I stand behind Nicole as she unlocks the door to her apartment. On the way here, I had noticed the reason why she has chosen this apartment. I guess mainly because of the convenience it serves. Nicole doesn't have to worry about her commute, as this place seems still close to her clinic. She opens the door and gets in and I follow her. Before I can realize something jumps onto me. I see the big furry thing over me and realize that it's Frosty. I smile when he begins to lick my face. Damn! He has grown really big. I don't even remember when I saw him last time. He wags his tail and barks at me.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't miss you either." I say patting his head. When I look back at Nicole, I notice her smiling. What I wouldn't do to keep that smile forever on her face. Her eyes meet mine and her smile instantly fades away, making my heart sink. I watch her as she walks over to Frosty.

"You can go back to sleep, buddy." She says, rubbing his head and Frosty immediately runs back inside the house.

I straighten up and stand there and look around in disbelief. I still can't believe that I am standing in Nicole's apartment. It feels so fucking surreal. Never in these past 6 months, I would have imagined getting a chance to see her face again. Damn! Only I could know the torture that I went through in all these months without having her in my life. The moment I saw her back on that bench, I wanted nothing more than to grab her and hold her in my arms forever. Fuck! I can't express in words how much I fucking missed her.

It's true that in the last 6 months, she didn't leave my mind even for a second. Every single day, I went to bed imagining about holding her, kissing her, and showing her in every possible way that how much I loved her. And that's why being away from her became so fucking painful to me with each passing day. As much as I tried to believe that what I did was the best decision in her favor, I knew I couldn't move on in my life without tormenting my soul for that particular judgment.

At that very moment, I had the realization that I wasn't going to stay away from her forever because I knew it was never an option and never could be one, no matter how much I tried to deny it. And yesterday when I got the call from her dad letting me know that he was relieving me of his promise, it felt like a blessing in disguise. I don't know what made him do it, but from his voice, I sensed like he was finally regretting making that decision for his daughter. His words made me feel like a huge weight was being lifted off my shoulder. That moment I fucking knew I had no reason to wait anymore.

I was aware that stepping into Nicole's life again after going missing for entire 6 months would be a dangerous task. For obvious, I had to face the consequences for my deeds. I had to suffer for causing her this pain. So I kept myself prepared to endure the wrath of Nicole because I knew what I did was totally wrong. I knew she would be angry and frustrated with me for leaving her like that. I was even ready for her to let out her anger on me by any means that she can use because I knew I fucking deserved it. But honestly, the thing that tormented me the most was not her rage, but the thought of finding her moved on in her life with someone else. And the worst part was I couldn't even question her because she had every fucking right to move on with her life after how I left her.

What if she forgot about me? What if she is happy without me? What if she has a boyfriend now? What if she has started hating me? What if she doesn't want to see my face again? I had been weaving all these what-ifs in my mind, but what I didn't expect was to find about her being pregnant. It was one crazy moment when my eyes fell on her swollen belly. To say that I was just shocked would be an understatement. I wouldn't have expected that even in my wildest dreams. That discovery not only caught me off guard but also filled my entire body with pure joy. It made my eyes fill with tears of happiness and I couldn't really know how to express the emotions that I was feeling at that moment.

All this time, when I was away, I had no idea that Nicole was carrying a little human in her belly. A little baby that we made together, which was a part of her and also a part of me. I was going to be a father. Fuck! Thinking about it makes my heart fucking beat a thousand times faster. I know I should be angry at Mark for not telling me this before, but it just doesn't seem to matter anymore. The amount of happiness I am feeling right now is nothing compared to the rage that I could have felt for him. It just doesn't seem to exist. All I could think about now is my Nicole and the little me or little her that she is carrying in her round belly.

When I saw Nicole earlier, I knew something was different about her. She seemed chubbier, and it just made her look even sexier and pretty. Now I realize what's the reason behind her looking so radiant.

"Christopher?" Nicole gestures towards me to sit on the couch. "Do you want me to get something to drink?" she asks as she removes her coat and hangs it on the rack. I notice the beautiful white floral dress she is wearing which was earlier covered underneath the oversized coat she was having on. The dress hugs her belly perfectly, and it makes her look more gorgeous. Fuck! I look down at her full lips and restrain myself from grabbing her and kissing the hell out of her.

"No, thanks." I walk towards the couch, trying to distract my thoughts and place her bag that she dropped back there. I asked her to let me carry that for her. I feel guilty that she had already been through a lot on her own, so now when I am finally back, I wouldn't let her do anything.

"I just want you to sit here and listen to me," I say to her.

"Okay." She purses her lips and reaches to sit at a far corner of the couch. There is a moment of awkward silence as I sit down, keeping my distance. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

"You've got a nice place," I say to her after a moment, trying to start a conversation.

She puts a stray strand behind her ear and hesitates. "My parents got divorced." She then looks at me and says. "My mom came here to look after me and that's why we moved to this apartment."

"Is she here?" I ask her.

"No, she is out on her night shift." She answers. I want to ask her what does that means but at the same time, I don't want to be too nosy, so I simply jump to the next question.

"How are Francis and Charlotte?"

"They are good." She replies. "They have enrolled at UCLA. So we all can stay close."

"It means Mark is left alone in San Diego," I blurt, looking at her. "Maybe that's the reason why he finally got to realize his mistake."

Nicole raises an eyebrow at me in confusion when she doesn't get it.

"Your dad called me yesterday...." I begin to explain, but before I can go further, she cuts me off.

"So you decided to come back into my life again because my father granted you the permission to and not just because you really wanted to?" She asks me angrily.

"I didn't say that." I frown.

"But you exactly meant that."

I sigh. "No, Nicole. I mean, your father asking me to leave might be one reason...but there were several other factors too that led me to opt for that decision."

"Care to explain them to me?" Nicole says in a bitter tone.

"I had issues, Nicole. My mind wasn't in the right place."

"Then what did you do to get it in the right place?" She snaps, and it begins to piss me off.

"Will you just let me speak?" I clench my jaw and look at her. I don't know why she is being so childish. I can understand she is angry with me, but at least she can give me a chance to explain things to her. She doesn't say anything as she turns her gaze to the other side.

I let out a breath, feeling frustrated with myself, and take off my glasses and place it on the coffee table. I run my fingers through my hair and then look at her. "Nicole, I know you are angry with me for what I did. But I can't explain why I did so if you won't let me speak."

"I just don't understand why you couldn't have stayed and let me help you." She says, turning to meet my gaze, and I notice the pain in her eyes.

"It wasn't as easy as you make it sound, Cole. After everything that had happened, I was left truly broken. And my incapability to protect you made me despise my own existence. It was the most terrifying moment of my life to see you there on the hospital bed fighting for your life...just because of me." I exhale slowly, reminiscing about that moment. "How do you expect a man who fucking hated himself with all his guts to love someone else with his whole heart? That was not possible and even it was I knew you deserved better." I look into her eyes and say.

"I went fucking mad looking for you for an entire year, after merely knowing you for a few days," I sigh. "Do you think it wouldn't have been fucking hard for me to let you go after knowing that you would be the only woman that I'd ever love in my life?"

Nicole stares back at me and bites her lip. I could see in her blue eyes the internal battle that she is having, but then she surprises me when she pushes it aside and speaks. "What did...you do after you left?"

I nod, finding relief in knowing that at least she is willing to listen. "Mark kept his promise by not letting any of my involvements surf in the records. That's something that I would always be grateful to him along with saving your life." I look at Nicole and say. She doesn't interrupt, so I continue. "With Richard being gone, I knew I was going to be free, but along with that, the bitter realization that I couldn't use my credit cards anymore also hit me hard. I knew I needed to get rid of them and start fresh in my life. Luckily, I had some cash in my pocket to get back to LA. I landed here and went straight to grab my things. That's when I found a business card from it and then I remembered someone called Joseph. Joseph Brown once told me about lending a helping hand if I ever needed it."

"The famous industrialist Joseph Brown?" she asks curiously, and I nod with a smile. I am impressed to know that Nicole also keeps herself updated with the things going around in the business world.

"How do you know him?" She asks.

"It's a long story, but for now you just need to know I had once worked with him a while ago," I shrug.

"He was a kind man to appoint me for a respectable position in one of his offices. I guess he trusted me with my business skills. I joined his company, but being here in LA started to become difficult for me with each passing day." I confess.

"You were staying here, and I didn't even get to know about it." Nicole frowns.

"You weren't meant to know about it," I say, shaking my head. "Yet, I couldn't keep it that way. In the starting few days, I ended up stalking you to your clinic or any other place that you went to just to get a glimpse of your face." I say, looking a bit embarrassed. "But then I realized all my efforts will go in vain if I couldn't resist my feelings." I take a deep breath and glance at Nicole. "I realized if I stayed in this city any longer, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from reaching out to you. And it would ruin everything."

"For that reason, I asked Joseph to let me work at some other place. So he handed me over to another branch in San Francisco that accompanied accommodation." I look down at my lap for a moment and then look up again to see Nicole observing me closely. I clear my throat and continue. "Going to work kept me engaged, and I slowly started to feel better. When I wouldn't be at the office, I would be tiring my ass off at the nearby gym to forget everything, and everything mainly included you." I half-smile at her and say. "I knew I couldn't rely on Joseph for all my needs. Eventually, I had to repay him. So I worked hard until I gathered enough money to afford my therapy."

"Therapy?" Nicole repeats, widening her eyes at me.

"Yes. therapy." I nod. "It was known to me that work and gym weren't something that would cure my mental health. I needed something to deal with it. So I went to consult a psychologist for my treatment. Initially, I was skeptical about it working for me. But after four sessions, I started feeling comfortable. I couldn't actually regain my memories, but at least I was able to get out of that self-loathing phase I was in for a long time." I joke, trying to lighten the mood, but Nicole doesn't smile. She just keeps staring at me.

Her intense gaze makes me a bit nervous, so I look away for a moment, trying to remember where I was. "By the end of all my sessions, I and my psychologist Pete became pretty good friends. And once in his teasing mood, he even suggested that I should try going through the places or the people that would connect me to my past and joked that maybe I'll start remembering things then. He didn't know that I actually took his advice seriously." I chuckle and say. "I don't know why, but his words hit something inside my brain and I went straight to Cantabria. I started digging up for that particular case. It was difficult to get much information from the local police station as it had been three years since then and also it was just another closed accident case by now. However, I was able to gather some information from the newspaper cuttings and other articles printed at that time."

I sigh and close my eyes. I know what I had been through in the last 6 months had made me mentally stronger and better as a person, but there is still a part of me that feels weird to talk about it aloud. I open my eyes and find the courage to speak again. "Finally, I found what I was looking for. I got hold of the intelligence agency to which Christopher's body was handed over in place of mine. It had its headquarters in New York. I went to New York, to the intelligence bureau where Leo...I mean where I worked." I gulp, feeling a strange knot build in my chest when I hear my own name from my mouth. I am so engrossed in my talking that I don't even realize that Nicole is sitting right next to me. Until now, when I feel her palm over my thigh. She squeezes it gently, trying to comfort me, and I look up at her and nod.

"Unfortunately, I got to know that I was still an orphan...So was my adoptive father, Elijah Hill. That had been the only reason why he got me instead of getting married and having his own family. But I still don't really remember anything." I look at Nicole and sigh. "Though I've heard that he was a brilliant agent and also a great father to me. He died on a mission when I graduated, inspiring me to strive to fill his shoes." I say and look down at Nicole's hand that's still resting on my leg. I smile and look back into her eyes, and then I suddenly remember something.

"Wait...I have something to show you. I got these..." I reach for something in my back pocket and then move closer to her. Our arms brush against each other and I feel like every cell in my body coming to life as I show her two pictures, holding them in my hands. One is the picture of my old self with my teammates at the agency, which might have been taken before going on a mission, I guess. And the other one is with Colby and Christopher while I was undercover in their gang.

"Colby gave me this one when I was at the hospital," I say, pointing to the other one. "He said Richard never let anyone speak about Leo or show anything related to him that would remind me anything about that accident. He reasoned that knowing about my friend's death would traumatize me more." I chuckle dryly and look at Nicole. "That was his shitty plan to not let me ever discover about myself."

Nicole takes those pictures in her hand and studies them. "You look so different." She whispers and then turns to look at me. "I mean different from Christopher too."

I know what she means and I smile. "Replicating a face isn't something that can yet be achieved. But I am still gonna give credits to that surgeon for leaving me nicely somewhere in between." I laugh, making Nicole smile at me. I watch her as she turns back and stares at the pictures for a long time and I wish if I could just read what's going on in her mind. She then turns towards me again and this time, I see her eyes gleam as she places her hand over my cheek. I slowly relax and lean into her touch as she traces her fingers over my jaw. I know what I am doing. I am letting her see the scars and imperfections of my face, which I have been trying to hide behind my beard all this time. Her touch seems to heal all my aches, insecurities, and miseries that have been bottling up in my heart for a long time.

I am letting her see the real me this time.

She leans forward and looks into my eyes. "I am sure you know that you are probably hotter than both of them."

I smile amusedly at her comment. I know she is referring to me and Christopher in the picture, but the fact that she is terming me as a completely different person now brings a smile to my face. "Thank you. I needed that." I say and she smiles.

I keep looking at her beautiful face and then frown when her smile suddenly fades away. She looks down, biting her lip nervously. I place my thumb under her chin and then tilt her head to look up at me and raise an eyebrow. "You had to go through all this and never once I tried to put myself in your shoes and think what it would have felt like. I am sorry for never acknowledging you for who you really were, Leo." She hesitates, searching through my eyes. "I am sorry for forcing you to be someone you never wanted to."

I shake my head and say. "It's just Chris. Not Christopher or Leo. And you never forced me to be like anyone, Nicole." I brush my fingers against her cheek and she gazes at me with her blue eyes. "I never cared if I was Leo or Christopher in the moments I spent with you because...I just felt like I was being myself when I was with you. You let me see who I really was when I was with you, Nicole, and I am thankful to you for it." My eyes roam over her beautiful face for a minute before I look into her eyes again. "I never really got a chance to say this before, but I want to thank you for saving my life, Cole."

I look away and take a deep breath and then turn back to her. "I don't want to become something or someone to prove any fucking point to anyone. I just want to become someone who is worthy of your love." I say, looking straight into her eyes so she could know how much I mean every single word of it.

"As far as keeping the name Chris is concerned, I just want to have a part of Christopher alive in me and, at the same time, not lose my own identity too." I shrug and smile. "You know, I've come to know that my father's house was donated to an orphanage. I was happy to hear that. I never wanted to have any claim over his things. But I guess his last name could just do enough. It's going to be Chris Hill for me. What do you think?" I ask, looking at Nicole.

"I like the sound of it." She places her hand over mine and smiles.