Last night the hang out was great it's been a while since I've hung out with all of the girls at once.

Lauren and Camila talked and decided to forget about that kiss, that made Lauren hate Camila.

Lauren and Sabrina talked and Sabrina agreed that me and her are really close but she'll back off and give us space when we're together.

I get up and grab an outfit.

I grab a towel then walk to the bathroom.

I shower and once I'm done I change into the black tee, black ripped jeans, black vans, and a black snap back.

I walk out to the room and shake Lauren awake.

She groans and rolls over.

I climb on top of her.

"Babe, I need a ride home. I have to pack my stuff,"I say and she sits up looking at me.

"Can't you do that later?"

"I wish I could but life is life,"

"Do you even want to move out?"She asks resting her hand on my thigh.

"Honestly? No. That house has all of my memories, I don't want to move out, but my mom's selling the house,"I say looking down.

She lifts my head and I look in her eyes.

"Why don't we buy the house?"She asks.

"I thought we were moving in with my cousins?"

"Well it depends. We can move in with them, but we can also buy your house so we can have a place of our own,"She says.

"Lauren are you sure?"

"Yeah, if you really don't want to leave that house. Let's buy it,"

Lauren and I graduated. For my birthday Lauren flew us out to Florida. We bought the house after my parents moved.

We still have to get everything to the house. That's the issue. We're both kinda weak.

"Lauren. We have to take the stuff to the house,"I say getting out of bed.

"Why? I can just tell my brothers to,"She groans.

It's the afternoon already and Lauren has not stepped out of bed unless she uses the bathroom or something like that.

"Laurie, we've been laying down all day,"

"You're point?"

She sits up.

"My point is that you're moving and you don't have a single box at the house,"

"Fine I'll shower then we can move stuff to the house,"She says and pecks my lips before walking to the bathroom with a towel.

I already showered and did everything I had to while Lauren was laying down.

I walk downstairs and look at Christina.

"Did you get her out of bed?"She asks and I nod.

"Took me a few hours,"

"Yeah when she doesn't want to get up she won't get up,"

"Is there food?"

"There's should be some on the table I told the boys to leave some for you and Lauren,"

"Thanks,"

"It's only fair. You got stuck trying to get her up."

"Also do you guys need help with moving stuff. Lauren has a lot stuff. Stuff that she probably doesn't even know she has,"

"We probably will need help,"

"Yeah no offense, but you've gotten weaker since we met you,"

I roll my eyes.

It's true.

I walk into the kitchen.

I eat a quarter of whatever is left because I honestly don't know why, but I haven't been eating that much.

"Is Y/s/N with Dani?"I ask Lisa.

"Yeah,"

I groan and walk upstairs and see the door open.

They leave the door open cause if they shut it, I open it and sit in the room for hours keeping them distant.

I walk to Laurens room and I sit on her bed.

She comes out of the bathroom with a tight black long sleeve, her hair in a half up half down ponytail with a orange scrunchie holding it up, black jeans, and black shoes.

"There's food downstairs for you,"I say.

"Did you eat?"She asks.

I nod.

"Did you eat enough?"

"Yes Lauren,"

"Are you sure because you passed out the other day. I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself,"She says grabbing my hands.

"Lauren. I am taking care of myself. I'm just never hungry,"

"Okay come on,"She says letting go of one of my hands and we walk downstairs.

She sits at the table and eats what I left for her while trying to sneak glances at me.

"Laur, I'm fine,"I say.

She finishes the food and washes her plate and fork.

"Do we have to start taking boxes?"She asks while walking closer to me.

"Yup,"

"Why can't we do it later?"

"Because every time I agree to do it later. You find a way to distract me all day and then we end up staying here all day,"

"It's not my fault you get distracted easily,"

"It is your fault."

She rolls her eyes.

"No its not,"

"Whatever you want to believe honey,"

"Fine let's go,"She says and we walk upstairs.

We first take her clothes because that's essential.

We put them in the trunk of her car and then we get her cameras, her jewelry which is in its own box, and lastly decorations and pictures she has.

I would've thought she'd have more stuff.

Lauren drives and I sit in the passenger seat.

She drives to the house and once we get there she gets out.

I then get out and unlock the door to the house first.

I see her trying to get a box, but I grab it from her and take it inside.

I help her with all of the boxes and once we finish we lay down on the couch in the living room.

We did go out and buy some furniture for rooms a while ago so the kitchen and living room are already done. We finished our room yesterday and the guest rooms. Well the guest rooms just have mattresses in them.

Just imagine picture frames on the walls and dresser.

We decided to keep the room basic because that was already to much work.

We may or may not have needed two closets.

Laurens clothes is on top because of how frickin short I am.

We have a bathroom in our room so that'll save me from walking down a hallway to use it.

That's pretty much it for the house. My cousins move next month, we still haven't told them or my sisters about us moving here.

Right now Lauren and I are in the kitchen.

She keeps trying to get me to eat something, but I'm not hungry.

"Y/N please just eat something,"She says.

"I'm fine. I'm not hungry,"I say.

"You haven't eaten all day. You barely ate yesterday. What's wrong?"She asks.

"Nothing. I just don't want to eat,"

"You did this before. What's wrong? Please answer me. I moved in with you. I left my family. No secrets,"

"Lauren. I miss them. I hate my parents, but I miss them. They made everything possible for me. If I had different parents do you think I would've met you? Would I have given you the tour of the school that first day? Would we even know each other? If it weren't for them everything would be different. We wouldn't be standing here in this house together. We wouldn't be together. We wouldn't know each other. I miss them Laur,"I say looking down.

She awes and walks closer to me grabbing my hands.

"It's okay to miss them. I would miss my parents if they moved hours away from us. I know, you're still trying to adjust to the change and that's okay. Just because you miss them though doesn't mean you have have to stop taking care of yourself. It's okay,"She says and kisses my forehead.

"I love you Lauren."

"I love you too,"She says and pecks my lips.

"Now please eat something,"She says.

"Okay,"

"You want anything specific?"

"No,"

"There's leftovers from yesterday in the fridge,"She says.

Yesterday we had a family dinner. All the girls and boys were there. Lynne and Mike Sr. were.

Basically everyone ate, but they saved food for me just in case I got hungry later. I left the food untouched in the fridge.

I get up and put the food in the microwave and heat it up.

After it heats up I set down and eat.

Once I finish I wash the dishes I used and then go to the living room and sit down.

Lauren comes over and lays down with her head on my lap.

I play with her hair and she smiles at me.

I lean down and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Babe I have to record tomorrow, I know we had plans, but I'm sorry,"She says.

We've been planning this trip for weeks.

We were going to Paris. Tomorrow is our flight.

"Okay, that's fine,"I say.

"I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you,"She says.

"It's fine Lauren,"I say.

I've wanted to go to Paris since I was little. I had a friend Kylie who moved there when we were ten and I wanted to see her. We had it aranged it and everything. I was also going to do something.

"I'm really sorry. We can go some other time,"She says.

"Lauren it's fine really."

I get up and get my shoes on.

"Where are you going?"She asks.

"I'll be at Allys' house,"I say.

"I'm sorry Y/N I can't go. If you want to go. Go ahead I won't stop you. I just can't,"She says.

"If I want to go somewhere you can't stop me. I'll be back later. Or tomorrow. Or next week,"

I grab my keys and phone.

I walk out shutting the door behind me.

I get in my car and start it.

I hit the steering wheel before driving.

I go to Allys' place.

I get out of my car taking the keys out of the ignition.

I lock the door and walk I to the house.

"Ally. I need help,"I say and she walks in the room.

"What's wrong?"She asks hugging me.

"Lauren has to record tomorrow, we aren't going to Paris. She has the band. Looks like I don't need this."

I say toss a box on the floor.

She pulls away from me and picks it up.

She opens it.

"She canceled going to Paris?"

I nod.

"Instead of going to Paris you are staying here. She has plans so you make plans. You could propose some other time. What about on your one year?"

"She'll be on tour then,"

She hands me the ring.

"You don't need to be in Paris to do this. You can propose in front of her family or in private. It doesn't matter as long as it's you proposing,"

"Ally. Clearly she'd rather be in front of a camera filming a video for thousands to watch. I can go a little longer."

"You know what I think? I think you need a break. From Lauren. Not a long one just a week with me and the girls,"

"I could use that,"

"Exactly. Next week?"

"This week. Tomorrow,"

"Okay well I'll text the girls. You go pack your stuff,"She says.

"Thanks Ally,"

"Anytime,"

I get up and walk to the door.

I go back to my car and drive home.

I stop the car, get out, lock the doors, and walk inside.

I see Lauren on the couch and I walk upstairs.

I grab a backpack and put a few tees and jeans in it.

I put my toothbrush and toothpaste, my hair brush, deodorant, perfume, and a few face masks because I'm not trying to break out.

I zip up the bag and I set the bag down by the door.

"Why do you have so much stuff in it?"Lauren asks.

"Tomorrow I'm leaving. I'm going away with the girls for a week. That'll give you enough time to record your video and a few songs. If you want to,"

She rolls her eyes.

"All of this because I'm canceling our trip?"

"We've been planning this for weeks straight Lauren. I connected with my friend who I haven't talked to in years for this. Just for me to tell them 'I'm sorry I can't make it'. I planned so many things. So yeah, all of this because you canceled all of that,"

I walk upstairs and to our room.

I shut the door and lock it.

I lay down on the bed and look at the walls full of pictures of Lauren and I.

I grab my phone and call Kylie.

She answers and I sigh.

"Hey Kylie. I know I said me and my girlfriend were going to visit you, but I'm sorry she had other plans. I'm not going to make it I hope you understand,"I say and sit up.

"Yeah I totally understand. Take your time Y/N. You can visit whenever you want. With or without your girlfriend,"

"Thank you for understanding,"

"Anytime. I have to go I'll call you later,"

"Alright Bye Kylie,"

"Bye child,"She says and hangs up.

I put my phone down and there's a knock on my door.

I ignore it and play music.

Soon the door opens.

"I know how to pick a lock,"Lauren says.

"What are you doing?"

"Why are you so upset over this trip. This one specifically. Why?"

"It doesn't matter. Whatever I had planned it's all gone to shit. Leave me alone,"

"You've been like this ever since your parents moved. You've had more of an attitude. You've been a bitch lately,"

"Lauren, this is the last thing I need right now,"

"No I'm gonna tell you how you've been acting, and how I feel about it,"

"Just leave me the fuck alone,"

"No, I moved in because I love you. And now you won't talk to me. I should just move back in with my family,"She says walking out.

I roll my eyes.

I can't stop her.

I grab the closest thing to me and throw it across the room.

I watch as the glass from the picture frame shatters.

Lauren runs into the room.

"What the hell did you do?"

She looks at the picture on the ground.

"You could've chosen any picture. You chose our first date. I don't know what's gotten into you, but this isn't the girl I fell in love with. This isn't the girl I hope to to marry one day. This isn't the girl I want to have kids with. This isn't the girl I moved in with. Why?"

"It doesn't matter Lauren,"

I know I shouldn't be mad. It's not like she knows I was going to propose.

"Answer me. Why aren't you the same?"

I get up and as I try walking out of the door she grabs my arm and pulls me to the bed.

She sits down and pulls me down too.

"Y/F/N, I know this isn't the real you. This isn't the you that everyone knows and loves. Please tell me what's going on. I just need to know if I did something wrong. I can't be the only one trying."She says on the verge of tears.

"Why do you stay with me?"I ask letting a tear slip.

"Why do I stay with you?"

"I'm broken Lauren. I'm unworthy of love. I'm useless. Why are you with me?"

"It takes a strong person to admit their flaws to someone. With you, you didn't hesitate to show me the real you. You are worthy. We all are broken in our own ways. Some people just hide it. You are not useless. I love you Y/F/N. That is why I'm with you,"

"I love you too Lauren. I know I'm not the best at showing it at times. I grew up with my mom and dad arguing. Then they'd make up and argue again. It scared me as that five year old girl in her room trying not to cry because of her broken family. That five year old girl who didn't grow up with three of her sisters. That five year old girl who understood what it was to have family problems. No one knows about my past, because I tried to erase it from my life I act like my family is perfect and my parents are perfect, in reality I don't want anyone to grow up like I did. Lauren it scares me because what if we have kids one day and I'm not a good parent. I don't want to let a child grow up in a broken family. I don't want a child to look up to a mom who is broken, and hurt, and scared, and is a bad person. That's the last thing I want for a kid. Lauren it scares the hell out of me,"I say crying,

She wraps her arm around me and I cry into her chest.

"I promise you if we have kids one day. You will be a great mother you are not a bad person. Yes, the kid will be broken one day. That's normal though. It's okay to be hurt, everyone is hurt at times, we can't control that as humans. It's okay to be scared. If you're scared you'll be a bad mother it already proves you're going to be a great one. It shows that you will care for that child deeply and you will always love that child. The last thing on earth that you will be, is a bad parent. Don't worry about this. You won't let our future child down like your parents let you down,"She says rubbing circles on my back as I cry.

"Lauren. In my family my parents sucked. Their parents sucked. Their parents weren't together. My family history is all fucked up Lauren,"

"Just because your family before you was messed up doesn't mean we'll mess up as parents,"

"How am I supposed to believe that? We don't even have a kid and we were just fighting. If any other couple were to fight like that I'm pretty sure they'd break up,"