《Four of Clubs》31
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I followed Daniel outside, reaching the screen door just before it slammed behind him. "Daniel!"
He didn't respond to my voice, continuing to walk down my lawn, towards his car. "Dan!" I called again, catching up to him as he turned sharply.
"What?"
"I just- I-" His harsh tone caught me so off guard that I couldn't even think of what to say. I'd never heard him sound so harsh.
He sighed, shaking his head as he looked at me. "I tried to stop this, Maddie."
"Daniel-"
"I knew partaking in this dumb contest would end up like this and I tried so hard to stop it. But I couldn't, and look where we are now."
I shook my head, not understanding. My stomach sunk as my mind began to connect the dots, jumping to a conclusion that I didn't want to believe. "What are you saying?"
"The basketball court," he snapped, confirming my suspicion. Still, the admission made me flinch, a pang of hurt and anger stabbing at my heart. "I tipped off Hanks-- he was supposed to get there before you guys. I was trying to prevent it from ever happening."
My mind reeled, thinking of our other shortcomings. "And the homecoming game?"
He nodded and let out a sigh, now looking more remorseful than angry. "I didn't plan to, but after you told me about what happened with Ian... I was so mad, Maddie. I just wanted this whole thing to be over. I told security I saw a guy going into the girls' bathroom."
I scoffed, shaking my head. "How could you do that to me? To the group?"
"Believe me, if I'd have known you'd take Roy's place, I wouldn't have done it."
"But it would've been fine if it ended our chances at winning?" I questioned. "If you didn't want to be in this thing, you could've just left-- you didn't need to try to sabotage the rest of us."
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"I was looking out for you," he defended himself, keys jingling in his hand as he pointed at me. "You've lost focus on everything that matters, Maddie. Your grades have been slipping, we haven't hung out just the two of us in months, and if what you did with Ian is any indication, this competition has turned you into a completely different person."
"Do you know how much I've been hating myself for doing that to you?" I asked him, searching for recognition in his eyes. "The guilt has been tearing me apart, I can barely stand to be around you or Ian because all I can think about is what I almost did. But you don't even seem sorry for what you did do to me." I blinked back tears, my heart pounding in my chest. I felt nauseous, sick with disbelief.
"What I did, I did because I was trying to help you. What you did..." He shook his head. "You can't even compare it, Maddie."
"I don't think we should be together anymore," I managed to say, watching as his face contorted into confusion, sadness, and quickly back to anger.
"What?"
"We're never gonna move past what I did, which I can't blame you for," I explained. "And knowing that you tried to ruin this for me..." I sighed, looking at him. I thought I'd known Daniel: polite, mature, focused-- I didn't think he would ever hurt me, and I was beginning to realize it was why I'd dated him in the first place. Daniel was safe, and I was starting to learn that maybe safe wasn't enough.
"Look, maybe I am different now," I admitted. "Maybe we both are. Either way... we can only say we're sorry so many times. And I'm not sure if either of us will ever really believe it."
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He sighed, looking away. I'd seen this expression before, tight lips and hard eyes-- he knew I was right, whether he would admit it or not.
"I am sorry for what I did," I promised. "And I want you to know it's made me realize a lot about myself, a lot of things that I need to change-"
"You're not a bad person just because you did a bad thing." Daniel interrupted, finally meeting my eyes. "Everyone makes mistakes, Maddie-- we both did things we're not proud of."
I nodded, the words easing some of the tightness in my chest.
"I guess..." Daniel trailed off, sighing again. "Things would've been hard with me going off to college in a few months anyway. Maybe it's for the best."
"Maybe." I agreed, knowing he was right. With our relationship weighted under so many mistakes, long-distance only would've made it more complicated.
"So this is goodbye," he stated.
"I guess so," I replied, a lump forming in my throat as I forced a sad smile.
"I'm sorry too, Maddie," he apologized, pulling me in for a short hug. It felt different, stiffer, containing a different kind of affection than the ones we used to share. "I'll see you around."
With that he left, heading to his car and not looking back. I turned away and started towards the house, not wanting to have to wave goodbye. I heard him start to pull away just as I closed the door behind me.
I leaned my back against the red-painted wood, taking a few deep breaths. Somehow, a breakup seemed sadder when it wasn't fueled by hatred. I knew I would miss Daniel, and even though his words made it sound like he forgave me, or at least understood what I did, I'd always harbor the guilt.
After a moment of collecting myself, I headed back to the group. Three solemn faces stared at me as I entered the living room. "I guess it'll just be the four of us for this last one," I said, dancing around the words I didn't need to say. Daniel had meant what he said about leaving, evidently.
"Um," Ian cleared his throat, leaning forward on the couch. "There is no last one anymore."
"What?" I immediately reached for my phone, which I'd left on the coffee table in the center of the room. Two notifications from The Seven stared back at me, my stomach dropping as I read them.
Another message was sent to every account on The Seven's app, announcing the end of the competition and the win of The Five Capers. I sat down on the recliner behind me, slumping against the back of the seat. "So 'the unknown' was nothing. It was just to see who could pick first."
The others nodded, Jade exhaling heavily. "I can't believe it's over, just like that."
"I know," Roy agreed, frowning slightly. "I feel like we got cheated out of a final challenge."
"I feel like we got cheated out of five thousand dollars," Ian laughed slightly. "All that work, all that dangerous stuff..."
"I streaked." I put my head in my hands. "I streaked in front of hundreds of people for nothing," I said, unable to stop myself from laughing out the last few words. Somehow, despite how depressing the whole thing was, I couldn't help but find it funny. As we continued to talk about the crazy things this competition had somehow managed to make us do, it occurred to me that maybe I wasn't sad we lost-- maybe I was just sad it was over.
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