Amal

Pain and emptiness.

What was pain, I had truly forgotten as by the passing time I had gotten so used to it that it had become a part of me now.Emptiness clouded me as I strived to hang on to surviving a battle I didn't know of.A journey I was forced to start.

Where did I make the mistake?What had I done wrong? Where had I crossed the path with the devil?

I was enduring the pain that many other females were also facing.Domestic abuse.But I couldn't point my finger if I was a victim of it because Jalal had a personal conflict with me.He loathed me for my beauty.

What was beautiful in me, I didn't know.He wanted to break me.He used to say that he hates me because my beauty ruins him.It pains him.Yet I was still unaware of the grudge behind his words.I pride my beauty, his words that feel like boulders crashing on me.His anger sparked with such intensity that my bones felt the fear drip.His blows and slaps were so hard that I fear someday I'll be dead.

So many women all around the world get bruised and beaten by their husbands, and it always pains me to think about the helpless ones that don't have a saviour.Yet they heal up and stand again to work, they don't compete back.Just like me.

My fear and scared self is more than my will to stand up for myself.I cannot bring myself to stop Jalal when he hits me.Or when he whispers all harsh words of the world, when he spits all hate to me.Or when he slaps my face saying he'll destroy all of me.

Aunty Shahana had moulded me in between rose petals.Bringing me up, she had used the sweetest of potions and the magic of all good deeds.Since the moment I recognized the world she had taught me everything a wise lady should know.Tender touches and soft spoken qualities moulded within me, made me more weaker.I was weak.Not only for a dominant and intimidating man like Jalal but also for my inner self.I was Jalal's trophy that he had won only to break piece by piece till nothing more was left.Till the golden trophy was ugly enough that it was the dust of feet.

ALLAH tests the most lovable soldiers.

Aunty Shahana's words always make me hold onto life.ALLAH's love and His Ibadah was all I did.Asking for forgiveness and peace of heart and mind.Contentment of soul.

Wiping the moisture from under my eyelids, I folded my arms against my chest, again.The warmth of the pashmina shawl wrapping me up, hiding my cold self.My grey orbs roamed around, focusing solely on the scene before me.

Green lush fields of grass surrounded all around the vast mansion.The cold wind making the grass dance along the soft un-hearable tunes.The last rays of the once bright sun now fading behind the large mountains of Abottabad.Hiding away.The hues of orange and pale pink covering against the vast sky welcoming the coming dark night.

The white chiffon curtains lined in the large balcony danced once again as a gush of wind crashed with them.Crashing me too.My dark blue dupatta slid off my head pooling on the shoulders, my fingers hurriedly setting the fabric on my head as Azaan of Maghrib rang from all around making me inhale a soft breath.

My eyes closing as my mind traced over all the words in answer of Azaan.Minutes passed and I silently said my dua.Making my way inside the bedroom, I spread the prayer mat before praying.

Just as I completed my Namaz and folded the prayer mat, the door burst open.Turning around abruptly I came to face a crying Gulshan.She walked inside with a shaky gait.Worried I placed the prayer mat on the bed, my frail hand on her shoulder as I raise my eyebrows,

"Mad..dam.. h..hee.He..s hi..tting Marwa Mada..m.Please go save he..r"She completed stuttering.Her caramel skin paling as her tears streamed down her dark eyes.Horrified at her words I pressed a hand to my heart.Tears brimming my eyes.

"Gulshan.Don't worry.Go to your quarter."I managed to say.My quivering self holding on to the bed for support.

The woman turning around before going out of the room.Inhaling a shaky breath I stood up going out too.

Walking down the grand spiral staircase, I heard the loud shrieks and cries of Marwa.Taking quick steps towards the grand hall, I stopped dead in my tracks.My eyes widening like saucers as I tried to gain my breath again.

Marwa was in the grip of Jalal as he brutally yanked at her long hair.His lips in a sneer as he tugged harder at her hair.Her eyes were closed as blood slipped down her forehead, standing on her toes.Chips of glass scattered all around the floor.But that didn't shock me much, what horrified me more was little Saman in the hand of the beastly man as he gripped at her small arm.Loud cries leaving the little girls mouth as she wailed out in helplessness and pain.

Marwa thrashed in Jalal's grip, her eyes deadly as she struggled to get free.

"Leave my Daughter.Leave her alone."Marwa cried in utter despair.

"Uh, you disobey me and expect me to listen to your cries.I'll hurt you, by hurting her."He roared loudly.

My barefoot took quick steps as I reached Saman and freeing her from Jalal grip after a harsh tug.Jalal's enraged eyes landed on me, at the intrusion.My scared self hugged a more scared Saman close to my chest.

I heaved as I moved away from the couple, taking Saman with me.

"Yasir..Yasir."I shouted out as I reached the end of the hall.The guard hurried inside the house.I handed a crying Saman to him gravelly.

"Take her and Akbar to Gulshan.Now"I instructed in utmost despair and helplessness.The guard hurried away as I once again stepped in the lion's dan.

Jalal was twisting Marwa's hand behind her back as he laughed like a sinister.I gasped out as Marwa screamed out when the shiny metal made contact with her shoulder.Slicing through her skin.I shuddered horrified, running to her rescue.My feet came in contact with the sharp pieces of glass but that didn't stop me as I tried to take the knife from a very furious Jalal.He pushed me once, and I stumbled back but I didn't stop.Throwing away the sharp blade on the floor, I pushed at his hard body.

Jalal turned to me suddenly stopping his actions.Everything stilled as his cold eyes met my fearful one.

"Jalal please.."I said.

His square jaw clenched more before he throw a crying Marwa carelessly on the floor.Her head colliding with the hard floor.A scream ripped from my mouth as I reached towards her only to be stopped.I wiggled in Jalal's arms as I tried to free myself.Marwa was whimpering in pain as she tried to remain conscious.A large gash was on her cheek, blood trickling down her skin.

Jalal held me back as I tried to reach her once more.

"Oh no no.Not so fast beautiful."He mocked.

"Jalal pl..ease.. Let mee.."I cried as he tugged at my hair.My scalp protesting in utter pain.My hands reached towards Jalal's hand trying to break free from his hold.

Trying.I was always Trying.

"You need to learn a lesson yourself.Didn't I forbid to contact each other."He yelled loudly making me stand on the broken glass.The sharp pieces digging in my skin.Piercing through the thin blanket and burning the flesh.

"Please.. Please.."I pleaded hissing.

"You're too busy these days making friendship around my house without my permission.Getting attached with everyone.You little bi*** "

I closed my eyes as he gripped my jaw tightly.

"Answer me."He shouted loudly.

"Sorry .. Pleasee.."I wailed out.My tears blurry my view as I shuddered in his grip.

"I'll tell you what sorry is.Just wait."He slapped me hard making me stumble, before he again composed my posture by gripping my hair.Another loud smack.

Blood splurged in my mouth as the metallic taste hit my taste bud.Bile rising in my throat.Yet I only cared for Marwa right now.She had two lives to look after her and I had no one before me.

"Jalal.. Let me Aahhh help Marwa.."I pleaded once again wincing as he pushed me onto the floor.My palms made contact with the broken shiny glass that dug deep on my skin.My dupatta came sliding off my shoulders as I lay on the floor with my front against the tiles.Liquid trailed agonizing slowing down the sole of my feet.

"I want ..to help her.."Marwa's eyes were closed as she breathed heavily.I was pulled upwards as I wobbled to stay on my feet.The cruel man tugged me along him, his words reaching my ears,

"You want to help.I'll make your work easier."He sneered.

Dragging me out of the room by yanking at my hair, I could only cry and scream.

ALLAH

ALLAH

ALLAH

Opening the double door of the lawn he throw me out closing the glass doors on my face.My head spinned with pain as I lay on the grassy ground listening only to the breathing of my body.It felt as something was poking needles on to my palms and feet.I sat up, wincing slightly.My gaze landing on my bloodied palms.The red liquid painted onto my skin.I sobbed out loudly pleading ALLAH for Rehm.

Standing up, I fisted my palms as they banged against the glass doors.

"Jalal .. Jalal.."I shouted loudly through my hoarse throat.

No response.

I banged continuously in desperation, thrashing the doors but they wouldn't open.

"Please open.. Jalal.. Open the door." I slid down crying.I sniffed before standing up.Wiping my tears from the back of the hand, I walked along the walls of the mansion.Rounding around a little, the main hall's window came in my view as I made a run for them.

To my disappointment they were locked as I banged loudly.Jalal was sitting on the sofa like a king as Marwa sat on the floor near the sofa picking up the broken glass pieces.Her cries were silent unlike mine.Bruised and Bloodied, she sat there looking dead, inside out.

Giving up my fatal tries, I moved away going back where my husband had shut the door at my face, locking me out of the house.

Fresh tears pooled in my eyes as I sat on the grass.My shivering hands pressed against my body as I brought my knees to my chest, hugging myself.The cold night made goosebumps to appear on my skin.My sobs didn't seize as I hiccupped in the silent night.The bright lights from inside the house illuminated the garden-lawn dimly making fear crawl in my skin.The dark night and loneliness made me creep out.My heart drummed against my thrashing ribcage as I sat under the open sky.Rocking myself I prayed for Saman and Akbar to be safe.

If only I could get help from the guards or someone.But what trust had I in anyone.Afterall they were men.And they were Jalal's men.Although they all feared his ruthless self and had sympathy for us but still-

The cold wind rose shivers in my body like a lone leaf on a winters snowy eve.I wrapped my dupatta around myself to warm my shaking body.The pazeb (anklet) around my thin ankles felt too cold, freezing my veins.My cries had stiffened yet my tears were like waterfall.The warm droplets rolling down my cold skin.Placing my head atop of my knees, I hugged myself more tighter, trying to find comfort, somewhere, anywhere.

Jalal's words were like bricks thrown my way.His words seemed almost true and I always believed the harsh words he uttered.Maybe what he called "my beauty" was poisonous.Maybe I was the bad one here.But what fault had I in it.ALLAH had made me.I was ALLAH'S creation.Self hate had started to bloom inside my heart months ago and I feared one day it'll burst.

Destroying me and Jalal would succeed.

Aunty Shahana had constructed me like a flower yet little did she know that I was now carved as a sharp blade.She had taught me to see the brighter side yet I was engulfed with the darkness of years.The smile she would ask to plaster was now swept off with tears of misery and agony.The fantasy was crushed and a hard slap had caged me in reality.Love was all I got from her, hate was all I deserved.

The soft petals of rose had withered away and what remained was the sharp shiny blades of awful misery..

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Hmm.. Sensitive chapter , yeah .. Tell me How was it ..?? I will be waiting for your awesome feedback .. :) :*