Jerry's POV

"Why are you manhandling me?" I shrieked, thrashing my arm around. "This is cruel and unusual punishment, and it's against the Constitution of the United States of America!"

"Shut up," Aidan grumbled, tugging me along.

"I have a class to go to!" I cried.

"Don't care. I'm a professor. You think I don't realize how often kids skip class? Now quiet, people are giving us looks."

For whatever reason, I was being bullied. I hadn't heard anything from Finn since yesterday, but that was typical. He was in happy-love-land with his new boo.

What wasn't typical was my chemistry professor tugging me through a hallway to get to his office.

"My dude," I began, voice level and mature. "This is silly. I can walk on my own. Also, you're lucky I was in a class in this building, or else what was your plan? To drag me through the streets to get here?"

"Yup."

"Bruh!"

We finally got to his office, to the gratitude of my poor wrist, and Aidan opened the door to Finn and Robert. Robert was leaning up against the wall, looking all moody and sexy-like. Finn was sitting on the dog bed with Jack and Oliver, but somehow looking equally judgmental.

I pointed at Oliver. He was a chocolate lab mix who had ten brain cells maximum. "You brought both dogs today?"

"Technically I'm off the clock." Aidan directed me to the spinny chair. I sat. "This is an intervention."

I glared deep, deep, into the murky bottom of Robert's entire soul. "What did you say to them?"

He threw his hands in the air. "They didn't find out anything from me! ...Which I'm in trouble for, by the way. So be grateful."

Finn shushed Master Robert, and I was left struck dumb. I never thought I'd see the day when Finn treated him like a normal human and not a deity.

"We all agreed that I would do most of the talking," Finn said.

Finn stared deep, deep into the murky bottom of my soul.

I broke immediately.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, covering my face. "I don't know why I did it! I wish I could say it was coercion; it wasn't. I did it of my own free will and got nothing in return."

Finn shook his head. "Jerry. We've gathered here today because you spend way too much money on pansexual-themed t-shirts."

I blinked. "...Oh. That's what this is about?"

"No, dipshit, why in the hell did you have sex with Adam Lincoln?!" Finn exploded.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm so sorry—"

"Okay, okay." Aidan ruffled Finn's hair. "I think he might've gone a little overboard with that one. Geez, this is an intervention, not an interrogation."

Finn glared at him. "I'm very distraught."

"Shit, I can tell."

Finn pointed at me and glared. "This is the first time that I know of that, in a year and three months of friendship, that you've hidden something from me!"

Oh.

Well now I felt worse.

Not only did I have sex with Aidan's ex-husband, I lied by omission to my best friend! ...And he didn't even know that I told literally everybody except him.

My stomach flooded with guilt and I had trouble meeting Finn's eyes.

Robert could definitely tell that something was wrong, because he appeared at my side to pat my shoulder. "I don't really know why our sweet flower is so upset, but—"

"Because. My feelings are hurt," Finn said, sounding more grumpy than betrayed. "I told you when I was sleeping with my sleazy older professor!"

"Hey—!"

I groaned. "I know and I wanted to tell you, I really did!" I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to figure out why I didn't tell them. "I just...I felt like it would hurt Aidan's feelings."

Aidan's nose wrinkled. "What makes you think I have feelings?"

"The way you look at your dog, obviously," I scoffed.

Finn snickered and it was good to see his smile. I was grateful that Aidan gave me a moment to make a joke and take a breath.

Aidan snorted. "I don't care. Adam and I got divorced over a decade ago. Why would I care? If anything, we can bond over how weird his moans are."

"They were weird! I noticed that—"

"Okay, okay," Robert interrupted, looking a little annoyed. "No need to go into detail about the event. I think we can all live happily without that."

"Alright, sorry for getting testy," Finn sighed. "We're obviously not the same exact person! You're allowed to have your own personal life and your own business and stuff. It might totally ruin my day to have to accept that, but..."

He smiled at me, looking kind of cute and guilty. Finn never stayed mad for too long. I got up to give him a big hug. Finn was a huggy type of person, so he clung onto me

"I'm still sorry, Finny! I should've told you."

Our hug went on for so long that I started to worry that Robert was going to die of old age watching us.

When we pulled apart, Robert was smiling. "That was a very touching moment. I've noticed throughout my life that the bond between fellow submissives tend to be stronger than..."

He definitely finished his sentence, but Finn and I were too busy exchanging a look to listen.

"Okay, Mr. BDSM Guru," I said. "Mister Lord and Master Dominant Sir. That's enough stereotyping me as a submissive just because I'm a twink, okay?"

His eyes twinkled. "I'm not stereotyping you as a submissive because of your body."

"Okay, well—"

"I stereotype you as a submissive because of the way you look at me."

Every singular skin cell on my entire face turned fire truck red. No, not fire truck red; that wasn't red enough. The red of molten lava. Or one of those creepy, poisonous-looking mushrooms.

"Sit down, Jerry," Aidan said, gesturing to the chair. "We haven't even begun yet. We really need to get to the bottom of why you would have sex with Adam of all people."

This was the worst. And in front of Robert? I kind of wanted to die.

But they all were looking at me like they expected an answer.

"I don't know!" I cried. "I just...well, he kissed me first. And the kiss was really hot, so I went with it. And then it was a weird mixture between thinking the whole experience was super hot and thinking that maybe it would benefit me...academically? As well?"

Aidan's concerned expression became deadpan. Robert did a full body shudder. Finn started dying laughing.

"What?!" I sputtered. I did a little spin so I could get a second without their eyes drilling into my skull. "It's not that crazy. Adam actually hates my writing! I didn't know what else to do! And the whole thing was super hot anyway, so it wasn't like it was a force—"

Robert's fists clenched. "You failed to tell me that it was good."

"I did!"

"No, you said it was fine. That's not the same as good."

"Tone down the jealousy," Aidan said, waving Robert off. "Listen. Here's the truth: Adam originally thought that it was you and me who were together."

I nodded, remembering my grand declarations about urination in class. "Yeah, I think I knew that. I mentioned us doing sex stuff a lot in class."

Aidan snorted. "He told me. But I think I remember that he came into my office one day a few months ago. He was screaming about me and you, and how I should be with him instead. ...And he definitely mentioned that your writing was fine, but he tore your papers apart anyway."

Rage flooded my entire body. "I knew my grades were better at the beginning of the year."

Aidan paused, then tilted his head a little. "You know," he added. "Maybe I should've mentioned that sooner."

"Jerry, are you okay? Your face is going red," Finn chirped, but I could barely hear him over the sound of my own heartbeat.

That. Asshole. He jeopardized my GPA, my pride and dignity, my confidence as a writer, and my ability to trust in the goodness of the American higher education system, because of a misunderstanding.

"Then...then why is he continuing to rip my papers apart?" I growled.

All three men were staring at me like I was going to murder them. "Uh—no clue," Aidan said, with the smallest amount of fear in his voice.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Violence doesn't solve anything!" Finn insisted. "Why don't we all talk about this instead? Maybe your papers do suck!"

I gritted my teeth and stared so hard at my own clenched fists that I was shocked I didn't burn a hole through them. "He gives me Fs. For perfectly competent essays. You give someone an F when they jerk off onto a piece of paper and hand it in! Or if they write the words 'I don't care' over the entire page! Or when they plagiarize it! Or if they keyboard smash repeatedly, with their feet! At least I attempted an essay. I met the page requirements, used good grammar, and answered the prompt! You can't give people F's for that!"

I whipped out my phone and dialed his number. Aidan, Finn, and Robert all ogled at me.

"Hello—"

"You need to stand up right now," I snapped.

"...Jerry?"

"Are you standing?"

"Um. Yes?"

"Great. Walk on over to the nearest lamp. Take off the lampshade. Do you see that lightbulb? Do you see the long stick that it's attached to? You need to pick it up, and use it to GO FUCK YOURSELF."

Silence.

"You did not just say that to me."

And that was all the encouragement I needed to go off.

"You know what, jackass?" I snapped. "You know what's illegal? Giving grades unfairly because of a personal bias. You've said to Aidan to his face that my papers aren't actually that bad. You said that you started giving me bad grades because you thought I was sleeping with him! Well guess what? I can so easily go right to the head of the Writing Department here on campus, and show them my papers. I'll show them all of the Cs and Ds and Fs that you've given me. And you know what they will do? They will read my papers and force you to change my grades to the ones I deserve. Oh, you know what else I could tell them? THAT YOU SLEPT WITH ME. Do you want that, you stupid piece of shit? You bird-looking piece of shit? Is that what you want? I know you told Aidan; he told me that you told him. Do you want me and Aidan to go to the Dean? Do you want Aidan to tell them that he found me crying profusely, totally disturbed at how easily I was taken advantage of by someone with more social power than I—"

"OKAY! OKAY. Jesus Christ. Do you ever stop talking?" Adam sputtered. "Fine, holy shit. I guess I deserved that, but Jesus. I'll reread your papers."

"And change my grades?"

"YES. God. Fine."

"To the As that I deserve?"

"To be fair, I recall specifically that you wrote a topic sentence that involved using the words 'anal sex', which is pretty graphic for academic writing."

"You know what else is pretty graphic for academics? Fucking your students."

"...Yeah, they can be As, whatever."

I took a deep breath and suddenly the world around me wasn't red anymore. "Great. Wow, great. Thank you. So you admit that you were fudging my grades?"

"What, are you recording or something? I'm not admitting that."

"I'm not recording," I snapped. "I just want to hear it for my own satisfaction. Why'd you do it?"

"Look, it's not my fault you never shut up about how much you wanted Aidan to bone you or pee on your face or what the hell ever."

"Got it. Hey Adam? Fuck you."

I hung up and looked at the three men next to me. They all subconsciously took steps backwards.

"Guess we didn't have to worry about intervention," Finn muttered.