Jerry's POV

If I turned in my texts from the last hour to the police, I would have a perfectly reasonable court case for a restraining order.

Mistake: hey so just so you know you're still getting a C on your piss poor writing assignment

Mistake: what, playing hard to get?

Mistake: how do you think you can get A's when you start assignments with sentences like "I like anal. Did that catch the reader's attention well enough, Adam?"

Mistake: rude ass

There was even a missed call. I waited until I was in my car to call him back, because the last thing I wanted was Sir Master Robert busting my balls over whoever was harassing me.

"Jeremy?" Adam drawled over the line. "Why are you contacting me?"

This guy.

"I hate you and want you dead," I told him. "You're the antichrist. Or Scar. Or, like, Thanos. Or any human that interferes negatively with the Air Buddies. I hate you."

"That was a lot of jumbled and random movies references. Except the antichrist thing. That's just dramatic."

"...Air Buddies is not random."

We were left in uncomfortable silence.

Adam cleared his throat. "So. Why did you actually call me?"

"To tell you to stop texting me like I'm your wife who forgot the kids in the McDonald's playpen. Also, what happened yesterday was a mistake. I never should've fucked you, I never should've given you my phone number, and I regret it."

"I obviously regret it too," Adam said snippily.

"Mainly because you're ugly," I continued. Adam sputtered. "No, seriously, you are. Your nose looks like you're Pinocchio and you walk around saying that Elon Musk is sexy. Your body is reminiscent of a garden gnome that mauled a cookie jar for two years straight. Looking into your eyes for more than three seconds makes a cold sweat form on my back."

"...Are you done?"

"HOW WAS THAT DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGE FOR YOU, ADAM?"

"...You've been holding that in for a while."

I hung up.

I called back two seconds later because I was still mad. He picked up and I didn't even let him talk.

"You're like a low-class whore in a rich city. Always present, always desperate, and your presence is detested by the vast majority of people."

Adam sighed. "Are you trying to prove to me that you deserve better grades by using a number of creative insults? Jerry, you don't deserve good grades. The writing assignment where you were supposed to argue that the American court system takes language-based discrimination cases too lightly, and uses it as a way to keep immigrants from climbing the social ladder? You ended it with, and I quote, 'hashtag white people be trippin'. That was your concluding sentence, Jeremy."

"I see no flaw in that logic."

"Jeremy!"

"I also regret it because you are an adulterous whore," I decided. "My best friend is dating the man who's heart you broke. It is very rude to both of them that I slept with you."

"...That's obviously the case," Adam gritted out. "I understand that."

"You also had a recent psychotic break in which you thought blackmail would be a suitable way to woo a man," I pointed out. "Which ended not so much in your favor."

"I was mostly doing a favor for my friend John—" Adam interrupted.

"I don't recognize that name," I continued. "I also don't care about whoever that is. Oh did I mention that you're my professor and you're like a million years old?"

"Can I please stop you for a minute?" Adam growled. "I actually am not interested in you, so you don't need to be going through this rant. You're not my type."

I blinked. "But you literally made out with me and then decided—"

"Sorry, I'm just not interested. You're too young for me. And blonde."

And then he hung up on me and I was left blinking. Who the hell did this guy think he was?

...I was a light-haired brunette. Dirty blonde, if you will.

I got back to my sad empty dorm room, because Finn was off being mushy and in love and I was happy for him, but also I hated that I was left alone in a sad and empty dorm room. I needed social interaction. Like, constantly.

I texted my friend group and thankfully they were all thirsty attention whores like myself. They were banging on my door in a matter of minutes.

"Hey curly," Viv chirped. "How you—"

"Okay, so I need to tell everyone in his room my darkest secret and we must keep it from Finn," I demanded.

The three of them shut up. Benny raised his hand. "Why?"

"Because it's about Aidan!"

"...Is he single now?"

"Shut up Benny, you thirsty whore," I growled. "No. No, I fucked up and did a bad thing. Finn wouldn't care. But Aidan probably would, and if Finn knows he'll tell Aidan, and if Aidan knows that means Robert knows—"

"Who's Robert?" Brianna asked.

"Irrelevant!"

"Why do you care if he knows?"

"Irrelevant!" I repeated for emphasis. "I thought with my dick first, guys. I fucked Adam Lincoln."

"The douchebag?!"

"The ugly one that looks like Big Bird?!"

"Our professor?!"

"Yes," I admitted gravely. "It happened yesterday and I can't keep this secret to myself any longer. I was yelling at him, he was yelling at me, then he kissed me and our passions led to the rest of it."

"Jerry," Brianna said sternly. "That does not happen in real life."

"It did in mine!"

"No, I'm just saying, like, you don't just lose yourself to passion! You chose to have sex with our douchebag bird-like professor! What is wrong with you?"

"He's having a midlife crisis," Benny decided. "He thinks banging professors is hip now that Finn did it and he's copying. Give him another day and he'll turn vegan."

"I would never."

"He's always had the hots for Adam," Viv said. "I've been thinking about this for a while... He would always moan about Aidan in class, and I used to think to myself, dang, Jerry's a freak. I still think that by the way. But I also started to think... hmm, maybe he wants Adam to want the attention instead."

"We have a big thinker over here," I grumbled.

"I see it." Brianna collapsed onto my bed. "Okay, we need to get to the bottom of this. Why did Adam fuck Jerry?"

Ben sat on the floor. Vivian sat on Finn's bed. Apparently we were having some sort of meeting now.

"Jerry is attractive," Ben noted, which made my little heart swoon. "But still. Adam was definitely making a calculated choice. Remember, he's an asshole who blackmailed Aidan and also cheated on him."

"Finn overshares," I realized.

"I like the drama."

This was going nowhere. "Why don't I just call him?" I asked. "Get to the bottom of things. Figure out what the hell is going on."

Viv shrieked. "You have his phone number?!"

"First off, it's on our syllabus—"

"Fine, do it," Brianna said, snatching my phone off of the bed. She snorted when she looked at the screen. "Dude, who's Master Dominant Sir Yes Sir? He's texted you a bazillion times."

I grimaced. They fixed their eyes on me with gazes that were thirsty for dramatic details. "That's Robert."

"Explain!"

"It all started when I dragged Finn to a freaky BDSM club..."

I had a ball of a time explaining to my friends how Robert owned a kink club, was also Aidan's friend, oh yes and also good to mention that Aidan is a dominant at a local BDSM club, oops don't tell Finn I said that, and how Robert helped with the whole weird Adam/Jim situation, and how Robert had the hots for me.

"Dude, fuck the sexy older guy," Ben said.

"Yeah, Adam gets the boot from me. Sexy older guy laid down the law against Adam's weirdness, and is a business owner? Hot," said Viv, a literal lesbian.

I liked that Adam and Robert technically were both older guys, but it was a common knowledge that Robert was probably sexier, even though they had never even seen him.

"C'mon guys!" Brianna sighed. "I don't like Adam, but don't be so mean. He's obviously lonely."

We all sort of waited for her to finish her sentence, but she literally could not come up with one more supporting detail in favor of Team Adam.

"It doesn't matter," I growled. "Adam was a mistake and is a freak of nature. Robert? He's weird. I don't know. Hot, sure. But rude. And like...I don't know, he likes tacky shark movies? Major cringe."

Viv reached over and gave my thigh a comforting pat. "You could also find a normal college student who's your age."

Sure, Jan.

I scratched my head. "Yeah, oookay. Now...do you guys mind actually leaving so I can figure out with this loser wants?"

Apparently most of my life would be spent calling older guys that wanted to fuck me.