It was a long and very awkward carriage ride to our house, but when i got out i came face to face with one of the most beautiful houses i'd ever scene. The long and wide stone steps up to the front door felt like they never ended, and it was bigger than anything i'd scene before. I turned around and the courtyard looked as though it could fit the whole of Kent in it, filled with light green grass and dark green bushes. James came from behind me and stood next to me looking up at the house. "It seems you've left the bottom of your jaw on the floor Diana, you might want to pick that back up before entering the house." He smirked down at me with a sarcastic tone in his voice. I softly laughed back at him while giving him a nudge in the side with my elbow.

I hooked my arm through his and began our journey up the stairs. At the top we were greeted by a butler and a house mistress. "Your grace, you're bedroom has been made and you bags have been taken up. Would you like a separate bedroom made for her grace?" the butler, who looked rather old asked James. "Yes, thank you Herbert." He replied, breaking the bond of our arms to pat Herbert on the shoulder.

I didn't think i needed a separate bedroom considering clearly nothing was going to happen between the two of us any time soon, but in any case, i guess he really can't stand me.

Either that, or i really broke him.

James took me over to the woman who stood behind Herbert. "Diana, this is the house mistress, she will take care of any of your needs or demands during your time here at the house." he told me, not once looking at me.

I was honestly getting frustrated at this point, and wasn't really listening to the things he was saying. I tried subtly getting closer to him, but he quickly moved away. I was on the verge of giving up, but i remembered my mothers words and figured that i needed to give it more time than a couple of hours.

"good morning miss...?" I asked the woman. "you can just call me Eloise, your grace." She answered keeping her head down. I tilted my head to try and get her attention, but in my ear i heard. "don't patronise her Diana." from James. I put my head back up again and looked at him with anger plastered all over my face, my skin itched and my self control was slowly being torn through because i wanted to just slap him there and then, nut instead I stared at him in disappoint and couldn't help but feel like it was just pure hatred between the two of us now. And if he wasn't going to try and just be plain out rude than so was I.

I faced Eloise again and put a comforting smile on my face, which was real, before putting my index finger on the bottom of her chin and slowly raising it up so our eyes would meet. "smiling suits you Eloise. you can smile when you're with me." i told her her before, leaving James outside and entering the house. i was half way up the stairs when i heard him say again, "I will see you at dinner, darling.". I closed me eyes and clenched my fists to try and contain my annoyance with him. Ignoring him, i continued up the stairs and at the top met a maid who led me through the long halls and rooms, towards my bedroom.

"ere' you are', your grace." She said nervously with a strong cockney accent. "you must be from London." I assumed, taking my shawl collar off and giving it to her. "uhh...yes your grace. east london to be exact." she replied, gathering up the courage to finally look at me.

I wanted to make her and the rest of the maids feel calm, and not petrified as if they were a bird hiding under a small shelter and i was the cat ready to leap out on them and rip their limbs off one by one purely for my own entertainment. that may have been a bit too detailed.

"I love london, i spent... a lot of time there growing up." I shared, walking over to my dressing table to touch up my hair. "ya did?" she asked, coming over to help me. I laughed softly in comforting way at her accent. "yea' and i luv a bit of steak an' kidney pie" I imitated her accent, and we both burst out laughing afterwards. "was that any good? and be honest!" I asked her, letting out a few more chuckles. "It was perfect your grace!" she continued to laugh, and i was pleased with myself. mission: become the human saving the bird - accomplished :)

Later on that evening i was dreading dinner, and i was almost nervous to have to sit and eat with him alone with now conversation other than the odd 'i hate you.' I started pacing because that's what i tend to do when im nervous and started repeating potential conversation to myslef. "how was your day? no ew. did you do any paperwork? what no. did you eat anything? UGH NO!" I was just getting annoyed at myself, so i just walked out and tried not to get too into my head even though that's exactly what i had just been doing.

He sat at the far end of the table and i sat at the other end, and you could just tell that this was going to be bad. the servants bough our dinner in and placed in front of us, they offered him wine and he said yes. they asked me the same but i said no all while silence filled the room.

"is there something the matter my love?" He asked, in such a hypocritically patronising way. "no your grace, i just don't feel it's the occasion for wine. i'm not feeling in the celebratory mood just yet." i teased, with a stone faced expression. "In fact, i'm not even very hungry. In which case, i think i will just excuse myself." I announced before pushing my chair away from the table and abruptly leaving.

I burst into my room and started quickly pacing around my room, soon after James came in after me and closed the door behind me. I turned around to see him standing there, "yes, your grace?" I asked, in a very passive aggressive tone. "stop it Diana." he huffed. "stop what?" i dared go any further with this unnecessary conversation. "i though we were done with pretending." he replied. "so did i, though it's all you've done since you asked me to marry you James." "and why do you think that might be?"he asked me, becoming flushed with frustration.

"we kissed Diana and you disposed of me like i was the core of a bloody apple. you left me to rot and wallow in my self pity. not even that, but the way you disposed of me. your words and your tone was undeniably brutal, and for what reason? to pity me, or to take advantage of me?" he spilled, the anger taking over his voice. "neither." i replied, trying to avoid eye contact. "THEN WHAT!" he raised his voice. i looked up at him with sadness and grief in my eyes. "I DID IT FOR YOU!" i also raised my voice to make sure that we were level with each other. "in what was was taking my heart out of my chest and ripping in front of my face, doing it for me Diana?" he asked, coming closer so that we were face to face. i felt tears going down my face and with that i turned away, ashamed of how vulnerable i was around him.

"it was never my intention to marry you James. If it had continued to kiss you, it would've meant i was leading you on for no particular reason. Eventually we both would have gotten too careless and had been found out." I explained. "you broke me, because of you own ego?" he assumed, raking his fingers through his hair from lack of understanding. "of course not! like i said, i did it for you! Everything was for you, EVERYTHING. if you had been found sleeping around with Diana Haywood, any respect for you would have deteriorated, there and then." i seethed, waving my arms around frantically. "and for god's sake james, have you ever considered hoe hard it was for me to break my heart AND YOURS!" i added, screaming at him with a red and tear covered face. "WHY THOUGH DIANA? WHY ALL OF THIS FOR ME?" he shouted back. "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" i shouted louder than anything before that.

"i have loved you from the first moment i saw when i was dancing in that ball, i loved you when i saw you with Letitia, i loved you when we kissed and I LOVE YOU NOW! more than anything in this world James and i am so sorry that this was the worst possible thing that could have ever happened to you. and i know that i am the last person you'd want to marry! but know now that i broke you because i loved you so INCREDIBLY MUCH that my heart constantly feels like it's about to burst from longing and desperation for some kind of returned feeling!" I blurted, and pushing him to end.

he finally looked at me with an expression other than stern, but it was still so hard to read. It was like a mixture of surprise guilt and confusion all at once. "you think i didn't want to marry you?" he questioned coming closer to me. "you honestly believed what i said about running out of time?" he added. I nodded slowly, sniffling my nose. "Diana, not to sound narcissistic, but even you know i could've asked anyone to marry me. time didn't matter, i had all the time in the world, and to be frank a duke doesn't even need a wife. but even though you hurt me so much, i still wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." he held my face in his hand and lowered his voice, "i can't sleep because my mind is overrun by thoughts of you."

He went over to my ear and whispered, "your hair" i felt his warm breath on my neck, and had to close my eyes from the sensation. he travelled to my other ear, "your smile" and then he moved the hair off of my neck and planted a small and soft kiss on it, "your laugh" another kiss, each one making me burn even more from desire. "everything about you, diana." he came face to face with me again. "of course i love you, i've always loved you." he added.