Here you go a long and nice update .. :)

Enjoy to the fullest because it has some dark secrets hidden.. ;)

***

Arsalan

No

The word was a hoarse whisper.

A bitter truth that had pierced through everyone's heart.

A reality that brought us down from our high, throwing us on the hard ground from the beautiful sky.

Salah had whispered out the words like they were on the tip of his tongue.Like instead of repeating yes in his head he had memorised No.It was hard to see everything scatter around like wild fire in the forest.

The smiles had disappeared and happy tears had dried as the dusts of despair and sadness had stuck to the flesh.I wasn't much angry at Salah, the stunt that he had pulled a week ago.Refusing to marry, when the bride sat before him already accepting him in her nikah.

A week had passed like wind and Shahwar had changed so much.The fake smiles she plastered to everyone, yet I knew that in the inside she was dying.That she was sacrificing her love to a woman we merely knew.She was sacrificing for that man whom she loved more than herself.

I knew Shahwar, I always warned her since the time I got to learn a lesson,

an ugly one.

I wasn't angry at Salah, I was disappointed.He had just repeated what I had done in the past.He had unknowingly followed my footsteps and I hated myself for putting an example.

At least I hadn't done anything at this extreme.Yet, I had said no to her.And I always said No to her.It wasn't planned and it just happened as time passed.

No

No

No

From the very start it was a no.But I don't know how it all started and when did it even start.A shiny tiny sparkle in the blanket of darkness or the scorching sun in the horizon.

I exhaled out a deep breath, leaning against the car seat.My eyes momentarily glanced at the local restaurant that buzzed with men even in this hour of the dark night at the side of the highway.

The small glass of tea now remained empty as it sat against the dash board.The windows were up and so silence filled the car, unaware of the wild laughs and talks that glossed over the place from where my car was parked.

Despite being in my own personal space, a dark feeling dwelled in between, gnawing at my insides.My heart drummed against my ribcage whilst my breaths became my shelter.

Shelter-home.Where it was , I didn't know.

The starless sky pitied me as my mind continuously wandering over the boundaries in my head that screamed-prohibited area.Yet it seemed not to care as at last all the boundaries were crossed and a sea of emotions washed over me.

A thick fog surrounding all around that I didn't even feel that I sat in my car, parked outside a small restaurant.Everything became blurry as I closed my eyes tightly, my grip tightened on the steering wheel.

She had ruined it all.

She had ruined it for me.

I hated, Salah had guts to refuse to love.But that I had done too.Now love was ugly.Love was ugly then too.

Love was ugly.

Love was ugly.

Love was ugly.

That's all I knew.It had turned ugly because that's all I saw.It destroyed Shahwar.It destroyed Salah.Because Salah loved Talia.Not even a touchable weapon yet it had the power to destroy.How was it so strong and I so weak.

She had defined it but she had warned too.The more fragile, the more sharp love was.The more soft, the more harder it was.

But why-

I didn't get to see the beautifulness.I didn't.Seeing Shahwar so madly in love gave me hope.Gave me a new perspective.A new definition.But now I was back to square one and so was my definition, hope, perspective.

Love was the same ugly as it was five years before.Nothing had changed.Only I had changed.My heart had changed.I wasn't same like the idiot I was before.Instead now I was a strong man who had everything under control, who ran successful car showrooms all over London.

A storm had started and I couldn't control it, suppress it.It demanded to be let free.Yet I opposed to surrender.And how could I ?But it was stronger and I had to just let go.

"Why did you send me flowers this morning?"I asked the woman, leaning against the counter.

Her dark eyes casted me a look over before her gaze settled on my charcoal orbs.Leaning in her chair, she finished off her typing, a slow smile curving her red painted lips.

"That because I wished to."She stated looking up at me again.

"Thanks but don't send them again."I said straightening myself.

"Uhm hmm.You didn't like them?"She asked before rounding the counter.

"Its not about what I like."I replied looking around the silent floor.

"Okay Arsalan.Don't get so grudged-up.I won't."She stated firmly casting her eyes down for a second.

I was about to turn around but she stopped me.

"Arsalan."She said smiling.

"Lets go to a lunch date."Her statement caught me off guard as she blurted the words out.

My eyes widened for a second before I composed myself.

"Sofia-"

I paused.

"We- don't go on dates.We only go on lunch meeting.Totally related for office work."I cleared looking at her.

Her once bright smile brightened more as she leaned a little closer making me clench my fist.

"So what? We can start our dates from now on.Because I love the way you say my name."She giggled, the sound filling all around me.

I only shook my head.

"No."

"Oh please."She insisted innocently.

"No."I said again moving back a little but her hand caught mine.

"Okay.But at least say my name.You know my name has an 'a' in the end only to fit your name, Arsalan."She said batting her eyelashes shyly.

Ya Allah.

"I have work."I stated removing my hand from underneath hers.

"Okay.But can you at least accompany me to a friend's engagement tonight.I really don't want to go alone."She said playing with the end of her brown jacket.Pouting.

I thought.To go or not.We were just colleagues or maybe I was her friend.Her dark eyes just kept from refusing as I said.

"Okay, I'll pick you up."And then I turned around to leave.Leaving her behind squealing in joy.

Hours later, I waited outside her double-storey house.She didn't make me wait a second as she came running in her high heels.Opening the front seat door she whispered a small 'hi' but didn't sit in.

Standing a step away from the door she asked,

"How do I look?"

The peach blouse was tailored to perfection with dull gold embroidery, her flowy skirt danced at her feet.The high heels making her look a few inch taller.The dangling earring played with her dark hair that were pin straight and left open on her back, styled sideways to her left shoulder.

Her small brown eyes looked much bigger with the makeup and her lips were painted with a pinkish lipstick.She gave a twirl and only then I noticed the tassel strings that danced on her slim waist.My eyes moved to her dark ones as she asked again,

"Tell.. what do I look?"Her tone showed her exasperation.

"Beautiful-" The words just slipped out before I could even tuck them in.I turned in the seat looking at the road before me but I noticed the smirk that stretched her lips as she settled in.

The function was a fancy one as people danced on the dance floor after the engagement and dinner.I met a few men that talked about business but soon Sofia pulled me to meet a few of her friends.

"This is Arsalan, my boyfriend." She introduced to a lady in her early thirties as she smiled politely at me.

"I am not her boyfriend."I clarified glaring at Sofia but she just rolled her eyes.Waving her hand at the woman she said carelessly,

"Never mind."

Next was another woman but a younger one with her little daughter in her arms and her husband besides her.

"This is Arsalan, and he is my-"before she could say I interrupted.

"I am her friend."I smiled tightly at the couple as the man shook hands with me.My arms was curled with Sofia's as she introduced,

"This is Paras, she's the bride's sister."I nodded my head,

"Nice to meet you both."

"Same here, Sofia talks a lot about you."The woman said.

"She does."I wasn't shocked like I pretended.Sofia was again dragging me but I pulled her back.People were around us enjoying their selves so I only said,

"Its getting late, I'll drop you home."

The drive was silent and the atmosphere was thick.Sofia seemed angry and she sat looking out in the dark.Stopping infront of her villa, I sighed,

"Sofia, we are not girlfriend-boyfriend.I can only be your friend."I stated gulping not turning to the woman.

"I didn't mean THE boyfriend, I meant Boy-friend."She emphasised on her words moving her hands around.

"We both know what YOU meant."I whispered enough for her to hear.

She opened the car door,

"Just stop doing, whatever you're trying to do.Okay.You'll destroy US."She got down the car, slamming the door shut before walking off.

I sat in silence until she was inside her house.My jaw was clenched as I pondered over her words.There was never an US.Starting the engine I drove off.

Yet the trail of smoke still lingered around me, still fogged around me.She wasn't a puzzle.She wasn't a mystery.She was so easy to read.Maybe because the woman never hid her emotions, her expressions.

An open book.

That she was.She had everything in her control even sometimes me.She made me learn a new lesson each day.Each day her words taught me something new.Yet I didn't understand them that well, sometimes they passed over me unfazed but now as they would decorate my mind, I knew well the meanings behind them.

The ugly words whispered for ugly love.

We weren't at mistake.Not me not her.She just asked a lot from me.A lot that I could not give.

But I tried.I tried a lot but still failed because it was destiny.

I remember the day.The fresh scar.The new truth.The ugly love.The vulnerable me.That day I was weak and now I hated myself for being weak.I hated not standing up for myself.I hated not fighting.

Her words were like a shield to me that only made me stronger.That only protected me yet still killed me.Healed me yet stung me.

She was a poison.I hadn't swallowed it just tasted it.But tasted it enough that it wrecked me.

My phone buzzed breaking the silence in the car as my eyes darted to the flashing screen of the device.Zarah's name flashed through the screen and I ignored it.Swallowing the lump in my throat.My hands traced under my eyes as I wiped the moisture from underneath them.

I wouldn't cry.

I couldn't cry.

Leaning my head on the steering wheel I folded my arms on the nape of my neck.

Sofia

Sofia

Sofia

I wish I never met her.Never had looked in her dark eyes.Never had talked to her.

I was a black heart,

Only because she had turned me into one.

Because she had ruined me.