I needed to leave the apartment.

I couldn't stay there any longer; not at the moment at least. I couldn't eat, I hadn't slept, and every time I passed by the bedroom, flashbacks and a vicious nausea consumed my mind and body.

The apartment was suffocating me, the memories that it held; drowning me.

I knew rehearsal wasn't for another hour but I couldn't sit in that apartment anymore attempting to go about my daily routine. I didn't have the energy for yoga, could have cared less about cleaning the place, and felt myself lose an ounce more of my sanity with every second I stayed put.

So I left.

I walked into the theater with the same, languid steps I had been taking all day long. My conviction, any drive I had, any joy at all that once flowed through my veins was gone.

Zach had officially taken everything out of me.

Everything but this brand new emotion in which I didn't have a lot of experience with but was quickly becoming addicted to as it was the only thing that made sense, the only emotion that seemed to fuel any point in my life.

Hate.

Loathing.

Pure, dignified, irresistible hate for the man I had loved for so long. The man I still loved but to what degree? I wasn't sure anymore.

I was prepared to step into the theater, stalk off somewhere quiet, maybe even to the garden just to be alone with my thoughts in a neutral setting.

I planned on doing that.

Yet, the second I stepped foot into the lobby, I knew my plans were going to take a drastic turn.

A commotion caught my attention, propelling my stare up as the lobby door shut loudly behind me.

Frantic sky blue eyes locked onto mine, a thousand shades of sorrow and fury registering through his stare.

I said nothing as we held each other gaze. Kaleb's lips parted in an attempt to say something but nothing came out; only silence hung between us two as the words we both longed to speak were nowhere in reach.

I took the silence as an opportunity to take in his appearance; which was far off of his usual game. If I were to be completely honest, he looked... terrible.

Well, as terrible as someone that naturally attractive could look.

His hair was messed in every which direction, deep, unhealthy looking bags hung under Kaleb's eyes and gave away to the exhaustion that was practically radiating off of him. And his face... his entire, excruciatingly handsome face was so terribly broken and distraught that it was almost painful to look at him any longer.

I knew I looked none the better.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Kaleb spoke.

"You-," he began, his voice cracking as soon as he spoke. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"You haven't been answering your phone."

My brows rose a slight bit, taken a bit off guard by what he finally did land on saying.

"Oh, uh, I honestly didn't even think about it. Probably still laying on the floor," I offered up as an excuse with a barely there shrug as I averted my eyes from his and to the floor.

"I called you. I called you all night long and you never picked up... I didn't know what to think," Kaleb said, his voice thick with emotion.

I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't want anyone knowing what happened last night. I couldn't handle Kaleb out of all people knowing how far I had fallen within the span of a few minutes at the hands of the one he had warned me about time and time again.

This conversation needed to be over.

Tearing my gaze from the floor, I forced myself to focus on Kaleb's gaze that held so much pain... so much angst.

"Sorry," I mumbled out, the effort in my apology obviously lacking.

Kaleb's stare flashed with sympathy as he shook his head.

"I tried to get to you... I tried but-"

"It's fine," I snapped, my eyes pinned on his bitterly. "Nothing actually happened so it turned out you didn't need to come at all."

With that, I was done. I was done talking about it; dancing around the subject. I just wanted to be by myself. So as soon as I finished speaking, I started walking my way towards the theater doors and past Kaleb.

Not without protest from him though, of course.

"Leah, stop," he tried. But as I found out last night, saying stop doesn't really have much of an effect.

I kept on and so did he.

"Leah, we need to talk!"

"No, we don't," I called back to him as I approached the theatre doors.

"I heard, Leah!"

My feet stopped in their place. Every muscle in my body tensed as the world around me came to a screeching halt. My breath stuck in my throat, the effort to breathe taking a backseat to the horrifying revelation of Kaleb's that pierced through my ears and stabbed its way through my chest and directly into my throbbing heart.

Slowly, I turned on my heel to face him.

My eyes were wide and filled with apprehensive terror as they settled on Kaleb's crestfallen features, drifting to his soft lips as he spoke, confirming my absolute worst fear.

"I heard everything," he bit out, his words chopped and heavy with contempt as his mournful stare bored into mine.

He heard...

My phone must have never shut off after Zach slapped it out of my hand while I was talking to Kaleb, leaving it perfectly open and receptive for anyone on the receiving end of the phone call to have a front row seat to witness every agonizing minute of my torture last night.

I hadn't considered this and I didn't know what to think, how to handle it, what I should be feeling.

I searched deep within myself as I recalled the one emotion that had been my only friend in the last 24 hours. I latched onto it desperately, feeling the loathing seep through my soul as my stare morphed from shocked and frightened to cold and bitter.

"Hope you enjoyed the show," I said with a disgusting amount of sarcasm weaved into my words.

Kaleb's head reared back with appall written clearly over his face.

"No I didn't fucking enjoy it, Leah. I wanted to tear my goddamn ears off the entire time! It was the worst 8 minutes of my entire life... listening to that... to you."

"Well that makes two of us."

And there it was again. Silence.

The moment was too emotionally pungent for either of us to comprehend what to say next. I personally was deflecting every ounce of emotion Kaleb was trying to throw my way, determined to allow only the hardened disdain control my emotions and thoughts from that point on.

Kaleb let out a deeply frustrated sigh as he drew both of his hands up into his raven hair, running his fingers back through his thick locks several times at a rapid pace, telling me exactly how his hair got in the mangled state it was currently in.

"I know this is weird to ask but it's been eating at me all night," Kaleb finally spoke, shutting his eyes and taking in a deep breath before allowing himself to speak again "Are you on anything or...?" he trailed off, dread filling between the lines of his silence.

"No, I'm not pregnant. I've been on birth control since Zach and I started dating," I muttered out under my breath, quickly becoming all too annoyed with his intimate questions.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the movement before contact could be made. My entire body flinched back as I stumbled a couple of steps away from Kaleb as he attempted to reach his hand out to me.

"Don't," I ordered, my eyes locked onto his as I shook my head and my heart thudded frantically inside of my chest at the mere thought of any physical contact at that moment or ever again for that matter.

Kaleb's face fell instantly, despondency and an overwhelming sadness taking over his handsome features.

"Peaches..." he called out, using that nickname that he had given me on that first day we met; the nickname that tore into my heart and begged it to feel something, anything.

But still, I felt nothing.

"I've gotta go," I told him in a low voice and without waiting for his answer ducked my head and turned for the door.

"Don't do that to me, Leah. Don't you pull away from me... not now."

Kaleb's voice stopped me in my spot. Slowly, I spun back to him and fixed my cold, worn out stare on his pleading one.

"Why do you still care?" I asked, my voice drained of any and all emotion. "You got what you wanted, right? You told me about Zach and I didn't believe you and you were right. You won. You win, Kaleb... Zach turned out to be the bad guy you said he was after all. Shouldn't you be happy about that?"

"Happy?" Kaleb asked as he shook his head, his eye eluding with deep confusion. "Why the fuck would that make me happy?"

"Because you get what you wanted. You wanted Zach to be the bad guy so you could be the hero and swoop in and save the girl, right?" I asked with a raised, challenging eyebrow.

"I'm not trying to be a hero, I'm just trying to do the right thing and help you out of a situation that you're too deep into to see how fucked up it is," Kaleb retorted with anger bubbling under his words.

"But did I ever ask for your help, Kaleb? Or did you just thrust your help on me forcefully?" My voice was full of scathing hate and bitterness as I directed my carefully chosen words right at Kaleb.

Kaleb's entire expression contorted with fury and in that moment... he looked nothing like the Kaleb I had come to know.

"Don't fucking say shit like that to me, Leah," Kaleb snarled, his eyes livid and scorching into my equally furious stare. "Don't you ever compare me trying to help you to what that fucker did last night. That's not fair or true and you know damn well that it's not."

"A lot of things aren't fair in life and as we both found out last night... you've just gotta deal with it," I spit out at him, my words chopped and full of malice.

An odd look came over Kaleb's face, his rage greatly diminishing and being replaced with the purest confusion swarming through his eyes.

"Why are you acting like this? This isn't you, Leah..."

As livid as I had already been, I felt something inside of me snap violently as every ounce of my anger tripled and shot out of my mouth through way of my utterly hate filled words.

"Oh, I'm sorry is there a proper way for people to act after they've just been raped, because I seem to have missed out on that memo. How exactly should I act after being raped by my boyfriend of three years, Kaleb?"

"Leah, that's not-"

"Tell me, Kaleb because I obviously don't. Fucking. Know!" I snapped, feeling a rush of pure rage and overpowering hatred surge through my body and direct itself at the only person in range.

"Leah, stop yelling!" Kaleb exploded, his eyes drilling into mine as he tried his hardest to work his way into my hardened soul. "This isn't you. You don't yell, you don't curse!"

"That's the second time you've said that, Kaleb. That this isn't me, but what if it is?" I asked, my eyes wide and insistent on his as I took a step into him. "What if I don't know who I am anymore? What if everything I've known and depended upon for the last three years has suddenly been ripped out from beneath me and... I don't know what to do? What if the only way that seems to work right now is to be harsh and yell and curse if I wanna fucking curse?"

"Because you're not harsh and you're not an abrasive person, Leah," Kaleb countered as he too took a step in.

"You're kind and compassionate and gentle. You're insanely beautiful inside and out and you would never hurt anyone if you could help it," Kaleb said, his forehead creased and his eyes glowing with truth.

Completely deadpanned, I answered.

"And I got raped because of it."

Crushing devastation swarmed through Kaleb's bright stare. He shook his head, his expression despondent but certain.

"No, Leah, that's not why that happened. That happened because of who you let in your life, not who you are," Kaleb stated.

"And you need to report him," he continued.

"No."

"Leah, yes you do," Kaleb said, leaving little room for argument.

I argued anyway.

"Kaleb, no I don't," I said defiantly. "There's no need to tell anyone else. It won't make a difference. It won't take back what happened."

"No, but it will put that fucker behind bars where he belongs."

"What if I'm not ready for that? What if that's not even what I want? Did you ever stop to consider that?"

"No, I didn't because after what I heard last night I didn't think there would be any question about it," Kaleb said, his face etched in puzzlement and anger.

"That's exactly it. You thought, you assumed I would do what you wanted," I stated pointedly just as a strange thought crept into my mind. "You know you say Zach is so possessive and controlling and yet, you're trying to control me just like he does... You're telling me to leave him, to report him, to do this and do that just. Like. Zach! Why doesn't anybody ask me what I wanna do? Why can't I make any decisions for myself?!" I cried out, my words echoing through the lobby and reverberating back to my ears the slight bit of misery laced through my tone.

"Fine!" Kaleb exploded, his eyes wild as he threw his hands up in the air exasperatedly. "What do you want, Leah? Tell me what the fuck you want!"

"I want it all gone!" I yelled out, my emotions crashing through the surface of my frigid façade and washing through every inch of my body as every feeling of devastating pain, anguish, betrayal and violation rushed through my weeping heart.

"I want to forget. I want to forget everything," I said through way of a broken whisper as the first tear of what would be many fell from my eyes.

"I want to forget how his hands felt on my body. I want every memory of him thrusting into me gone... burned from my brain. I want the Zach that I fell in love with to come back..." I cried mournfully, my voice breaking as a small sob ripped through my throat.

"I want not to feel broken and helpless... like I always do. I wanna be strong like I used to be and... I don't wanna be a burden to anyone anymore. I'm so tired of being a burden," I whispered more to myself than anyone.

My wet stare found Kaleb's, welling with even more tears as I witnessed Kaleb's own beautiful eyes holding back tears of his own, his eyes red and devastated as I let him see just how broken I truly was.

"I want to go back and hang up the phone so you don't have to listen to it happen, because I know that that was hard for you... and probably hurt you to hear and I just wanna take away any pain that I've ever caused you because you don't deserve it." I broke off as another grieving sob chocked in my throat.

Wiping my hands over my hot face, ridding them of the tears that had already fallen, I continued.

"If I could go back and make the choice not to audition for this play I would... in a heartbeat. Because then you'd never even have to know I existed and you'd never have to go through any of this... Your life would be so much easier-"

"I don't want it to be easier," Kaleb cut me off to say. His eyes shone earnestly into mine, pure conviction carved into his words. "I don't want easy, Leah... I want you."

Another strangled cry slipped past my lips at his words. Ever so hesitantly, Kaleb carefully raised his hands up in front of me, showing me what he wanted to do and asking for permission before he did so. My heart lurched painfully in my chest as he held his hands out in front of me, proving to me just how thoughtful and selfless of a man he was. All he wanted to do was comfort me and as I stared at his two hands, I tried to think of any time those two hands had hurt me... and I couldn't.

Lifting my gaze back to Kaleb's and meeting his patient eyes, I meekly nodded.

I braced myself mentally and physically as Kaleb's large hands came towards my face and with the utmost care, tenderly cupped both sides of my face.

The warmth of his hands mixed with the hot tears that had dripped down my cheeks and ever so slowly, Kaleb brushed each and every tear from my face, taking his time and mesmerizing ever motion of his thumb over my flushed skin.

"I want everything that comes with you," Kaleb spoke. "I want all of the strings attached, every piece of baggage you have... I want it all if it means I get to have you."

"Kaleb..."

"You walked into my life and you've completely overtaken it without even trying... and I wouldn't have it any other way. There is something so special about you and even if you don't know it now... I know you're gonna make it through this and you're going to come out on the other side because that's who you are, Leah. You're a fighter and you will get through this."

Kaleb's eyes bored into mine with so much confidence I almost believed him. I wanted to, desperately. I wanted to believe that I would get over this, I wanted to believe that Kaleb was telling the truth but... how could I be sure?

I wasn't sure what to trust as truth or lie anymore. I wasn't sure who was right and who was just telling me what I wanted to hear. All I knew is in that moment, standing so close to Kaleb and gazing into each other's as intimately as we were... I felt safe.

Kaleb made me feel safe and comforted and after last night, that's all I needed.

Without holding back, I dropped my body into Kaleb's and released sob after violent sob as they wracked my body. Kaleb wrapped his muscular arms around me and held me tightly to him as I relived every moment of last night, remembered everything Zach said, and felt every violation he used my body for.

I wept and wept and Kaleb held me, shushing my cries gently and threading his fingers through my hair lovingly. I let it all out. Every shred of dignity lost, all of the painful shame I felt at the hands of the one I loved. I let it out and Kaleb let me.

"I think there's someone you should talk to," Kaleb broke through the sounds of my crying to say, his lips moving against the top of my head as he spoke. "You don't have to if you don't want to but... I really think she could help and I'd be there with you too if that made you feel safer."

My fist clenched into Kaleb's shirt as his words hit me, more tears producing and sliding down my damp cheeks.

He was giving me a choice.

"Maybe..."

I felt Kaleb nod his head that was placed on top of mine.

"Okay, that's fair," he said softly. "I've actually told her a lot about you."

That caught my attention.

Lifting my reddened, drenched and assumedly very blotchy face up towards Kaleb, I rested my chin on his chest as I stared up at him, uncertainly swirling through my stare.

"Who?"

"My sister," he answered as he grazed his thumb across my eyes to brush away my tears.

His sister. His sister that was married to an abusive husband. His sister that has been through what I have and knows exactly what it's like but escaped her abuser.

She would understand.

She might actually be able to help.

Rolling my lips into my mouth contemplatively, the bitter, salty taste of my fallen tears on my lips flooding through my taste buds, I studied Kaleb's stare looking for any signs of foul play.

Of course, there were none.

Popping my lips back out, I answered his proposal.

"When can I meet her?"