FOUR MONTHS LATER...

"BREATHE IN, THEN BREATHE OUT...GOOD." Maggie instructed.

Maggie was a fifty three year old Caucasian with huge eyes—which were sea green. Her skin was very pale, almost to the point she looked sick. And she always wore her jet black hair in two pigtails. And she had a huge nose so she was either Jewish or an inhibitor of bad genetics. Maggie was a counselor and had been one for over twenty years. She sat in the circle among her anger management class to make them feel like she was just a friend and not a superior.

"Okay guys, we're going to talk about what made us angry, today."

Takashi signed up for anger management classes in which he went three days a week. He honestly hated it because he was nothing like these people. But he was only doing this for Braelyn. He wanted to show her that he loved her and wanted her back. He was willing to do anything to get her back in his life. He missed her smile, her scent, her weirdness, he missed holding her at night, making love to her, he missed her voice...he just missed her in general. The saying you never knew what you had until it was gone was not just something that was made up for fun. Takashi truly felt empty.

What he hated about the anger management class was that they had to sit in a huge circle like it was a intervention for alcoholics. Even though every person in the group was an adult that looked well over thirty, they acted like three year olds. The counselor was the worst, she spoke in this really slow but high pitched voice as if they were retarded. The worst part was, the fools actually answered her.

Takashi couldn't lie, he gave effort here, but it was literally only because he had too. The old him would just stare at people and ignore them all session until it was time to go, but he had to show enthusiasm.

"Alright Hannah," Maggie, the counselor said, "why don't you go first? Did anything make you angry today?"

"I hate when people don't put the cap back on the toothpaste! My mom does that shit and I slapped her last time! She's such a fucking bitch! Just put the cap back on the toothpaste and I won't have to hit you." Hannah said, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder.

"No no Hannah, you can't hit your mom, that's not good." Maggie said in almost a childlike voice, "that's very bad."

Someone sitting next to Hannah raised their hand so the counsellor pointed at them.

"What makes me mad is when someone changes the television when I'm watching it. Like what the hell gives you the right?"

"Is that why you choked your seven year old nephew last time, Jonathan?"

Jonathan put his head down in shame.

Takashi felt his skin crawling, he imagined a fire starting and taking every single one of them. He tuned everyone out, wanting to know what Braelyn was doing. He was literally limited to the number of people he spoke too. Now with Braelyn gone he only had Tyrell, and his friends Chris, and Nate left. He had his father but not even they were extremely close like that for him to feel like Florence could be a listening ear.

"Takashi? What makes you mad?" Maggie asked in a squeaky voice.

Hearing his name made him open his eyes. He literally stared the woman down.

"Takashi?" Maggie repeated.

"Oh...nothing. I don't let trivial things get me upset."

Everyone in the room looked at Takashi but slowly turned away. Maggie smiled, impressively, clapping her hands together. "Wonderful! It's been three months since you've gotten mad. You're the only person in the class. Everyone give a big round of applause for Takashi!"

The clapping started as people hooted and hollered, cheering on their fellow group member for a job well done. Takashi couldn't believe he had two more hours of this.

******

"WHEN YOU HAVE SUPERIORITY OVER OTHERS...DOES IT MAKE YOU AROUSED?"

Takashi laughed at the question and literally had to cover his mouth to hide his wide smile. His psychiatrist was weird as hell and he honestly thought it was funny. The fact that the man's face was so straight meant it was a serious question too which is what had Takashi giggling like a sixth grader.

"I'm asking you a serious question, Takashi. All of this is real stuff. You don't have to be ashamed. I'm your listening ear—your safe haven. It's okay to share this kind of information with me."

Yeah right, Takashi thought. my safe haven, please. This is a business transaction. I pay you money every week for you to feed me some mumbo jumbo crap about whatever it is you think my problem is. There's no bond, I don't know you and you don't know me. We're not friends. I'm a client to you and that's it.

Takashi knew how these people operated, they'd tell you anything to get money out of your pocket. Which was fine with him, as long as the therapist did his job. No need to push any fake friendships his way and act like he really cared because Takashi knew he didn't. He paid $250 dollars once a week to speak to Dr. Maine. He had specifically gotten himself a male therapist, not because he didn't mind a woman's opinion, but women would be more bias toward him. A man would be more understanding...at least in his mind.

"I ask you this because from what I've gathered from you so far, you seem to like being in control a lot no matter what the setting is. For some people it's something that turns them on sexually, to have dominance over people." Dr. Maine informed.

Takashi looked around at the set up of the room like he hadn't been seeing the same thing for the last four months. Just like on television shows, the room had the long comfortable couch that could be a bed as well, for the patient to lay out on and tell all their troubles. Inside was also a love seat couch and a recliner to choose from with a small coffee table in the middle. Takashi sat on the love seat couch as he always did.

The colors on the wall were friendly warm brown and the carpets creme. There was a large bookshelf that was filled with either real books or files from patients. There was a ceiling fan as well and a few fake plants here and there. All in all, the place was set up like a small living room. All of that a psychological tactic to make the person literally feel "at home." Takashi was no idiot, it would be hard for someone to get into his head. Professional or not. He wasn't these real life crazy people who came in here.

On the mahogany desk, there was a rectangle shaped plaque with his psychiatrist's name, reading: Dr. Maine. Takashi licked his lips and looked the man in the eyes, "Nah I don't feel no arousal from telling people what to do. What type of shit is that? That's weird. I don't have a sexual fetish."

"Okay." Dr. Maine said, "I say that because you're very controlling, but also very intelligent. All of those are signs of a kind of disorder."

"How am I controlling? And why does it have to be linked to something sexual?"

Dr. Maine went into his binder and looked over some back stories he and Takashi discussed about his life in the past. He stopped on the notes he took when Takashi told him he was fifteen at the time and had explained how he got so angry because his female best friend gave her virginity away to her boyfriend instead of him. So he scared her by pretending he was going to rape her to 'teach her a lesson.'

"Let me ask you this...this girl that you use to speak too...Toryn Knight," he said looking down at his notes. "You knew her since you were five and she moved into your house at fifteen. Correct?"

"Yes."

"So it's safe to say you've known this girl all your life, right?"

"Right."

Dr. Maine leaned back in his chair holding a gold ballpoint pen in his hand. "You even told me you guys briefly had a sexual relationship in your mid teens when she was living at the house, right?"

Takashi shrugged, "Yeah what of it."

"I ask because it sounds like you had plenty of time to make this girl your girlfriend if you wanted."

Takashi scrounged up his face. "I didn't like Toryn like that. We were just kids doing childish stuff. She had her boyfriend and everything and I didn't care."

"Exactly." Dr. Maine said, "you didn't care until she lost her virginity. I believe you when you say you didn't like her romantically, because based on your background story you had plenty of time to make something happen with this girl, but you didn't because you didn't want to be with her. So if you didn't want to be with her, why would your reaction be to blow up on her the way you did once she lost her virginity to her own boyfriend?"

Takashi sucked his teeth, "Man we were kids and I was mad because she promised me."

"No, you were mad because you lost control. At that point she did what she wanted to do and you couldn't handle that. You weren't really worried about her virginity, you were worried because that was your stamp on her."

"My stamp?"

"Yes, I feel like you partially view people as items. This is why I said your controlling. This also falls onto your wife, Braelyn. You said it took you three years to get her to open up a little more sexually. And even then it was because you had to snap at her to make her see that you were getting frustrated."

"So as a man I'm suppose to want a log in my bed? I'm being controlling," he said putting up air quotes, "because I wanted her to be open?"

"No, it makes you controlling because it took you three years to say something. If it truly bothered you, no normal man would wait more then six months the latest to bring it to the forefront. But you chose to wait three years. And the reason you waited so long was because like I said before, it never really bothered you that much. Within those three years you were probably doing other things and focusing on something else, but once you got bored, you set your sights on Braelyn and her sexual habits. You were bored and needed something to pick on and that was it."

Takashi chuckled and mumbled something under his breath. He was low key getting annoyed but anger management classes helped him suppress it. He was doing much better with getting angry so easily, but still felt little spurts of anger sometimes.

"So everything is my fault, got it. My bad for speaking up because my wife use to be boring as fuck in bed. My bad for being mad that my slutty ex best friend messed me up because she fucked another guy that she only knew for three years verses the person who knows her like the back of her hand. Sorry for—"

"You don't have to act like that, this is what I'm talking about. Your trying to spin the story from a point of view that puts blame on the others."

Takashi narrowed his eyes, he could choke the fuck out of Doctor Maine. This is why he hated therapy sometimes. Sometimes the doctor was chill and other times he just started going in out of nowhere, hounding him like crazy. "So there's not an ounce of blame on anybody else. Just me."

"I never said that, but you're the extremist in every situation."

Takashi clenched his teeth and got up from the couch, "Cool are we done?"

His appointment finished one o' clock on the dot and it was 12:59. He usually stayed exactly to the tee to make sure he got his money's worth, but today he just wasn't feeling it. He was tired of being the root cause of everyone's pain. He wasn't looking for a 'what about me' pity party from people. But it sucked when people could only blame you for hurting but not see the hurt you've been put through yourself.

"For today, yes...I'd just like to say that I strongly feel you have anger issues, which is apparent. More so, next week I'm going to diagnose you for sure but as of right now we're looking at personality disorder and erotomania."

"What?" Takashi said screwing his face up.

"Erotomania is a psychological delusion which makes one believe someone is in love with them or is their sexual object. In your heart you may believe someone is fascinated with you in reality when their not and you may believe in your head someone is in love with you and their not."

Dr. Maine looked at Takashi's face and saw the young man was still confused, so decided to make it make it simpler so it could be understood.

"For example, it's why you made such insensitive remarks to your female best friend when you guys were younger. Like that one time you told her she should be your sex slave. It's a form of believing someone sexually belongs to you and is your toy to play with. Hence why you may not be talking to her now that she has a new boyfriend. It's why you try to control your wife's sexual habits even though you know how's she's been for years. Erotomania is linked to forms of mental illness. You may not have a sexual disorder, don't get me wrong but I do see it in you. It'll be tested but like I said, for now we're looking at personality disorder and erotomania. You may also have some kind of psychiatric illness."

Takashi tilted his head back and started laughing. He took plenty of mental health tests and never in his life came back with anything positive. Angry, yes. Crazy? No.

"Look Takashi, I'm not trying to put you down. I'm just trying to help you, and the first step to helping you, is you being man enough to help yourself and admitting when there's a problem. As long as you acknowledge you might at least have one of these problems, we may be getting somewhere."

Takashi pulled in a deep breath and wanted to tell Dr. Maine to go and fuck himself. He really didn't believe he had any of these things and just because he was a psychiatrist didn't mean his studies were right. He did say he would have to make sure before he was actually diagnosed; it's not that Takashi was acting innocent. He did know he could take some blame. So for the great or good, he nodded his head in agreement.

Dr. Maine smiled, "Great...the first step to getting your life together is admitting that you need fixing in your life. So, I'll see you next week. Have a great day."

Outside, Takashi sat on a wooden bench inside a local park, chipping up pieces of bread as he threw it at a crowd of pigeons. The term lonely fit his predicament perfectly right now. It had been months since he had spoken to Braelyn and it felt so strange. Like an outer body experience. Braelyn was the type that liked to call and text within five minutes of no communication; now she was like a ghost in his life.

The only person who exchanged pleasantries with him was Braelyn's mother, Carmen. And that was only to remind him on the days he had Brielle or what time she would be coming downstairs when he was already outside the house waiting. Takashi had Brielle some days and other times she stayed with Braelyn. It was the only time he got to experience some happiness. When his princess came to spend a day or two with him. And even then sometimes that got boring because Brielle was only a child.

He wasn't even allowed on the property of Braelyn's parents. Henry had found out what happened the next day and Braelyn and her mother literally had to physically hold him down and beg him that night not to go over there. The funny thing was as much as Carmen swore up and down Henry couldn't find out about the situation, as soon as she opened her eyes the next day she had been the one to tell him. It wasn't that she was looking for problems; but as a mother she was enraged and wanted Takashi to be handled.

A strong gust of wind blew but it wasn't cold. Takashi was so defeated these day that he literally felt like gum on the bottom of someone's shoes. He had no one. That empty feeling came back and he began to think about his mother and what heaven felt like. It was midday and the skies were a bit overcast, hinting that it would rain soon. Takashi had no umbrella so he retreated to his car not in the mood for a cold.

Before he pulled off he decided to try and call Braelyn for the millionth time since they separated. He sent her roughly over eighty texts and calls a day. He was honestly wondering why she hadn't blocked his number. As he knew it would, the phone rang out then went to voicemail. He heard Braelyn's sweet voice telling the caller to leave a message after the beep.

Takashi cleared his throat, staring out of the window. "Uh...hey Brae. It's just me. I was wondering if we could talk. Um...maybe I can take you out to eat. You and Bri. I was just thinking about you, so...yeah. Anyways, I love you. Kiss Bri for me."

He ended the call and pulled off from the curb, going home to an empty house.

*******

TORYN GROANED AS SHE GENTLY tucked herself back into bed. She felt like a dog. She had a high fever and was shaking like a leaf. Her body was sweaty and her only destinations for the day had been the bed and the bathroom to release her bowels. On and off for the past few days she had terrible diarrhea and a high temperature. She wasn't in the mood to eat anything, not even talk.

She just stayed cooped up in the house all day, while Brandon was in and out handling business. A few times Brandon's mother Paula came by to help assist with Toryn, who Toryn felt didn't really like her too much. And Brandon's secretary Janice who constantly called to tell Brandon about some business proposal he had.

Janice called just two days ago to inform Brandon he'd be away overseas tending to his company. He'd gotten a deal with Target who wanted to endorse him and start selling his products in their chain. If the deal went through and he signed the three year contract, Brandon would be ten million dollars richer. But Brandon put that on hold once he saw how sick Toryn was getting. He wasn't sure if he was willing to take that deal. If push came to shove he was staying to take care of Toryn if she wasn't getting any better.

"You wanna go to the hospital to make sure you alright? It might be a virus or something." Brandon said next to her in the bed. He was on his laptop, surfing rival companies sites to see how they were doing in revenue and sales compared to him.

"No, I'm good." Toryn said. Truthfully she did want to go, but she felt so shitty she wasn't willing to get out of bed.

"This is like the most random thing that's ever happened to me. I don't even get sick like that, now I feel like I've been sick my whole life." Toryn grumbled. Her hair was a mess and she was a mess.

"I know honey, I'm sorry. My mom is coming by later, I should tell her to buy some spicy chicken soup—"

"Branny," She said calling him by the nickname she made up, "I'm already sweating bullets. I don't need hot ass soup. I'm not trying to pass out, and your mom doesn't even like me. She might spit in it." Toryn tried to laugh and instantly pouted, ending up regretting her decision when she felt her stomach twist violently.

"First of all smarty pants, the hot soup is going to make it better. Secondly, my mom does not hate you, Toryn. Don't do that. She adores you."