"So, do you want to talk about it?" Sam finally inquired, allowing for me to let out a massive sigh. He saw right through me.

I thought that I was already thinking about it way too much, but before it was nothing compared to how much worse it had become.

We drove in awkward silence to his house, and were now sat in his living room. If you couldn't already guess, the event of Monday's kiss was still floating in the air. We were breathing it in like oxygen. It felt like torture, both of our lungs clearly having enough of the synthetic air.

"Oh, God." I mumbled, leaning against the back of his extraordinarily comfortable couch.

"Was it that bad?" Sam blurted out, my words quickly eating him up.

My shoulder bunched up, my hands splaying out in front of me wildly. "No, not at all! Was that too eager? Never mind, um, just know that I'm not upset or anything." I tried to ignore the blush creeping up my neck.

He blinked for a moment, reading my face. I could tell that he was relieved, having clearly enjoyed the kiss as well. Which only made me feel better too, though it probably shouldn't have. Again, I was reminded of that expression Sam always seemed to save for me. Before I thought it had to do with our personal vendetta towards one another, but I wasn't so sure anymore.

"Then what is it?" Sam asked me, noticing something on my face that wasn't meant to be there.

"Nothing." I said stubbornly.

"Sawyer." He warned.

I shook my head, pretending to not see the puppy dog look in his eyes.

Curse you, hazel eyes!

I huffed, standing up from the comfortable seat and pacing around the room nervously. "It's everything. Well, not everything. Just a lot of things. There are so many things that don't make sense! I mean, we're guys, and I don't know about you, but I've always thought I was straight. And we're enemies. Enemies." I continued, putting extra emphasis on that last word.

"But if all of that is true, then I shouldn't have enjoyed the kiss, or even the hug after it. But I did! And you did too! So I guess we aren't really straight, and we're not enemies..? That really freaks me out. Then there's also the problem of those creeps watching our every move. They already have an interest in me, so who's to say that they won't find out about all of this and only get more invested in me!" I finished, breathing loudly.

Letting out these frustrations felt good after having locked them up. I could tell that Sam was carefully registering each and every word I had said, his lip being prodded at just like it always was.

After a moment, he said, "I think you answered a few of your own questions, like the ones about being straight and being enemies. You said that you liked the kiss, and I know that I did too. Doesn't that speak for itself?"

I focused my dark eyes onto his, studying him hesitantly. "And the part about the drug lords?"

That was when Sam broke eye contact, leaning back again the leather, his hands running down his face. "Then whatever happens between us needs to stay a secret. Until this is over, at the very least."

For some reason, it seemed like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. What he said, implied that he wanted something more than just a kiss. Obviously that wasn't going to happen soon, but for now, the idea was enough to get me to calm down. I shouldn't have liked it, but I did. The kiss, the implication, him. There was almost a faint sense of adventure following the notion. Fueling the patter of my heart, a tatter of adrenaline egging me further down a path that I couldn't possibly begin to predict.

"Okay." I breathed.

"Are you sure?" Sam looked skeptical.

I cracked a small grin, trying to convey the fact that things would be fine for now. So long as no one found out. We couldn't risk that, but deep down, I knew that we were risking everything simply by being near each other.

"Course." I said quietly.

Sam stood up from his place on the couch, meeting me halfway. When he did, I titled my head back slightly to look directly into his eyes. A soft smile kissed his lips only moments before mine did.

And when they did, it lasted for a little while longer than I had anticipated.

I never knew that I could enjoy a kiss so much. Of course, I had kissed people before. A few times. As in once when I was in the second grade, and then twice when I was a sophomore. Other than that, I deprived myself of physical affection.

When we pulled apart, his forehead leaned forward to rest against mine. I could feel his breath fanning out and intertwining with my own. It tasted like fresh mint leaves.

"Remember when we met?" I asked him after a few moments went by of us just standing there. Admittedly, I had always wondered if he thought about what he did to me.

Sam's eyes were studying my features closely, seemingly taking in every little detail imaginable. "Yeah."

I averted my gaze down to where his lips were. I wondered if he even noticed it when he chewed on them. I certainly knew that I did. For some reason, I wanted to notice everything about him. But for the time being, I focused on how he bit his lip.

"Why did you trip me back then?" I voiced my curiosity. That party that Keira took us to was a massive back-to-school one gone wrong. As a result, school began only a few days later.

That was when Sam, Dennis, and Brian became a big part of my life. The first day of school, Sam had already begun his banter with me, and before I knew it, we were already known for our rivalry. There were pranks wasted between us, public humiliation, uncalled for jokes, and even a time when we got into a relatively serious fight. That was before Sam exceeded my strength by an alarming amount, though he still had the upper hand.

"I didn't drink." He started with a sigh. "Back then I had a hatred for alcohol. So, I decided to find other ways to entertain myself."

A frown ghosted my lips. He entertained himself by torturing other people? That was a little fucked up.

"At first, I was just messing with wasted people, you know, getting them super worked up before running off. For a little while, I just watched after Dennis, because he would not stop drinking. It was honestly hilarious." He said with a small smile on his face.

I always knew that Sam and Dennis were the closest out of his friend group.

"But eventually, Dennis up and disappeared. So, Brian and I just hung out for a little bit. When Brian told me he had to get going, that was when I started wandering. I spotted you up on the stairs.

"You looked so... alone. You were just sat there, staring into your cup. I don't mean to be weird, but I ended up watching you for a while. You never once took a drink, you just stared into it, swishing it around before watching the whirlpool fade. I wondered why you were by yourself at a high school party. I knew you couldn't have been any older than me, so I figured you were probably fifteen at the time-"

"Fourteen." I whispered.

"-Even younger than I once thought. But still, I figured everyone at that party was at least having a good time. But you, Sawyer, didn't look happy at all. So, when you eventually got up to go down the stairs, I don't know why, but I didn't want you to leave. I panicked, and shot my leg out to get you to stop. Even to this day, I'm not sure what I thought that would do, but I did it. I was horrified when your drink spilled directly into your eyes, especially when you started freaking out.

"So, I played it off like it was intentional. I know, it was such a dick move, but I pretended like I intended for it to happen. I laughed at you. I'm sorry." By this point, his eyes were trained downward, his brows slightly furrowed. I didn't know whether to be satisfied by his guilty expression, or uncomfortable.

"You followed me all the way to the bathroom." I muttered, not bothering to filter my thoughts.

He sighed quietly. "I know. I think I wanted to make sure you were okay. But when you finally turned and looked at me, you looked so upset. I felt so fucking guilty I couldn't stay there anymore. I just got lost in the crowd instead."

"How did you know where Dennis was?" I inquired. How did he know where to find Dennis if he didn't even want to face me?

He groaned a bit, clearly not enjoying the act of opening up. "I didn't. I came back to apologize."

I blinked a few times. He did what now? No fucking way. That boy never ceased to surprise me.

"Which I didn't end up doing when I saw Dennis. I guess I just told myself that you were fine now, and you didn't need my pity." He cringed a bit when he said it.

I nodded softly. "It's ironic."

Sam pulled back to look at me, one hand rested on my arm, and the other placed tenderly atop my collarbone. "What is?"

"This." I chuckled. "Whatever this is. I've always hated you so much."

Now it was Sam's turn to laugh. "They say hate is a passion, right?"

I smiled widely, shaking my head at the blonde haired boy. I didn't know what we were doing, or what would become of it, but I did know that I couldn't hate Sam anymore. I didn't know when I ever stopped truly hating him for that matter, I just knew that there was something much deeper to our relationship than either of us could have imagined. There were so many questions that needed answering them, but too many of them felt untouchable. Apart of me was worried that asking too many of them would only set us back.

"By the way." I began. "Where are your parents? They are never here."

"Oh, they prefer spending time at work or going to dinner parties or they have a lot of date nights." Sam said solemnly. I could tell that he wasn't a big fan of it, though he didn't seem to hold all that much resentment. Certainly not enough to mask his love towards them, which he wore with blatant pride.

"Your parents have date nights? I thought that was just a myth." I laughed, trying to not make him feel worse.

The smile quickly reappeared. "Hell yeah. I've never seen people quite as in love as my parents are. They are always together."

He spoke with pride and love. Only a moron would miss just how happy he seemed when talking about his parents. Well, not that I wasn't a moron, because we all knew that I was. That wasn't the point, though.

"When do they get home?" I wondered aloud.

"Today? I think, around seven, or seven thirty." It tends to vary." He answered.

I nodded, not really knowing what else to say. On one hand, I was eager to learn more about Sam, but on the other, I knew that he wasn't a fan of opening up. I didn't want to annoy him or seem nosy.

"So, Sawyer, we have time to maybe watch a movie or something, if you'd like." He spoke up, his lips still stretched into a smile.

The thing between us was growing alarmingly fast over the course of only a few days, but I tried my best to suppress my worries for the time being. I was still scared, and I definitely didn't want anyone to know about the way he made me anxious. I wondered if we would only end up going down hill rapidly, or if we would blossom into something more.

For now, I didn't care. Things were always going to be one step at a time.

And in that moment, I wanted to watch a movie with him.

"Hell yeah."

•O•O•