Crimson rays of the setting sun illuminates the blue sky, making it seem unearthly. Orange and red colour paints a mournful portray in the horizon, as if a reminder of the heart aching incident that is taking place today.

A stray tear slips out my eye, as if the last hope of warmth in this cold, bitter weather. My waist long rusty brown hair is whipping all around my face. The wind is also harsh signalling the harsh reality.

How did this happen?

My eyes cast down at the writings on the grave.

The grave of one of my most amazing friends.

Someone who was always there for me.

Someone whom I'd never forget.

My...

Pet cockroach.

Sam lets out a frustrating sigh from beside me, "Please, God. Just kill me. Please."

"Hush child," I snap at her, "We shouldn't talk at the burial ceremony."

"For the love of God!" Alexis yells as she throws her bouquet of lilies on the ground and crushes them with her feet, "How many times do I need to tell you?! You DO NOT need to bury a cockroach!"

Tears well up in my eyes as I cover my mouth with my palm, "How...how could you say that?" Looking down at the tiny black box that is placed on the ground I sniff, "The person lying in there is my friend!"

Chloe lets out a strangled cry and sits down on the grassy field of the graveyard, "For the hundredth time, Lisa! It's. A. Cockroach. Which you killed!"

"I can't believe I'm missing a date with Mason for this," Sam sighs messaging her temples.

A horrified gasp escapes my lips, "It was an accident! I didn't mean to kill him I swear!"

"Ryder!" Sam shouts as she stomps over to him.

He's leaning on a tree a few feet away from us with his arms folded over his chest and looking at the scene with an amused face.

"Yes?" he replies as he cocks his head towards Sam.

My eyes run down his handsome form and a light blush creeps upon my face.

Damn did he look hot in that suit.

Oh and yes, I forced everyone to wear the formal all-black attire.

"Your girlfriend is going crazy!" She jabs a finger at his chest.

"She's not my girlfriend."

If I had laser eyes, he would have been fried alive.

Simultaneous snorts escapes all of my friends but they don't say anything since they've gotten used to it.

Well, I haven't!

I wanna be his girlfriend, damn it!

"Do something someone!" Chloe bursts out as runs a hand through her dark brown hair, "I'm missing my biology test for this!"

"Aww babe," Andrew props down beside her on the grass, his dark blonde hair messily falling on his forehead. Kissing her cheek gently, he takes her hand in his and smirks, "I'll show you some biology tonight...Know what I mean?"

All of us groan simultaneously, "We did not need to hear that Andrew!"

Chuckling Chloe turns towards him and gently pecks on the cheek, "How's your wound honey?"

"Jesus Christ Chloe," Alexis makes a gagging noise as she turns away from them shuddering, "It's almost been a year! He's fine! Stop asking him that every few seconds! And stop with the PDA!"

"Hypocrite," Sam coughs.

Glaring at her, Alexis turns towards me, "Sorry but I'm so getting out of here."

Without even waiting for my reply she turns back and struts down the carefully cut out path; her heels digging in the dirt.

"Wait for me ma homie!" Sam yells as she also gets up and dusts her jeans, "I can't stay here either! I've got a date!"

I raise an eyebrow at her, "It wouldn't have been weird if Alexis had said that...but you?"

Throwing me a glare, she huffs and jogs down behind Alexis.

Huh, love does change people, doesn't it?

"We should go too," Smiling at me Andrew stands up and offers a hand to Chloe, "It's getting late. And we have work to do."

I snort, "Yeah, your biology assignment."

Rolling her eyes at me, Chloe takes his hand and stands up. Dusting her black knee long skirt, she gives me a small smile, "Sorry Lisa. But I really need to check up on those college applications."

"Gee you're such a good girl," I mutter and turn away from her, "Go shoo! Do your goody girl things that's eventually gonna make you the second Einstein of this century."

After I hear a chuckle and the shuffling of feet behind me, everything gets silent.

Sighing sadly, I crouch down and place the tiny square black box inside the tiny hole that was dug with the help of Alexis' six inches high heels.

"Good bye Mr. Cockroach," I whisper gently as I cover up the hole with dirt. Both of my hands has traces of dirt on it but I don't care.

He's dead.

My cockroach is dead.

The whisper of wind is like a lullaby to my ears. My black dress reaches my thighs leaving my legs bare. A shiver runs down my spine and I wrap my arms around myself and stand up.

It has been one year.

One year since everything happened. So much has changed but at the same time nothing has really.

We reached the hospital on time that day. Other than our bank accounts no one died thankfully.

Batman- sorry, old habit. So the guys that had kidnapped me were arrested shortly after since the police had found a large supply of cocaine and weed with them. Who they were and what was their relation to Ryder still wasn't clear to me.

Chloe and Andrew were finally together. The ideal bad boy and good girl couple. I seriously borrowed a pair of pompoms from Alexis when I found out and waved it all around the school.

No, seriously I did it. After all, I'm Alison Farrow.

Sam and Mason have also started dating, insert fan girl squeal. Though their story was much more dramatic and dangerous but I still waved pompoms for them.

Oh and I know Sam's not-so-secret secret now.

And Alexis? Well she broke up with her boyfriend.

Only to start dating Karin.

Yes, I was blown away at first too. I didn't have a single idea about what was happening behind my back.

P. S - I waved my pompoms for them too.

But everything is changing so fast (not including my still non-existent love life) that I'm getting scared. Summer break is almost over. Meaning all of us will be starting college soon. And college will be so different than high school.

It might be better. Or it might be worse.

Furthermore, I have no clue about where to go from here. What will I do now? Who will be my friends? Will we lose contact?

And a certain someone still hasn't made his feelings clear.

I just don't get him. At all.

Ryder kisses me when he sees it fit, holds me by the waist in all public places as if to show everyone that we're together, gets jealous, intertwines our fingers together whenever he wishes.

But when someone asks him anything about this, his only reply is a curt 'She's not my girlfriend.'

But what does this mean?

What are we?

"I know what you did."

I smile slightly as I feel Ryder's warm presence behind me.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he chuckles lightly, "You acted like this today because you just wanted a reason for all of us to get together. Before we parted ways for college. No matter how stupid you made yourself look, you wanted to spend some time with all of us. Right?"

It's like he's Charles Freaking Xavier

But what is he to me?

What am I to him?

I need answers.

Fuck I need them right now.

The cold breeze of dawn sends another shiver through my body and I tighten my arms around myself.

Something warm drapes itself around me startling me.

I scowl at the jacket someone has decided to put around me, "Remove the bloody jacket Ryder."

His scent envelops me. A special scent made of ivory and pine trees. It never fails to soothe me but today I've had enough.

"You'll get cold sweetheart," he whispers, his warm breath fanning my ear and hugs me from behind.

Any other day, I would have melted straight into his arms but today my anger flared, "Get away from me!"

Shocked he lets me go and raises an amused eyebrow at me, "Why the sudden change?"

I shrug his jacket off which falls on the ground with a light thud and glare at him, "What's your deal?"

"My deal?" he raises an eyebrow at me confused.

"Yes, your deal!" Not being able to control it anymore, I start yelling, "Why do you keep acting like...this? Like you're in love with me or something but then when someone asks if we're dating or not, you're always flat out denying it! Just tell me damn it. If you like me or not! You already know my feelings don't you? Just," my voice cracks slightly and I clutch the hem of my skirt tighter, "Tell me. Please. I just want to hear it from you. So I can move on."

He purses his lips and looks away, "You want to know?"

"Yes!"

"Fine," interlacing our fingers together he starts dragging me behind him, "Then today I'll tell you everything. After all it's long overdue."

I don't get a chance to reply before I'm being dragged behind him to who knows where. The mildly wet grass crunches beneath my shoes as it gets crushed. His grip on my hand is gentle though his jaw is clenched.

We walk through rows of gravestones before coming to a halt in front of one.

I gasp as I read the letters engraved on it.

Aaron Woods.

Glancing at Ryder from the corner of my eyes, I notice his eyes are clenched shut as if afraid of my reaction.

I squeeze his hands gently, silently conveying a message.

I'm here, Ryder.

I'll always be here.

I'm not running.

Not this time.

Not ever again.

Taking a deep breath, Ryder starts, "Aaron was a serious charmer. He was loud, funny and most of all popular. To sum it up, he was everything I was not," he glances at me with a smile, "Kind of like you, I guess."

I let a small smile slip onto my face but stay silent.

"He was the popular brother. Always partying, getting drunk, going out with friends. Again, you. But...we were happy," he smiles fondly, "We were happy in our own little family."

Suddenly his eyes darken as his grip on my hand tightens slightly, "But at the end of my sophomore year, everything started to go downhill."

"What happened?" my voice is low, no more than a whisper.

"I happened," his voice becomes emotionless, "Because of my one mistake...everything changed."