My plan was to ignore Grayson Clarke. In class and lunch, I'll be friendly to him, but other than that, I won't initiate any conversations with him nor will I walk to classes with him. It'll be easier to get rid of the sinful feeling I have towards him. Plus, I'm sure what I'm going through is a phase because of my lack of girlfriends. I'm probably just infatuated with Grayson, nothing more.

My heart is just confused.

Although oddly enough, ignoring Grayson was easier than I had anticipated. It was almost like Grayson was helping me out.

Grayson hasn't tried flirting with me all day or at least checked me out in that obvious way he does to me. I know I shouldn't care, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed.

It wasn't even just the non-flirting, Grayson went as far as not speaking to me. The first-period class was weird. Grayson looked like he was going to say something to me at one point, but he never did. Then I was going to say something but changed my mind. And then at Lunch, he sat a foot away from me! What was that about?

Crazy how I met him six days ago and him ignoring me for half a school day already bothers me. He's not supposed to ignore me. I'm the one ignoring him. So why is he being like this?

Right now, I had five minutes until seventh period with Grayson. I'm at my locker, glancing around the hallways for no one when Alyssa walks up to me.

"Hey," she smiles at me, moving her brown, long hair behind her ear to expose her four piercings.

"Hey," I return the smile before putting a book in my locker and shutting it. "What's up?" That's when I see him; Grayson Clarke. He is walking across the hallway with Alex.

Suddenly I hear Alyssa's voice go up an octave and I realize she asked me a question. Oops.

I shake my head, riding it of Grayson, "I'm sorry, what?" I ask as I refocus on her.

She giggles nervously, "Um, I was just thinking we all should go see that new Marvel movie? This weekend? On Saturday?"

"Oh for sure, I'd be up for a movie. What do the others think?"

"I don't know, I haven't asked them yet, but I know McKenna is free and I think Preston said—"

I make eye contact with Grayson for the longest two seconds of my life before returning my attention to Alyssa. "Actually," I cut her off. What better way to get over some than to go out with someone else? "What if it's just us two?"

Alyssa blushes and looks surprised I'd even suggest such a thing. "Us two? As in a—"

"Date. What do you think?"

"I'd love to go out with you!" Alyssa says quickly with her big wide eyes sparkling with excitement. I'm sure if I weren't here and MaKenna was, she'd be squealing right now.

"Awesome," I say. "Did you look at all the times for the movies?"

"Yeah," she pulls out her phone and swipes over it for a few seconds before saying, "there are times at 4:05, 6:30, 7:15, 9:00. So...?" She looks back up at me.

"So Saturday at like 7:15?" I questioned. "I can pick you up."

"Perfect!" She chirps right as Alex and Grayson come up to us. Although, I have a feeling Alex wanted to see us more so than Grayson considering he's avoiding eye contact with me.

"Unfortunately, nothing Reid does is perfect," Alex quips as he claps my right shoulder. Alyssa laughs as I shrug Alex's hand off of me with the roll of my eyes.

"You never know, maybe he'll be the perfect date!" Oh God, did she really just say that in front of Grayson and Alex?

"Date?" Grayson asks, his expression unreadable.

I laugh nervously and rub the back of my neck while Alyssa excitedly explains how I asked her to a movie date. The one-minute warning bell went off causing a sigh of relief to escape me. We exchanged our goodbyes and headed off to our seventh-period class, Grayson walking ahead of me.

Even if Grayson wanted to talk to me, he would never have the opportunity because Mrs. Wheeler won't stop ranting on and on about our next unit; Musicals. Plus the fact that we sit on the opposite sides of the classroom from each other.

The bell rings for the end of class, I decide to talk to him. Unfortunately, by the time I've packed everything into my backpack, Grayson's gone.

I rush out of the classroom and spot Grayson walking alone just a few feet ahead. I speed walk up to him. "Hey," I nudge his shoulder.

He gives me a small smile that seems almost fake. He doesn't say 'hey' back and continues walking down the hall.

Why does my heart feel weird?

Not thinking, I grab his arm and drag him into an empty, dark classroom. "Are you mad at me?" I ask him nervously.

Grayson's bad for me, I know that. I know the way he makes me feel isn't what I should be feeling towards any guy, but that doesn't mean I want him to hate me for rejecting him. We could just be friends, right?

"No," he says nonchalantly as he crosses his arms and doesn't bother to look me in the eyes. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know, you just weren't talking to me today. Are you... mad because I asked Alyssa out?"

He finally looks at me, but I wish he hadn't. His eyes are so cold and guarded. "No, what you do in your spare time is not my concern. You told me to stay away from you. I'm just doing what you asked."

My heart squeezes in pain. "Well, I was just... confused, I didn't mean that literally."

Grayson gives me a look; are you being serious right now? "You didn't mean 'stay away from me' literally?"

"Yeah," I say knowing how dumb I sound. "I also didn't mean what I said... ya' know, about you forcing me to... kiss you" I whisper. "I know I gave you my, uh, consent," I say blushing.

He nods, "Is that all? I have to get to class."

"Oh... yeah, I guess," but when he turns to walk out I stop him. "Wait, no, we're not done talking. I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have led you on like that then freaked out on you. You didn't deserve that. But I can't be with you."

"Okay," he says nonchalantly.

Okay? What does he mean okay? Shouldn't he invade my personal space and say something sexual to me? Something like: we both know you can't say away from me...?

Grayson's odd behavior is making me so confused, I can't help the word vomit coming from my mouth. "Why are you acting this way? I don't like closed off Grayson. I like the flirty, gets-on-my-nerves Grayson. Are you really acting like this 'cause I rejected you?"

Bad choice of words.

If looks could kill, I'd combust. "I'm not acting like this because you rejected me. This is me staying away from you after I forced you to kiss me and you yelled at me to stay away. Do you know how shitty that is? Fuck, I must be really insane to like someone as stubborn and irritating as you."

Ouch. That hurt. That hurt a lot and agony clenches at my heart. I swallow the lump in my throat. "I- I like kissing you, a lot," I admit in a whisper. He at least deserves the truth.

Grayson scoffs then turns away to leave. I grab his arm to stop him.

"I'm serious. I've never felt this way about anyone before and that scares me." What the hell am I saying? Shut up, Reid! But I don't. "I shouldn't think the things I think about, about you. I was raised very religious, it would go against what my family believes, and—"

"What do you believe? Is it a sin for me to like someone of the same gender?" Grayson asks, stepping closer to me causing my breath to hitch.

I hesitate. Is God testing me right now? What if I tell him the truth about what I think; that it shouldn't matter who you like as long as you're happy. But the Bible states otherwise, doesn't it? Or maybe it's just my parents who think otherwise. Fuck, I'm confused.

"Yes- No... I don't know, I don't know," I repeat, running my hands through my hair. "All my life I've been taught that love is between a man and a woman, but recently..." my sentence fades as I no longer know where I was going with it, or I do know but don't want to admit it. I meet Grayson's beautiful blues eyes. I shake my head, "I'm not gay, Grayson. I can't be. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"Yeah," Grayson agrees with a slight nod. "Me too. Have fun on your date." Then he walks out.

😖