@/macromoleford

04-19 07:50 AM

Hi, baby!

I have been avoiding messaging here for years. Ayoko kapag wala kang reply. Ayoko na wala sakin ang atensyon mo. Ayoko ng wala ka, Silas.

But five years had past already. I'll admit it, those five years are full of tortures. Hearing your name, seeing your pictures, praying at church without you beside me, reading your past messages, reviewing your reviewers, seeing your family, and absent-mindedly waiting for your texts every morning and night every time in those five years.

I still do it sometimes. I find myself quickly getting my phone to read your morning messages because you always wake up before me.

But I also find myself reminiscing our last weeks together. Isn't fun? That we actually get to experience living together even just for weeks? I can't believe Kuya Ranford will get us a condo and let me be with you like a married couple.

We were both surprised. Hindi pa natin alam ang gagawin kasi condo lang naman binili niya, walang laman. It was another experience, buying furnitures with you. For two days, we finished the condo.

We were rushing. And I remember crying everyday you wake me up, it's a tears of joy that you're still with me.

We pushed our limits. We're staying at home, I'm cleaning and you're cooking while you're reviewing me. You're so natural, you keep throwing questions at me and I'm always shouting because I'm panicking.

You'll buy med books and outline it for me. All are full of mnemonics I can't find to forget not because it's funny (tho it's really funny) but because it's you who made it.

We always have the time when we keep practicing our vows but we never said our I dos because you said it's for the wedding day but we didn't get into the wedding part.

Hindi tayo umabot.

You didn't gave me a chance to wear a white flowly dress so you made me wear a white coat instead. You gave me everything to make me a doctor, Silas Mateo.

It was June 13, five years ago, you keep reminding me to take care of myself and for some reason, I felt it was the time, but I forgot how you keep on caressing my belly, and it was just later on when I realized you already knew I was pregnant that time, didn't you?

Is that why you were calm when you left? You took it calmly so I did too. It was not enough time but it was fine we had a chance.

Chance to be with you is all I need.

I appreciate how you grin out of happiness every time you call me Dr. Nicholas but at this moment, I'd like to hear you call me The summa cumme laude, Dr. Nicholas-Ford.

How's that, baby?

Wala ba akong reward dyan? Paramdam ka naman oh.

Silas, our baby, keeps on asking about you. It's always a pleasure to answer questions about you lalo na kung galing sa anak natin.

AND WHO'S MORE OBSESSED WHEN I NAMED HIM AFTER YOU?

Ate Wellsy also cried when she saw our son but I cried harder when I saw a birthmark on his chest exactly where your scar from your surgery is located.

You left me something to treasure as much as I do to you. And I love you so much. Sobra pa sa sobra, Silas Mateo.

Ps. The vow you keep on hearing from me in those weeks is my speech on my graduation.

Pps. In front of thousands of people just a while ago, I said the best 'I do' you ever heard in your wholeeeeeee life.

You heard it from there, didn't you, Silas?