❤️AHHH why

am I so nervous to

see my mother??!!

I had just pulled into my driveway and shifted into 'park' when Reid texts me.

I'm about to respond to his text when a movement catches my eye. And when I look up, my breath gets lodged in my throat.

There is a person sitting on my front porch. A person I know all too well and who shouldn't be here. Not in Florida, not in Austberg, and sure as hell not in front of me.

I don't know what to do. We're making eye contact and what the fuck do I do?!

My heart is beating out of my chest. I'm paralyzed, but I know I have to get out of my car. I don't know if I'm breathing, though. Am I breathing? Fuck, is this how Reid feels when he's having a panic attack? Am I having a panic attack?

Okay, okay.

I take a deep breath and shut off my car. I quickly pull down the mirror and check myself out before flipping the mirror back up and getting out of my car.

I hate myself for checking to make sure I look good before talking to him.

Holding my head high and with a bored expression on my face, I walk up to my porch. To Logan, my ex. My ex that shattered my heart and is the foundation to my trust issues and sparked my low self-esteem.

Logan is now standing. "Grayson," his eyes roam my body, sexualizing me in his mind.

He looks the same. Annoyingly tall and muscular. Same stupidly perfect, dark hair. Same equally dark, thick eyebrows. Stupid vibrant green eyes. He has a purple nose ring hoop; that's new.

I hate that adding a nose ring makes him more attractive.

"Why the fuck are you at my house? How the fuck are you at my house?"

He grins, "I didn't know you had a dirty mouth. Well, I did know, but that dirty mouth used to be... sexual," his hand goes to touch my face but I knock it away. "not hateful."

Same teasing personality too.

"What are you doing here, Logan?" I ask again, not wanting to go along with his verbal game.

"I missed you, and-"

I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"And, when I heard you weren't coming to California for spring break, I thought I'd fly to you."

"You bought a plan ticket and flew all the way here, to tell me you miss me?"

"Well..." he grabs the hem of my shirt and I let him tug me to him. I hate myself more. "And other things," Logan whispers and it's like I'm sixteen all over again.

He smells the same; clean like Tide laundry detergent.

I gain some willpower and I push past him. Without looking at him, I say, "buy another ticket and go home." I unlock my front door and step inside. Before I can slam the door in his face, his large hand pushes the door open.

"Come on, Gray, don't be like that."

"You're joking right?" I give in an incredulous look. Fuck him. He was toxic and manipulative. I have every fucking right to 'be like that'.

But, he's inside my house, and the front door is closed, and I have absolutely no strength to tell him to fuck off.

"I know your mad."

I scoff again and make my way to my bedroom. Which is a mistake. We shouldn't be in a small space together. Because even though he made my life hell, Logan was my first love. My first for everything.

This is bad. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is really bad. I can't do this. I'm not Reid, I don't just spill my emotions out and talk things through. When Logan and I argued, back when we were together, it just ended in making out or sex. I can't be in the same room as him and yet I already am!

He shuts my bedroom door.

"Please, just hear me out."

Logan steps closer to me, but I put my hand up, "don't," I warn him. I hope I look threatening and not like I'm stuck in quick sand and the only way out is fraternizing with the devil I used to fuck or suffocating.

Suffocating seems like the better option right now.

Logan puts his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm sorry. For everything. Everything your sister and I-"

"She's not my sister," I correct him, bitterly. Olivia's my half-sister, yes, but after everything that she put me through, she's just Olivia.

"Olivia and I did to you. It was horrible and shity. And I was scared to come out, you know how my dad was. He would've beat my ass and kicked me out."

"So you torment me? Humiliate me? Make me want to-" off myself, I was about to say, but think better of it. He doesn't need to know that, though I'm sure he heard the rumors. "Your asshole dad is a shit excuse for what you did to me."

"I know. I take all the blame, I'm sorry. I miss you."

"Well, I don't miss you. So you can go."

He steps closer to me and I don't tell him 'no' this time. "You know I can see who watches my stories. You always do. Why wouldn't you block me if you didn't miss me?" Logan whispers and looks down at my lips before meeting my eyes.

"I haven't looked at your story in months," I oppose.

"Since the new year," he specifies. Guilt washes over me because he's right. I hate that during my first month dating Reid, I was checking on my ex. I'm so shitty. "Why is that? Are you with someone? You don't post on social media anymore." Logan looks around my room as if fully taking in my bedroom for this first time.

He steps away from me and picks up one of Reid's Thrasher t-shirts. "I know you wouldn't wear this. What is it, a size small? Don't tell me your fucking some scrawny boy," teases Logan. He finds the photo album on my desk. The one I put together of Reid and I.

"Stop," I go to grab it, but he's already flipping through the pages.

"Dating!" Logan laughs mockingly."You're dating this fifteen year old?" I grit my teeth, my fist clenched. "Oh come on, Gray. He's pretty- I'll give you that- but he's not your type."

Now I'm pissed off. I yank the photo book from his hands and toss it on my bed. "You don't know shit about my type."

His hands are on my waist. "You're type is me," he speaks seriously. "So stop messing around with a bad lay and let's just agree to fuck and forget." He looks down at my lips and I look at his and I'm confused and angry and-

"It didn't go horrible..."

My head whips to my bedroom door. Reid's in my room, "but also not gre-" he looks up, meets my eyes then goes pale when he sees Logan and the whole picture. The picture of my ex holding my waist while we are inches apart.

"What the fuck?"

😳