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The sound of feets tapping together in sync....the tinkling sound of the tiny anklet bells tied around the ankles and the melodious notes of classical music playing on loop were the sounds that could be heard in the Anupama Dance Academy on a normal day.

However, today something was different.....there was an awkward silence in the atmosphere.

Kinjal thought to herself as she stood at the entrance of the academy wondering if she has come at the wrong time.

This was when she heard a faint voice of someone familiar coming from inside.

As she moved closer to the door, she saw Anupama talking to someone on her phone.

Anu(on phone):- The props were supposed to be delivered by yesterday Mr. Sinha.....we have our rehearsals starting tomorrow and we still don't have the props. How are we supposed to practice?...This is absolutely not done.

She argued on the phone regarding some dance props and Kinjal just stood there at the entrance admiring how her mother has come a long way since last year.

Flashback

A year ago....

Anu:- Kinju baby....yeh sab mujhse nhi hoga....yeh sab mai kaise kar paungi....nhi nhi...

She panicked as she looked at the books lying in front of her.

Kinjal:- Mummy....mummy....relax....gehri saans lijeye....breathe.

She tried to calm Anupama down and continued after she relaxed a bit.

Kinjal:- Good...Aab meri baat suniye....I know yeh books and itna sara content abhi aapko kaafi overwhelming lag rha hai....lekin dekhiyega aap ek baar padhna shuru karengi to...sab yun chutkiyo me finish ho jayega....

She said giving Anupama the much needed confidence to complete those books but Anupama had something else on her mind.

Anu:- Wo baat nhi hai beta....

She said and Kinjal looked at her confused.

Anu:- Wo...wo....

She stuttered in doubt.

Kinjal:- Boliye na mummy kya baat hai....thode der pehle tak to aap confident thi ki aapko aage padhna hai....fir achanak se kya hua?

She asked again wondering what went wrong in the last few minutes to which Anupama replied....

Anu:- Wo jab aage padhne ke baare me socha tha....to to...

Kinjal:- To?

Anu:- To yeh nhi socha tha ki sab angrezi me padhna padega....

She answered hesitantly but Kinjal failed to understand her apprehensions behind that statement.

Kinjal:- Mummy to isme kya badi baat hai....English language hai....koi Voldemort ka naam nhi....ki aap bol ya padh nhi sakti....

She replied casually not paying much heed to it.

Anu:- Tu samjh nhi rhi hai Kinjal....bolna to chodo....mujhe angrezi dhang se padhna tak nhi aati...

She openly expressed her concern giving Kinjal an inkling to her fears.

Anu:- Mai ss....ss....suri aur thenku bhi shi se nhi bol paati aur tu in kitaabo me likhe itne bade bade English ke shabd bolne ki baat kar rhi hai....

She added which made Kinjal think of the one question bugging her mind since a long time.

Kinjal:- Mummy...aap bura na maane to aapse ek baat puchu?

She asked treading cautiously not wanting to hurt her mother and Anupama just nodded in response telling her to go ahead.

Kinjal:- Kyu nhi bol paati hai aap sorry aur thank you jaise simple words?

She questioned and Anupama was taken aback by it as she thought Kinjal too was embarrassed by her language skills just like Toshu and Pakhi.

This time it didn't go unnoticed by Kinjal.

Kinjal:- Mummy....I know aapki schooling ek Gujarati medium school se hui hai....but aapka college to Gujarati medium nhi tha na.....

She added quickly explaining the intention behind her question.

Anu:- Uska in sabse kya lena dena?

She asked wondering as to why is Kinjal posing such questions all of a sudden.

Kinjal:- Lena dena hai mummy....aapne Ahemdabad ke ek reputed college se b.com kiya hai.....wo bhi itna hi nhi....aapne har saal college me top kiya hai....aap dance aur English debate club ke member bhi reh chuki hai....aur aap keh rhi hai ki aapne itna sab kuch bina English padhe ya bole kar liya?

She replied recalling the conversation she had with Devika a few months ago while Anupama sat stunned thinking how did Kinjal came to know about her college life.

She hasn't told anyone about this.....not even her children because apparently no one has been interested in her.

Anu:- Tujhe yeh sab kisne bataya?

She asked in astonishment but Kinjal avoided answering as she felt the matter at hand was more important than revealing her source.

Kinjal:- Wo important nhi hai Mummy.....important yeh hai ki jo cheez aapko itne acche se aati ho....wo aap kaise bhul sakti hai....

She expressed her wonder as to how someone can forget something that they have been so good at and Anupama took a gulp as some of the memories from her past flashed before her eyes.

Kinjal who has been sitting quietly on the couch waiting for Anupama to say something started worrying as soon as she saw some sweat forming on her face.

The glimpses from the past where she was forcefully pinned to a wall with a hand grasping her throat forcing to apologise...started suffocating her in the present.

Her breathing became heavy as her heart drowned in fear. She started struggling for air the same way she had years ago and began rubbing her throat trying to remove the hand holding it.

Seeing her mother going in a trance like state, Kinjal panicked and immediately went to her.

Kinjal:- Mummy....kya hua aapko?

She called her out shaking her by her shoulders and the jerk brought Anupama back to the present.

As the trance broke, Anupama slowly gathered her breath and calmed her nerves while Kinjal sat on the couch comforting her.

A few minutes later, after Anupama felt a bit relaxed, Kinjal went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.

Offering her the glass, she said...

Kinjal:- Mummy paani pee lijeye...

Anupama took the glass from her hand and gulped it in one go.

Kinjal:- Aap theek hai?

She asked feeling anxious about Anupama's condition.

Anu:- Haan...

She replied with a faint smile.

Kinjal knew Anupama had a lot of trauma from her past but today she got a glimpse of it.

She wanted to discuss it with her but was not sure if she is the right person to do it.

Kinjal:- I am Sorry mummy....aapko force karne ke liye....mujhe nhi pata tha yeh sawal aapko itna upset kar dega...aapko nhi batana to mat bataiye....lekin please panic mat kariye....

She apologized not knowing what to say and Anupama sighed realising that Kinjal saw her in a state she never wanted to disclose to her children.

She never wanted Kinjal to witness her panic attack but unfortunately she did....however, she can't let her find out the reason behind it. So, she decided to make up some excuse.

Anu:- Nhi maari butiful....aisii koi baat nhi hai...wo itni saari kitabe ek saath dekh li na.....isiliye bas thodi ghabrahat hone lagi....

She replied with a smile trying to show that it's not a big deal but Kinjal knew it was and hence was needed to be addressed.

But before Kinjal could say anything, Anupama immediately changed the topic.

Anu:- Tu puch rhi thi na ki mai sab bhul kaise gayi....

She stated addressing Kinjal's question using it as a way to get the attention off her panic attack.

Kinjal:- Haan....lekin aapko nhi batana to it's okay....

She replied assuring her that it's okay if she doesn't want to talk about it.

Anu:- Aisii koi baat nhi hai....mai batati hoo...lekin usse pehle mai tujhse kuch puchu?

She asked wanting to discuss it.

Kinjal:- Haan puchiye na....

She answered with a smile seeing her mother in law get back to normal.

Anu:- Bachpan me school me tune क ख‌ ग to padha hoga na?

She asked casually and Kinjal was left confused.

Kinjal:- Haan wo to sab padhte hai...

She replied.

Anu:- Theek hai...to fir mujhe suna...

She asked her to recite the Hindi alphabets and Kinjal complied still feeling puzzled about the whole thing.

Kinjal:- क ख‌ ग घ च छ ज झ....

She started quoting the alphabets but stopped in the middle not being able to recall further when Anupama asked....

Anu:- झ ke aage ?

Kinjal:- Yaad nhi aa rha....

She confessed feeling a bit embarrassed on not being able to recall such a simple thing.

Anu:- Are aise kaise...tu to school me first aati thi na...

She made a sarcastic remark and Kinjal looked at her making a sad pout.

Kinjal:- How mean mummy?...aap mujhe aise bhi to samjha sakte the na....

She said understanding what Anupama was actually trying to convey through this exercise and Anupama chuckled looking at her daughter's cuteness.

Anu:- Wo kya hai na beta...wakt ke saath agar hum nayi cheeze seekhte hai...to bahut saari purani cheeze bhul bhi jaate hai....tujhe hindi isiliye yaad nhi rehti kyuki tu use angrezi ki tarah baar baar dauhrati nhi hai.....waise hi mai angrezi isiliye bhul gayi kyuki maine bhi teri tarah use baar baar dauhraya nhi....

She explained giving the least traumatic reason of all.

Anupama was never bad at English....not even in her graduation. Even after being from a Gujarati medium school, she was good at reading and writing in English which most people aren't. As we know not everything is perfect, there was one flaw that always troubled her.....she wasn't fluent in speaking the language.....she struggled with pronunciation more than anything but she didn't give up. She tried to improve her pronunciation skills by engaging in conversations with Devika and got better at it by the end of college.

However, college ended and with that so did her life in the outside world. It became confined to the four walls of her home barely giving her a chance to interact with someone in English. The only people she could have interacted with was her husband and her children but the constant ridicule she was subjected to by them on making even a slightest mistake while speaking brought her to a point when she decided to give up on it.

And as time flew, she lost touch with the language and with herself.

Kinjal:- Lekin mummy....agar humne koi cheez baar baar dauhrayi nhi.....iska matlab yeh to nhi ki hum use bhul gaye hai....

She contradicted after thinking for a while.

Kinjal:- For example...agar mai chahu to mai aapko 5 minute ke andar hindi ke alphabets yaad kar ke suna sakti hoo...because wo mai bhuli nhi hoo....bas wo mere dimag ke kisi kone me locked hai jise unlock kiya jaa sakta hai....waise hi aajtak aapne jo padha hai jo seekha hai....wo aap bhule nhi hai....wo abhi bhi aapke andar hai....bas use refresh karne ki zarurat hai...

She claimed trying to boost her morale but Anupama wasn't convinced.

Anu:- Kinjal...beta...

She tried to protest but was interrupted before she could finish.

Kinjal:- I know mummy....aapko lagta hai ki yeh aapse nhi hoga....lekin aap agar try nhi karoge to aapko pata kaise chalega ki aap kar sakte ho ya nhii....come on mummy...please....agar aage padhana hai to itna to karna padega na....

She stated as she looked at Anupama with pleading eyes melting her resolve.

Anu:- Theek hai....agar tujhe lagta hai ki mai kar sakti hoo....to mai ek baar kosis kar ke zarur dekhungi....

She agreed realising she doesn't have an option.

Kinjal:- That's like my mummy....aur aap tension mat lo...mai aur Nandu hai na....hum aapki puri help karenge wapas se English seekhne me.....

She promised feeling ecstatic.

Flashback ends.

Anupama was still busy on the call oblivious of her surroundings while Kinjal stood leaning against the door observing her mother.

Anu:- Thank you Mr. Sinha....I will be waiting for the delivery tomorrow.

She disconnected the call and suddenly a voiced called her out.

Kinjal:- Mummy....

She said taking Anupama into a surprise hug which Anupama reciprocated.

Anu:- Maari butiful....

She said as she broke the hug and gave a peck on her forehead.

Anu:- Kaisi hai tu?

She asked feeling happy to see Kinjal after so long.

Kinjal:- Bahut acchi....aap kaise ho?

She answered with a smile.

Anu:- Abhi tak to theek theek thi....lekin tujhe dekhne ke baad mai bhi bahut acchi ho gayi hoo...

She replied pulling her cheeks making her giggle.

Anu:- Haan....aur tu tabse darwaze pe khadi thi na?.....kya kar rhi thi khade hokar?

She asked wondering what was Kinjal doing at the door.

Kinjal:- Aapko admire...

She stated leaving Anupama surprised.

Anu:- Huh?

She asked baffled while Kinjal grinned in response.

Kinjal:- Aur nhi to kya....din par din aap itne hot hote jaa rhe ho na ki mai kya batau....

She said in the most dramatic tone ever making Anupama feel awkward.

Anu:- Chup kar....pagal chokri...kuch bhi bolti hai....

She playfully chided Kinjal for using such words for her while Kinjal just smiled at her innocence.

Kinjal:- Lekin mummy sach me....I am so proud of you....just an year back...aap itne nervous the English aur apni padhai ko lekar...and now look at you.

She said praising Anupama for her progress.

Anu:- Iska credit bhi tujhe aur Nandu ko jaata hai....agar tum dono nhi hote na....to mai yeh kabhi kar hi nhi paati.

She stated feeling grateful to God for blessing her with daughters like Kinjal and Nandini.

Anu:- Bacche apne maa baap se cheeze seekhte hai....aur yha mai apne baccho se seekh rhi hoo....

She added while Kinjal sighed thinking that her would be mother in law is never gonna change this age old habit of sharing the credit of her own progress with others.

Kinjal:- Aab kya kar sakte hai....aapke bacche hai hi itne talented....

She boasted as she accepted the credit knowing well that there is no point arguing with her and Anupama gave her a small smile.

Anu:- Chal tu baith....mai tere liye kuch lekar aati hoo....

She asked Kinjal to take a seat on the sofa by the door as she went to fetch something from her bag.

By the time Kinjal made herself comfortable, Anupama came back with a tiffin box and sat beside Kinjal on the sofa.

Anu:- Yeh le....yeh mai Nandu ke haathon tere pass bhijwane wali thi....lekin Aab tu aa gayi hai to yhi pe kha le....

She said offering Kinjal some methi khakara she made especially for her.

Kinjal:- Wow mummy....this looks yumm...

She spoke looking at the food in the tiffin.

Anu:- It tastes yumm too...

She claimed as she fed Kinjal with her own hands.

Kinjal:- Accha mummy....aapne job ke baare me decide kiya?....aap bol rhi thi na ki Vikram ji ne aapko wapas se job offer ki hai company me?

She asked chewing onto the food in her mouth.

Anu:- Haan beta....

She answered a bit uninterested that made Kinjal think that she is considering not taking the job.

Kinjal:- To aapne kuch socha us baare me?.....please don't tell me ki aap company ke top management ke saath kaam karne ki itni acchi opportunity jaane de rhe ho...

She expressed her concern and Anupama immediately addressed it saying....

Anu:- Nhi beta....Aisa kuch nhi hai....mai wo job le rhi hoo....

She broke the news clearing Kinjal's doubts.

Anu:- Aur baat aab opportunity ki nhi hai zarurat ki hai.....I need that job.

She added.

Kinjal:- Sab theek hai na mummy?....mera matalab hai ki paiso ki koi problem hai kya?

She asked worried about Anupama's finances.

Kinjal knew half the earning from the dance academy went into covering its cost while a significant amount from the other half went into paying the loan Anupama took from Devika for college leaving her with a very small amount to carry on her own expenses.

Anu:- Abhi tak to nhi hai but ho sakti hai.....Abhi sirf khud ki zimmedari hai isiliye kharche nhi hai....lekin jab parivaar ki zimmedari hogi....to kharche bhi badhenge....aur mai nhi chahti ki Toshu ko sab akele sambhalna pade....

She told Kinjal about her intention of helping Toshu with the finances in the future leaving her amused.

Kinjal:- Ek saal ho gaye hai....ek saal me Toshu aajtak aapse milne bhi nhi aaya....aur aap uske baare me itna soch rhi hai....itna bada dil laate kha se ho aap...

She said still not being able to process that Anupama is concerned about a son who has not even bothered to call her in a year.

Anu:- Maa ka dil hai...agar yeh apne baccho ke bare me nhi sochega to kaun sochega....

She replied with a faint smile trying to hide the pain of not meeting her son.

Kinjal:- Fir bhi mummy.....I just wish ki Toshu aapko...aapke pyaar ko samajh pata....lekin wo to papa ke pyaar me itna andha ho gaya hai ki use apni maa dikhti hi nhi hai...

She said feeling disgusted at the fact that Toshu admires a person who has done all sorts of wrong in his life but hates the one who had sacrificed the most for him.

Anu:- Mera pyaar use dikhe na dikhe.....tera pyaar use zarur dikhana chahiye kinju baby.....

She said trying to lighten her mood.

Anupama knew Kinjal didn't like Vanraj especially after his affair with Kavya came to light and this had caused a rift in her relationship with Toshu with them being on the opposite sides each time Anupama and Vanraj fought.

Since then, their relationship hasn't healed and deep down Anupama felt responsible for it.