Our hotel is across the street from the hospital. It's not nasty, not amazing, it's squarely in the pleasantly mediocre range. It's one of those places that's considered decent by most standards: clean rooms, a tasteful brown-and-sky-blue decor, big, comfy beds, a shitload of pillows. I'm used to high end lodgings, but won't complain this weekend about the mediocrity.

And yet despite its stab at an upscale atmosphere, there are reminders everywhere that most of the people are here because of one reason: someone they know is in the mammoth hospital across the street.

The minute we walk in, we see a young man consoling an older woman. She's sitting in the lounge, crying. In the elevator, a man and woman exchange worried looks, and the woman worries her bottom lip as her husband says, "Dear, I think we'll need to move to extended stay hotel if Tommy's going to be in for much longer." In our the room, I flip quickly through a binder.

Instead of a boasting of all of the region's attractions in a little book on the nightstand, there are suggestions for florists, medical supply shops and grief counselors.

I slam the binder shut and stuff it in a drawer. Juliette doesn't need any more reminders that her brother is sick, possibly gravely so.

"Okay, I'm headed over." Her voice trembles and she takes a big breath. I know she's acting calm and collected, but her beautiful green eyes have lost a bit of their sparkle. It's killing me to see her this upset.

"You're sure you don't want us to go with you?" Zoe's in a chair, and is annoying me more by the minute. She has her own room, but as soon as she'd unpacked, she barged into ours. She's made things more stressful by insisting on coming. Juliette should be only worried about her brother and not have to think about potential fireworks between a sick and angry Ash and a volatile, needy Zoe.

Juliette shakes her head and reaches for the hotel pen and pad of paper. "I'll let you know when, or if, you can come over. Here's his room number."

She makes for the door and I follow her until she's in the hall. I let the door snick shut and I put my arms around her. "My brave angel," I whisper in her ear. "It's going to be okay."

I hold her for a minute, inhaling her sweet scent, working my nose into her hair. I'd give anything to take away her anxiety.

After giving me a final squeeze, she wriggles out of my arms, then glances at me with watery eyes. "I love you," she murmurs. "Thank you for coming with me all the way up here. Even if it means your sister's here, too. I'm not sure I could handle this without you being close by."

Juliette's been thanking me for hours. I kiss her mouth softly. "I love you too. You don't have to handle anything alone, ever again. Go see Ash and your mom, and call me when you can. I'm just across the street if you need me. I can be there in five minutes."

She swallows and nods. I've never seen her look this miserable. My heart aches for her as I watch her walk down the hall. Turning back to the room, I groan when I realize I left the key inside and I pound on the door with the heel of my hand.

"Zoe," I say in a loud voice.

The door flings open. Zoe's got red-rimmed eyes. She's upset, too. This trip is going to be a doozy, I can tell.

I slip past my sister and fall on the bed. It was a long, tiring drive and I shut my eyes. I have shit to do, things to think about. That trip to Amsterdam is first and center on the to-do list. Fuck, I need to get off my ass and tell Juliette about the trip. I haven't decided if I'll say anything about bringing product; Zoe, Matthew and I decided we would risk it. We've been debating ways to hide it in our carry-on luggage so it won't be detected at the airports.

No, I can't tell Juliette about that. I have to say something about the trip, since it's only eight days away. I've been putting it off, not wanting to upset her.

And now this. Ash. Possibly dying.

Will I get the chance to make things right with him?

"Did you ever think about Ash getting sick again when we were younger?"

"Jesus. Can't you let me sleep? And, no." I reach for one of the many pillows on the bed and pull it over my eyes.

"Ash and I used to talk about it a lot. What would happen if he got sick again. If he died. If he died before me."

Christ. She's in a morbid mood and she's not going to let me sleep. I toss the pillow off my face. "Can you stop? Please? We don't even know how he is yet. And I don't want you talking like that around Juliette. She's crazy upset right now."

"Ash used to love me like you love Juliette," Zoe says softly, and I roll over, hoping to tune my sister out. I drift off, thinking about how much time Ash and I used to spend together, and how he'd worried that I'd be pissed when he hooked up with Zoe.

How he came to me one day before school, and told me all serious-like, that he was in love with her.

That he'd never hurt her.

I wake to silence. Too silent. Opening one eye, then the other, I scan the room, momentarily forgetting where I am and why I'm here.

Ah, shit. Ashton. My first best friend.

Juliette.

Where the hell's Zoe? I sit up. She must've gone back to her room. Fuck, how long was I out? The blinds are still open and it's dark.

Where's Juliette?

I scratch my head as I reach for my phone on the nightstand. Jesus, it's seven-thirty at night. I've been out for three hours. Shit.

Juliette hasn't called or texted. I don't like that at all. I call her number and get voicemail. Then I send her a text. She always texts me back within minutes.

Take a piss, rinse my mouth out with some mouthwash, check my phone...and Juliette hasn't responded. Worry slices through me. What if Ash has gotten really bad news and she's fallen apart? It's not like her mother would call to tell me.

I'm hoping Juliette can somehow smooth things over with Ash while he's here. If he's truly sick, I want them to be on good terms.

Hell, I want to be on good terms with him. Since we left Miami, I've been silently hoping I'll somehow get a few minutes alone with him. Maybe now isn't the time to tell him how much I love his sister. How I'll take care of her.

Or maybe it is the best time, if he's taking a turn for the worse. It's a grim fucking thought, and I push it away. I need to find Juliette and ask her what's going on.

I'll see if she's called Zoe. As I'm walking out, I notice the pad that Juliette had written Ash's room number on is missing. Strange.

Grabbing the room key, I head to Zoe's room, which is two doors down. I knock. No answer. Roll my eyes and knock again.

"Zoe, open up."

No answer.

And then my stomach drops. The pad of paper with Ash's room number...

Zoe went to the hospital.

I'd bet my life on it.

It only takes me a few minutes to get out of the hotel and across the street, but once I'm inside, I have no fucking clue where to go. I stop at the information desk.

"Hi, I'm looking for the room of Ashton Phillips," I say to the elderly, red-haired woman behind the desk. She efficiently taps on a computer with coral-tipped fingers.

"Philips. Phillips. Oh, yes. Right here. Room 402." She has to draw instructions on a map, the place is so goddamned big.

I fly down the hall, into the elevator and have to refer to the map twice. The whole place smells like bleach and piss and I'm trying hard not to think of what my mom's final hours in a hospital in Venezuela were probably like. Not as nice as this, I'm sure. I hate all this, probably because it makes me think of her death, and how I never got a chance to say goodbye.

Finally I find the corridor where Ash's room is. I'm at room 450 — somehow I ended up on the opposite side of the wing — and I'm barreling down the hall when I see my sister at the far end of the corridor.

She doesn't notice me, but I nearly crash into a nurse's cart because my blood is boiling and I'm only paying attention to dragging my sister out of here.

"Sorry." The nurse shoots me a dirty look.

I think about calling to my sister, but there are a few people in the hallway, patients hooked up to IVs and lying on stretchers. I can't start hollering at Zoe to stop whatever the fuck it is she's doing — I'd probably be escorted out in a nanosecond.

A thousand swear words go through my mind. I'd explicitly told her not to stress Juliette out, not to cause a scene with Ash, and not make this already difficult trip worse.

Fail, fail, fail.

"Coming through," a voice from behind says, and I jump aside so an orderly pushing a bed doesn't sideswipe me.

Then I watch with horror as Zoe opens a door, and steps inside.

"Griffin?"

I whirl around. It's Juliette, holding a paper bag with twine handles.

"What are you doing here?" she whispers as she lifts herself on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. "Why do you look angry? What happened?"

Taking her by the arm, I steer her through a door that's marked "Quiet Room — For Families Only." She's staring at me like I've gone nuts, and I shut the door.

"Did something happen? I went to the cafeteria to get lunch and Ash wanted a Gatorade. Mom went home to finally sleep and I thought I left him alone for fifteen minutes." Her voice raises into a worried pitch.

I take the bag from her hand and set it on a round table. Running my hands up and down her bare arms, I take a breath.

"Zoe just went into your brother's room."

Juliette's hand flies to her chest. "What? How do you know?"

"I saw her. Right before you called to me in the hallway."

Her breath hitches, then she laughs incredulously, a gasping, huffing sound. "Oh God."

I lean against the table and grip the edge with my hands. "I fell asleep in the hotel for a little while, and when I woke up Zoe was gone. I figured out where she was because the pad of paper you wrote Ash's room number on was missing. I tried calling, but you didn't answer."

"I'm sorry. I was talking to Ash and we were in a pretty deep conversation. I was going to call you after I brought him the Gatorade. I needed a few minutes by myself, though. This is really hard." Her eyes brim with tears and I kiss her forehead.

"I'm sorry, angel. How is he, anyway?" Even asking that makes my stomach hurt. I know he doesn't think I'm good for his sister, but I can't erase all those years we were friends.

Juliette steps back, her shoulders rounding. "The doctors need to do more tests, but it looks like he might need chemo. Apparently this happens to some people who survive that kind of childhood cancer."

I tip my head back and sigh. "And now Zoe's in there, doing God knows what. I don't even want to think about it. they haven't seen each other for years."

Juliette lets out a groan and flops into a maroon upholstered chair. "No offense, but your sister's a little cray-cray."

"I'm not gonna argue with that. Blanket apology for everything she does from here on. She shouldn't have come with us."

"It's fine. I'm so tired I can't get angry." She rubs those pretty green eyes of hers. "Ash asked about you. And about her."

"What did he say? Does he still want to kick my ass?"

Juliette shakes her head. "He asked if you were treating me okay. Of course I said yes." her face lights up into a smile and that makes me grin. "He asked if you were still selling, ah, doing whatever it is that you do. I told him that we don't talk about your business."

"Could be worse, I guess."

"I told him you drove me here. He said he wants to talk with you before we leave."

"Thank Christ," I whisper. My chest suddenly feels a little lighter.

"Then when he heard Zoe was here too, he got real quiet. I asked if he wanted to see her, too, and he said he'd think about it."

"Apparently Zoe did the thinking for both of them."

Juliette snorts and stands up. "We should find out what's going on in there."

I run my hands through my hair. "The fact that we haven't seen the cops or nurses flying down the hall in a code red is a good sign, I think."

I grab the bag of snacks and we walk out, glancing up and down the hallway. Everything seems frighteningly placid. Given Zoe's brash temperament and Ash's stubbornness, I'm surprised that the entire floor isn't vibrating with some kind of cosmic conflict.

Juliette shoots me a worried glance as we approach the door. "Let's peek in through the window first, okay? Maybe she's already gone."

"Good idea."

She holds onto my forearm as we tiptoe the last few feet to the door. Leaning to the window at the same time, we peer in.

Juliette gasps and squeezes my arm with a death grip.

"Holy shit," I say in a too-loud voice.

My sister is in Ashton's bed, curled around his body and hugging him for dear life.

____