Jennifer would never stay the night, it was our unspoken rule. We took a shower together before she left, and I checked my phone again. There were now more missed calls and texts from Lea.

What the hell.

I just read the last four messages but I guessed the others were more or less the same. It is past 11pm now and her last text was from half an our ago. I decide not to listen to her voice message and dial her number instead and she immediately picks up.

« Finally ! » she is shouting so loud I need to remove the phone from my ear.

« What's going on ? »

« It's Juliette, she's in the hospital. »

« How bad is it ? »

« We don't know yet. We were at practice tonight and .... it was my fault." I hear her breaking down. "She told me she was too tired to play but I told her to get her ass off the bleachers and added her to the line up. I shouldn't have forced her to play."

"Lea, stop babbling, tell me what happened."

"I'm not sure, it went all so fast. She was running to catch a fly and a player ran into her. She banged her head on the floor and next thing I know the other player was on top of her legs and she was unconcious. When she came to, we tried to help her stand but she screamed at he top of her lungs and just collapsed back on the floor. I think she broke her leg. We called an ambulance... i'm waiting to get the x-ray results from her head and leg."

"Well, thanks for telling me, I guess. I hope she'll get better soon."

"Wait. I didn't call you to let you know... I need a favour."

"You remember she broke up with me right? I'm sure she wouldn't want anything from me."

"You're so wrong..."

"What do you mean?"

"Listen, I can't talk long. Phones are not allowed in the waiting area and people are giving me death stares."

I hear a muffled sound, I'm sure Lea is cursing them all and telling them to go to hell.

"Listen, Can you get Lily?"

"Me? Why, no. I'm sure you can find someone else."

« I scrolled through my contact list and considered calling her grandparents. But if Juliette knows Lily is staying with them she won't be pleased when she wakes up. Lily needs a friendly face, someone she likes and she misses you. Besides, I've already told Juliette's old neighbour you would come for Lily. She's seen you with Juliette so she won't think you're a kidnapper. » she laughs at her own joke. « She has a spare key to Juliette's flat. You'll get everything you need there."

"You have everything planned I see."

"I'll text you everything you need to know, about her day care centre, her schedule..."

"You do realize I know nothing about kids and that I'm probably the least person for the job?"

"You'd better not mess this up. I'm trusting you."

"Does Juliete know?"

"Of course she doesn't! I'm not even sure it's the best idea I've had in years....but we'll know soon enough. Ok, got to go. Thanks Amelia."

"Sure."

"Oh, one more thing...make sure to feed Lily at least three times a day." Then she hangs up.

That girl...How can she even make jokes in a hospital...

Of all nights this had to happen tonight...I feel a bit numb after the phone call and need to think this through. I slowly breath in and out to calm my nerves and decide to act with method, which is the only way I know. I call my chauffeur, waking him up but I don't care right now, and I pack a change of clothes and what I need for the night. I give him the address to Juliette's flat and receive some more texts from Lea during the drive.

She added the details about the day care centre Lily attends, the address, phone number and schedule. Tomorrow is Friday, she needs to be there by 8 am.

When I arrive at Juliette's building, Mrs Cunningham, the old neighbour is not surprised to see me, Lea had warned her. Lily is excited to see me but extremely tired as the old lady just woke her up. She was sleeping on the couch as the lady has no spare room and she apologizes, otherwise she would have taken care or Lily.

I carry the little girl into my arms and enter her flat. I tuck her in bed and decide to settle on the couch, I don't think sleeping in Juliette's bedroom would be appropriate. I set the alarm clock on my phone for 6am, not certain how much time it will take me to get Lily ready.

I immediately fall alseep, but wake up way too early, anxious I would miss the alarm clock, and I was having nightmares about Juliette. When I saw the first texts from Lea telling me there had been an accident, I thought I'd never be able to see her again. But thankfully she'll be alright. I was also nervous about taking care of Lily, about her reaction when she would see her mother was not there in the morning.

Finally, I get fed up pacing Juliette's flat and decide to have a shower and get dressed, before waking the little blonde up.

She doesn't rememer I came to get her earlier and despite Lea's warning, I decide to explain to her some of the truth about why her mother is not here, not disclosing the hospital part, and she starts crying.

I have not had any training in « how to break unpleasant news to a 4-year old » and though I try to be as gentle as I can, somehow I fuck up. To change the subject, I suggest we grab breakfast on our way to day care and I see a smile appearing on her lips.

I tell her to get dressed while I drink my first mug of coffee of the day but five minutes later, Lily has not reappeared and I peek into her bedroom. She is in her panties and bouncing on her bed.

I look at my watch and slap my face in frustration, we are going to be so late.

"Why aren't you dressed?" I ask her as calmy as I can.

"You haven't chosen my clothes for me."

I take a pair of jeans and socks, a long-sleeved tshirt and a pullover, and display all the clothes on the bed.

"Here you are. Come on hurry we are going to be late."

"I can't put my socks on." I help her and sigh in relief as we are finally done, but then she grabs the bairbrush on her nightstand and hands it to me.

"Can you do my hair?"

"Hum, sure." she turns around for me to start brushing her hair and asks:

"Can you do the same hairdo as Princess Anna?

"Who's that?"

"The Princess from Frozen!"

"Oh, No, I don't know what it looks like."

"Look it up on youtube!"

"Sweetheart, we really need to hurry, can I just do a ponytail?"

She nods but starts getting restless and I can't get this ponytail symmetrical. I need four attempts and decide the last one can't be worse than the others. And now we are really late. How does Juliette do it, every morning? I'm sweaty and angry at myself for not having anticipated more, and we haven't even had breakfast yet!

...........................

Finally, I droped Lily an hour later at day care, apoligizing profusely, and I rush for my first business meeting. I hear Nathalie running behind me asking why I haven't answered my phone and why I'm half an hour late, but I don't take a second to answer her. Instead I ask her to clear my schedule for the morning - for the day after second thought, and to get me a large mug of black coffee.

My meeting is quick, thank god, I'm already exhausted and my day has not even started yet. I take my mug to my office and slam the door, telling my personal assistant I don't want to be disturbed. I sit at my desk, my hand on my forehead, and I sigh deeply. I take my phone out and notice a missed call from Lea. I phone her back immediately.

"Hey, how was your night with the little pumpkin?"

"Fine. But I told her about her mother."

"Amelia! She didn't need that! She's probably thinking she's going to die now! Kids are quick to jump to conclusion!"

"I just told her she fell and that she'll see her soon. I didn't tell her about the ambulance or the hospital. I'm not that dumb. How is she?"

"She just came out of the operating room. The doctors placed pins to maintain her broken bone into place. She'll need a cast for two months at least. They want her to spend the night at the hospital again tonight cause of her concussion but she'll be released on Saturday. Will you be ok with Lily?"

"I'll manage."

I sigh in relief as we hang up, knowing the operation went well and that Lily will have her mother again tomorow. But something is bothering me...with the cast and heavy medication Juliette won't be in a fit state to take care of a four-year old. I need to step in, I know I have to, that it's my chance to make amends and to make her forgive me. Lea's cryptic words keep playing in my head. What was I so wrong about? But I'm so scared to do that leap of faith. I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm overthinking and there is only one way for me to calm down. I grab a piece of paper and a pen.

I look at my list, realizing my hands stoppped shaking from anxiety and I stand up, ready for action. If I'm going to take care of them, better do it from my place. I have an extra room for Lily, Juliette can stay in mine while I'll be sleeping in the couch in my home office. It's settled and I text Lea to let her know as I get in my car and tell my chauffeur where we're going.

............................

I cross the last item on my list and check the time: 5pm. I have to get Lily. She is very happy to see I am picking her up and quite impressed when my chauffeur opens the car door for her. I ask her how her day went, and tell her she's going to sleep at my house. She gets excited about this surprise sleepover.

She loves my penthouse and settles immediately in front of the huge windows to admire the view over Central Park. I admit it is quite stunning and the reson why I bought it in the first place. I show her the spare bedroom I had stuffed with some of her belongings and she seems pleased but a bit stressed out to be sleeping in a huge bed on her own for the first time.

She starts yawning and I show her the bathroom. She gasps when she sees my huge balneo bathtub and I let her turn on some of the massage jets and coloured lights. I leave her alone in shallow water while I quickly fix dinner. Pasta. I really can't cook so earlier I bought all sorts of pasta with differents tomato sauces. I have a huge kitchen with all the modern appliances but never use it. Instead I eat out or have something delivered from the nearby restaurants. Grossery shopping was quite a first for me and I had hated it..I didn't linger inside the shop long and realize I have probably made a mistake. My fridge is almost empty...what if shes doesn't like pasta?

Stop stressing out, there's always pizza you can order.

I help Lily out of the bath and into her pjs. She looks pleased with my dinner choice but asks if I have any grated comté. Of course I don't have anything to grate. I quickly add it on a list that'll serve as my grocery list. I have a feeling it's going to be a long one.

We brush our teeth, then our hair and I tuck her in bed. I'm so exhausted I think I'll go to bed too even though it's only 8:30pm.

"Can you read me a story?"

"Sure" I take the Three Little Pigs I had brought from her bedroom and mentally high five myself. When the story is over, she asks me if I can sing to her. Oups, I had not thought about that.

"Hum, I don't know any French songs."

"You must know lullabies."

"Sorry, I can't remember any." I could always make her listen to one on my iphone but I'd rather not have her look at a screen before bedtime. Think Amelia. I don't know many songs by heart, unlike her mother, but one pops into my mind - The A Team - and I start singing, hoping Lily won't get the meaning. She settles in the crook of my neck and she hums and sings along when she remembers some of the lyrics.

"Maman loves listening to Ed Sheeran." She beams.

"You'll see her tomorrow. Good night sweetheart." I kiss her forehead and settle into my bed. That was the longest day of my life.

...............................................................