Something was off.

I couldn't exactly pin point what, but as I rolled myself over on my bed and latched my fingers into the cool sheet, pulling them so they were snuggled up into my chest, I soon discovered what was amiss in my bed.

The fact that this wasn't my bed.

No, as I found myself burying my face into the soft sheets, inhaling the familiar, woodsy scent through my nose and took notice to the calming sensations intertwined with a profound craving that soared through my body, I knew that it couldn't possibly be Zach's natural musk I was letting intoxicate me.

My eyes flew open as the swift realization pounded through my mind. My suspicions were only confirmed further as my eyes took in the odd sites surrounding me through the bedroom that was so clearly not mine.

At full tilt, I sprang myself up into the sitting position on the bed.

Instantaneously, a miserable pain sliced through my forehead, causing a hiss to push past my lips as I brought my hands up to cradle my hammering head.

What the heck?

Then, like a floodgate whose lock was finally set loose, memories and recollections washed through my mind, cluttering my brain with varying levels of astonishment and mortification.

Oh my god...

My trembling hand slowly crept up to cover over my parted lips as steam filled memories continues to flash through my mind.

I kissed Kaleb.

And he kissed me back; and then some.

"Oh my god," I whispered, my voice cracking towards the end as uncontainable humiliation overtook my every sense and thought.

Hot tears burned the back of my eyes and my throat constricted in agony as images of Kaleb's shirtless body moving over mine and our lips battling together in a desperate heat piled through my mind.

A small gasp, barely audible to the human ear, slipped past my lips and my eyes doubled in size as one very important, very mortifying event stuck out above the crowd of erotic memories.

I practically begged him to have sex with me...

And he denied me.

But not before giving me a mind shattering orgasm.

My body hummed in satisfaction while my mind thrashed about in dismay. I couldn't focus on what to feel, everything was too much. I was imploding within myself and I needed to leave before I broke entirely.

I wiped my hands across my dampened cheeks, ridding them of the ashamed tears that had fallen without permission. Keeping in mind the brutal headache I was sporting, I gently maneuvered myself out of the warm embrace of Kaleb's bed.

My feet met the cool carpet of Kaleb's bedroom floor and I had to fight the urge to curl my toes into the welcoming flooring. With a great haste countered by a stealthy tip toe, I made my way to the door and ever so slowly, cracked it open.

I felt my heart thrumming anxiously inside of my chest as I cautiously began to open the door.

My eyes took in the sights as they were revealed to me. A hallway that was bare of most decoration aside from the few art pieces that were scattered across the egg white walls appeared before me.

My feet took me down the hallway at a particularly leisurely pace, my mind still very aware that Kaleb could very well be lurking around any one of these strange corners.

It was his apartment after all.

I forced myself to push the fears of Kaleb's whereabouts out of my mind for now as I continued my quiet tip toe down the final steps of the hallway.

Joy zipped through my body as my familiar tan purse came into view, perched on top of small, wooden, hallway table sitting in the corner of what I assumed to be Kaleb's living room.

Slowly, I made my way towards it.

My heart was pounding away erratically as butterflies battled around in my stomach with every step I took out into the open living room. Gentle rays of soft sunlight poured through Kaleb's dark curtains, dimly illuminating the space around me.

One step closer.

Relief and pride welled in the pit of my stomach as my fingers gripped onto the smooth material of my purse as I hugged it into my body gratefully.

Then, all relief I felt was swept away violently as I heard movement sound from behind me.

A sharp breath sucked in between my teeth as dread ripped through me.

I had been caught.

Yet, no voice called out after the movement. Uncertainty and curiosity swirled inside of me and after a few seconds of waging a war within myself, I turned to find the source of the sound.

When my eyes landed on where the noise originated from, a rush of overwhelming emotions swarmed my mind and stole my breath away.

Almost greedily so, my eyes took in Kaleb's sleeping form as he lay completely stretched out on his couch. His muscular arm was propped above his head as his other hand rest on the hard ridges of his completely bare abs. My stare surveyed over Kaleb's naked chest and took in every dip and bulge of his exquisitely structured, mouthwatering torso.

His curly raven hair was untamed and splayed out in every which direction as it lay against the pillow his head rested on as he slept. And his face... his face was so peaceful and so incredibly handsome it physically hurt my heart to look at him any longer.

This man, this beautiful man had been so kind to me last night and I didn't know how to handle it. I had originally thought that all he wanted was to sleep with me and then he would move on. Yet, the one time I throw myself at him, he refuses.

All in all, this man had baffled me to no end and I hadn't a clue how to perceive him or his actions from last night.

Knowing I didn't have time to figure out the maddening case that was the tauntingly handsome man laying just feet away from me, I tore my gaze away from his body and went for the front door, leaving behind all of the memories and feelings that occurred last night and the man responsible.

It didn't take but a few seconds of me wandering around the parking lot of Kaleb's apartment complex aimlessly, for me to I realized my car was sorely missing.

Reaching inside of my purse, I scavenged out my phone to check the time and call for a cab.

My finger slid over the screen of my phone, unlocking it and as the bright light of my phone shone upwards, presenting itself to me, every muscle in my body froze as my chest ceased up with an almighty terrorizing force.

4 missed calls.

6 text messages.

All from Zach.

He had never texted or called me that much. Ever.

My breathing began to increase into terrified pants as my mist filled eyes skimmed over each one of his messages.

Where are you?

Leah, answer me.

What the fuck is going on, Leah?

Where the fuck are you?!

I swear to god Leah, call me back right fucking now or I'll call the cops.

CALL ME. NOW!

"Shit," I cursed out under my breath, my voice dipping and quivering as raw fear gnawed away at my mind.

I had to go.

I wasn't stupid. I knew what would happen when I went home but the longer I prolonged the inevitable, the worst the punishment would ultimately be.

Within the next forty five minutes, I had called a cab, been taken to my car, and was now sitting inside of Lola as I pulled up in front of my and Zach's apartment building.

I shifted my car into park and turned the car off, languidly retracting my car keys from the key port and laid them on my lap.

I didn't want to move. I couldn't.

As I sat there staring up at the daunting building, I found that my entire body was petrified into place. My eyes flitted desperately back and forth across the sickly green building I called home; the building that currently occupied a furiously livid man who had most likely been up most of the night searching for me.

My stomach dropped painfully when I pulled into our apartment complex and I saw Zach's car sitting there, almost looking threatening as it did so.

The small shred of hope I had allowed to blossom inside of me that Zach would still be out and about, scouring the streets for me, was crushed painfully into the back of my mind when I set my sights on his car.

I knew he was in there. I knew he was waiting for me.

And I knew what he would do to me; what he had most likely been envisioning and planning as the minutes ticked by and my absence continued on.

Yet, this time, more so than ever... I truly deserved it.

I had kissed another man, let another man's hands roam every inch of my body willingly, and I had allowed that man to break through every barrier I had set so firmly in place.

I let him in. I let him touch me. And what's worst of all?

I desperately wanted all of it.

Through my memories, I could almost recall the unruly hunger that overcame my mind as Kaleb ravaged my body expertly. I vividly remember yearning for more; more of him. More of everything. I was untamed and unashamed last night as I unleashed every ounce of pent up passion I had for Kaleb.

We shared moments of every variety. Some were light and flirtatious, many were lustful and heated. Yet, the most prominent memory of the night was by far our tender connection made through our mirrored, sorrowful experiences with our mothers.

I remembered all of it. For as long as I lived, I would never be able to forget nor recreate that moment between us. It was almost as if I could feel whatever forbidden bond we had deepening to an inseparable point. That look he gave me when I told him about my mom, the one riddled with compassion and understanding carved its way through my seemingly impenetrable walls and embedded its way deeply into my heart in a way that no others had before.

And that's why I deserved this.

Whatever Zach had planned for me when I walked through that front door, it was justifiable. The guilt I could feel tearing away at my insides viciously would seem as to anyone else an adequate level of punishment.

But not for me.

I betrayed Zach. I was exactly what he branded me on that night just a few weeks ago.

A whore.

I obviously wouldn't tell him what had occurred; after all I didn't have a death wish. I would simply tell him that I fell asleep at Meg's house after watching a movie with her and then came home the second I woke up.

He would buy it and I was confident that Meg would vouch for me.

But the beating would still come none the less and as I take in each punch or kick for staying out late without calling, I'll know that deep down, the severity of it will be nothing compared to what would happen if he knew the true reasoning for my absence.

So, after having sat in the parking lot for some time, I forced my hand to unlock my car and my feet to step out onto the pavement.

Each step was more dreadful than the last as I walked towards our apartment. Every step echoed through the vacant parking lot, the sound pounding through my head and taunting me each step of the way until I eventually reached the front door.

My feet paused as the moment had arrived.

"Oh, god," my voice cried out in a strained whisper. I willed the tears I could feel pushing against the back of my eyes to calm. My nerves were quickly enveloping my entire body as my mind raced and my horrific thoughts began to suffocate me from the inside out. My skin crawled as little bites of electricity seemed to spark out across every inch of my body, causing it to writhe and tremble as my anxiety began to take over.

The sooner you go in, the quicker it's over.

Without leaving myself a window of opportunity to bow out, I grabbed for the door handle of our apartment and turned.

I watched as the door drifted open, revealing the familiar living room settings to me with each inch it moved.

Cautiously, I stepped inside.

My uneven breaths were audible to even my own ears as I crept into the apartment, slowly shutting the door behind me.

My eyes were wide and observant as they swept over the planes of the living room and kitchen in search of Zach or any sign of him.

They found nothing.

My feet took me into the kitchen as my stare swept over and back through the space, searching for any signs of his presence.

Maybe he's in the bedroom.

Steadily, I turned on my heel to unwillingly head into the only other room I could possibly think of that Zach could be in.

A jarring gasp sucked into my lungs, inflating them with shock and instantaneous fear as my purse dropped from my trembling hand, crashing to the floor with a profound thud.

Zach.

There he was... staring at me.

Just staring.

The bags hanging under his eyes gave way to the sleepless night he had endured and yet, his eyes were pointedly alert and trained on mine.

His brunette locks were disheveled, as if he had been running his fingers through them continuously. There was no visible expression lying on his features, nothing to give away to his true thoughts or mood.

Never before could I recall seeing Zach look so... blank; so unsure.

"I'm so sorry, Zach..." I began, my voice wobbling as the tears I had been attempting to hold back flooded my eyes and my guilt broke through the surface.

At the sound of my voice, something broke in Zach's stare.

"Where were you?" he asked, his voice low and deadly, his stare never daring to leave mine as he waited for my answer.

"My friend Megs. We- we had a movie night at her place and I fell asleep..." My voice dropped off as Zach's deep blue eyes lit up with fury, his mouth twisting into a deep sneer.

"You fell asleep?" he growled as he took a dominating step towards me, causing me in turn to take a step back.

He continued towards me until my back hit the wall behind me. Alarm ripped through my body as Zach pressed his entire body flush up against mine, pressing me into the wall behind us as his hands came up and gripped tightly onto my upper arms.

"You fucking fell asleep and didn't have the brains enough to call me?!"

"I'm-"

"What was I supposed to think, Leah!?" My muscles cried out in agony as his fingers dug into my skin, his grip squeezing my arms with every ounce of his strength.

Hot tears splashed against my burning cheeks as sob after sob ripped through my already hoarse throat. My body was shaking and my mind was thrashing about as Zach yelled directly in my face.

"What was I supposed to think!? I didn't know where you were, Lee! I didn't. Fucking. Know!"

And then the strangest thing happened.

Zach sucked in a very loud, rasped breath, his shoulders beginning to shake against my body.

"I didn't know, Lee," he said, his voice suddenly swelling with thick emotion.

Confusion and apprehension invaded my mind as Zach's grip lessened considerably around my arms.

"I thought you left," his lips mumbled out against my skin as he drove his head into the crook of my neck, almost snuggling himself into me.

I was speechless. My mind had blanked of all thought and my heart stilled, unsure of how to react to Zach's sudden vulnerability.

"I was so scared you left me, Lee," he whispered out, his breath fanning against my neck and causing my skin to prickle with the feeling.

Slowly, I felt the warmth of Zach's hands leave my arms completely and slip around my waist. Zach hugged me into his body, holding me tenderly yet possessively.

"I didn't know what to do," he confessed.

Then I felt it. Astonishment sliced through my mind as I felt the obvious sensation of warm drops of water mix with Zach's steamy breath against my skin.

A loud, muffled cry tore through the room as Zach's body heaved, more hot liquid falling onto my neck and dripping down my chest.

"I'm so sorry," he said through his cries. "I don't mean to hurt you."

My chest constricted as the words I had been longing to hear for years finally tumbled off of Zach's quivering lips.

"I just get so angry and..." He took in a few quick breaths. "I always regret it afterwards... always."

Abruptly, Zach lifted his head from the crook of my neck and as his hands lifted and grabbed onto the sides of my face tenderly.

A startled whimper left my lips as I took in Zach's expression.

His face was damp, shining with tears that had rolled down his handsome face. His bright blue eyes bored into mine with such a profound intensity that it absolutely stole my breath away.

"You are my everything, Leah. I don't know what I would do without you and I never want to find out." He paused; hurt flooding his shining eyes as his brows creased in pain.

"I know my mom left my dad because of how he... treated her and I got a taste of how that felt last night and I... I can't go through that again," he broke off, his emotions taking over his sentence.

I swear my heart cracked into a thousand pieces as I watched tear after shame filled tear roll down Zach's reddened face. He was an absolute mess.

Little by little, Zach slid down my body. He lowered himself to his knees in front of me and wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling me as close to his body as he possibly could.

"I'm so sorry, Lee," he sobbed.

"I'm fucked up, I know it. And I know that I hurt you and that I've pushed you to your limit and I wouldn't blame you if you hated me."

Zach's nose brushed against my stomach as he raised his wet gaze to mine, adoration bursting through his stare.

"But I love you so goddamn much it tears me to pieces to think about you leaving."

My body was running with so many emotions it didn't know how to control itself. Tears sprung to my eyes with Zach's admittance and in that moment my heart surged so hard in my chest with such an obscene amount of love for him that it physically hurt me to not say it back.

"I love you too. I do, I love you so much," I replied in a rush of words as I sank myself down onto his level, landing on my knees in front of him and placing my hands over his damp cheeks. Zach mirrored my actions, cupping my face between his palms, his thumbs peeking out and brushing away tears of my own as they slipped down my flushed face.

"You do?" he asked, his eyes lighting up with hope.

"Of course," I reassured him.

"And you're not leaving?"

"Never."

And I meant it wholeheartedly.

Zach's eyes shut with my answer, water pooling underneath his eyelids and spilling over down his cheeks and the sweetest smile rose up on his face.

"Thank you," he whispered, his words swelling with earnest gratefulness.

"I swore I'd never be like my dad," Zach began as he watched his fingers as I felt him gently place a strand of my hair behind my ear. "And I am, in more ways than I would care to admit."

Then, Zach's stare fixed on mine, determination engraved behind his sapphire eyes.

"But I swear to you, it won't end the same for me as it did for him. I'm gonna fight for you and I'm going to prove to you that I can be better; that I will be better... for you."

I was at a loss in every way imaginable. A happiness like I hadn't felt in years stirred in my chest as my heart overflowed with appreciation and dire love for the man in front of me.

I hadn't felt this close to him or this loved in quite some time and I was reveling in it and even as stupid as it may be, I believed him.