"Again!"

My backside hit the cold frosted ground and I rolled to the side before the wooden sword came down to the ground hard where I was only a moment ago. My chest burned with exertion and stray blonde hairs clung to my neck with sweat that covered my skin.

I quickly glanced up at Ragnar who took a step away from me and swiveled around to crouch in an attacking pose once again. Whirling to my feet, my hand patted the ground in a flurry to find my weapon. Feeling something solid in the blanket of snow, I straightened myself to face him, a wooden sword in my icy grasp.

Several fortnights have passed since my talk with Terje in the isolated hut outside of the village. I have not heard word of his state since then. I am sure that the twins and Kare are more than indulging themselves with torturing him and extracting more information than he provided me during our talk. I did not miss how Aderick crept out of our bed during the middle of the night for a period of time before returning, taking a quick bath in our old room before returning by my side smelling like soap. I was not ignorant. He gave Terje surprise visits of his own to keep him on edge and paranoid.

I chose to play oblivious to his visits and only welcome him back into my arms in our bed while faking being asleep.

It was a week afterward in which I approached Ragnar and Aderick to train me further in the art of battle and war. I could do some hand to hand combat and I preferred a bow and arrow over any other weapon. Daggers were my second favorite. But swords and the axe that Ragnar and Aderick favored? No. Twas too bulky and heavy for me to carry around and be effective.

I wanted to train and prepare myself mentally and physically for the battle that would be on the horizon well within a fortnight, that much we had predicted and planned for.

I discovered that training and fighting kept me away from the grief that held onto my heart from the loss of my babe. Aderick's. Our babe.

I nodded once before dodging Ragnar's lunge, leaning to the left as he swiped down in an arc to the right. I countered with an attack near his head, but with Ragnar's expertise, he blocked the attack with ease. We sparred continuously until the sun was at a different point in the sky.

With my arms feeling as if they were about to fall off with the exertion, I finally dropped the sword for good. Ragnar dropped his arm and glanced me over from head to foot. Seeming to be satisfied, he gave a final nod and

I wiped my cold wet hands on my dark loose pants as I dropped to the ground. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I fought to catch my breath. Ragnar dropped beside me, a wolfish grin on his face as he stared at me.

"That was impressive, Britta. You grow more confident and swift each day as we train," He offered quietly as our bodies began to cool down after our training.

"Thank you, Ragnar," I said raggedly. I looked down at the snow, heart thumping loudly, my thoughts going far beyond where we sat in the snow, other warriors fighting and training around us.

"It helps...doing this. I do not think about what happened or my babe as much. Working everyday...having a purpose to get up every morning...You may not realize what this is doing for me, Ragnar, but thank you."

He grunted out a response, a tinge of color reaching his cheeks at my words. Aside from Ingrid and occasionally Aderick, I did not think many people gave him the credit he deserved a being quiet man that tended to blend in with the background in most situations. With being so quiet, he was keenly aware of everyone and everything around him, making him the best second in command to Aderick.

I bit my lip in laughter as he bashfully looked around us before clearing his throat. "Britta, sometimes it is best to fill our lives with something that will consume us to fill other voids. I understand the suffering you are going through, and it will only take time to heal those types of wounds."

Surprised, my eyes widened in almost disbelief at his words. Him? A baby? What?

Ragnar watched as the questions fluttered over my face. Turning to look up at the sun, he softly whispered, "Ingrid is not my first wife, and our child is not my firstborn."

My mouth gaped at his words. Ingrid was not his first wife? What? How? Did she know? My mind swirled with this new piece of information.

"Britta!" A loud voice roared from across the field.

My eyes shot up at the break of the moment and watched as Aderick sprinted towards us, eyes wide and mouth flattened to a flat line. What was going on?

I wobbled a bit as I rose from the ground, just in time for Aderick to wrap his long arms around my body and spin me around. I nearly screeched in surprise, but stopped as he put me down, staring into my eyes as his warm hands found my cheeks.

"Are you alright, min sote? Hurt? Where? Where do you hurt? Tell me!" He demanded in a rush.

His eyes fretted back and forth over my frame, looking for anything that was not from normal. His hands moved from my face to trail down towards my hips, careful of pressing too hard.

I stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt this moment of worried frenzy for him. I adored this worrisome side of him, careful not to smother me with his concerns and worries yet hovering in the background to make sure I was alright.

"Ja, I am alright, Aderick. Please, I was just catching my breath with Ragnar. All is well, my love," I said softly for only his ears, rising on my toes to brush a light kiss on his lips.

He slowly nodded at my words and let a breath through his nose. He pressed another kiss to my lips quickly before extending a hand to Ragnar who laid on the ground waiting quietly. He hopped up before nodding to the both of us and walking away towards the manor.

I followed his silhouette grow farther away over Aderick's arm before turning back to him, nuzzling my cheek against his warmth.

I felt him let out a sigh as he wrapped his arms around me. It was fulfilling to have a moment like this, although we were surrounded by numerous fighting, sweaty men. But, nevertheless, it was a moment we spent together out in the open aside from the dining hall, which has been rare lately.

"Let us go inside so you can bathe and dress for dinner, hm?" Aderick murmured to me before sliding a hand onto my waist as we turned towards the manor.

Before we could take a dozen steps, an idea sprung to my mind which pulled a smirk to my face.

"Hmm...perchance you can help me with that if you can catch me!" I offered with a devious giggle over my shoulder before dashing towards the manor.

Slightly caught off guard, Aderick barked out a laugh before charging after me, his long gait making the rest of the time before dinner a wonderful and delicious experience of tangled limbs and heated caresses.

*.*.*

It felt like all was right in our world, like it should be. The people prospering, relationships building, and our supplies were more than full in preparation for any devastation. Aside from the worrisome cloud of Sven and the battle nearing everyday, our clan was doing well.

But what I noticed finally after days of training and meals in the hall was an absent face amongst those of our close circle.

Balder.

He was gone.

Vanished.

I had asked everyone in our group, first the men. Their eyes would shadow over, look down or away from my face and their expressions neutral as they ignored my inquiries. After several moments of silence, I would turn away in search of another person.

I wanted to avoid asking Hilde or Ingrid until I possibly had to. Since my visit to Terje, it has been a flurry of training, preparing, and the development of plans as time continued to where to snow clung to the ground more and more.

I needed to know what happened to him. Did he leave? Was he hurt? The unknown worried me beyond what it should have, but he was a dear friend that was there in Aderick's absence.

Where was he?

Finally fed up with the evasiveness of everyone, minus the girls, I cornered Hilde right after dinner and pulled her into a vacant room.

Her eyes were wide with confusion as I let out a breath to prepare myself for the answer to the question that has been burning in my mind recently.

"What is it, Britta? Is something wrong?" Her voice had a slight wobble to it.

"Have you seen Balder recently? Do you know where he is?"

Her catch of breath and the sudden sheen of tears in her eyes confirmed my worst fears. She looked away for a time, trying to collect her composure. He was gone. Dead.

"No..." I whispered, my own tears rising to the surface.

Hilde cleared her throat before her soft voice nearly echoed within the room. "He...he is not dead, Britta. But when Aderick came home, and realized what happened to you, he was outraged. You nearly died, Britta. You scared all of us with your fight with Marit and then what happened afterward...Aderick was a mess. The fight that they had...I have never seen anything like it before. I have seen fights betwixt them, but this was different. At the end, all I could hear was Aderick's voice. He said he could no longer bear to look at Balder and how he failed him. He banished him, to a place I do not know. But he's been there ever since."

She lowered her lashes as tears fell from her eyes. Sympathy, anger, and regret blended in a concoction in my chest that burned. How could I have noticed sooner? Hilde was suffering and all this time I did not know?

Guilt and worry hit me hard before I took Hilde into my arms and have her a comforting hug. She finally broke down, her tears wetting the blue fabric at my shoulder. I let her release all of her frustrations and sadness before pulling her back and wiping her eyes for her.

"I am so sorry, Hilde, I did not know...I shall fix this. I promise." I said with a shaky smile while holding her shoulders.

Turning on my heel, I moved away from Hilde and made my way towards Aderick. My chest began to flush warm with irritation. How dare he not tell me?

Pushing the large wooden doors with all my strength, I stormed into the hall with Hilde quietly on my heels as we made toward the men, my husband included.

Aderick turned to see who had entered, and gave that crooked smile before seeing my features. That smile I loved faded quickly once he determined my mood. Everyone else followed suit as a hush fell across the room.

I stopped abruptly in front of him, peering deeply into the obsidian eyes that crinkled with confusion. I let out a breath before I lost my composure in front of Aderick's men. Crossing my arms and curling my hands into fists, I tapped my foot on the floor.

"Take me to him. Now."

🌹