For some reason Raph has been avoiding me for the past few weeks. He wouldn't talk to me, let alone look at me. Whenever we trained and we had to face each other, he would tell Sensei a lame excuse for leaving.

It made a crack in my heart. Its one thing for him to hate me but its another to ignore me. I've tried many times to reach out to him but he just doesn't budge.

I can't count how many nights I've cried. I knew he was cruel but not this cruel. The only time he speaks to me is through insults and ends up pointing my insecurities.

Tonight I've had it. I am done with his behavior. I am his brother and he can't just ignore me forever wether he likes me or not. After tucking Mikey in bed and wishing Master Splinter goodnight, I travel to Raph's room.

I knock on his door and wait for him to open it.

...And wait.

Wait just a little longer.

"Raph?" I say softly. I tap my finger againts the door and it slightly opens. I hold my breath as I push it wide open and find the room completely empty.

"Raphael?" I repeat. I explore his room and check under his bed, his closet, and even under the covers but he's is not showing up.

My heart begins to beat fast when I get out of his room and head to the living room. If he isn't in his room then he has to be in there. Where else can he be? Maybe the dojo room? The air is chilly and my feet sting as I walk.

I hear grunts and some cussing as a dummy is being hit. Bingo.

Raph is punching the dummy as if there was no tomorrow. His face is glistening with sweat and the way his muscles pop out even more makes me feel weak. The one thing I adore about Raph is the long bands from his mask. Something about the way they swing over his shoulder completes his stubborn image.

"Raph." My voice comes out barely audible but Raph hears me. He breathes deeply as he stops the dummy from swinging and stares at me.

"Leo." The crack in his voice makes my heart skip a beat. Why does he sound so desperate?

"Hey," I say dumbly. "Watcha doin?"

"Watcha doin? That's all you're going to say to me?" He snaps and puts a fist in front of his face.

"Well what do you expect me to say? Why have you been avoiding me Raph?" I ask. I cross my arms, a habit I just recently picked up from him.

"Go back to sleep you dick," he murmurs.

"Okay what the shell is the matter with you?" I gawk at him. "I'm tired of you ignoring me for God's sake Raphael!"

"Come back when I give a shit," he says with an empty laugh.

I feel my nostrils flare. My cheeks flush as I try to contain myself from hitting him. "Why do you hate me so much?" I yell quietly in an attempt to not wake anyone. "Why can't we ever have a decent conversation without you being so damn cruel?"

"Why are you always in my case? Just leave me alone alright?" He yells back as his punches grow harder.

I shake my head repeatedly and stop the dummy from swinging. I stand in front of him, giving him a death stare, and point a finger at him. Tears are threatning to make their way to my eyes.

"No I won't leave you alone. I've left you alone for quite some time and now is the time for talk," I snarl. My face gets closer to his. My vision becomes clouded by tears and I have to blink rapidly. A drop betrays me and rolls down his cheek. Raph's eyes follow that drop as it falls to the ground and his frown slowly disappears.

"There's nothing to talk about," he mumbles. "Please leave."

"No. No I'm tired of you treating me like this. It hurts Raph. It really does," I cry out.

Raph laughs but its not a happy laugh. There is a hint of annoyance in it and it sends a shiver down my spine. Nevertheless, I stand my ground and keep my close distance between him.

"Trust me Leo. You are not as hurt as me," he whispers.

I tilt my head to the side and create a crease on my forehead. He averts his eyes from mine. "What do you mean Raph?" I ask softly.

"Oh what the shell. Might as well get it over with. You're gonna hate me either way," he huffs.

"Wait what-"

But I am interrupted by his arms going around my waist and pulling me closer to his body. My eyes widen and I gasp. His lips make contact with mine and suddenly I am too shocked to even comprehend what is going on. I find myself hesitating to kiss him back...I mean he is kissing me right?

What the heck is going on here?!

Raph's lips push deeper into mine, trying desperately to get a reaction out of me but I just can't. My eyes are wide open and I stare at my hotheaded brother kissing me, eyes closed and creased forehead. His hands cup my cheek before he parts away.

Finally, he stops and his hot breath fans my face. My mouth is wide open and I have forgotten how to breathe. I want to say something but the words are stuck at the back of my throat. Raph's hands land on my shoulder. He looks down as he practically pants.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I hope you understand now."

And with that, he runs away. He leaves me alone with a racing mind and a crushed heart.