—𝘼 𝙇𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏 𝙎𝙐𝙋𝙋𝙀𝙍!

❛❛ 𝙄 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝘿 𝘼 𝙍𝙐𝙈𝙊𝙍 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙋𝙐𝙉𝘾𝙃𝙀𝘿 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙎𝙀𝙇𝙁 𝙄𝙉 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁𝘼𝘾𝙀. ❜❜

~ ☂︎︎ ~

𝙇𝙄𝙇𝘼 𝙂𝙍𝙐𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿 as she attempted to remove Five's foot from her neck. He only added more pressure. "You've got a good nose," the Handler commented. "You know, planting her in a psych ward, taking advantage of my simpleton brother, that was smart," Five said, still pushing down on Lila. "Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," she replied, looking down at her.

I looked between the two. "She's your-"

"Daughter. Yes. And she's my only one, so I'd appreciate it if he didn't crush her windpipe," she interrupted, gesturing to Five. Five glared at her before reluctantly releasing Lila. She hopped up and glared at him. "I am so going to enjoy killing you someday." They glowered at each other for a few moments.

"Lila, darling, would you give us a minute, please?" The Handler asked. "Yes, the grown-ups need to talk." The Handler nodded at her so she rolled her eyes and walked away. She knocked a pan to the floor. I was about to follow her but the Handler stopped me. "No, I need to talk to you as well, (Y/N)." I shrugged and stood next to Five. "So. What the hell do you want?" I asked.

"Do you like jazz, you two?" She asked.

"I would rather lick a cheese grater."

"Aww," she began to walk around. "Jazz is like a beautiful woman. Complex, emotional, hard to please. She doesn't just give it to you, she makes you work for it."

"I'm really hoping that you're going somewhere with this," I replied, turning around to face her. "Under my leadership, the Commission would sound more like," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "jazz." She began to mimic a soft jazz rhythm.

"And what about the board of directors?" Five asked. "The what?" I whispered. "I'll explain later."

"Well, that's where you two come in," she replied, bopping both of our noses. "Nope. No, it isn't." She began to walk around us. "In exchange for the assassination of the board, I'm willing to get you two and your family out of this timeline and back to 2019 where you belong." I turned once again to face her. "And what about World War III that's due to kick off in just a few days?" I asked. "Once you and your siblings are gone, that goes away."

"And the apocalypse when we get back to 2019?" Five questioned. "That too," she replied. "I distinctly remember you telling me that that apocalypse had to happen, that it was supposed to happen," Five pointed out. "Back then I was toeing company line, but once I'm in charge..."

She started making the soft rhythm again, dancing behind us. "...we can riff."

"Jazz."

"Exactly," she confirmed. "What about the board of directors, hmm? I mean, nobody knows who they are," Five stated. "Correct. But once every fiscal quarter they get together for a board meeting."

"Where?" I asked. "The question is when. They meet somewhere in the timeline but never in the same place twice. The exact location and date of these board meetings is the most closely-guarded secret in the Commission," she said. "But you know where it's gonna be, don't you?"

"Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't?" She walked up to us. Five looked at me. "We'll need some time to think about it," I said, beginning to walk away. "Fine. But remember, doomsday's right around the corner, and the way things are going, I'm your only option." I paused and turned around, scoffing softly.

"Not yet you aren't."

~ ☂︎︎ ~

"𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙄𝙎 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙊𝙉𝙀. 1624 Magnolia Street."

We arrived at a building with a sign reading "Southland Life." Shortly after leaving the Handler, Five and I received a letter from a weirdly skeletal man. It read:

To my Pursuers:

I, Reginald Hargreeves,

request the pleasure of your

company for a light supper on

the 20th of November, 1963

at half past seven o'clock.

• 1624 Magnolia Street •

Dallas, Texas

We walked up the stairs of the building and into the elevator. It opened and both of us walked inside. I went to close the door but a hand stopped it. "Wait up." In walked Diego. "Hold it!" Followed by Allison, Klaus, and Vanya.

"Hey, everyone." I went to close the door again but Luther came in. "Excuse me." I finally was able to close the door. "Good. We're all here," Five smiled. I watched the numbers slowly count as we moved up.

We stood in silence until I heard Luther grunt softly and a pungent smell came to my nose. Allison caught on and took a whiff. "Oh." Everyone began to plug their nose. "Oof. Luther!" I turned away from him. "Oh my god." I groaned. "Dude, that's disgusting."

"Sorry, I'm nervous."

We finally got to the top and all immediately ran out. "Nasty. I'm choking!" Five pushed his way out. "None of that."

I walked into a tiki lounge, following Five to the table in the center of the room. "All right, when Dad gets here, I'll do the talking, okay?" Five said. "Got a few questions for him myself," Diego interrupted. "Hey, we don't wanna scare him off, all right? He might be able to stop doomsday, get us home," Five replied. "No, Five, we need to figure out why he's planning to kill the president."

"This is a matter of life and death, you imbecile."

"Okay, yeah," Vanya interjected, "Maybe we should take turns talking. Yeah?" She tried. She picked up a decoration off of one of the tables. "Here, whoever has this conch shell gets to talk," she stated. "Vanya, we don't have time for debate, okay?" Five explained.

"Maybe I should lead. We all know I'm a much better public speaker than the rest of you," Allison said, grabbing the shell from Vanya. "Okay, Daddy's girl," Diego muttered. "Oh, jealous, Number Two?" She quipped. He turned around. "Hey, no more numbers. No more bullshit. We're Team Zero. We're all Team Zero."

"Uh, Diego," Luther started, "You don't have the conch." I snorted. Diego smiled, nodded, took the shell from Allison, and threw it against the floor. "Classic," Allison said.

The doors suddenly flew open and Reginald, or Dad, or whatever he is now, stormed in. We all watched him and quickly took our seats. "Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me, but you have, on numerous occasions, called me..."

Klaus took his seat and grunted softly. "Hey, Pop. How's it hangin'?"

"...Dad."

"My reconnaissance tells me you're not CIA, not KGB, certainly not MI6, so," he continued, "Who are you?" He looked around the table. The rest of us seemed to be at a loss for words. "We're your children," Five began. Dad turned to him. "We're from the future. In 1989, you adopted us all and trained us to fight against the end of the world. Called us the Umbrella Academy." Klaus raises his glass.

"Why on earth would I adopt seven-"

"Eight," Allison interrupted, "One of us isn't here." We sighed. "Dead. One of us is dead."

"Dead, yes, but I'm here. Klaus! (Y/N)! Tell them I'm here," Ben shouted. "Hey, um, Ben is actually-"

"Yeah, ba ba ba ba ba ba. Enough of that now," Klaus stopped me. He turned back around to the group and gestured for them to carry on. "Regardless, what would possess me to adopt eight ill-mannered malcontents?" Dad asked. "We all have special abilities," Five replied. "Special? In what sense?" He questioned.

"In the superpower sense," Luther stated. "Call me old-fashioned, but I'm a stickler for a pesky little thing called evidence," Dad said, setting his hands on the table. "Show me."

"Everybody wants to see powers all of a sudden," Allison scoffed, taking a sip of her drink. "We're not circus animals, okay? We're not gonna bounce balls on our noses and clap our hands like seals for your amusement," Luther spoke.

Diego then immediately threw a knife, curving it past Dad, landing it in a pole behind him. Dad took out a notebook and began to write. "What are you writing?" Diego asked. "You are zero for two, young man." Allison snorted. Diego stood up to attack him but Five teleported and held him back. "Stop!" He whisper-shouted. "Now that is interesting," Dad said, making a few more notes.

"All right, uh, quick rundown. Luther: super strength. Klaus can commune with the dead. Allison can rumor anyone to do anything."

"Except she never uses it," Diego muttered. Allison looked up and turned to him. "I heard a rumor you punched yourself in the face." Diego hit himself and groaned, nursing the wound. "Damn it!" He shouted. Vanya and I giggled as Allison sipped from her drink.

"And (Y/N)," Five continued, "(Y/N) is a little complicated." Everyone looked at me. "God, what is it with all of you staring at me," I muttered. "Okay, I have shadow powers. But they're kind of, different? In a way? I can teleport, as you saw a few nights ago, I can hit you with blasts of power, I can draw from your life force, making you fall asleep or even kill you, and...what am I forgetting? Oh yeah, I can also commune with the dead," I finished. Dad seemed to take many, many, notes on that.

"A demonstration?" He asked. I sighed, standing up. "First, teleportation." I fell back into my shadow and reappeared behind him. "Then, the blasts." I aimed and hit a cup at another table. "Drawing at your life force." I looked around the tables and saw a plant. I drained it and watched its leaves crumble, wither away, and die. "And communing with the dead. My summoning isn't that great, but I can see Be-"

"Hey, hey! I thought I said no earlier," Klaus said. "Fine," I sighed, and sat back down. Dad wrote some more.

"And you?" Dad pointed at Vanya. "Uh, maybe we don't take Vanya for a test run," Luther commented. "Oh yeah, that's probably not a good idea," Klaus agreed. "Yeah."

"It's fine. I can handle it," Vanya insisted.

"Handle it? Last time you handled it, you definitely blew up the moon."

She took out a fork and went to hit the cup. We all began to scoot back. "No, Vanya, don't!" She hit it, letting a small ding come out. She concentrated as the food in the center of the table exploded, getting chunks of fruit all over us.

Everyone signed, wiping the food off. "This is my favorite shirt. Wow," Klaus muttered. "Oops," Vanya said shyly. "That was impressive," Luther said. "Yeah, that control was so much better," I whispered at Vanya from across the table. She smiled at me. Allison switched her straw to another drink.

"Look, we know that you're involved in a plot to assassinate the president," Diego stood up. I rolled my eyes. "You were recently hospitalized, isn't that correct?" Dad asked. Diego tried to say something but Dad continued. "You still appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia."

"Am I?" Diego pulled the picture out of his pocket. "Explain this." He handed the photo to him. "That's you. That's two days from now on the grassy knoll at the exact spot the president's gonna get shot." Dad picked up the picture and examined it closer.

"Well...I suppose you've solved it," he began, handing the picture back to him. "You've single-handedly unearthed my nefarious plot. Is that what you what to hear? You fancy yourself a do-gooder? The last good man who will save us from our descent into corruption and conspiracy? This is a fantastic delusion. The sad reality is that you're a desperate man, tragically unaware of his one insignificance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. More succinctly, a man in over his head."

Diego slowly sinked back into his seat over the course of his speech. I watched as tears appeared in his eyes. "You're...wr-wrong," he stuttered out. "Diego," I whispered, reaching out my hand from across the table, but he didn't move. A tear dripped down his face. We all stared at him sadly.

"Look, forget about the president. We have a catastrophic war coming in five days. We need to figure out how to stop it," Five said. "War?" Dad questioned. "Men will always be at war with each other," he said. "No, this isn't just some war," I spoke. "He's talking about a doomsday. The end of the world."

"Well, you're the special ones, aren't you? Why don't you band together and do something about it?" Dad suggested. I saw Ben sitting in the corner.

"All right, screw it," he said, and did the weirdest thing. He ran into Klaus. Klaus started shaking and convulsing. "Is he having a seizure?" Allison asked. "Overdosing probably," Diego sighed. We all stared at him. "Should we do something?"

"Klaus," Five whispered, "Now is not the time. What are you doing?" Klaus slowly turned to Dad. "I'm..."

"Out with it, boy!"

"Ben!" I watched Ben fall out of Klaus as they both collapsed on the ground. Klaus shuddered. "Well," Dad picked up his books, "thank you for coming. I've seen about enough." He made his way to the door. "No, I-"

Luther stuttered out. He hit the table and stood up, ripping open his shirt. "Look at what you did to me. Look at it!" He shouted. "Oh shit, why," Five said, leaning back in his seat. "Oh, dear lord," I muttered. We all looked at Luther.

Dad stared a moments longer, then pointed to me and Five. "You in the culottes, and you, the powerful one. A word, in private?" We followed Dad out.

"Check, please."

—𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍'𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀!

I felt bad for

in that scene. old

bringing his

back :(((((((