I couldn't get even an ounce of sleep the entire night. How could you do this, Christopher? How could you? That has been the only question banging in my head like a hard metal since I left Nicole's clinic yesterday. How could I say those awful words to Nicole? What happened to me? What did the hell get into me at that time? Why did I react so? I was never like this. I know I do nasty shit, but I have always talked about respecting women among my men. Then how did I disrespect a woman myself? I feel like hitting my head against a wall repeatedly until I feel this guilt over my chest slumping down. But will it happen? Will I be able to face Nicole after what happened? Fuck! I know I wouldn't find peace until I apologize to Nicole. But how am I going to do it? Will she even want to see my face after what I did?

I am extremely angry and disappointed with myself. I repeat the words that I said again and again in my head and curse myself. That was pretty disgusting, Christopher! I truly regret each and every word that had left out of my mouth. If it had been in my capacity, I would have taken back every single letter of what I said. I wish I could have, but I know I can't. Now I have to repent for what I did. Yes, Christopher, this is what you have to go through when you talk shit without thinking straight.

I lean back and take a deep breath. A couple of days before, everything was fine. We were living happily. Nicole even started being comfortable around me. She was opening up to me, even if it was only a little. I and Nicole were getting along so well that I can't even express how happy I was about it. But then the night when I came injured something really strange happened. Nicole kissed me. Yes, you heard me right, Nicole kissed me! That was a total shock to me, a completely unexpected one. I mean, that kiss was crazy! That sole kiss messed my mind completely. Her kiss left me distraught and desperate. I wasn't mad at her because she kissed me; I was exasperated because she kissed me and left. Yes, she freaking kissed me and left me hanging without an explanation. Fucking unbelievable? I mean, that's insane!

I close my eyes and try to remember the kiss again. I can't explain how good it was. Every cell in my body lits up with passion when I think about it. It felt absolutely amazing to have her soft lips on mine. For a moment I thought I was dreaming. Nicole would never kiss me. I was very much sure about it. But then, when I actually felt her lips moving against mine, I believed it was not a dream. It was all real. And honestly, it beat all my fantasies. I had imagined kissing Nicole before, but never thought it would be this wonderful. That felt like fucking heaven! I have never been affected by a kiss like this ever before. That was freaking mind-blowing! My desire for her has indeed grown stronger since that kiss. I remember kissing her back with the same passion that she was kissing me. The way she kissed me made me believe that she feels the same for me. It cleared all my doubts. I have known for a long time that Nicole had feelings for me, and the kiss just confirmed it. I was on cloud nine thinking about it. I had even decided to tell her how I feel about her, but then the next moment she fucking left me. I was so happy that she was kissing me and then when I thought we were going to take it to the next level; she freaking abandoned me.

When she got off me and rushed to her room, I wanted to go immediately behind her and ask her why did she do that? To ask her why did she kiss me? But I couldn't because then I would have looked like a desperate little teenager who wanted his girlfriend's attention badly after a terrible breakup.

The next morning when we met again for the breakfast, I thought that this was the chance for me to confront her about what is going on between us. But then again, she denied having any feelings for me. I don't know why she was running from this, from what she was feeling. She said that she kissed me because she was caught up in the moment. Can you freaking believe that? No, right? I didn't believe either. I knew she was lying. She argued with me, telling me that she felt nothing for me and it was just an act of showing self-control. What the fuck? That's such a lame excuse.

And then she freaking kissed me again. Fuck! Why is she doing this to me? And it was not just a kiss, but it was much more than that. She literally rubbed herself on me. That was another unexpected one. Only I could know how difficult it was for me to restrict myself from bending her right on the kitchen counter and fucking her hard from behind until she accepted her feelings for me. Thinking about her body rubbing against mine makes me immediately hard. Fuck! Get a grip, Christopher! This isn't the right time for it.

The point is, she fucking made out with me, and then she again left. She fucking left me emotionally and sexually frustrated. You know how difficult it is for us men to control it. If you know what I mean. I was just moments away from ripping my hair off my head and running around screaming like a madman. But then again, I calmed myself. I controlled my emotions, thinking Nicole would answer my questions.

Keeping that in my mind I went for the meeting that was scheduled with the Brown enterprises. I and Max went there appearing very professional for the meeting. Everything was a part of our strategy. Our plan was to make them believe in us. We met for the first time and it proved to be successful as they seemed to be interested in investing in our company. That was what Peter and Richard wanted. Everything went according to our plan, and I was glad about it. I don't know where Richard is at the moment. Max told me that he is out of the states. Anyway, that isn't my concern right now.

As soon as the meeting ended, I received an email on my phone. It was from some unknown Id. When I opened it, I found the pictures of Nicole and Peter in it. The moment I saw it, my mind was completely blown. Never in my dreams, I expected Nicole to be knowing Peter. I didn't expect it from Peter either, after all, we are working together. Did he do it on purpose? Did he know about me and Nicole or it's just a mere coincidence? That I need to ask him myself. Nicole really seemed to be happy and laughing in them. It appeared from the pictures that they were very close and it made my blood boil.

I was angry with Nicole. How could she do this? She never told me that she knew Peter. I don't know how long they have known each other. When and where did they meet? What if they were in a relationship? But then she wouldn't have kissed me. With so many questions in my head, I bolted out towards her clinic to know what is going on between her and Peter. I never intended to be harsh or much less say those things. But when I went there and entered her clinic, I saw that guy, Samuel holding her. It seemed to me as an intimate gesture and that's when I fucking lost my temper completely.

I thought it was only Peter whom I had to tackle, but it seemed like this kid was also on the list. I freaking couldn't take this anymore. I was so angry that I literally would have ripped his head out of his body. If Nicole wouldn't have been there, I would have punched the hell out of that kid.

The moment I saw Nicole hugging back Sam I couldn't help but think about her kissing me. I started getting weird thoughts. My mind began to fill with absurd questions. What if she had kissed Sam? What if she had kissed Peter too? Then those images flashed in front of me. Nicole kissing Peter, images of him touching her and it freaking killed me. I couldn't think straight. The only answer I wanted that time was for her to tell me that she had nothing to do with him.

And that's what led to all the things that I have said to her. I wasn't in my original self. All I could see was the rage in front of me. I was so freaking mad that I didn't have knowledge of what I was saying. I was going on and on without paying attention to what Nicole was saying. Then I got to know what I was blabbering only when she slapped me. The moment her hand made contact with my skin, I was kicked back to my senses. I realized then that I have committed a big mistake, but it was too late. I said way more things than I should have intended to say. But the damage was already done. I was drenched in shame as soon as the realization hit upon me. And the hurt that I saw in her eyes added to my guilt more. I wanted to apologize to her instantly, but it was already late. She wasn't in a state to listen to me. I hate myself for doing that to her. I opened my mouth to say something, but she didn't want me to be there, so I shut my mouth, obeying her decision, and left the clinic.

I look at my bloodied knuckles. It had been a result of what I did last night. Yesterday after leaving the clinic I came back in the evening to check whether Nicole was okay. I followed her back home without getting noticed by her. My eyes didn't leave her for a moment as she stepped out of the cab and made her way towards the door. She looked extremely exhausted and sad, and I was the one to be blamed for it.

I saw her slumped figure going into the house. I was sitting in my car looking from afar. Several times I thought of getting out and going into the house, I wanted to beg her to forgive me but I couldn't gather the courage to go in. The whole time I kept staring at the lights of her room, which were telling me that she wasn't asleep. And it fucking killed me more. I don't remember when in the middle of the night I got out of the car and started punching the wall of the house in front of me. That seemed the only way to let out the pent up guilt inside of me. I realized what I was doing only when my knuckles were bleeding. You fucking deserve this and much more, Christopher! But that still could not compensate for the pain that I have caused Nicole. I don't know what should I do to make me feel any less worse?

I grip the steering wheel tightly as I wait for Max. It's Sunday afternoon and Max called me a while ago and said that he has traced the IP address of the laptop from which photos were sent and that he got the location too. I must say that Max is a one genius techie. I am so happy that he found it. It means I am going to get that fucking bastard now.

Finally, I see Max coming out of the house where he is staying currently. He gets into the car and puts on the GPS. Without wasting a single second, I hit the ignition.

"Hey man, what happened to your hands?" He asks, looking at my bruised knuckles as we get on the road. I don't look at him as I keep my gaze fixed on the road. After not getting a reply from me he says.

"I know you are not in a good mood, but hurting yourself is not the solution, Chris."

I turn around and shoot a pissed look at Max, and he takes the clue that I am not at all interested in having a chat with him.

The drive is long as the address that Max has found out is on the other side of the city. I speed the car so that I can reach there as soon as possible. I am so infuriated right now that I don't even have a grasp of how fast I am going. I am going to fucking kill the man who is behind this.

"Slow down or you are going to kill us, Chris!!" Max shouts, looking petrified.

"Shut the fuck up, Max, and let me drive." I bark violently.

Max doesn't interrupt during the rest of the ride.

We reach the destined place in about an hour. I park the car in front of the apartment. And we saunter into the narrow alley, having the way to the elevator. The surroundings seem to be dirty with a few bikes parked in front. I don't bother to look around as I storm into it. The apartment looks tiny with a single house on each floor. We use the elevator and reach the 3rd floor.

When I get to the door, I kick it open. As we enter, the first thing that appears to us is a lean guy sitting on the couch with a half-naked woman on his lap. I don't know, but the guy looks oddly familiar to me. They turn towards us as we march in. The woman screams and jumps out of his lap as soon as she looks at us.

"What the fuck?" The man yells, looking at us.

"Get out!!" I shout immediately, looking at the woman as she grabs her clothes from the floor. Wearing them in a hurry, she runs out. The moment she leaves, Max shuts the door and I march towards the man. I grab him by his collar, making him stand abruptly. He looks at me in shock. I signal Max to check the house.

I then turn around and glare at the man. "Who the fuck you think you are?" I ask him, growling.

"What do you want from Nicole? Huh?" I grip his collar tightly, jerking him forward.

"Why were you taking her pictures? Tell me?" I demand furiously, not letting him speak.

He eyes me with a serious expression, and then suddenly bursts into laughter. What the fuck? His disgusting smile makes me more furious. I am going to kill this Fucker!

"Oh Christopher, I am offended that you didn't recognize me." He says with a dirty smirk on his face and I furrow my eyebrows at him in confusion.

"Remember a year ago I came to you for an arms trade. We had a meeting, and you agreed to work with me." He reminds.

"But then you got a better dealer than me, so you canceled our agreement at the very last moment." I try to recollect the deals that I had. Yes, I remember this dealer, so it's Thomas? I don't usually remember the deals that I have, but this one I particularly remember because I called it off at the last minute, which I don't do usually. We had the appointment, but I had to cancel it at the last moment because Josh brought us the other dealer who was his friend. I even told him that I can't drop this, but Josh requested me. He said that his friend was badly in need of money and his boss was even threatening him to get this deal. I couldn't deny helping Josh's friend, so I agreed.

"Thomas?!" I blurt, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Glad that you still remember." He chuckles looking at me and then his eyes turn icy cold.

"You don't know how much it costed me. I had a deal with the Europeans soon after, but since you refused to work with me it ruined my reputation and they canceled the deal too. People started rejecting my stock. It ruined our business. And that was all because of you." He looks at me with eyes filled with pure hatred.

"You ended my career, Christopher. It shattered my stature in the market. People laughed at me. That was fucking disrespecting." He exhales and says. "I wanted to get my revenge." He narrows his eyes at me maliciously.

"I wanted to ruin you. I wanted to make you feel the humiliation that I went through. For that, I started keeping tabs on you. So when I got to know about that woman you were looking for. I knew how to get back at you." He lets out a humorless chuckle. "I got to know that you were after her. From how desperately you were looking for her, I knew that you were interested in her. So I thought of using her." He says and I look at him in disbelief, trying to process what he is saying.

As Thomas is talking Max comes out from the bedroom and calls me. "See this Chris, He got so many pictures of Nicole and even you." I look at the phone in his hand as he scrolls down the images. He also shows the pictures that he is holding in his other hand. There were a few pictures of me, but mostly all of them were of Nicole. They were of Nicole going to her clinic and hanging out with her friends. It had also pictures of the time when she went to the shopping center. I look at them in bewilderment.

"So it was you who attacked her that night?" I ask him, instantly.

"Yes, I was trying to kidnap her, but unfortunately you came there and we had to run. I also sent one of my men in her house later that night, but then you fucking interrupted again. I don't know how the hell you got everywhere she was." He scoffs at me.

"But even if I couldn't get her, I still managed to mess with your head by doing that as you weren't able to work properly." He laughs, looking at me sympathetically. "You weren't concentrating on what you were doing as you kept looking for me." He smirks, saying that.

"It was only me who told Benjamin to do that. I told him to turn you down at the last moment. Just like you did to me. He was my good friend, so he accepted. But unfortunately, he got a little carried away." He shrugs. "I was the one who was spoiling your works." He admits.

As soon as he says that, I leave his collar and clutch his throat angrily, trying to choke him.

"You.... haven't even.... heard the best part." He sneers. "I also got to know that you were working with Peter and later when I saw your girl with him. I freaking got another chance to ruin your work." His words come out as muffled voices as he struggles under my grip.

"I took their pictures and sent them to you so your work with Peter would be disrupted too." His sickening laugh echoes as he continues.

"I know you would not be able to work with him knowing that he is fucking with your girl behind your back." He spats on my face.

"Shut the fuck up, you bastard!!" I roar, throwing a punch at his face as fuming anger bolts through my body and he falls back on the couch. I jump on him and start throwing fists onto him. All I could see is red in front of him. I am going to fucking kill him for whatever he did. I mindlessly keep throwing punches on his face until blood oozes out of his nose. And finally, I take out my gun and point towards him. I am going to end this right now.

"You are so stupid, Christopher. You think killing me would end everything?" He laughs, spitting blood.

"Were you this foolish before or have you become so after that accident?.."

That's it! Before he could say anything I pull the trigger and the bullet pierces through his head, splashing a few blood droplets over my face.

"CHRIS?!!!" Max screams beside me in shock, but it's too late. I didn't even realize that he was standing here.

So it was Thomas who did all this. I didn't even have the slightest idea that he could be behind this. Was he the one who informed the police the night we were having the deal with Russians? The night when I met Nicole? I remember Ben telling me about a third party behind it. So was it him? But Thomas didn't accept that. Maybe he just forgot about it. I wish I could have found Ben after it. Ben told me that he got another clue about it, but when I went to see him, he was not there. I tried his number and asking his neighbors, but nobody had any trace of where he was. Ben has been absconding since that day. Max and I couldn't find out where he went after that. What if Thomas did something to him? Fuck! I should have asked him this before killing him. How foolish it is of me to kill him without getting more information from him. I need to keep my fucking anger in check. Anyway, I can't do anything about it now.

I wipe my face with the back of my hand and turn towards Max.

"Find all of his other men and kill them. I don't want a single one of them alive. Do you understand? I don't want to risk Nicole's life." I tell him and he nods.

"What about these pictures?" He asks me, showing the pictures in his hands.

"Burn the ones with Peter and give the rest and his phone to me," I reply to him irritatedly and walk towards the door.