《AMOUR》Chapter 20.
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If Roya thinks she fooled everyone into believing that she was crying because she misses her family, then she's wrong. Something isn't right. She was so happy a couple minutes ago and after the phone call she sure looks alright but it doesn't feel right.
I need to talk to Dave. He was there, he must know what this is about. Before my eyes land on Dave, they find Jordan's. He's looking at me like he knows what's going on in my mind. He shakes his head in a slight no, his eyes screaming 'don't force it' and I couldn't help but nod, sighing. Roya will tell us when she wants to, when she's ready.
Roya asks everyone to stay the night here and have a sleepover in the living room which everyone agreed to. These people are leaving tomorrow morning and even though I just want her to lay in between Jordan and I while we kiss her senseless, I think she needs us all to just be there.
I take one couch and Dave takes the others. We moved the coffee table out of the way and the girls get the center while the guys divided themselves on both sides. There's not enough blankets for everyone but we manage somehow.
An hour into the night, probably around 2:00 am, I sense movement and see Dave getting up. He maybe wants water, but then I see him going out onto the balcony and I just had to follow him.
I try to make as little noise as possible while stepping out but I know that Dave knows it's me. It's so dark outside but the lights of the various apartment buildings help illuminate everything.
I join Dave on his left. Both of us standing with our arms crossed, looking at nothing in particular. I know he wants alone time, but I want to know anything he has to say.
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"You know," he says after a few minutes, "remember how I told you once that Roya's always happy?" He asks, still looking forward.
"Yeah," I rasp.
"She's so good at faking it," he scoffs like he cannot believe it himself.
"She could be breaking inside but you won't even see it in her eyes," he continues. I stay silent, letting him speak whatever he wants to.
"You know we've never really dealt with pain," he says, thinking.
"Sure there were heartbreaks, little problems and stuff but not the kind of pain that changes you. There's a pain that temporarily makes you forget what happiness is and then there's a pain that drowns you," he sighs, placing his hands on the railing, "And it's not that everyone needs to deal with a certain level of pain to say that it changed them. No. If something matters to someone and is taken away from them, there's pain in that. A lot of pain."
"She-" he tries, "she's drowning," he finishes, patting my shoulder and turning around to go back in.
"I don't know what you are to her or what she is to you and what's Jordan's position but I know you both care for her and I know she cares for both of you too. Hell even Ian and I care for her and she adores us as well. There's beauty in that. Beauty in giving her all to others and expecting nothing. Beauty in being there for others but suffering alone," he says and slides the door, going back in.
I stay outside. Thinking about what Dave said.
She's drowning.
What is she to me?
What am I to her?
And Jordan.
I realize I don't care about where we stand. All I want is for her to be okay.
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I head inside and see that Roya isn't in the middle anymore. I look up and see her in the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water.
I don't even think twice before going up behind her and wrapping my arms around her from behind.
"Hey," she says, softly.
"Hey," I replied in the same tone.
"You want water?" She asks, lifting the glass to her lips, her back still to me.
"No," I shake my head, burying it in her neck, trying to inhale her scent as much as I can.
She sighs, placing the glass back and wrapping her arms over mine tighter than usual.
She needs this.
My hold tightens on her and I sink further into her if it was even possible.
"You okay?" I mumble, softly. I don't know if she even understood it.
She sighs and thinks about it. I don't need an answer now because her pause tells me everything but she still tells me.
"No," she whispers, and I'm about to speak but she cuts me off, "but I will be," and I don't say anything.
I lifted my head and was about to move but she held my wrist, making me pause.
"Stay," she says, her voice pained, "just a minute more?" She asks.
I kiss her hair and snuggle her again.
"However long you want babe," I say, my tone soft and sincere, "however long you want."
-
In the morning, Dave, Ian and I head to the University for practice after saying our goodbyes to the group. Jordan and Anna will drop them at the airport since Roya has work today but they'll leave around the same time.
They were all pretty cool. I could see some similarities with our own group and we mix well together. What was surprising was that Ryder asked for Sasha's number. Yeah, but he then told me it wasn't for him. Well we'll eventually get to know who it was for.
Practice went by and Dave and I headed home to shower while Ian showered at the University since he was called in the Library for an emergency shift.
I had just stepped into the house when I received a notification. I waved it off thinking I don't really get texts from people and headed for a shower.
Once I come out and get dressed, I check my phone and curse under my breath.
Apartment. Now.
Well those were the maximum words I expected from him in text.
I pick up my car keys and head out.
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