It was past six in the evening, I'm home without my notice. I sit exhaustedly on our couch. What the fuck just happen earlier? I caress my lips, I still can feel his lips, his soft lips brush to mine, that scent of him makes me insane. What the fuck? Did I just like that?

"What happens to you Can?" I realized I look stupid to my sister, she was confusedly looking at me. She was seated on the opposite couch in front of me.

Can I tell her? No. She would throw me a disgusted look when she found out I was kissed by him.

"Nothing"

"Woah? Is your energy just drained? Are you really okay? Tell me something happens?" I just get up and walk towards her and hug her.

"Hey! What's with the hug?" I don't know why I'm crying right now. I'm really mad, really mad!!

"Leiii~" I cried even more.

"Who beats you up? Tell me?!!" I hope he beat me up to death instead of kissing me. Did I feel so offended by that? Now question me even more. Cause back in my mind that I'm liking it--- AHHHHH CAN?!! YOU'RE NOW BEING STUPID.

I push her a bit and released them to that hug. I wipe my tears. I don't want Lei to know about this.

So I smiled at her to brighten up the mood.

"It's really nothing Lei, I just miss you. That's it" to my embarrassment, I walk away fast and get into my room. I never said that to my sister. I just say that to excuse my explanation to her.

After I close the door!! I throw away my bag and lean against the door slowly I get to my knee. I'm slapping my lips really hard. I don't want to remember that!! I should forget that!!! ERASE ERASE CAN!!

"Why the fuck Tin kissed me!!!!!!"

Why do I have a weird brother? He hugged me out of a sudden and told me he missed me. That's weird, right?

He is my big brother but he acts like my younger brother of mine. I wish and better I was born earlier than him.

Well, he is weird tho.

I continue to watch bl drama on my phone, I really paused it for him because I'm worried about him, I just got worried for nothing.

My brother and even our mother didn't know that I'm into bl thingy. I don't want them even to know this too.

Sometimes I imagine my brother being uke in the bl series. He is really fragile to be a man. Should I find him a seme guy?? Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! But what? I know he is straight. What am I thinking?

Another day, another life. Another moment to create so I have to get rid of that, I have to forget that. And act like nothing happen, like it was nothing. Yes, Can! You can do it.

"Can!!" Dae appeared from my back and she was panting.

"Hi, Dae!!" I smiled. Yes smiled I'm okay, I have to be okay.

"Something wrong Can?" I ark my left eyebrow at her.

"Huh?"

"You look tensed" huh? did it write all over my face?

"Why saying that?" I saw Dae just shrug.

"Well I just sense it"

"Ehem" as I pretend to clear my throat, I compose myself together.

I notice something about her, she even looks prettier than ever. Her glow was even more bright than back then. Is she seeing someone?

Should I ask her?

I'm about to ask that when I saw Good from distance. This is my chance finally to make it up to him.

"Dae you'll go ahead, Ill see you at lunch! Bye!!" I didn't wait to hear her response and run fun after to Good.

"Good!!" he didn't mind turning back to me, did he hear me or was pretending to be not, but it's impossible we are only an inch far away from each other.

"Talk to me, I'll swear I'm going to be more open to you!" that makes him stop walking. It made me smile, I hope he listens to me. He finally turn back to me. As usual again with those non emotional faces.

"Are you really sure about that?" I run towards him and give him my best hug.

"Please don't ignore me Good you are the only friend that I have, don't be upset with me" I almost cry because this is the longest time he resist me.

"Let me go Can and we are now okay" I know Good could be like this. I think I hurt him because we are friends but I hide things from him. I should know that and realize I was wrong.

"Good" he pushes me by pushing my forehead.

"Cha-am was right, you're stupid" I pout. Did he really believe in that wench?

"You know let's just go to class, we are going to be late" I'm happy that Good and I were okay.

---

Good, Dae, Pond, his girlfriend Cha-am, and I taking lunch together.

Cha-am and Pond always roasting each other. They are not that typical couple, I don't even know why they choose to date each other despite of their flaws.

While Good and Dae just focus on their meal and do not mind this couple's business.

Of course me I'm enjoying my food when that happened yesterday just cross my mind. I slam the table then they just look at me with their shocked eyes. They maybe think that I'm insane.

"Is that necessary for a man to kiss another man's lips" out blue just came out to my mouth, they were puzzled throwing me a gaze.

"What?" - Good

"You're weird" - Cha-am

"You're just hungry, just continue eating" - Pond.

While Dae just blinking her eyes and didn't say anything at all.

See? I cant even tell them that I'm in that situation. I just want to know why Tin kissed me??

Is he gay or what? A guy like Tin is gay? Like what the fuck? How is that happen?

And of all guys he want to kiss is it me?

I wanted to know. I'm dying to know that.

---

a/n : i got drained to my final defense, btw i passed it and i can be able to graduate in college aaaa!! sorry for a lame chapter. i hope you still enjoy it! thank you guys 💚💙