"You seem to replace

Your brain with your heart

You take things so hard

And then you fall apart"

-Melanie Martinez

She didn't know what was going on with her, she was Trinity Jameson Marks, she didn't fall for boys. She wasn't self conscious about how she looked or what she wore. She didn't care about how the warmth of his skin soothed her, how she imagined his big strong arms lifting her up and pining her against the wall...

Fuck, she's doing it again

She didn't expect the Cullens door to be unlocked nor did she expect the house to be empty. She immediately went right to the kitchen, food will solve all her problems. Alice probably saw that she was going to come over and had Esme make some food for her because her one of her favorite foods was sitting in the fridge for her, fettuccine alfredo with broccoli.

After she ate her fill of food she decided to lay on the couch and watch some tv. She wasn't interested in what was on, on the news, she just needed something to distract her from her thoughts.

TJ must've fallen asleep because the next thing she knows, she's jolting up and smashing her forehead against Emmett's teeth.

"Why are you watching me sleep?" She yelled, clutching her forehead as she felt the warm blood begin to form beneath her fingers.

"Why are you in my house?" He countered.

Jasper walked over and handed her a tissue with a smirk on his face, she went from angry at Emmett to calm. She held the tissue to her wound and put pressure on it to stop the bleeding.

"I needed to think and this was the only place I wanted to go that was close."

"You should've showered first." Rosalie joked as she held her nose.

According to them, the pack smelled like wet dog.

"She's here because she has a crush on one of them and doesn't know what to do." Edward said with a small laugh.

"It's not funny, bloodsucker." She groaned and fell back into the couch. "I've just never felt this way about someone, it's weird."

"Come on TJ, we can go talk about it upstairs." Rosalie said as she took her hand, with Alice following.

She sat on a chair in Rosalie's room as she heard from Edward that she and Emmett are like rabbits in bed.

"So what's wrong? You have a crush on a guy, what's so bad about that?" Alice asked.

"Everything!" TJ exclaimed as she stood up and paced the floor. "I've never felt this way about someone, he's so perfect and I'm just... me."

She didn't do insecurity, it made her feel weak and vulnerable, two things that she was not. But Paul made her feel things and being insecure was one of them. He could have whomever he wanted so it was silly to think that he wanted her.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately? TJ, you're gorgeous, I would kill to look like you."

Coming from Rosalie, that really meant a lot to her.

"Not only that, you're funny and kind and you're so open minded." Alice added.

"Thanks guys, I appreciate it." She hugged them both and went downstairs.

"Do you want to play chess?" Edward asked. She nodded.

Edward could read her thoughts as they played, when she lost for the third time, he knew her heart wasn't in it.

"What's going on?" He asked. They weren't as close as she was to everyone else in the house but he still thought of her as a little sister.

"You should know, you can read my thoughts." She mumbled as she moved a piece.

"Checkmate." She looked out the window and saw that it was pouring outside. "You're scared that he won't accept you for who you are?" She looked at him and nodded.

"How can he accept me, if I don't even know who I am or what I am?"

"That shouldn't matter, he should love you for you and if he doesn't, then he isn't worth it."

At least it made her smile, she could always count on Edward to say the right things.

"Come on, I'll take you home, you can't ride your bike in this weather."