It's been almost two months since I broke up with Alyssa and getting with Grayson.

And it's been amazing! Being with Grayson is stress relieving, exhilarating, and stupefying all at once. I haven't had a panic attack since I've admitted to myself that I was gay. Grayson's really been helping me.

Of course, I still struggle with my anxiety. And due to that, Grayson and I haven't done anything too risky. We don't sneak off to dark, empty classrooms or steal kisses when no one's looking, or hook up in the school bathroom (which is gross, by the way). But we have had our fair share of hot make out sessions in the back of my car or his car. Which, I don't know about you, but that alone gets my heart rate skyrocketing.

I know Grayson's been itching to hold my hand while we walk through the hallway at school or on the sidewalk or crossing the street. Wanting desperately to kiss me whenever he wants. It's not that I don't also want to show affection towards him out in the open. I'm just not ready. And Grayson knows that. He's been patient with me and hasn't once pressured me about it.

Winter break (if you can even call it winter in Florida) went by swiftly. Grayson and I didn't want to make a big deal out of the holidays considering we had only been dating for a week once Christmas rolled up. Grayson got me, well us, matching dinosaur boxer briefs (the romantic in him). I got him a retro, stripped button up shirt.

Back at school, Alyssa and McKenna still sit at a different lunch table. But recently, the death glares has lessened. They've even met up with me and our friends in the morning before school like we used to. Alyssa still avoids eye contact with me though. Progress nonetheless.

"Dude," Alex begins as he plops down on the seat across from me. It's Friday and I can't wait to get home. "You and Alyssa need to make up already. You guys barely dated for a week!"

Alex doesn't care about me and Alyssa being friends again, he misses MaKenna sitting at our lunch table so they can argue.

I shrug. "That's not on me. I've told her we can still be friends but she's still butt-hurt about it," I explain right as Preston sets his tray of trash school food on the table along with Grayson.

Grayson sits a few inches away from me ever since Preston came up to me Monday after lunch and said, "isn't it weird Grayson sits so close to you? Do you think he likes you?"

Now, Grayson doesn't sit as close. Which sucks, but Preston's smarter than he comes off and I know he'll figure us out eventually. I hope that's no time soon.

"It's a little on you," My best friend joins our conversation. "You were the one to break up with her," he not-so-helpfully points out.

"Well, it's been two month, she'll get over it. At least they met up with us this morning and yesterday. I'm sure they'll be back sitting with us by next week."

"Who cares? Alyssa's a bitch anyway," Grayson mutters and I elbow him with a glare.

"She is for starting that rumor about you," Preston agrees with a mouthful of our school's pizza.

"Unless she was telling the truth. Reid, do you have a micro-penis? It's okay, you can tell us," Alex jests.

I grabs fries off of Grayson's tray and throw them at Alex. All of us laugh.

After school, Grayson met me at my house which we had all to ourselves with my parents at work, Angie at daycare, and Peter at baseball practice.

Now, we are lazily swinging in the hammock, Grayson's strong arms wrap around me. I am so content. I could stay like this with Grayson forever.

I glance up at Grayson and decide to break the peaceful quiet we were snuggling in. "Do you think I should talk to Alyssa? You know, try to be friends with her?"

"That's not for me to decide. Do you want to be friends with her again?"

I shrug against his chest, "I don't know. But I feel like I screwed up our friend group dynamic. I know Alex wants to hang out with MaKenna as much as he wants to hang out with us. I doubt he likes having to switch side to side. And Preston and Alyssa used to talk for hours about Game of Thrones. I just don't want them to not be friends with MaKenna and Alyssa just because of me," I finish and lay my head back down on Grayson's chest.

"I know, baby," yeah, that term of endearment started a month ago. I like it. "but you shouldn't feel guilty about that. Alex and Preston make their own choices. They also don't know the whole story between you and Alyssa. If they did, they'd probably tell her to fuck off. I think it's better this way. I mean, talk to Alyssa if that's really what you want, but don't do it just for Alex and Preston's sake."

Grayson's right and makes me feel slightly better and less guilty. I don't want to talk more on the subject so I change and say, "we should go start on homework."

My boyfriend groans dramatically, "Noooo! Can we just lay here a little longer?"

I roll my eyes but am smiling. "No," I tell him and try to sit up, but Grayson pulls me back down.

"I'll do homework for a kiss?" Grayson offers.

I lean up and peck his lips.

"No, no, no," Grayson murmurs, "a real kiss." Before I can respond, his hand snakes to the back of my neck and his lips are on mine.

Fuck, I love kissing him. There's no better feeling.

Our kiss is smooth and careful until Grayson grips my waist and his tongue slips into my mouth. Now our kiss is lustful and urgent.

We shift in the hammock so Grayson is more on top. He glides his hand under my shirt and tenderly grazes it up and down my side. A shiver runs down my spine.

We break away for a quick breath then go back to kissing with our tongues dancing together.

I put my hand on his chest and reluctantly break our kiss. "Homework," I say breathlessly.

"Ugh," was all I get from Grayson before he collapses onto me. "Can't we just get the answers from someone else?" My boyfriend asks into my stomach.

I pat his head a few times, "No, come on. Let go to my room."

Grayson perks up at that and looks at me with a knowing smirk, "your bedroom?" He asks wiggling his eyebrows, "jeez, ask me to dinner first."

I roll my eyes, but am blushing slightly. I push him playfully but it's enough to make him lose his balance and fall onto the freshly cut grass.

He leans up on his elbows, "because of that, I'm not doing my homework."

"Then fail," I tell him as I get off the hammock and start walking inside.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Grayson whines, catching up to me.