honest