Thursday

Tin went to visit Can in the hospital, before going to school. For the first time in a very long time, he was wearing their school uniform, all neat and clean.

He brought Can a new potted succulent he brought from the plant shop on the way.

He met with N'Lay inside Can's room. At first, he didn't know how to approach him, but as soon as he realized N'Lay was not angry at him, he eased in and sat with him beside Can.

"I really wanna be mad at you, but I don't see the point because I know it wasn't you who did this to him. I want to beat you up real good, but what does that make me any better than those who did this to my brother?" N'Lay was feeding Can some porridge. "I hope this is a good wake-up call for you."

"You do not know how sorry I truly am." Tin replied. "If only I could bear every wound and pain Can suffer, I would gladly take them all." His head bowed down, his hands tucked under his thighs as he sat.

"The suspects were already caught and are in jail," N'Lay added. "We're proceeding with a case against them. What they did to Can will not go unpunished..."

Tin didn't know how to respond. Can just listened quietly.

"What a way for us to meet the first time, right?" N'Lay quipped. "This might even be our last meeting, who knows."

Tin was clueless as to what N'Lay meant by that, but he just didn't know how to react.

"Why don't you come with me and get Can his medicines at the pharmacy?" N'Lay told Tin. He stood up and carefully put the finished bowl of porridge on the side table. "We'll be back in a minute, bro."

Tin followed N'Lay as they walked out of Can's room.

They walked quietly for the first few meters. N'Lay didn't know how to start with what he wanted to say, and Tin didn't know if he were to engage N'Lay in a conversation.

"My brother told me everything." N'Lay started anyway. He put his hands in his pocket, as he walked slowly, Tin following him three steps behind.

"He told me how you met, how you started hanging out, and how you started being friends." N'Lay continued. "He also told me how much he likes you." Tin was speechless.

"You know I would do everything for my brother, right?" N'Lay asked. Tin just nodded his head, although N'Lay could not see him from behind. "Even if that means being me friendly and accepting the person who brought this misery to him just because he loves him"

"He told me how you would take care of him, although at the start, you were being such an asshole to him." N'Lay blabbered on. "And I still want to thank you, though. If you haven't been there for Can, if you would have ignored and didn't run to check on him that night, he would probably dead by now." N'Lay's voice started to shake.

"And I would never forgive myself if that happened," Tin muttered.

"He is an angel, you know that right?" N'Lay asked without looking at Tin. "He has the purest heart and intentions for everyone. He was always trying to do things for other people. Despite his condition, he still made sure he makes everyone feel loved and cared for. He does his best all the time trying to fix things and people."

N'Lay paused for a moment, overwhelmed by sudden his burst of emotions.

"But the people who always try to fix things need fixing too, you know?" N'Lay almost choked in his own words. The thoughts of his brother's brokenness because of his illness just always get him very emotional.

"I love him" Tin uttered. N'Lay was shocked at what he just heard.

"I love Can---with all my heart." Tin stopped walking, and so did N'Lay when he noticed. "I wish I could be better for him. I wish I deserve him"

"Then be better for him" N'Lay answered.

"I don't know how" Tin answered. "I'm doing my best to change my old ways. I swear to God, I'm doing my best to be a better man for him. I just need more time. It can't happen to me overnight..."

"What if there's no enough time, Tin?" N'Lay asked. "I will not let you waste Can's precious time just waiting."

Tin ended up staying with Can the whole day, as N'Lay left to fix things for Can's move back to Chiang Mai. Tin was still clueless about Can leaving. And Can still doesn't know how and when to tell him.

A part of Can's heart tells him to not tell Tin at all, and just let him live life after he leaves as if he did not happen.

He thought that even though Tin might get hurt in the beginning, but as long as their feelings are not yet too deep, it might be easier for Tin to move on after he is gone.

But another part of him tells him to hold on to his love for Tin.

A great part of his heart tells him that Tin deserves to know the truth about his conditions and plans and that he should give Tin a chance to be with him and fight this hard battle together.

But Can is not so sure if Tin does love him. While his recent actions tell him that he does, he needed to hear it straight from him.

Actions sure speak louder than words, but there is something about spoken words that linger more into the heart and memories...

Confirmation.

Affirmation.

Something he can hold on to.

Friday

Tin went to school, as Can asked him not to skip today. He planned on dropping by the nearest flower shop to by Can some flowers after the dismissal period and bring it to him at the hospital.

Before the first period even started, Tin was called into Mr. Phun's office.

"Hi Mr. Medthanan, I'm surprised you're at school this early." Mr. Phun greeted him as soon as he walked into his office. Tin sat on the chair in front of the teacher's table.

"I called you in to tell you that your work as a close student guide ends today. I am proud that you have managed to complete it without causing any more trouble to the school. I am lifting your reprimand, and I hope this is the last time we'll see each other in this office for the same reason as before." Mr. Phun told him.

Tin didn't know what to say. He almost forgot about his student guide thing with CAN, because of all the things happening around him.

"Uhm, Mr. Phun..." Tin uttered. "What if I would still want to continue with this student guide thing? I mean, its kinds been a habit already, you know, walking my blind classmate home every day." He let out a forced shy laugh. "I just wonder, for all the troubles I caused, I wanted to extend my reprimand for the rest of the school year." He blurted.

Mr. Phun gave him a questioning look before speaking.

"There is no more need for a student guide, Tin. Mr. Kirakorn has already dropped out of school, effective today. After the assault that happened to him, which deeply saddened the school community, his family decided he should go back home to recover and heal."

Mr. Phun's words rip Tin apart, he could not speak, as if there's a huge lump in his throat.

"That poor boy. I know you might have grown close to him after the few weeks you have spent together. Let's just pray he recovers soon from the serious injuries he just suffered, so he can also finally start his treatment for his cancer."

"Excuse me, for what," Tin asked in a slightly higher tone, surprised by the last word he heard.

"Oh, you didn't know? Can has terminal eye cancer. N'Lay's brother told me all about Can's condition. His family is looking into sending him for treatment abroad. I am personally working a proposal to the board of the school if they could at least help the boy with it."

Tin suddenly felt the world crash on him. Mr. Phun's revelation bore like a sharp knife hollowing his heart out. He stood frozen for a moment, trying to make sense of everything.

CAN has cancer.

CAN is terminally ill, without telling him.

CAN is dying.

And he is now gone.

Can was sad having to leave so abruptly. He planned to say proper goodbyes before he even leaves, but the recent happenings prevented him from.

And he thought, the certainty of him surviving and healing from his illness is so slim, it's better not to deepen more his relationship w/ the people he has met in Bangkok, including Ai'No and Tin---especially Tin.

It will be much easier for them to move on if he leaves fewer traces of him in their lives.

It was a selfish act, he knew, but also as selfless as it can be for Can. He will be hurt, tremendously.

And as he battles with his illness, he will also have to force himself to move on and forget about his short-lived life in Bangkok.

Tin was not to give up that easily

Tin wants a chance...

A few days have passed. Can was taking his time recovering from his injuries. The love his parents were showering him, made his road to recovery easier and faster.

Meanwhile, Tin was patiently waiting. He knew he had to give Can all the time he needs. He took their moments apart to research about Can's condition. Calling up hospitals abroad who can provide the best treatment and medical attention for Can.

Together with Ai'No, Ai'Ae, Ai'Nic, and Ai'Kla, Tin worked tirelessly in school for a fund-raising campaign for Can's medical journey. He was able to get the support of the whole school community.

And eventually, with his mom's help and the school's board of directors, they were able to raise enough money to be able to send Can to the US for proper treatment and care.

We'll find a way

Can was enjoying the cool Sunday breeze, sitting in their backyard, while listening to the calm music A birds chirping. His mom walked up to him and gave him a warm hug.

"You okay, baby?" Can's mom asked. She rubbed his shoulder ever so gently.

"Yes, ma." He smiled at her.

She stood behind Can and started pushing his wheelchair, taking him for a walk. ..The weather is nice today, yeah?"

"Yes, do you hear the birds, ma? Even they agree." He answered.

"So, it's gonna be your birthday soon." His mom started. "What do you want for your birthday?"

"I don't know..." Can answered. The thought of his birthday approaching saddens and frightens him. Knowing that it could be his very last one, he couldn't help but feel deeply emotional.

"I don't think I want anything for my birthday this year..." He trailed off. Although deep in his mind, and his heart, he knows what he wants---who he wants.

"Your brother told me he's set nice lunch A your favorite shabu-shabu restaurant downtown." His mom added. "I make sure I cook the best seaweed soup for you that day. I'll let your father help me. "

"I'd like that very much." Can answered, giving his mom a bittersweet smile.

"You wanna know what my wish for you is?" His mom's tone suddenly became a little sad. Can nodded, although he already knew what it was.

"I want you to agree to the treatment we are telling you about. At least give it a try, my baby. So we can celebrate more of your birthdays in the future." His mom already started to tear up.

"Ma, you know I want to. I do. But honestly, I just really don't want to risk your future just for a shot for mine. It's way too expensive. You wouldn't have anything left for you and dad and N'Lay. And if---it doesn't become successful--- I don't think I could rest in death knowing that I left you broke and neck-deep with debt." He reached out for his mom's hand and caressed it gently.

"Do not worry about us baby, for once, think about yourself too. I don't care if we live in poverty after your treatment. If that means we could spend more years with you, and see you grow old happy and healthy, that would be more than enough." His morn almost choked in tears. "Your life is worth more than anything in this world, my baby."

"We will find a way, mom. I haven't given up yet." That's all he could say. "We'll find a way."

Can's birthday came and the Kirakorn family household was already busy so early in the morning. Momma Kirakorn was busy preparing seaweed soup for the birthday boy, while Papa Kirakorn cleaned the house. N'Lay was helping Can change into the new clothes he brought as a gift for his brother.

"You look good in white." N'Lay proudly said to his brother.

"I look good in everything, Nong, remember?" Can chuckled.

By lunchtime, they were already set and sat around a huge low table at their family's favorite restaurant. They were given extra servings of side dishes when the owner learned it was Can's birthday.

They sang Can happy birthday so lovingly and happily. Can blew the candles on his birthday cake, ate the seaweed soup his mother cooked for him.

In the middle of eating, N'Lay's phone rang. He apologized to his family for having to walk out to take the call.

When N'Lay came back, he was no longer alone.

Let win this together

Tin, who was properly dressed in a nice comfy shirt and trousers, greeted Can's parents with a polite bow. He handed Can's mother a nice box of chocolates and a ribbon bottle of wine for CAN's dad.

Can knew they had a visitor, but only realized who it was until when Tin reached out for his hand and caressed it ever so gently.

"Happy birthday, Can." Tin greeted as he hands Can a small bouquet. Can was speechless. But his eyes were already starting to water. "W-why are you---how---" Can stuttered. "I invited him here," N'Lay answered. "Don't be mad at me, I know this is the birthday present you want." He grinned. Can blushed upon hearing his brother's words, also knowing that their parents were right there with them.

"Son..." His father started. "We already know. And it's okay. It's okay. As long as you are happy, then we are also happy." He reached out for CAN's shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"But how?" It is all that Can could muster to say.

"Let's just say your boyfriend is very very eager and persistent." His mom said smilingly. "He persuaded your Nong to give him our phone numbers, and he took the initiative to speak with us and be very honest to us. We appreciated that."

"He's not my boyfriend, ma." Can blushed.

"Not yet?" Its asked as his lips pressed into a half-smile.

"Have you asked me yet?" Can asked shyly, hiding his face under the bouquet he's holding.

"Very well then..." Tin composed himself, held Can's hands, lowering it down so his face was showing under the bouquet. "Can Kirakorn, my little angel. I love you so much. I love you so so much. And I am promising in front of your loving family, that I, Tin Medthanan will do everything to make you happy. I promise to stay with you and shower you with the love, care, and respect you deserve. Let me fight with you with your battle with cancer. Let's win it together." Tears brimmed on the corner of his eyes, as his hands shook very slightly. Will you be my boyfriend and make me the happiest guy in the world?"

Can nod, tears already flowing endlessly on his cheeks. Tin kissed his hands so lovingly before wrapping Can in a warm tight embrace.

"Let's win this together..." Tin whispered into CAN's ears.

Can finally agree to get the treatment for his growing cancer, which has now become a full-grown tumor near the nerves connecting the eyes to the brain.

Can was already starting to feel frequent pain inside his eyeballs, and in his head particularly in the forehead area just above the eyes.

Days passed by and Can was already losing weight at a rapid pace. While he kept on trying his best to eat, he just doesn't have the appetite.

It was only a matter of time when he would already feel excruciating pain from his eyeballs up to the back of his skull, leaving him screaming and passing out.

His family with the help of Tin rushed all the papers they needed so CAN could finally fly to the states.

With N'Lay and his mom, Can board a plane to the US, with nothing but courage and hope in tow, praying for the best outcome that there is.

Can was admitted to a high-end hospital in San Francisco to start his treatment. His first three days were the hardest, with all the laboratory exams he had to go through.